Time Of The Month Jokes
52 time of the month jokes and hilarious time of the month puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about time of the month that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Time Of The Month Short Jokes
Short time of the month jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The time of the month humour may include short that time of the month jokes also.
- 4th of July, The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.
- Fourth of July, The only time of the year an American can say the day and month in the correct order.
- Did you hear about the guy who spent six months making a belt out of watches? He said it was a waist of time.
(as told to me last night by my 10 year old). - I asked my boss if I could have time off work because I was having a baby When I came back the boss asked So was it a boy or a girl?
I said I don't know, I'll tell you in 9 months - Why don't trucking companies like to hire women? Every time you give them a load, it takes them 9 months to deliver.
- This is an awfully hard time for me financially. Last month I was unable to pay the bills to my exorcist and as a consequence I have been repossessed.
- Seeing my ex for the first time in months left me with just one thought... I wish the neighbour's dog would stop digging up my garden…
- What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See you the same time next month.
- I'm just okay during Pride Month. But just wait until sloth Month. Or Gluttony Month. That's my time to shine.
- My overweight uncle spend months making a belt out of used pocket watches. When he finished it, he realized it was a huge waist of time.
Share These Time Of The Month Jokes With Friends
Time Of The Month One Liners
Which time of the month one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with time of the month? I can suggest the ones about month end and new month.
- I love eBay! Sold my homing pigeon 4 times this month.
- What did the two lesbian vampire say to each other? Same time next month?
- What did one lesbian vampire say to another? Same time next month?
- what did the lesbian vampire say to her girlfriend? "same time next month?"
- I love E-bay.... I sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month.
- Son you should never joke about a woman's time of the month period
- What's the best time of this month for vampires? It depends on the girl
- What did one lesbian vampire said to another lesbian vampire? Same time next month
- Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month? She must have called a 1,000 times
- Vampire love What did the lesbian vampire say to the other?
So, same time next month? - We should not in any way, shape, or form make fun of female's time of the month Period.
- It's that time of the month for robots iPads
- How do know there's no hair on the moon? The moon waxes 14 times a month!
- It is that time of month again. Blood is everywhere! I really should floss more often.
- I'm not so sure about this daylight savings time thing I give it six months
That Time Of The Month Jokes
Here is a list of funny that time of the month jokes and even better that time of the month puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Daylight Saving Time ends today. So I have to remind myself, that the clock on my microwave will be wrong for the next several months.
- IT'S HAPPENING!! We're heading back in time Last year was 2020 and again in less than 2 months it's gonna be 2022
- Dad joke for my birthday I just opened my birthday card from my Dad...
"How time has flown, it only seems like 12 months since your last birthday" - I've noticed my wife gets very aggressive about controlling the TV remote at the same time each month. It's nothing but period drama.
- Whoever figured out how to use your knuckles to remember the number of days in each month... ...had too much time on their hands...
- The last girl I dated was like a loan on the All-New 2020 Silverado during Chevy Truck Month She made herself available for a limited time only, then had 0% interest for 12 months.
- Doctor: You have two months to live. Patient: But doctor, I won't be able to pay your bill in that time! Doctor: Ok, you have three months to live.
- My friend was planning to take a vacation in Afghanistan next month. He won't beheading there any time soon.
- I used to hate when it was my girlfriend's time of the month Now I just hate her...period.
- An old man was asking God: "God, how much time do I have until I'll die?"
And God answered: "Nine."
"God, is that you? What do you mean? Nine months? Nine years?"
"Eight, seven, six..."
Hilarious Fun Time Of The Month Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about time of the month you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean monthly period jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make time of the month pranks.
A day in court....
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for divorce.
The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce?"
"Because," the man says, "I live in a two-story house."
The judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two-story house?"
The man answers, "Well one story is I have a headache and the other story is It's that time of the month!"
My wife just flipped out at me for not being sympathetic about her time of the month
It was a complete o**... action.
When Cleopatra is a**..., she produces pharaoh-moans.
Unless it's that time of the month that she's on her pyramid.
My girlfriend forgot my birthday.
"I lost track of days," she explained. "I blame my period."
"Oh c'mon," I scoffed, "how can you blame your period?"
And she responded, "Because during that time of the month, one day bleeds into the next."
Whelp! It's that time of the month again. There is BLOOD everywhere...
Ugggh...I hate flossing.
Did you hear about the author who wrote a book during her time of the month?
It was a period piece.
What did the Victorian wife say to her Victorian husband during that time of the month?
I don't know; I don't make period jokes.
Why didn't the vampire eat out his girlfriend?
Because it wasn't the right time of the month.
You hear of the movie about a girl's struggle during her time of the month?
It won the award for the best period drama
if your partner has her time of the month this or next week
it will be the christmas period
Appropriate since both my sister and girlfriend are on their time of the month
Why is a period called p**...?
Because mad cow disease was already taken.
Why do girls like vampires so much ?
They still eat no matter what time of the month.
I get very mad when it's my girlfriend's time of the month
I just see red
Before and After Phrase
The only think worse than hearing the words "I think it's my time of the month" from a woman before having s**..., is hearing those words after having s**....
How does a female chemistry teacher find out its that time of the month again?
She simply looks into the Periodic table
I recently traveled through time to hook-up with Queen Victoria, the famous n**...-queen of England in the late 1800's.
I was stunned to find out that she wanted me adorned in the latest fashions before we consummated our tri-millenium tryst. She made me wait until I grew large mutton-chop side-burns and a moustache. It took like three weeks. Meanwhile, she had a high fastening and tight fitting frock coat cut to my size with tailored shirts having high upstanding collars tied at the neck with large bow-ties. Finally, after a month, I'm adorned in the finest haberdashery of the day when I come to find out, it is now her time of the month. Since I looked like any gentleman of the era, we had period s**....
What kind of art does a women make during the time of the month?
A period piece.
How does Mary Tudor know it's that time of the month?
Her court is covered in minstrel blood.
Whats a lesbian vampire's favourite time of the month?
That time of the month.
Daredevil walks past a fish market.
sniffff... Is it that time of the month?
A guy says to his wife, "I'm in the mood for some 69."
She says, "It's that time of the month, but if you don't care, I don't care."
They go into the bedroom, and are 69ing like mad dogs when the doorbell rings.
She says, "Answer the door."
He says, "But my face is a mess."
She says, "It's just the postman. Answer the door, and if he says anything, just tell him you were eating a jam sandwich."
He opens the door and says, "I'm sorry about my mouth, I was eating a jam sandwich."
The mailman says, "I wasn't looking at the jam on your mouth...I was looking at the peanut butter on your forehead."
20 reasons why chocolate is better than s**...
1. you can *get* chocolate.
2. 'if you love me you'll s**... it' has real meaning with chocolate.
3. chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4. you can safely have chocolate while driving.
5. you can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6. you can have chocolate in front of your mother.
7. if you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate doesn't mind.
8. two people of the same s**... can have chocolate without being called n**... names.
9. the word 'commitment' doesn't scare off chocolate.
10. you can have chocolate on top of your worktable or desk during working hours without upsetting your coworkers.
11. you can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
12. you don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13. with chocolate there's no need to fake it.
14. chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
15. you can have chocolate any time of the month.
16. good chocolate is easy to find.
17. you can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18. you are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19. when you have chocolate it doesn't keep your neighbors awake.
20. with chocolate, size doesn't matter.
Why Chocolate Is Better Than s**...:
- You can GET chocolate.
- Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft.
- You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
- You can have chocolate in in public.
- If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind.
- The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
- You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
- No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate.
- Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
- You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
- You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
- Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.
