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Tiny Jokes

153 tiny jokes and hilarious tiny puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tiny that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article delves into the world of tiny jokes, exploring the hilarity of jokes involving tiny things such as tiny houses, tiny hands, tiny feet, tiny cars, tiny homes, tiny dogs, tiny towers, Justin, teeny, and small. Read on to find out more and to have a laugh!

Funniest Tiny Short Jokes

Short tiny jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tiny humour may include short thin jokes also.

  1. How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It takes two, very tiny people, to screw, in a lightbulb.
  2. A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. He asks for a coke and a mango juice for his newt Tiny.
    The bartender asks Why is he called Tiny?
    And the man replies Because he's my newt!
  3. My friends and I started a business where we weigh tiny items It's a small scale operation
  4. My wife asked me "Are you sometimes surprised at how little people change ?" I said, "The process is the same. They just have tiny clothes"
  5. My wife asked me, Are you sometimes surprised at how little people change? I said, Actually the process is the same. They just have tiny clothes.
  6. My friends and I just started a business where we weigh tiny objects. It's a small scale operation.
  7. I have a shirt with 120 tiny pockets that fit exactly one mint each.... It's my Tic Tactical vest.
  8. I've always wondered what mothballs smelled like. But I could never get their tiny legs apart to find out.
  9. Man walks into a bar with a salamander. The bartender says, "Nice lizard. What's its name?"
    "I call him Tiny because he's my newt."
  10. I have a pet newt that I named tiny. My friend asked me why tiny. I told him it was because he was my newt.

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Tiny One Liners

Which tiny one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tiny? I can suggest the ones about little thing and minor.

  1. is my wife ashamed of my body? a tiny part of me says yes.
  2. I got a pet newt, and I named him Tiny Because he's my newt
  3. Is my girlfriend disappointed in my body? A tiny part of me says 'yes'.
  4. I have to ask myself, is my wife unsatisfied? a tiny part of me says yes
  5. I have a pet newt. His name is Tiny. Know why he's named Tiny? …because he's my newt.
  6. Did my wife leave me because I was bad in bed? A tiny part of me says yes.
  7. What do you call it when cats rebel? Mew-tiny!
  8. My singing voice sounds bad in my tiny apartment. It's a little flat.
  9. How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan? You take away its tiny brooms.
  10. Is my wife dissatisfied with me? A tiny part of me says yes..
  11. What do you call a tiny mother? A minimum.
  12. Have you ever smelled mothballs? How did you get their tiny legs apart?
  13. "I have a newt named Tiny." "Why do you call it Tiny?"
    "Because it's my newt."
  14. Why can't ants catch Covid-19? Because they have tiny anty-bodies
  15. A joke from my very proud wife: what do you call a tiny axolotl? "An axolitl!!"

Tiny Hand Jokes

Here is a list of funny tiny hand jokes and even better tiny hand puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • TIL people with tiny hands can't use an oven or a range... They can only microwave.
  • If you have a tiny green ball in one hand, and a tiny green ball in the other, what do you have? The undivided attention of a leprechaun.
  • Did you hear that Trump Tower is being remodeled to add a clock that resembles Big Ben I've heard people complain that it has tiny hands.
  • What do the Khaleesi and Donald Trump have in common? A tiny hand.
  • I think I'll wait for the follow up IPhone. The IPhone XS sounds perfect for my tiny hands.
  • What do you say to a fascist oompa loompa with tiny hands? "It was nice meeting you, Mr President."
  • My doctor asked for a stool sample.... ...and got mad at me when I handed him a tiny chair. Now I'm banned from the doctors office and still don't know why I'm p**... out furniture.
  • Why do all dads have huge d**...? Because the kids have tiny hands.

Tiny Home Jokes

Here is a list of funny tiny home jokes and even better tiny home puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I met a tiny, alien robot that looked like a small bug. He told me his friends escaped their home planet, and found a home here. He was confident that his race would be OK. He was Optimus Tick
  • In the wake of Hurricane Florence, residents of North Carolina are returning home to deal with flood damage, mold, and apparently with the arrival of the President... Tiny mushrooms.
Tiny joke, In the wake of Hurricane Florence, residents of North Carolina are returning home to deal with flood

Tiny House Jokes

Here is a list of funny tiny house jokes and even better tiny house puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I met the most interesting eel the other day. His name was Oscar Neale and he lived in a tiny wooden house. They called him "Shack Eel O. Neale"
  • Why do guys by tiny houses? To make their decks look bigger.
  • So the Middle Eastern restaurant near my house has been selling baby meat I regret ordering the 'pita platter of tiny feet'

Tiny Car Jokes

Here is a list of funny tiny car jokes and even better tiny car puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do Mexicans always install those tiny steering wheels in their cars? So they can drive with the handcuffs on.
  • What do you call someone who fixes tiny cars? A quantum mechanic
  • I like when flies won't leave my car on long road trips. Have fun moving to Kansas, you tiny idiot.
  • I was talking to a British man who told me he bought a tiny car for his t**... I asked him why he would do that?
    He said "it drives me nuts!"

Tiny Feet Jokes

Here is a list of funny tiny feet jokes and even better tiny feet puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I hate hipsters Their vegan diets, whiskery faces, tiny feet, and sawdust bedding. Oh wait, hamsters, I hate hamsters
Tiny joke, I hate hipsters

Gather Around for Heartwarming Tiny Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about tiny you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mini jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tiny pranks.

So..the wife and I were in town shopping....

..and as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. One of them, a tall blonde, had really fantastic, long, toned and tanned legs.
I gently nudged my wife and said "I bet you wish you still had legs like that!".
She got really upset with me..in fact I could still hear her sobbing as I wheeled her up the ramp into the next store.

I was on vacation in Tahiti and decide to go for a one day boat trip

The skipper was sailing along islands when I saw on a really tiny one a man with a long beard, torn-down clothes and no shoes waving at us, screaming. He was very, very far and I didn't understand a word he was saying. I asked the skipper:
- Who is this guy?
- Dunno, he have been there for six months, waves at me every day.

Returning on Investment

After being away on buisness, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.
"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15 bottle.
"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."
The clerk handed him a mirror.

This guy walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder...

and the bartender says, that's a pretty cool lizard, what's his name?
The guy says, "Tiny, because he's minute"

Why is it a bad idea to wear tiny shorts on a ukranian holiday?

Chernobyl fallout.

You remind me of my little toe

Why because I'm so cute and tiny?
No, I will probably get drunk later and bang you the coffee table.

A man was hiking in a forest when he sees a big post...

"this is the gaymen forest".. he thinks it's a joke and moves on. As he walks, he sees more and more posts that say "this is the gaymen forest" and that get smaller and smaller. At a certain point, he sees a tiny post, close to the ground. He bends over to read it and sees "It's too late now, buddy! Told ya !"

Have you ever seen mothballs?

How'd you get their tiny legs open?

So, this guy walks into a bar with a Newt on his shoulder

The bartender says "that's a weird pet what's his name?"
The guy responds, "oh, his name is Tiny."

The bartender then asks "Well that's a weird name, why do you call him that?"
And the guys answers "because he's mynewt!"

What does a blind person say when you give them sandpaper?

"Well that's really tiny writing!"

Which kind of sharply dressed, tiny dwarves make the best drummers?

metro gnomes

Did you hear the one about the tiny prisoner who went down the stairs?

It's a little condescending. ;)

A cruise ship passed a tiny, isolated island.

Everyone on board could see a bearded man on the island, shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is that man?" a passenger asked the ship's captain. "Why is he so upset?"
"I have no idea," said the Captain, "but every year when we pass by here, he goes nuts."

A woman walks into a bar...

A woman walks into a bar with her pet newt on her shoulder. She sits down on a stool and orders a beer. The barman looks at the woman and her newt and asks her, "What's his name?"
"Tiny." The woman replies.
"Why tiny?" The barman inquires.
"Because he's my newt."

I've just taken my sausages back to the butchers...

There was only a tiny bit of pork in the middle, the left and right sides were just pure breadcrumbs.
The butcher apologised and said that he was suffering financially, business was tough and he was finding it increasingly difficult to make ends meat.

I went to the library and asked if they had the book about tiny p**......

The librarian said, "I don't think it's in yet."

I said, "Yes, that's the one."

My friend took his grandmother to one of those health spas where tiny fish eat all the dead skin...

It cost him $300, but it was a lot cheaper than a f**......

My 8 year old brother came up to me and asked if I wanted to hear a joke, this is how it went

Bro," what washes up on a tiny beach?"
Me," No idea."
Bro," a microwave."
Followed by about 2 seconds of me not getting it then laughing for a solid minute

What do you call a Pokémon with a tiny head?

Zikachu

What spice does a tiny doggo like on its steak?

Puppercorn.

A woman found a magic lamp on the beach, rubbed it, and out popped a genie.

"Ask me anything and it's yours!" She thought a moment and then answered, "I want my husband to pay more attention to me, to protect me, to take me out frequently, to sleep close to me, and to be more caring, even if I get a tiny scratch." "No problem." And p**...! She was a smartphone!

A rather drunk fellow on a bus was tearing up a newspaper into tiny pieces and throwing them out the window.

'Excuse me,' said the woman sitting next to him. "But, would you mind explaining why you're doing this?
"It scares away the elephants,' replied the drunk. "But I don't see any elephants around here,' said the woman
"Effective, isn't it?" crowed the drunk.

Why can't a Blonde make Kool-Aid??

She can't fit the two cups of water into the tiny packet.

How many s**... addicts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but they'd have to be really tiny.

A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder...

The bartender says "What a strange pet, what's his name?"
"Tiny." the man replies.
"What an odd name, why do you call him tiny?"
"Because he's my newt."

An engineer, a mathmetician, and a physicist are hired by a farmer to build the smallest fence possible to hold all his sheep.

The physicist makes a large fence and gradually shrinks it over and over until he cannot shrink it any further.
The engineer stacks all the sheep in a specific way and builds a small fence around them.
The mathmetician builds a tiny fence around himself and then defines himself as outside the fence.

I might seem perfect...

I know that I might seem perfect, but one of my legs is actually a tiny bit shorter than the other two.

Every 4th of July, America sends Britain a locket with a little tiny picture of the United States in it. They want to remind the crown that America is still...

(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
In *da* pendent

My girlfriend and I are both feminists.

But because I am a man, I am a tiny bit better at it than her.

Peanut allergy

We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like my parents are totally overreacting -- they caught me eating a tiny little bag of airline peanuts and they kicked me out of his f**....

In my credit card statement there was an extra 6**...$ charge written in tiny fonts ...

As usual, the devil is in the details ...

I got so angry with poachers illegally killing dolphins that I began randomly implanting some with tiny bombs.

But it just ended up defeating the porpoise.

Two Squirrels GO Camping

They set up a tiny tent and make a tiny campfire. Then, one squirrel pulls out a frying pan and begins to pan fry some twigs. The other squirrel snatches it from his hand and says,
"Are you NUTS?!? This is a non-stick pan!"

A salesman approaches you

Thanks, but I'm not interested in microscopes right now.
Salesman: That's okay, take my business card anyway.
This text is tiny, I can't read it.
Salesman: Boy, do I have the product for you

A physicist, an engineer and a mathematician are given the task to contain the largest amount of area with a limited amount of fence.

The physicist designs a square fence, showing that a square contains the most area.
The Engineer then designs a circular fence, showing that the area to circumference ratio is better than a square.
The mathematician think for a moment, then starts building a tiny fence around himself. When he's done, he says "I define myself to be the outside.

Little Nancy, 8, was filling a hole in her garden when

the nosey neighbor peered over the fence, and asked "What are you doing?"
Nancy replied, "Well my goldfish dies so I just buried him"
The obnoxious neighbor laughed and said in a condescending tone, "That is an awful big hole for a tiny gold fish"
As Nancy used her shovel to pat down the last heap of earth she replied, "Well he's in your cat"

A man walks into a bar, with a newt on his shoulder.

He passes the night trying to chat up every girl he sees, but sadly to no avail, since everyone is wierded out by his newt.
Finally, he sees a beautiful girl and strikes up a conversation with her. After a few moments of talking, she questions him about the newt.
"What's his name?" The girl ask him.
"Tiny" the man responds.
"Oh whys he named that?" The girl questions.
"Because he's my newt"

The tiny door to the magic castle was barely big enough to crawl through. It was carved with a half-lion, half-eagle, and guarded by a fearsome raven that would only allow you to pass if you breathed on its foot...

So basically you had to huff n puff on the raven claw then slither in the griffon door.

Last week I took my grandma to the spa

For 20 bucks they have this tiny fish that eat off your dead cells. It was way cheaper than f**...

What do a midget albino and a tiny bucket have in common?

They are both a little pale.

I came home with a salamander on my shoulder and my son, all excited, shouted, "What's his name!?

Smiling, I replied, Tiny!"
My kid laughed and asked, What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?
I explained, Because...he's my newt!"

Watching gymnastics

*gymnast does a double-triple-super-ultra-backflip-frontflip but takes a tiny step when she lands*
Me : *mouthful of pringles* what a loser

I like my women like I like my m**......

Chopped into tiny pieces and burned to ashes without the police ever finding out.

We live on a tiny, useless ball of rocks and water, floating through the vast expanse of outer space

But it means the world to us.

What do you call a tiny Jewish knight?

Sir c**...-Sized

What's ET short for?

Cuz he's only got tiny legs

A little girl asks her mum

A little girl asks her mum "mummy, how was I born" Her mother smiled and replied "once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful tiny seed. Your daddy planted it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. After a while the seed germinated and grew tall with many leaves until it became a lovely healthy plant. Then we dried it and smoked it and got so high we forgot to use a c**..."

My friend called me in a panic and shouted, An evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don't know what to do! Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...

...he's really a big lyre.

A young couple get married and have their first night together in their new home.

As they are u**... for bed, the husband hands the wife his pants.
"Here, try these on," he says.
"What? Why?" she says.
"Just put them on," he insists.
"They're way too big," she says. "I can't wear those."
"That's right," he says. "I wear the pants in this marriage. Don't you forget it."
"Got it," she says, slipping off her p**... and handing them to him. "Here, try these on."
He holds them up and sees how tiny they are.
"Are you kidding?" he says. "I can't get into your p**...!"
"That's right. And that's the way it's going to stay until your attitude changes."

Have you ever smelled moth b**...?

How do you keep their tiny little legs apart?

A teacher is teaching a 5th grade class on Zoom.

The teacher says to Susie, "Tell the class why you want to be a teacher."
Susie says, "Actually, I want to be a stripper."
The teacher asks, "A stripper? I thought you wanted to do my noble profession."
Susie says, "That was before I saw your tiny apartment."

I walked into a bar with lizard on my shoulder.

I said "One pint for me and one for my mate Tiny"
The bartender said, "Why do you call him tiny"
I said, "He's my newt."

A man walks into a tiny hardware store

looking for something to rid of a wasp problem. After 10 mins of walking around the store all he can find is ant spray. So he goes up to the counter and asks the clerk, Is this any good for wasps? Without a word, the clerk takes the can from his hands, reads the back for ingredients. No. he replied, That'll kill them.

I got sprayed in the chest by a skunk so I had my tiny therapist wash my clothes for me.

My shrunk shrink stopped my shirt's skunk stink.

Why do the French eat tiny omelettes?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Can I have a free drink if I show you something amazing?"

The bartender agrees so he pulls out a tiny piano, a frog and a hamster. The hamster starts playing the piano and the frog starts singing Adele. As the bartender gets him his drink a punter asks him "how much for the singing frog?" The man replies "I'll sell him for £100 if you want?" And the punter agrees. The bartender sees this and says to the man " WHAT?! You could have made millions off that Why'd you sell him so cheap?" And the man says "no, it's okay... The hamsters a ventriloquist"

Step One. Implant a tiny bomb in your head and prepare the detonation button.

What happens next will blow your mind.

Why is Texas like the Titanic

They both thought they were amazing until a tiny bit of frozen water broken them in half

Sometimes, I wonder to myself if my wife hates my body.

A tiny part of me thinks "Yes!"

A wife woke up one morning after a long restful sleep......

She stretches, and turns to her husband and says, you know, I had the weirdest dream! I dreamt that you gave me a diamond necklace! What do you think my dream means?
The husband thoughtfully responds well, you'll know tonight!
Later that evening, the husband comes home with a tiny package for his wife. Here darling, for you! he says. Excited, the wife opens the package to see what it was.
She pulls out a book called Dream Interpretations and Meanings .

I had a pet newt once. I called him Tiny.

Because he was mynewt.

Tiny joke, I had a pet newt once. I called him Tiny.

jokes about tiny