Gather Around for Heartwarming Tipsy Jokes and Uplifting Humor
Two tipsy women sneak into a graveyard to pee one night.
Once done, one uses her panties to wipe with and throws them away, the other uses a ribbon from a nearby wreath.
The next day one husband called the other: "My wife came home last night without any panties!"
"That's nothing!" The other replied, "My wife had a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"
That's weird
A man walks into a bar and orders a bottle of whisky and drinks it all. Tipsy, he now orders half a bottle of whisky. Drunk, he orders a glass of whisky. Heavily drunk and in a sorry state, he now orders half a glass of whisky. Then he says,
"That's weird. The less I drink the drunker I get"
I rocked up to a party the other night and was having a great time.
I got a bit tipsy and looked down at my wrist, my watch was missing. So off I go out the front to see if I dropped it. I get out there and I see this drunk guy screaming at his gf, I look down and he's crushing my watch under his foot. I ran straight over and punched him out cold. You don't mistreat your gf, not on my watch.
Tipsy Passenger
John had a few drinks and was traveling on a train. The ticket checker stopped and asked John to show his ticket. John was searching his pockets and wallet.
The ticket checker said "it's alright, you seem to be a respectable gentleman. No need to show your ticket."
John insisted "I need the ticket for real, to find out where I am going"
Don't Do It!
A slightly tipsy woman is watching TV and yells: "Don't go to the church you dumb bitch! Don't do it!"
Her husband askes: "What are you watching?"
She replies: "Our wedding video!"
Where does a horse go when he gets a little too tipsy?
The stable.
A tipsy man staggered out of Melbourne Hotel and entered a taxi. "Take me to Melbourne Hotel," he told the cabbie. The cabbie was momentarily confused. They sat in silence for minutes. The cab never moved. Then the cabbie got out, opened the back door and told the guy: "Look. (Pointing)"
"The Melbourne Hotel." "How much for the fare?" "No charge," replied the cabbie. "Thanks. Next time, don't drive so fast!"
The band "Snow Patrol" walks into a bar...
The band "Snow Patrol" walks into a bar, looking a little tipsy.
The bartender asks, "How many bars have you folks been to, tonight?"
They reply, "Just two."
The bartender says, "GET OUT!!"
Where does a horsey go when he's feelin a little tipsy?
The stable.
Do you think herb butter likes to party?
Cause herb butter in the club getting tipsy.
Thanks to u/D_J-ANGO. Have not been able to get this out of my head.
Janet, a bit tipsy from the champagne, didn't realize the new office photocopier was a 3D photocopier.
So Steve got a nice bust for his bookshelf for christmas.
You can explore tipsy barkeep reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean tipsy alcohol dad jokes. There are also tipsy puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
If a one-legged woman is named Ilene, what do you call her after a few drinks?
Tipsy, and an easy lay.
There's only four things you can be in life: sober, tipsy, drunk and hungover.
Tipsy is the only one where you don't cry when you're doing it.
Road sign on the highway
Don't drive if you are tipsy, buzzed, or blitzen
