Time Travel Jokes

124 time travel jokes and hilarious time travel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about time travel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Time Travel Short Jokes

Short time travel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The time travel humour may include short back to the future jokes also.

  1. The bartender says "No time travelers allowed in this bar" Two time travelers walk into a bar
  2. A Russian Tourist Travels Abroad. Border guard: Nationality?
    tourist: Russian.
    Border guard: Occupation?
    Tourist: No, no, just visiting this time.
  3. The punchline comes before the joke You know what the worst thing about time travel jokes is?
  4. You know the punchline before you're ever told the joke. What's the worst part about time traveling jokes?
  5. The barman says, We don't serve time travelers in here. A time traveler walks into a bar.
  6. Time traveller walks into a bar Bartender says, we don't serve time travellers here.
    Time traveller responds, since when?
  7. With the punchline first. How did the time traveler tell his jokes?
    (I'm sorry, it was just so easy!)
  8. Muslim scientists.. Muslim scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the dark ages.
    They're calling it 'Islam'.
  9. ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.
  10. A bartender said "Sorry, we don't serve time travellers". Two time travellers walk into a bar

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Time Travel One Liners

Which time travel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with time travel? I can suggest the ones about time keeping and time flies.

  1. The bartender said we don't serve time travellers. Two men walk into a bar.
  2. Because the punchline gets spoiled early. Why is this time travel joke not funny?
  3. I wanted to make a joke about time travel... ...but you guys didn't like it.
  4. I was going to tell you all a joke about time travel. Unfortunately none of you liked it.
  5. If I Cuold Time Travel I would fix the title.
  6. So I thought I would share a time travel joke with you guys.. But you didn't like it.
  7. The barman said "we don't serve time travelers here" I walk into a bar.
  8. and asks for a drink. A time traveller walks into a bar
  9. The punchline comes first. How can you be sure that a comedian has traveled back in time?
  10. The time traveler was still hungry after his last bite So he went back four seconds.
  11. What does a time traveler do when he's hungry? He goes back 4 seconds.
  12. One How many time travellers does it take to change a light bulb?
  13. If Marty McFly isn't the most famous time traveler, then Who is.
  14. He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey. A time traveler walks into a bar.
  15. I was gonna tell you all a time travelling joke... ...but you guys didn't like it.

Cheeky Time Travel Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about time travel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean time change jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make time travel pranks.

Time traveler talks to a mathematician

The time traveler says, "Hello, in my grad school I have learned that it is impossible for any number which is a power greater than the second to be written as the sum of two like powers such as x^n + y^n = z^n for n > 2."
"Show me how you proved it," the mathematician says.
"Indeed! I studied it for my thesis."
The time traveler, then, goes on with his proof.
"Thank you, traveler, I wanted to take notes but right now I only have this book with a tiny margin."

A time traveler meets Adolf h**... in a bar

Instead of trying to kill him and mess up the timeline he instead sits down to have a drink with h**....
The time traveler looked at h**... and asked So how are you doing?
Pretty terrible, I just got kicked out of art school.
Well that s**..., you'll probably land on your feet though.
Yea you're right, but you want to know what I hate?
Let me guess, Jews?
Well, now that you mention it…

A time traveler has traveled back in time to the year 1963.

However, he does not know the exact date.
He sees a CIA agent nearby and asks him:
"Is today before or after the JF-"

In the old West, a lantern was often mounted on a horse for night time travel....

It was thought to be the first generation of 'Saddle-Light-Navigation'.

A time traveler tries to go back to the 1980's

But when he gets there, he sees a very old man wearing a toga.
Confused, he asks the man what if it's 1980. The man replies "Of course it's 19AD!"
I just came up with this joke, so feel free to modify it, because as we can all see, I s**... at making jokes :)

Yes, it is.

Is time travel possible?

Now! What do we want?

Time traveller jokes.
When do we want them?

I invented time travel and killed my grandfather to see if I wouldn't be born

It's the worst way to get to know I'm adopted..

"What do we want!?" "TIME TRAVEL!!"

"When do we want it?!"

What do you call a time traveler who m**... in the future?

A blast from the past.

A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink.

A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink. "Having a bad day?", the barkeep asks. "I guess you could say so. I just accidently time travelled back into the 20th century." "Really? What did you change?" "Oh heavens, nothing! I just went straight back to the present. Do you know how dangerous time travel is? Who knows what I might have changed if I hadn't been so careful. I might have caused a second world war."

The bartender says, "We dont' serve time travellers in here."

A time traveller walks into a bar.

A time traveler went back in time and saw a CIA agent

Time traveler: What year is it?
CIA Agent: 1963
Time traveler: Before or after JFK wa...
CIA Agent: Before

I've started a time travellers club

The first meeting will be yesterday at 5pm

A Bartender Says, "We Don't Serve Time Travelers"

A time traveler enters the bar.

I have a really good time travel joke

... but you guys didn't really like it..

What did the time traveler do when he was still hungry after his meal?

He went back for seconds.

I have a joke on time travel.

But I won't post it here. You guys didn't like it.

The bar tender said sorry we don't serve time travelers here …

A time traveler walked into a bar.

Just one, but be careful, or this could get weird

How many time travelers does it take to change a light bulb?

What does a time traveler do when he wanted more dessert?

He goes back for seconds

I was gonna tell a time traveling joke

But you guys didn't like it

The Bartender said: "Sorry we dont allow time travelers here"

A time traveler walks into a bar

Time travel is possible!

The United States just traveled back 50 years!

How i out dad joked my dad...

So the preview for some time traveling movie comes on tv and my dad goes "if you ever find a time machine remember not to use it," somehow thinking it's funny.
I'm ashamed to say the first thing out of my mouth was "seems like a great way to pass the time."

But you already know the punchline!

I have a joke about time travel…

Did you know Jeffrey d**... was a time traveler?

He was eating Five Guys before it was a thing.

I've just time travelled from next week to tell you who won the election

It was the rich, old white guy

What do we want?

When do we want it?

Why can cutlery teleport but not time travel?

It's silverwhere, not silverwhen.

But the time traveler didn't get hired

A time traveler went to an interview to get a job . . .

I had a great time travel joke to tell you guys.

But it turned out that none of you liked it.

The bartender says, We don't serve time travelers in here.

"Since when?"
"The policy went into effect a year ago."
"OK, be right back"

I was once addicted to time travel

But that's all in the past now

I was going to tell you guys a joke about time travel...

...but you didn't like it.

The true reason that the Titanic sank...

The combined weight of all the time travelers that suddenly appeared onboard.

I used to be addicted to time travel.

But that's all in the past now.

From behind the counter, the bartender says: "we don't serve time travelers here".

A time traveler walks into a bar.

So a time traveler meets George W Bush...

Time Traveler: "What year is it?"
George Bush: "2001"
TT: "Before or after the 9/11 t**... attack?"
GB: "Before"

I was going to tell you a time travelling joke

But you didn't laugh.

I wish that I could finish my time travel project

And I also wish that I would stop bugging me yesterday while I'm working on it

The two happiest days in a time traveler's life:

The day they complete their time machine and the day they stop themself from completing their time machine.

His punchlines are before his questions.

How do you spot a time traveler?

The punchline comes before the joke

What is the most annoying thing about a time travel joke?

Police arrested a time traveler from 2018

He still can't believe that he was arrested for **not** wearing a mask in a bank.

The punchline comes before the joke

Wanna know what's the worst part about time travel jokes?

I used to time travel a lot...

But thats all in the past now.

I was going to post a time travel joke

But you didn't like it

We don't serve time travelers here

A time traveler walks into a bar

Have you heard of the upcoming movie where a time traveller gets transformed into a chicken?

It's called Bawk to the Future.

And the bartender says we don't serve your kind in here"

A time traveler walks into a bar

Nobody showed up for my Time Traveler-themed New Year's party

I guess I shouldn't bother with sending the invitations next week after all.

Making sure the punchline appears after the set up.

What's the key to a good time travel joke?

I have a joke for time travel but...

you guys didn't like it.

You'll be disappointed.

Wanna hear a bad time travel joke?

You already know the punchline.

What is the worst part about time travelling jokes?

The bartender said, "Haven't you been here before?"

A time traveler walked into a bar.

What is a time travelling vacuum cleaner called?

Dr Whoover

Time Travel

Right now!
What do we want? More time travel jokes! When do we want them?

This guy asked me if I was a time traveler

I said, not right now.

Just watched a movie where a mad scientist rigs a DeLorean to time travel and he paints everything purple, it's called...

"Back to the Fuschia"

jokes about time travel