Time Keeping Jokes
7 time keeping jokes and hilarious time keeping puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about time keeping that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Time Keeping Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good time keeping joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Harry Potter has way too many characters...
Even J.K. Rowling has a hard time keeping all the characters straight.
Why did Sweeney Todd's wife have such a hard time keeping her restaurant staffed?
Employee turnover.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hard to s**...
My friend says to me "I'm sick but I'm having a tough time keeping my medicine in me".
"Why don't you try taking it with food like soup or a banana?" I suggest.
A few days later I see him and he's looking a lot better.
"I tried taking my meds with a banana like you said and it worked!" he proclaimed.
"What kind of pills were you taking?" I asked.
"Oh, they weren't pills. They were suppositories."
Why did the Navy captain have a hard time keeping up his insults of the island people?
He had a wrecked isle diss function.
Why does milk have a hard time keeping its balance?
Because it lactose
A priest is on a plane sitting right next to a woman. She is so beautiful and has such magnificent proportions that the priest is having a hard time keeping is eyes off of her body.
In a moment of weakness, he lays his hands on her legs and as he does, the woman looks at him, and tells him: "psalm 134:2".
Embarrassed, the priest takes his hand off of her legs and doesn't speak to her for the rest of the flight. When he reaches home, he immediately searches for his Bible and looks up the verse that the woman told him. It reads:
"Lift up your hands to the holy place and bless the Lord!"
A moth flies into a Pediatrist's office.
He says "Doc, you gotta help me. I got no purpose in my life. My wife left me, I lost my job, my kids won't even speak to me. I'm having a hard time keeping it together... I mean, every day I wake up thinking about just ending it all."
The pediatrist says "whoa, slow down there, little buddy! I'm just a pediatrist... I think you should be talking to a PSYCHIATRIST. Why did you even fly in here?!"
And the moth says "Well I don't know... your light was on!"
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