Tipping Jokes

40 tipping jokes and hilarious tipping puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tipping that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Add some humor to your next day out with these hilarious tipping jokes! From the classic cow tipping to the hilarious fly tipping - these jokes will have the whole group in stitches! And when it comes to the footy tipping, you'll be winning handsomely! Check out some of the best tipping jokes available, and spread some laughs around.

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Funniest Tipping Short Jokes

Short tipping jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tipping humour may include short tipped jokes also.

  1. Not to brag, but I've satisfied every waitress that has ever served me. With just the tip.
  2. My buddy took a job circumcising elephants at the zoo The money's not great but the tips are huge
  3. I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . . . . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?
  4. What is Pac-Man's favorite cooking utensil? A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok
  5. I have a tip for all you lonely ladies on valentine's day.. Or you can just take the whole thing.
  6. While I was out shopping today I tipped in the store a woman saw this and wouldn't stop staring so I smiled at her and said "sorry, it's been a while since I possessed a body." She looked horrified.
  7. That rabbi's gone crazy! He's been running around a circumcising all kinds of lettuce... and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
  8. I'm having some real trouble mending my broken fence. Can anyone here give me some tips?
    I was told you guys are the best at reposting.
  9. This barista at starbucks looked so nervous as she handed me my coffee. I think she was scared because she spelt my name wrong, she wrote "callthecops".
    I didn't bother leaving a tip.
  10. I think Unilever should print little government conspiracies on their cotton swabs. They could call them Q tips

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Tipping One Liners

Which tipping one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tipping? I can suggest the ones about tipped waitress and money tip.

  1. *tips fedora at mosquito* M'laria
  2. Pro-Tip: If a girl in a hot bikini DMs you about crypto Ignore him.
  3. Pro Life Tip Don't get an abortion.
  4. My last job was circumcising elephants The pay wasn't great but the tips were huge.
  5. I just got circumcised Got any tips?
  6. I got a new job circumcizing elephants The pay isn't great but the tips are enormous
  7. I messaged my ex on the day before my exam. I asked if she had any good cheating tips
  8. I've never tried cow tipping before. How much do you usually pay them?
  9. I always cry before talking to attractive girls Any tips against pepper spray?
  10. What's the worst part about working in a glory hole? You only get paid in tips.
  11. I circumcise elephants for the circus, the pay is lousy..... But the tips are enormous.
  12. Ancient Chinese proverb: Waitress who sit on lepers lap, always keep tip.
  13. Tip: Call your baby a normal name Me: Are you still mad your parents called you tip?
  14. *Tips fedora to cute non-binary girl* m'theydy
  15. What's the quickest way to get a musician off your front porch? Tip him for the pizza.

Cow Tipping Jokes

Here is a list of funny cow tipping jokes and even better cow tipping puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • TIL cow tipping is an urban myth. Apparently, the farmers just pay them a competitive wage.
  • I've never tipped a cow. But, then again, I've never had one serve me drinks or a meal.
  • I like my waiters like I like my cows. Tipped
  • Why was the cow broke, despite being a full time waitress? Nobody tipped her.
  • Why do people tip cows? Their service isn't even that good.
  • People really should stop tipping cows. They deserve a decent hourly wage!
  • Why did the cow tip over? Excellent service.
  • Do you know the difference between cows and the waitstaff? I don't tip the waitstaff.
  • What happens to a tipped cow? They can't MOOve
  • What do you call a cow with three legs? Tri-tip.

Tipping Point Jokes

Here is a list of funny tipping point jokes and even better tipping point puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My teacher in workshop laughed when I said I could make a deadly knife out of cotton... ...After I sharpened the tip, he backed down saying, "I see you've made your point."
  • My friend told me a story about how he lost his index finger tip. It was a bit point-less.
  • It's crazy that the service industry expects 25% tips. At that point, they should just call it i**....
Tipping joke, It's crazy that the service industry expects 25% tips.

Fly Tipping Jokes

Here is a list of funny fly tipping jokes and even better fly tipping puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I was flying to America with my best mate He asked "if the plane tipped upside down, would we fall out?"
    I said, "no, we'd still be friends."
Tipping joke, I was flying to America with my best mate

Gather Around for Fun Tipping Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about tipping you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tapping jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tipping pranks.

I was out cow tipping the other day, and I pushed over the first cow, no big deal. When I went to push over the second one it went to the ground and came back up at me!

It turned its head, and said, "We bulls wobble but we don't fall down."

I went cow tipping in a m**... field

The steaks were high

Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras?

If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies.

Two guys from New York go on a cross-country trip and end up walking into a bar in Kansas.

After a few too many drinks, one of the guys asks the bartender, "Hey, can you tell us how to go cow tipping?" "I'm sorry, gentlemen. Cow tipping is simply an urban myth," the bartender explains. "The farmers actually pay them a competitive wage."

An old guy was sitting eating at a local truck stop...

when three big, burly bikers walked in. The first stubbed his cigarette out in the old guy's pie, the second walked past and spat in his coffee, and the last flipped the guy's plate over, tipping the rest of his meal everywhere.
The old guy didn't say a word. He just got up and slowly walked out of the truck stop.
"Huh" snorted the first biker. "He wasn't much of a man, was he?"
"Nope" replied their server. "He's not much of a truck driver either. He just backed up and crushed 3 motorcycles with his rig."

I was told that tipping your server is normal in America

I was told that tipping your server is normal in America
But apparently this will get you fired as a systems administrator.

Cow tipping.

If you succeed in tipping a cow only part way, such that only one of its feet is till on the ground, you have created lean beef. Such a feat is well done. Naturally, being outside, the cow is unstable. When it falls over, it becomes ground beef.

Where do one-legged waitresses work?

IHOP. Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning.

Tipping joke, Where do one-legged waitresses work?