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Tissue Paper Jokes

15 tissue paper jokes and hilarious tissue paper puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tissue paper that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Tissue Paper Short Jokes

Short tissue paper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tissue paper humour may include short piece paper jokes also.

  1. Good news! I read that people aren't hoarding toilet paper anymore, Guess we wiped out that tissue, I mean, issue.
  2. I was walking through a supermarket when a tower of toilet paper fell on me I'm worried I have soft tissue damage.
  3. My kid asked me what was I doing in my 20's. I told him that I used to throw his siblings on tissue papers.
  4. A box of tissues is mingling with a roll of toilet paper at a party. Tissues to toilet paper: so that's what I do. It's so embarrassing. What is it that you do?
  5. A man had trouble trusting people However, everytime he used paper towels to clean his nose, he was perfectly fine.
    He had trust tissues.
  6. I dropped a whisky bottle on the kitchen floor I started cleaning it with paper tissue, then I realized I'm just wasting paper

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Tissue Paper One Liners

Which tissue paper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tissue paper? I can suggest the ones about tissue and wrapping paper.

  1. Why couldn't the surgeon 3D print a new pair of lungs? He ran out of tissue paper.
  2. Did you hear the joke about the inexpensive tissue paper? It's really tearable.

Tissue Paper Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about tissue paper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sheet paper jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tissue paper pranks.

A lawyer, an environmentalist and a teacher were going the bathroom.

The lawyer gets done, washes his hands and uses the entire roll of tissue paper to wipe his hands. "I was taught to be thorough.", he said.
The environmentalist washes his hands and uses his own kerchief to wipe his hands. "I was taught to be environment friendly.", he said.
The teacher walks out without washing his hands. "I was taught not to p**... on my hands.", he says.

A boy sees that his pet turtle isn't moving...

"Mommy, my turtle is dead," wailed the little boy to his mother, holding the turtle out to her in his hand.
His mom said, "That's all right. We'll wrap him in a tissue paper, put him in a little box, then have a lovely burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out for a yummy big ice cream, and then get you a great new pet, like a puppy!" Just then, she noticed the turtle move. "Look! Your turtle isn't dead after all!"
"Oh," said the little boy, "can we kill it?"

My Ex-wife Wanted a b**... Job.

In an effort to save money, I told her that taking a few sheets of toilet tissue and rubbing it between her b**... twice a day would make her b**... grow. So my ex did this diligently for 3 months. Finally, after seeing no improvement, she came to me with a look of disappointment on her face. She asked "Are you sure rubbing toilet paper between my breast will make them grow?"
I replied, "Yeah; look how big it made your a**...."

A cowboy walks into a bar...

...dressed entirely in paper, head to toe. The works. Paper hat, crinkled paper hat-band, grocery bag shirt, newsprint vest, origami guns in cardboard holsters, belts made of those paper links on Christmas trees, butcher's paper pants and chaps, tissue-box boots, and glossy magazine spurs. He nods to the bartender and takes a seat at the poker table. He plays for about half an hour, when the sheriff bursts in and arrests him for rustling.

Today in the stock market...

Feathers are down, while escalators have continued on their slow decline. The market for raisins has dried up. Scott Tissue reached a new bottom, while paper remained stationary. There is is some good news, however: helium is up, and elevators rose, as well.