timbuktu Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious timbuktu puns

National Poetry Contest - Timbuktu

For the record, this is not my joke. I heard somebody tell it then found it online.

" The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu".

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination---Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a-huntin went,
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

The redneck won hands down!

👍🏼

A priest and a shepherd...

... from Australia participate in a gameshow on TV. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It's a city in Africa.

The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:

"I was a father all my life,
I had no children, had no wife,
I read the bible through and through
on my way to Timbuktu ... "

The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his poem:

"When Tim and I to Brisbane went
We met three ladies cheap to rent.
But they were three and we were two,
So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "

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Timbuktu

From my 80 year old Granddad:

Two finalists in a contest, One a college grad and one a high school drop out, were to write a poem in 3 minutes. The only requirement was that it ended in "Timbuktu". The college grad wrote his and told it to the judges;

Slowly across the desert sand,

Trekked a lonely caravan.

Men on camels two by two,

Destination Timbuktu.

The judges were very surprised and pleased with the poem, thinking that the drop out had no chance of beating that one.
The dropout then told his poem

Me and Tim a hunting went,

Met three girls in a tent.

Sunrise came, mornin' dew,

I bucked one and Timbuktu.

He won the contest.

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Robbie Burns

As Robbie was looking for a place to stay the night, he came up to a farm.

The farmer curious of the bards talent, said "you can stay the night if you pen a better song than mine, using Timbuktu."

Robbie agreed, and the farmer started

"Stretching across the desert sands,
Came a lonely caravan,
Men on camels two by two,
Destination Timbuktu."

Robbie thought for a moment and began

"As Tim and I walked along the strand,
We saw some ladies,
hand in hand
As they were three and we were two,
So I bucked one and Tim bucked two."

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There's a poem contest in South Carolina.

It's down to two contestants...one Harvard grad and one old redneck from the Low Country. They each have 5 minutes to come up with a poem, but they have to use the word "Timbuktu" in the poem to win. The Harvard grad goes first.

"Swiftly cross the desert sands,
Strode a lonely caravan.
One by one on camels drew,
Destination: Timbuktu."

The crowd goes crazy, thinking there's no way the redneck can top that. He walks to the mic, spits out his wad of tabacco, ponders a second and says:

"Me and Tim a huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
They was three and we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu."

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It was the finals of a poetry competition

The finalists: An English Professor and A Redneck. The judge says, Here is your task. Write a 4 line poem that ends with the word Timbuktu

The English prof goes first on stage. His poem:


Slowly across the desert sand

Ran a dusty caravan

Men in camels, two by two,

Destination: Timbuktu.

The crowd bursts into applause. Not to be deterred, the Redneck gets up and says,

Tim and I a-hunting went,

Met three whores in a pick-up tent,

They were three, and we were two,

So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

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So a ton of people go in for a job interview and the final two prospects are...[racist?][dirty]

...a Harvard grad, and a Polak.

Leaning toward no particular preference, the hiring manager decides to put them to a test. "You both have 30 minutes to write a poem," he says. "But the catch, is that it has to end in Timbuktu. The best poem gets the job." Both men accept the instructions and retreat to their respective rooms. 5 minutes later, out pops the Pole, claiming he is done.

"Fine, that's fine." Says the hiring manager dismissively. "But, we still need to wait for the other applicant to finish." The Polak sat patiently holding his poem. Utilizing all his time, the Harvard graduate emerged from his room with seconds to spare.

"Well done," said the hiring manager. "Now let's hear them. Why don't you go first?" he asked the Harvard graduate, anticipating the superior submission.

The grad began, "I was walking across the desert sand,
When I came across a caravan.
They took me in and saw me through
To the American embassy in Timbuktu."

"Very, very good." exclaimed the hiring manager. "Now let's hear your's, Mr. Polak."

The Pole approached the podium, clearing his throat. "Tim and I, a-hunting went.
Came across three cunt in a tent.
Them being three and us being two,
I bucked one, and Tim bucked two."

👍🏼

Timbuktu...

A priest and an Australian shepherd got a tie in a quiz show so they have to solve the last question: find a rhyme on the word Timbuktu.
After five minutes the priest returns and says:
"I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu..."
The crowd was cheering him and thought he would win as the shepherd returns:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went, we met three ladies cheap to rent. They were three and we were two, so I booked one and Tim booked two..."

👍🏼

What rhymes with Timbuktu?

A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It is city in Africa.

The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:

"I was a father all my life,
I had no children, had no wife,
I read the bible through and through
on my way to Timbuktu ... "

The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece:

"When Tim and I to Brisbane went
We met three women cheap to rent.
They were three and we were two,
So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "

👍🏼

Timbuktu

The chief poet of the town dies, so they have to elect a new one. The voting whittles the candidates down to two. The town holds a feast to choose the winner. The mayor stands up and declares that the winner shall be decided by voting on the poem the candidates can come up with on the spot based on a subject of his choosing. The mayor announces the subject will be "Timbuktu."

The first candidate stands up, thinks for a moment, and recites:

It came across a stormy gale

Broad of beam and wide of sail

Its keel was white, its hull was blue

Its destination: Timbuktu

The crowd erupts, they're cheering for the first candidate. The mayor calms the crowd, chiding them to remember they still must hear the other candidate's poem. The second candidate stands up, considers the crowd with utter solemnity, and says:

A-hiking Tim and I went,

When we came upon three girls in a tent

Since they were three and we but two,

I bucked one and Tim bucked two

👍🏼

Timbuktu

In the finals of a national poetry contest, the last two contestants are a Harvard graduate and a redneck. The Harvard graduate steps forward to receive the last subject. The judges tell him 'Timbuktu'. He thinks for a moment and recites his poem:
Across the vast and open sands
March a lonely caravan.
As they march, two by two
Destination Timbuktu
The crowd goes wild as the redneck steps forward. The judges tell him his subject is Timbuktu. He thinks for a while, when a big grin spreads across his face.
A huntin me and my friend Tim went.
We found three whores in a pop-up tent.
Of them were three, and of us were two,
so I bucked one and Tim-buck-two!

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Ogden Nash and Robert Frost die and are facing St. Peter at the Pearly Gates...

St. Peter doesn't recognize them and asks for identification. They both respond that they are great poets from Earth and are surprised that they're not recognized. St. Peter challenges them - "If you're such great poets. let me hear you form a rhyme for "Timbuktu".

The poets think for a moment, then finally Robert Frost speaks first.

"With such little time, I can only come up with this....". He then continues.

"I walked along the sandy shore.
I listened to the ocean's roar.
A floating ship came into view
Her port of call was Timbuktu."

An impressed St. Peter allowed him access through the gates.

After a slight period of silence, Ogden Nash finally spoke up.

"Okay - this is also rushed, but here goes...."

"Tim and I, a hiking went,
We spied three ladies in a tent.
Since they were three and we were two
I bucked one, and Tim bucked two."

👍🏼

Poetry contest

A redneck and a Harvard graduate are in a poetry contest where they have to come up with a poem that has the word Timbuktu in it. The Harvard graduate goes first.

Amongst the desert sands
Away ride the caravans
Camels leaving, two by two
Destination: Timbuktu

The audience applauds, thinking that the redneck does not have a chance. Then the redneck goes.

Me and Tim a'huntin' went,
Found some whores in a pop up tent.
They was three and we was two
So I bucked one and Timbuktu!

👍🏼

Poetry contest

At a poetry contest where the contestants are given one word they must create a poem from, there was competition between a well regarded poet and a redneck. The word given to them was Timbuktu and the poet was to go first.

Almost immediately the poet starts speaking..

Slowly across the desert sands, treks a lonely caravan, men on camels, two by two, there destination, Timbuktu.

No one thought the redneck could even compete but nonetheless he immediately stands and says,

Me and Tim a huntin' went, met three whores in a pop up tent, they was three and we was two so I buck one and Tim buck two

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It's down to two guys at a job interview.

Both of the men interviewing are equally qualified all the way down to eagle scout so the interviewer has an idea. "The one of you that can give me the better poem ending in Timbuktu gets the job." The first guy stands up and says, "Out across the desert sand went a lonely caravan. Underneath the sky so blue, their destination, Timbuktu." The second guy just sat there stunned. He knew he couldn't compete and was about to give up when inspiration struck. "Me and Tim a fishing went when we saw three ladies in a tent. They being three, and we being two, I bucked one and Tim bucked two."

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Timbuktu

Two gentlemen are sitting at the pearly gates waiting to speak with St. Peter. St. Peter asks them both to recite a poem using the word Timbuktu.

They sat there for a bit and the first guy says "While sitting on the ocean shore, listening to the ocean roar, I saw a ship passing through, it's destination, Timbuktu." St. Peter smiled and allowed him through the gates.

The second guy was having a very hard time coming up with a poem. After a long while he finally says "Tim and I, a walking we went, spotted three maidens in a tent. While they were three and we were two, I bucked one and Timbuktu."

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There is a tie for 1st place at a poetry slam...

The two contestants with the equal highest score are a Priest and a Scotsman. To decide which one should be the winner the judges take a random word out of a hat and give both of them 2 minutes to make a short poem with said word. The word being "Timbuktu".

The 2 minutes are up and the priest goes first:
"I've been devoted all my life,
Have no children, have no wife.
I've read the bible through and through,
All the way to timbuktu!"

The audience applaudes, and the Scotsman is up:
"Me and Tim to London went,
Met three ladies in a tent.
Since there were three, and we were two,
I booked one, and Timm booked two!"

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Poetry Competition

The two finalists at the annual poetry competition were an Ivy League college graduate and a redneck. The final stage of the competition was to write a rhyming poem using the word *Timbuktu.* The college graduate stands up to the microphone and starts.

>A desert caravan astray beneath a dusk deep blue

>On a path unknown the camels walk two by two

>Men search the stars for a bearing true

>Destination Timbuktu

The crowd erupted with applause then settled back into their seats. The redneck approaches the microphone, clears his throat and begins to speak.

>Me n' Tim a huntin' went

>Met three whores in a pop up tent

>They was three and we was two

>So I buck'd one and Tim-buck'd-two





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Timbuktu

Once in a quizshow. There were an Australian and a priest competing against each other. Their scores were equal, so they had to create a verse about "Timbuktu".
The priest began:
"I was a father, all my life,
had no children, had no wife.
I read the Bible, through and through.
On my way to Timbuktu."
Then the Australian told his version:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went,
we met three ladies cheap to rent.
They were three and we were two,
so I booked one and Tim booked two!"

👍🏼

A poet and a Newfie die

They are met by St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter says that to get in they must make a poem that says Timbuktu. For the poet this was simple and he said ; I was walking in the desert sand. When I came across a caravan. Camels walking two by two. Destination Timbuktu

For the Newfie this was very hard because he new nothing about Timbuktu or even where it was. It took him three days, but he finally came up with one and he said ; Tim and I a hunting we went. Found three maidens in a tent. Since they were three and we were two I buck one and Tim buck two

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A Poem about Timbuktu

There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.

They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.

The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."

The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.

The old country man then goes, "Tim and I off hunting went, found some girls in a pop up tent, they were three and we were two and I buck one and Tim buck two."

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Winner of the National Championship for Poems - Category: "Timbuktu"

Tim and I off hunting went.
Found three girls in a pop up tent.
They were three and we were two.
So I bucked one and,
Tim bucked two.

👍🏼

NCAA poetry contest was last night.

It got down to two finalists. A rich law student from Duke and redneck from Texas A&M. For the final round the contestants got five minutes to come up with a four line poem that uses the word "Timbuktu." After about a minute and a half the rich fella from Duke stands up and says:

Out upon the dusty sand

Traveled the roaming caravan

Camel and man traveling two by two

Destination Timbuktu

The crowd went wild. Everyone was wondering if the redneck would be able to top that. About 30 seconds before his time ran out the redneck hit the clock, eased up out of his seat, and said:

Tim and me a-hunting went

came upon three whores in a pop up tent

They were three and we but two

So I buck one and Tim buck two


...The redneck won.

👍🏼

Me and Tim a hunting went...

...Met three whores in a pop-up tent. They was three and we was two, so I buck one and Timbuktu.

👍🏼

Timbuktu

A Harvard grad and an Agricultural grad are competing for a bank job. The bank president is equally impressed with both candidates so he comes up with with a test to see how they think on there feet. He tells both candidates to write a poem using a word he will give them in 3 minutes to complete the task. Both candidates agree. The presidents say the word is "timbuktu". Go!!!

The Harvard grad starts writing immediately and finishes in a minutes while the Aggie has not written anything down. The president tells him time is half over just write something down. The Aggie frantically writes something and finishes just in time.

Since the Harvard grad finished first he will read his first and it went something like this.

Basting is the desert sun, Camels lined two by two, Destination timbuktu.

Impressed the president reads the Aggies.

A hunting Tim and I went, Spotted three lovelies in a tent, With the morning dew, I buck one and, Tim buck two

Aggie gets the job is you are worried about that.

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Namesake joke...

Two people were left standing at the national poetry contest, the Harvard grad and the highschool drop out.

The regulators gave the rules for the final round, "a word will be given and each contestant will be given 5 minutes to develop a poem using the word". The word was selected and the Harvard grad was drawn to go first, the word Timbuktu....

Harvard steps to the mic, clears his throat and begins:

"Across the bleak and dreary sand
Trekked a meek and weary band
Men on camel two by two
Deatination Timbuktu"

The croud applauds the obvious skill of the Harvard man.

Then the high school drop out approaches the microphone. He snorts, gravels his throat, and proceeds to spit onto the floor off the stage. The words that follow:

"Me and Tim and huntin went
Found three whores in a pop up tent
They was many and we was few
So I bucked one and Tim bucked two."

The drop out won hands down.

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How do you say twelve in Timbuktu?

Ten buck two

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Where is Timbuktu?

Right next to timbukone

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What are the most funny Timbuktu jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Timbuktu? Well, here are the best Timbuktu dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Timbuktu pick up lines to share with friends.

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