The Best 79 Tips Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Tips jokes. There are some tips pointers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these tips waiters puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Tips Jokes and Puns

*tips fedora at mosquito*


Tips to reduce weight…
First turn your head to the right and then to the left.

Repeat this exercise whenever your offered something to eat!


So today I was wondering, when a rabbi performs a circumsision, does he get paid or does he just keep the tips?

For my summer job, I worked at the zoo, circumsizing elephants

The pay wasn't great, but the tips were enormous!

jokes about tips

A prostitute got a tramp stamp

It said "tips appreciated"

How do circumcision doctors get paid?

In tips.

My friend had asked me for tips that may help his erectile dysfunction

Apparently, a hotter wife wasn't a good answer.

Tips joke, My friend had asked me for tips that may help his erectile dysfunction

What's the worst part about working in a glory hole?

You only get paid in tips.

Did you hear about the rabbi who had to circumcise elephants?

The pay was terrible but the tips were huge!

I got a job at the circus.

I had to circumcise the elephants. The wages weren't great but the tips were enormous.

Do Rabbis get paid for performing circumcisions?

Nope, they just keep the tips.

You can explore tips protip reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean tips ideas dad jokes. There are also tips puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A guy goes to his Rabbi to price a circumcision...

He says, "Rabbi, how much do you charge for a circumcision?" And the Rabbi says, "Not much, I just keep the tips."

Why does a Mohel(Jewish Circumciser) have to be good at his job?

He only works on tips

Are you still looking for a job?

I hear they're hiring at the zoo circumcising elephants. The pay is small, but the tips are big!

I got a new job circumcizing elephants

The pay isn't great but the tips are enormous

Long ago I got my first job as a circumciser.

The pay was not much but I collected a lot of tips.

Tips joke, Long ago I got my first job as a circumciser.

I always cry before talking to attractive girls

Any tips against pepper spray?

A man gets circumcised...

After his surgery, he asks the surgeon, "How much should I pay you?"

The surgeon replies, "Oh, you don't need to pay me anything, I do this sort of stuff for free."

The man, confused, then asks, "How do you make a living?"

The surgeon says, "I just collect the tips."

My last job was circumcising elephants

The pay wasn't great but the tips were huge.

I recently started my new job at the zoo circumcizing elephants...

The pay isn't great, but the tips are huge.

I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . .

. . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?

5 Tips To Improve Your Writing

1. Contractions aren't necessary.

2. Do not overuse exclamation points!!!!!!

3. Don't be redundant, because it can be boring to read the same things over and over again, just restated.

4. Do not appear condescending to your readers. "Condescending" means to look down upon someone.

5. Do not leave hanging prepositions around.

I Recently Got a Job Circumsizing Horses...

The pay isn't good but the tips are huge.

Did you hear...

about the guy who got a job circumcising elephants?

the pay wasn't great but the tips were huge.

I used to perform circumcisions for a living.

I got tons of tips.

How do Rabbis make money?

They keep the tips.

Tips joke, How do Rabbis make money?

Three Drunks Get into a Taxi

Three drunks get into a taxi and tell the driver where to go. The driver has an idea of the address so he starts the engine, waits a few seconds and turns off the car. He says, "Alright guys we're here!"

The first drunk tips him Β£10 and gets out.

The second drunk tips him Β£20 and gets out.

The third drunk then slaps the driver across the face.

Worried that the drunk had realized the car hadn't moved an inch, he asks the drunk, "What was that for?"

The drunk says, "Control your speed next time. You almost killed us!"

I used to work at the circus

I was the guy that circumcised the elephants.

The pay wasn't great, but the tips were huge.

I took a job at a zoo performing elephant circumcisions

The benefits aren't great, but the tips are huge.

Why was the circumcision doctor so rich ?

He kept all of the tips

How do people lose their kids at the mall?

Seriously, any tips would be greatly appreciated...

Wanted: Circumcision surgeon

$700 per week, plus tips.

Why do arts graduates like fancy restaurants?

Bigger tips.

What's the best place to find anonymous tips?

A glory hole.

I used to work at the zoo circumcising elephants

the job was awful, but the tips were huge

My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living.

The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.

How much do people who perform circumcisions get paid?

$50/h plus tips

What is a nice guys' favorite cooking utensil?


*tips fedora*

Just kidding, it's his mom. He doesn't cook.

I'm having some real trouble mending my broken fence.

Can anyone here give me some tips?

I was told you guys are the best at reposting.

My buddy took a job circumcising elephants at the zoo

The money's not great but the tips are huge

My buddy performs circumcisions, and i was curious how much he got paid

"Oh we dont get paid, we just keep the tips"

*tips fedora at the First Lady*


My son said, "Thanks for giving me tips on how to be less lazy."

I said, "It's the least I could do."

I always start crying when im about to get intimate with a girl

Does anybody have a good tips against pepperspray?

Had a tricky and emotional chat with my 9-year-old son this morning. There was a lot of "Boo hoo, nobody picks me for teams" and "I haven't got any friends".

Anyway, he was very nice about it and gave me some tips for being more sociable.

*assault rifle tips fedora*


That's the last time I go to the internet for sex tips...

...I Googled 'fingering a girl guide' and got 20 years in prison.

I used to have a job circumcising elephants....

The money wasn't great but the tips were huge!

I got a job at the zoo circumcising Elephants.

The pay sucks but the tips are huge.

As a summer job I would work for the circus, my job was to circumcise the elephants...

The pay wasn't that good, but the tips were HUGE

I hated working as a valet at the anti-vaxxer convention.

all i got was bunch of measly tips!

I have a friend who circumsises elephants.

It doesn't pay much, but the tips are huge!

I suck at building fences. Anyone have any tips?

Oh. I put this post in the wrong place, didn't I?

I got a job at the zoo circumcising elephants

It doesnt pay much, but the tips are big.

How much is a circumcision

Nothing, they only accept tips

A cowboy walks into a bar and accidentally bumps shoulders with someone while walking up to the bartender

The cowboy says politely, Scuse me, sir.
The person looks over at the cowboy uncomfortably and responds, Uh, actually I'm non-binary. The cowboy tips his hat respectfully and says, Oh, pardon me M'theydy.

Did you hear the zoo is hiring someone to perform elephant circumcisions?

The pay's not great, but the tips are pretty big.

I used to work at the zoo, where my job was to circumcise Elephants.

The pay was rubbish, but the tips were huge!

*Tips fedora to cute non-binary girl*


I had an uncle who worked circumcising elephants

The pay wasn't great, but the tips were enormous!

I messaged my ex on the day before my exam.

I asked if she had any good cheating tips

A doctor once got rich when he realized he could run a lucrative circumcising clinic by

keeping all the tips

Circumcision jobs don't pay much

But you get to keep the tips

My uncle used to circumcise elephants. The pay was terrible, but...

The tips were massive.

2 tips for a happily married life....

Keep quiet when your wife is talking.

Don't talk when your wife is quiet.

Any tips on removing ice from my windshield?

I tried an old discount card, only got 20% off.

My friend once had a job circumcising elephants

Well according to him the pay was lousy but at least the tips were huge!

Two tipsy women sneak into a graveyard to pee one night.

Once done, one uses her panties to wipe with and throws them away, the other uses a ribbon from a nearby wreath.

The next day one husband called the other: "My wife came home last night without any panties!"

"That's nothing!" The other replied, "My wife had a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"

I think Unilever should print little government conspiracies on their cotton swabs.

They could call them Q tips

If anyone's got any tips on how to reverse plastic surgery

I'm all ears.

I once had a job with the zoo, circumsizing elephants.

It didn't pay very much, but the tips were humongous!

What do circumcision doctors work for?


I bought some fancy pens at a nudist art shop.

Felt tips?

No, but I cupped some balls.

I filled my car with gas the other week and it cost me $175.00

So I drove off without paying.

They took me to court and I got fined $75.00

I will be back next week with more money saving tips...

How does the person who gives circumcisions get paid?

They keep the tips

I circumcise elephants for the circus, the pay is lousy.....

But the tips are enormous.

Did you hear about the doctor who does circumcisions on commission?

He works for tips

A piano player at a bar has a monkey as a sidekick . . .

. . . who collects tips in a tin can. While the piano player was playing, the monkey squatted over a man's glass and dipped his testicles in the drink.

Infuriated, the man yells at the piano player "Do you know your monkey dipped his balls in my martini ?!!"

The piano player replies "No man, but hum a few bars and I can probably pick it up."

Russian health tips

-"For better digestion ,I drink beer, for low blood pressure I drink red wine, for high blood pressure Cognac and for colds Vodka. "
-"And what about water?"
-"I don't think I ever had such an illness...."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the tips guidance puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working tips circumcise piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes