Tin Jokes
101 tin jokes and hilarious tin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Find out why tin is so much more than the humble biscuit tin! Tin takes many forms- from rin tin tin to a tin man - and contains varied sustenance and useful items like tin foil and a tin whistle, plus a few unexpected items like mints and copper. Without tin, our lives would be very different.
Quick Jump To
- Short Tin Jokes
- Tin One Liners
- Tin Can Jokes
- Tin Man Jokes
- Poo Tin Jokes
- Tin Foil Jokes
- Biscuit Tin Jokes
- More Tin Jokes
Funniest Tin Short Jokes
Short tin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tin humour may include short mint jokes also.
- Why does the government use microwave to spy on you? Because it's the one place you can't put tin foil.
- I got $20 from a blind homeless man on the street today! He had this tin can full of money, and was just holding it in front of my face. What a friendly guy.
- Saw a homeless man eating a tin of baked beans and I thought it was really sad, so I walked over to him and said... "I think you're supposed to open that first"
- I wanted to see if I could become invisible to others So I stood in the doorway of a supermarket holding a charity tin.
- If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's spam.
- I had a wooden whistle... And it wooden whistle. So, I got a steel whistle and it steel wooden whistle. Finally I got a tin whistle, now I tin whistle.
- Just bought some extra strong beer. On the tin it says 'Please drink responsibly' Well I've got my seat belt on...
- Instead of Traveling to Oz, the Tin Man, the Lion, and The scarecrow should run for Congress As they lack a heart, mind, and courage
- I looked at the bottom of a tuna tin and it said: "Best Before Date" I thought, "No, it isn't."
- My mom bought me tin soldiers but I lost all the generals and smashed the lieutenants and sergeants Now I just play with my privates.
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Tin One Liners
Which tin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tin? I can suggest the ones about copper and aluminum.
- What's the most capable element? Tin, because tin can.
- Can a match box no, but a tin can ;)
- What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? * Curses! Foil again! *
- Can a cigar box? No, but a tin can.
- If you get an email from me about tinned ham, delete it. It's spam.
- Can a shoe box? No, but a tin can.
- What did the tropical flowers say to the biscuit tin? *"Hibiscus!"*
- What did the tin man say after he was ran over by a steamroller? "Curses! Foil again!"
- Just made up a 100-year-old joke: What do you call a metal dog?
>!Rin Tin Tin!< - Have you seen my impression of a tin opener? It's uncanny.
- I bought a tin of evaporated milk the other day when I opened it, it was empty.
- Copper and Tin joined the Olympics the other day Sadly they both tied on Bronze
- What do cannibals call a nice tinned meat? Canadian.
- What nationality is a happy tin? American.
- How to transform a tin can into a glass container. Leave it ajar.
Tin Can Jokes
Here is a list of funny tin can jokes and even better tin can puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My dad found an Altoid tin in his attic and told me it was worth over $400. He said it was worth so much because it was in mint condition.
- My son found a 5 year old tin of mints I told him we mint to save them. He fired right back that they are in mint condition. (I'm so proud!)
- I had a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle, and it steel wooden whistle.
But then I bought a tin whistle, and now I tin whistle! - I was out one morning with my Uncle Jim When someone threw a tomato at him
"Tomatoes don't hurt!" Shouted Uncle Jim
The next one did, it came in a tin - A thief stole a leaky tin of paint and is well hidden in the mall... The police found him by following the blueprints.
- What does a wife and a tin roof have in common? You better nail both of 'em good or they'll end up at the neighbor's house.
- Two kittens are sitting on a sloped tin roof and start to slide down at the same time. Which kitten falls off the roof first? The one with the smaller μ (pronounced mew).
- When people find out I work in a food tinning factory they always doubt my ability to do my job. But I can.
- What's the similarity between your wife and a tin roof in a hurricane? If you didn't nail them properly they'll go see your neighbor
- Scientists say that while silicon, germanium, tin, and especially lead lifeforms are very unlikely... But the kids In Flint, Michigan prove otherwise!
Tin Man Jokes
Here is a list of funny tin man jokes and even better tin man puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A man in the south of France today was surprised when he opened a tin of locally sourced duck when it started dancing His canned Cannes canard can can-can!
- How does the tin man apologize for being bad in bed? It's been a long time, so I'm sorry if I'm rusty.
- I heard the tin man joined a gym. He has washboard abs now.
- Why does the tin man's wife have so much lead in her? She solder soul to the devil.
- The Tin Man was just ousted out of the Portland Water Bureau; he's suspected of corrosion.
Poo Tin Jokes
Here is a list of funny poo tin jokes and even better poo tin puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does the president of Russia call his toilet? Vladimir's p**... Tin
- What do you call a chamber p**... in Russia? A p**...-tin
- What do they call a bedpan in Russia? A p**... tin.
- What do you call a Russian bedpan? A p**...-Tin
- Where do Russians keep their stool sample for the doctor? In a p**...-tin!
- What do you call a metallic Russian chamber p**...? Vladimir p**...-tin.
- What does Donald Trump get on his nose after a**...-kissing? p**...-tin
Tin Foil Jokes
Here is a list of funny tin foil jokes and even better tin foil puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do some conspiracy weirdos wear tin foil hats with four holes in it? To make sure 5G radiation can't get through.
- Why can't the evil elements Tin and Aluminum take over the world? Because their plans are always foiled!
- What's the difference between people and tin foil? Tin foil doesn't wrinkle as it oldens.
- Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum.
Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
Biscuit Tin Jokes
Here is a list of funny biscuit tin jokes and even better biscuit tin puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the loudest noise in the world? A skeleton m**... in a biscuit tin
Laughter Tin Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about tin you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tin man jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tin pranks.
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...
I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"
Two friends are arguing...
"Look, I have a colony of ants!"
"Well, I have taller ants than you"
"Oh, well I have a tube of glue"
"Hah, I have an entire tin"
"I got bread!"
"Argh, you win! I can't handle that bread with my glue tin 'n' taller ants"
I bought a wooden whistle
but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle,
but it steel wooden whistle.
So I bought a lead whistle,
but it steel wooden lead me whistle.
So I bought a copper whistle,
but the copper steel wooden lead me whistle.
So I bought a tin whistle,
now I can whistle.
I bought a wooden whistle
...but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle. And it steel wooden whistle.
Then I bought a lead whistle. It steel wooden lead me whistle.
Finally, I bought a tin whistle. Now I can whistle.
Two men are lost in the desert
Two men are lost in the desert. They are both severely dehydrated and extremely hungry. While stumbling over a particularly large sand dune, one man spots a tin of fig-flavored altoids.
Desperate for any sustenance, he stumbles ahead and grabs the tin, but realizes it was only a mirage.
He turned to the man behind him and said, "I guess it was just a fig mint of my imagination."
Dad joke heard at the beach
Recently, I was on vacation and at a beach and a father and his kids were playing catch in the water next to me.
This kid who had to be about six or seven yells out, "dad, I'm going to try some trash talk. Ready? Your skills are as rusty as a tin can! Get it dad? *trash* talk?"
I was dying. That kid is going to make a great dad.
A boy returns home from running an errand for his quarantined grandfather.
He says, "Grandpa, I got all the groceries you wanted! All together, it came to $47.22. Here's your change."
Grandpa says, "My goodness, the world is expensive nowadays. When I was a boy your age, I could get five pounds of potatoes, three loaves of bread, two pounds of beef, a jug of milk, a tin of tobacco for my dad, and a handful of my favorite candies, all for about five cents.
"Can't do that today, though. No sir-ee Bob."
"Why is that, grandpa?" asks the boy.
"Too many f**...' cameras."
A man walked into a Walgreens and asked where the tampons were.
Cashier: "Aisle 5."
Minutes later the man returned with a bag of cotton b**... and some string.
Cashier: "I thought you were buying tampons."
Man: "I was, and then I got to thinking about something. The other day I asked my wife to pick me up some cigarettes while she was out, and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers. Her reasoning was that it was just SOOO MUCH CHEAPER. So the way I figure it, if I have to roll my own, then so does she."
A piano player at a bar has a monkey as a sidekick . . .
. . . who collects tips in a tin can. While the piano player was playing, the monkey squatted over a man's glass and dipped his t**... in the drink.
Infuriated, the man yells at the piano player "Do you know your monkey dipped his b**... in my martini ?!!"
The piano player replies "No man, but hum a few bars and I can probably pick it up."
My nephew came to me with a look of pride on his face.
He said uncle, uncle look what I made it's a telephone. He proceeded to show me two tin cans tied together with string.
I pulled out my iPhone and said: this is what kids your age make in China.
Two men are sitting at a table.
o**... says, "I have ants"
The second guy replies, "Yeah, but my ants are taller than yours."
So the first guy now says 'Well, I have a tube of glue!",
To which the second guy replies, "And... I have an entire tin of it."
Finally, the first guy says "I have bread."
Unable to beat the first guy any longer, the second guy says "I can't handle that with my glue tin 'n taller ants."
So my mom got me a box of tin soldiers...
I smashed up my majors and tore down my generals. The dog ate my lieutenants and I lost the colonel. The sergeants were lost in uncle John's hay so now I'm stuck playing with my privates all day.
Bad taste
"If you'd had a tin of shoe polish, you could have blackened her up and got away with it," I said to Oscar Pistorius, laughing.
Then I realised that was in bad taste. Why would he have a tin of shoe polish?
A women is in court for shoplifting a tin of peaches
The Judge says, you are a persistent offender, I've decided I'm going to make an example of you, I'm going to open a tin of peaches and for every peach I count, you will get a month in jail.
He counts 7 peaches, sentences her to 7 months inside and asks for her to be taken down.
As she walks past the gallery her husband, who is not happy with the sentence, shouts at the Judge "SHE HAD TWO TINS OF PEAS AS WELL"
Two friends were comparing their belongings
The first guy goes: 'i have ants'
The second guy : 'well i have taller ants'
The first guy : 'well i got a tube of glue'
The second guy : 'and i have an entire tin of it'
The first guy: 'i got bread as well'
The second guy: 'ugh you win, i can't handle that with my glue tin 'n taller ants.'
A woman in court for stealing a tin of peaches....
The judge asked her "how many peaches were there in the tin that you stole"?
She replied "four, your honour".
The judge said I am going to send you to prison for four month's for every peach, take her down.
Then her husband in the public gallery shouted "she stole a tin of peas too".....
A woman was before a Judge for steeling a can of peaches.
**Judge:** "How many peaches were in the tin?"
**Woman:** "4 your honour."
**Judge:** "Very well you will serve a month in prison for each peach inside that tin."
From the back of the courtroom the woman's husband chimes up
**Husband:** "She stole a can of peas too."
a Russian man goes to a job interview
A Russian man that has been recently fired from his accountant job goes to a job interview for a new law firm in Moscow. During the interview the man that has been reading his resume exclaims excited "sir, you have a brilliant record!" and the accountant responds "I now, I wrote it in tin foil paper"
A bomb was found in a tin of Alphabet Spaghetti at Wal-Mart today.
A spokesman told the press"We're lucky we found it when we did. If that had gone off it could have spelt disaster."
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
What material should you never use to create or build with?
Tin that was mined by moles. Anything you make with it melts immediately.
I went into my local shop and said to the guy "give me a large tin of beans or else"
He said "or else what"
I said "or else two little tins"
One time my ex looked into a tin of Altoids
It was ex sight mint!
