Tipped Waitress Jokes
63 tipped waitress jokes and hilarious tipped waitress puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tipped waitress that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Tipped Waitress Short Jokes
Short tipped waitress jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tipped waitress humour may include short tipped jokes also.
- Not to brag, but I've satisfied every waitress that has ever served me. With just the tip.
- Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras? If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies.
- There are 2 astronauts in space. The first says "I can't find any milk for my coffee"
The second says "in space, no-one can. Here, use cream"
(Saying it aloud helps)
#Tip your waitresses! - You know what's unique about a lesbian waitress? Its the only time in her life she'll have to work the tip.
- I dated a waitress once. I tried putting everything into her... But she only ever wanted the tip.
- The waitress insisted that I tip her... So it's not my fault she ended up in the hospital!
- They had to stop the leprosy hockey game Due to a face-off in the corner.
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week, don't forget to tip your waitress - I hate when waitresses flirt with me.. I can't tell if they just want the tip or if they want just the tip.
- Where do one-legged waitresses work? IHOP. Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning.
- I heard a rumor that a certain 17th century metaphysical poet was cheap... But who wants to tip a waitress who insists, before one has even finished the appetizer, that he must be Donne.
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Tipped Waitress One Liners
Which tipped waitress one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tipped waitress? I can suggest the ones about blonde waitress and waitress.
- Ancient Chinese proverb: Waitress who sit on lepers lap, always keep tip.
- Make sure you tip your waitress... It's very funny when they fall over.
- I've satisfied every waitress I've met... With just the tip
- Why was the cow broke, despite being a full time waitress? Nobody tipped her.
- Why is it annoying dating a waitress? They just want the tip.
- I always tip pregnant waitresses more. It's cheaper than child support.
- What's your mom and a waitress got in common. They both like a huge tip from me
- Why do pornstars enjoy working as waitresses? Because they always get the tip
- What do a Rabbi and a Waitress have in common? They both collect tips.
- I have a thing for waitresses because they're always in it just for the tip.
- Question for Waitresses who have served a Mohel... ...Did they leave a tip?
- Why do waitresses hate weeble wobbles? Because they don't tip.
- Why do waitresses hate mohels? Because they never leave a tip.
- (Talking to waitress) I'd give you a tip But i've got my pants on.
- I tried giving a waitress a dollar tip. I didn't know that 77. cents was somehow "sexist"
Great Tipped Waitress Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about tipped waitress you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bartender tip jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tipped waitress pranks.
My t**... has been sore ever since I ate that tin of beef.
I think it felt a little horse. Thank you. Tip your waitress.
Having s**... with a waitress s**....
She only takes the tip.
What did the female waitress want from her male customer?
Just the tip.
Two opposing candidates for county office...
... happened to be sitting next to each other in the local diner.
One turned to the other and said, "You know why I'm going to win this election? Because of my 'personal touch.' For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then ask them to vote for me."
"Oh, really?" replied the other. "I always tip a nickel and ask them to vote for you."
[oc] I know a s**... desparate waitress...
One time, I gave her a $20 tip. She liked it so much that she offered to give me another $20 for the whole thing.
Did you hear about the n**... waitress?
She was sick of getting just the tip
What's the best part of being the waitress for a table of guys wearing fedoras?
They always tip m'lady
What's the similarity between American waitresses and the Jewish community?
They both believe in tip shaming.
What do you do when you have s**... with a female waitress?
You give her the tip.
I asked the waitress if she wanted a good tip and a q**....
She said: Just the tip.
I had s**... with a waitress and it was terrible.
She just wanted the tip.
What does a p**... and a waitress have in common?
The faster they work, the more tips they get!
What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?
When you get there, you turn into the driveway.
Ba-dum-b**...!
Don't forget to tip your waitress!
I didn't pay the attractive waitress at the restaurant
I only gave her the tip.
What's the difference between i**... and unlawful?
One is against the law, the other is a sick bird.
Thanks folks, tip your waitresses I'll be here all day!
Why do guys with big d**... never pay their full bill at a restaurant?
The waitress can only handle the tip.
As a boy, I used to tip cows with friends.
Now we just tip the skinny waitresses that give us b**....
Leaving a tip
A old man stops by a cafe for breakfast. After paying the tab, he checks his pockets and leaves three pennies for a tip.
As he strides toward the door, his waitress muses, only half to herself, "You know, you can tell a lot about a man by the tip he leaves".
The old man turns around, curiosity getting the better of him. "Oh, really?
Tell me, what does my tip say"?
"Well, this penny tells me you're a thrifty man".
Barely able to conceal his pride, the man utters, "Hmm, true enough".
"And this penny, it tells me you're a bachelor".
Surprised at her perception, he says, "Well, that's true, too".
"And the third penny tells me that your father was also a bachelor".
So the government shut down...
I saw my senator with a sign that said, "Will lie, cheat, and steal for food."
Or
now my senator has to lie, cheat, and steal for free.
Or
so will my senator stop lying, cheating, and stealing?
Take your pick or insert your parasite of choice. And don't forget to tip your waitresses.
A blonde girl took her first job as a waitress.
She showed up, took the first order, delivered the food, and promptly jumped up and landed next to the guest's plate.
"What are you doing?" the guest said.
She said, "Just doing my job. Now are you going to push me off?"
Angry but curious the guest said "Huh? I came here to eat and you're practically sitting on my food."
The blonde looked at his arms and said, "Silly, stop playing. I know you're strong enough. My Dad said I should just wait on tables until I get a good tip."
What does a waitress want during s**... ?
The tip
How do lepers treat h**... like waitresses?
They always leave a tip
A waitress at a diner gives a man his check.
As he gets up to leave, he puts down the amount for the check plus three cents for the tip. The waitress notices this and approaches him before he leaves.
Waitress: You know, I can tell a lot about a person by each of the coins that are left.
Man: Okay, what do these pennies tell you about me?
Waitress: This first one tells me that you are very thrifty.
Man: Hmm. Yes, that's true. Go on.
Waitress: This second one tells me that you are not married.
Man: Yes, that's true too.
Waitress: And this last one tells me that your mother wasn't married either.