Tidy Jokes
17 tidy jokes and hilarious tidy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tidy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Tidy Short Jokes
Short tidy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tidy humour may include short messy jokes also.
- Everyone in Britain prefers brushes over vacuum cleaners when it comes to tidying their floors. Sorry if that's a sweeping generalisation.
- I always wave to my neighbors when vacuuming, and they always give me strange looks... In all honesty, they're the weird ones, they don't have enough decency to make sure their lawns are tidy.
- Why is the office that monitors the movement of Ocean water so immaculate? Because it's Tidy work
- Lesbian at the Gynecologist "Everything's neat and tidy in there", said the gynecologist after the examination.
"So it should be", said the lesbian. "I have a woman in twice a week". - You know what they say about the communist girl with beautiful handwriting? Leftie-Lucy Writey Tidy
- Instead of actually tidying my room, I just shoved everything under my bed. My house-mate suggested hiring a cleaner. "I'll sleep on it."
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Tidy One Liners
Which tidy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tidy? I can suggest the ones about neat and tucked.
- Hey guys I'm not obsessed with tidiness… I just wanted to clear that up, have a nice day
- What do you call a gardener who cleans up a lot? A tidy didy seed insidey!
- What do you call an organized recluse Neet and tidy
- Why is Ronaldo tidy? Because he does not want to be called Messi.
- I feel bad for Messi We should help him tidy up
Cheerful Fun Tidy Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about tidy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean handy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tidy pranks.
A Sunday school teacher posed a question to her class, "If I were to sell my house, car, donate my possessions to charity, and give all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?"
The children unanimously replied, "No."
The teacher then asked, "If I were to keep the church clean, mow the lawn, and keep everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"
Once again, the answer was a resounding "No."
Apparently perplexed, the teacher asked, "Well, then how can I get into heaven?"
A quick-witted five-year-old boy piped up and replied, "You have to be dead!"
I know the feeling...
An auto mechanic in the hospital was chatting nervously with his surgeon while being prepped for an operation. "Sometimes I wish I'd gone into your line of work," he told the doctor. "Everything you doctors do is so cut and dried and tidy. With me, I spend half a day taking an engine apart and putting it back together, and it seems like I always have a couple of parts left over."
"Yes," said the surgeon. "I know the feeling."
Surgery
After her fifth child, Jane decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory because her gammon was dangling a bit too low and looked like a ripped out fireplace. Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five children now being the limit, she'd tidy things with a n**... here and a tuck there so it looked more like a piggy bank slot rather than a badly packed kebab.
Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three roses at the end of the bed.
"Who are these from?" she asked the nurse, "They're very nice but I'm a bit confused as to why I've received them". "Well" said the nurse, "The first is from the surgeon - the operation went so well and you were such a model patient that he wanted to say thanks".
"Ah, that's really nice" said Jane.
"The second is from your husband - he's delighted the operation was such a success that he can't wait to get you home. Apparently it'll be the first time he's touched the sides for years and he's very excited!".
"Brilliant!" said Jane." "And the third?".
"That's from Eric in the burns unit" said the nurse..............he just wanted to say thanks for his new ears."
The Monkees visit a bar every Tuesday...
Each time they visit, they never finish their drinks, leaving them for the waiter to tidy up.
One night, the waiter approaches Micky Dolenz:
"Excuse me sir, you waste $30 on drinks every Tuesday that just get thrown down the drain. Why do you do it?"
Micky turns to the waiter and smiles. "Haven't you heard? I'm a beer leaver."
My wife shouted at me...
You're so useless! You never tidy up or help with the housework, you're lazy and s**... and I bet you don't even know how to keep a house tidy!
I decided to prove her wrong so I did the washing up, ha! You should have seen her face when I showed her I knew how to load the dishes into the tumble dryer...
I thought I'd lost my l**... at my Grans house.
I went around and asked her if she'd found a small see through bag when tidying up.
She told me she didn't have time to tidy up.
Not while she has to worry about that dragon guarding the fridge.
