The Best 15 Tim Vine Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Tim Vine jokes. There are some tim vine timepiece jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these tim vine cri puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Tim Vine Jokes and Puns

I went on one of those once in a lifetime holidays last week...

I won't be doing that again.

A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam train.

When it happened, he was chuffed to bits!

Crime in lifts.

Its wrong on so many levels

Tim Vine joke, Crime in lifts.

So I said to this bloke "I'm gonna open a shop in Saudi Arabia"

He said "*Dubai?*", and I said, "*yep, and sell*".

I saw a street performer playing Dancing Queen on a Didgeridoo yesterday...

And I thought, that's ABBAriginal.

So I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley

She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job."

Today I had dinner with my boss and his wife

It was a complete disaster. The wife asked me "how many potatoes would you like?" and I said "I'll just have one". She said "it's alright, you dont have to be polite", and I said "alright then, I'll just have one you stupid cow".

Tim Vine joke, Today I had dinner with my boss and his wife

A man asked me for a lift the other day.

As I drove away I called back to him, 'Go for it, the world's your oyster!'

I asked my gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits.

He said 'how flexible are you?'

I said 'I can't make Wednesdays.'

I threw out my old vacuum cleaner today...

It was just gathering dust.

^Lizard ^^lizard^^^lizard

Is there a Gecko in here?

You can explore tim vine vines reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean tim vine pornhub dad jokes. There are also tim vine puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I've decided to sell my hoover...

well, it was just collecting dust.

My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island.

I said to him 'Don't be Sicily'.

I took part in the sun tanning Olympics.

I just got Bronze.

Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back.

Luckily I was the one facing the telly.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the tim vine timbuktu jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working tim vine brisbane piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes