Tighter Than Jokes
24 tighter than jokes and hilarious tighter than puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tighter than that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This is an article about jokes that are so tight, they will leave you feeling uncomfortable.
Funniest Tighter Than Short Jokes
Short tighter than jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tighter than humour may include short tighter jokes also.
- My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker... ...so I told her to roll them tighter.
- Why does the pakistani prefer the toilet over making love to his wife ? The hole is tighter, and the smell is better.
- Force Awakens joke my 9yo made up What did Poe ask Finn when they went fishing?
"Do you know how to tie a fly tighter?" - Why do Priests screw altar boys Because nothing should be tighter than an altar boy's bond with god
- whats the difference between a girl and a bus? "What's the difference between a girl
And a bus"
"What?"
"As more people that go in the bus the tighter it gets" - My grandma was complaining that her joints were getting weaker every day, but I'm glad that she's doing much better. She just started rolling them tighter.
- Deeper deeper if we're having s**... don't tell me "deeper deeper". if I could go deeper I would. you don't see me saying "tighter".
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Tighter Than One Liners
Which tighter than one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tighter than? I can suggest the ones about thinner than and tougher than.
- What did the gay guy say while parking? Wow, I'm not straight at all...
- I just did 10 pull ups this morning These jeans are tighter than I remember
- Kegels. They're basically like bagels, but the hole is tighter.
- What's the best part about a dead lady? Rigor mortis makes her tighter.
- Women are like oobleck The harder you slap them the tighter they get.
Tighter Than Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about tighter than you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean thicker than jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tighter than pranks.
A p**... goes to the doctor
p**...: "it's too wide, the guys don't like it anymore, I wanna make it tighter"
Doctor: "no problem, but I have to see it first"
She undresses and shows him.
Doctor: "What's this?" "What's this?" "What's this?"
p**...: "Why'd you say it 3 times?"
Doctor: "I said it once but the rest echoed"
Miniskirt
A small crowd gathers at a bus stop. A b**... blonde in a tight top and even tighter miniskirt shows up same time as the bus. Being a gentleman, a man lets her onto the bus first.
She goes to take her first step up the bus stairs, her legs are unable to take the step. The miniskirt was far too tight. Smiling apologetically to everyone, she reaches back to unzips the zipper a little. She attempts to step up the stairs, again, the skirt is still too tight. She reaches around her back, unzips the zipper a little. Smiling once more, she attempts to step up. Sigh, the skirt is still too tight, she reaches behind her a third time.
Two large hands grab her by the waist, lifting her up and placing her at the top of the steps. "Get your hands off me! How dare you touch me," she squealed.
"Ma'am, as much as I don't mind," the gentleman paused,"you were pulling down my zipper".
A man was having s**... with his wife one night...
"Deeper... deeper..." she moaned.
The man, not having finished, pulls out and starts getting dressed. The woman is surprised and asks "What's wrong baby?"
The man snaps back, "Deeper, deeper?! How about I coo in your ear tighter, tighter!
A husband and wife decide to relive their first date on their 10th anniversary.
They come to the fence that they first made love up against. The man looks at his wife "For old time's sake?" She nods and they begin to make love.
He pushes her up against the fence and says "You're even tighter than when we first started to date!"
She replies "The fence wasn't electric 10 years ago."
A man is about to die
His end is near, his wife is by his bed, holding his hand. No doctor was able to find out what exactly made the man so sick.
Suddenly, the man starts to cry. He sobs:
"Darling, I have to tell you something before I die."
She holds his hand even tighter and says:
"Shh, stay calm. You don't have to do anything!"
But he insists:
"Darling, I made mistakes. I slept with your best friend."
She stays calm:
"It's ok, don't worry about that."
He continues:
"I also slept with your sister."
His wife still remains calm, again she says:
"Honey, it's ok. Don't worry about that."
He tears up once more and confesses:
"I... also slept with your mom..."
His wife smiles at him, says:
"Honey, I know all of that. Now calm down and let that poison finish its job."
The Royal Honeymoon.
On the day of her wedding to Prince William, Catherine gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes. Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes. Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Catherine's feet are in agony.
The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear William say, "God, that was tight."
"There," whispers Camilla to the Prince Charles, "I told you she was a v**...."
Then, to their surprise, they hear William say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter."
"That's my boy," says the Prince Charles. "Once an Etonian, always an Etonian."
A senior Catholic Priest in Kenya was dying in a hospital and for his death wish he asked to see the local MP and the county Governor.
Within hours, the two arrived.
He asked them to sit on either side of the bed.
The priest held their hands and kept quiet.
The politicians were so touched and at the same time felt very important for being summoned by a senior and well respected priest in his dying moment.
Out of anxiety, the Governor asked, 'But why did ask for me and Mheshimiwa?'
The priest gathered all his strength and held their hands even tighter.
Then with his eyes still closed, he mumbled 'Jesus died between two thieves. My only wish is to die the same way.'
Minutes later as the silence enveloped the hospital room, the priest took his last breath.