The Best 64 Tide Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Tide jokes. There are some tide saltwater jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these tide tidal puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Tide Jokes and Puns

Tide has some serious ad time during the superbowl this year

Must be able to afford it after cornering the teenage snack food market

What does a Notre Dame fan do after his team beats the Roll Tide?

Turn off the xbox and go to bed...

Why did the chicken cross the beach?

To get to the other tide

Tide joke, Why did the chicken cross the beach?

Why do Eskimos wash their clothes in Tide?

Because it's too cold outtide

What did the beach say as the tide came in?

Long time, no sea.


Why is it always a full tide in South Africa?

Because they made a part tide illegal.

Always wash your clothes in tide

Because it's way too cold out-tide

Tide joke, Always wash your clothes in tide

What did the sea say to the river?

You can run but you can't tide!

You're so ugly

You're so ugly....even the tide wouldn't take you out

I was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's and Cancer

The cancer sucks, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's!

Wait

No

I do

I can feel the edges of my mind unraveling; each piece, once so firmly put together, slowly falling away from my grasp. To know that the mind, the seat of who you are, can simply... disintegrate, like a mighty sandcastle in the tide...

Well, at least I don't have cancer.

Alabama college kid visiting Boston

So this Alabama Crimson Tide football player is visiting Boston. He's at a party and sees this pretty blonde girl, want to chat her up.
Goes over and says "What college does you go to?" She's not impressed by his down south accent and general rural hick ways, so she says "Yale." and looks away.
He lean over to her ear and says "WHAT COLLEGE DOES YOU GO TO?"

You can explore tide hamper reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean tide mermaid dad jokes. There are also tide puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What two word phrase is most often said after two cousin finish having sex?

"Roll tide"

Why did the octopus cross the reef?

To get to the other tide.

Why did the whale cross the ocean?

To get to the other tide.

What do mermaids wash their fin with?

Tide

I'm really glad I finally got a saltwater aquarium

It really tide the room together

Tide joke, I'm really glad I finally got a saltwater aquarium

Why did the University of Alabama choose to be the "Tide"?

Because elephant was too hard to spell.

Tide Pods are really great at cleaning...

Up the gene pool.

When an eel bites your thigh at the beach (at low tide)

That's a moray


People who eat Tide Pods are idiots.

The Costco brand pods are half the price. Just saying.

Why are people eating tide pods?

To clean the gene pool!

The evolution of tide pods

In 2017 tids pods cleaned clothes but in 2018 it cleans the gene pool

I heard its easy to convince women not to eat tide pods..

but it's a lot harder to **deter gents**.

What if tide pods..

Are just cleaning up people who should have been stains in the first place?

Tide announced the new motto for their pods line.

Cleaning the gene pool since 2017.

There is an upside to eating Tide Pods....

It takes the skid marks out of your underwear.

I hear it's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods

What do Tide Pods taste like?

Natural Selection.

I've been hearing how easy it is to convince ladies not to eat Tide pods...

It's somewhat more difficult to deter gents.

Edit; I'll show myself out.

Personally, i think that Tide pods are even better than advertised.

I mean, anything that can clean your clothes and the gene pool in the same product...

Give a teen a pizza, they'll be full for a day

Give a teen a tide pod, they'll be full for the rest of their life

It's easier to deter women from eating tide pods, but it's harder to...

Deter-gents

Are you a tide pod?

Because you're lookin' like a snack but you're really just toxic to everyone.

I was addicted to Tide Pods

I'm clean now

I used to be addicted to Tide Pods...

But I'm clean now.

What do you call a group of dolphins that move according to the moons gravity?

A Tide pod

A major detergent manufacturer is to release a new range of fruit scents, including apple, tomato, orange, banana and mango

They're going to call it "Tide Pods - Natural Selection"

The gene pool recently got cleaner,

it was a tide add all along.

"Son, what would happen if neither team won the Super Bowl?"

"It's a Tide ad."

The secret to World Peace has been discovered!!

Everyone must drink Pepsi while having their phone carrier changed to T-Mobile and drive a Dodge Ram truck!

And make the world a better, cleaner place by using Tide!

I feel bad for all the people eating Tide pods.

They haven't figured out that Cascade actionpacs taste way better.

Tide is fully embracing their new consumers with their new Tide Pod containers...

They just changed their active ingredients to nutrition facts .

Now that the tide pod fad is dying down

lets move onto the cotton candy in the attic.

Father: wow son you're really dressed up! What's that around your neck?

Son: it's a Tide Ad

What do you call a Tide Pod that prevents war?

A nuclear detergent

I don't know why people think eating Tide Pods is dangerous...

I mean, you could start today and eat them for the rest of your life.

Instead of using the fear of prison to dissuade criminals, we should start making them eat Tide Pods.

That would be a real crime detergent.

A friend and I decided to see who would die first after eating a tide pod...

Now this is pod racing.

What do you call a group of beached whales?

A tide pod.

What does a mermaid use to clean her tail?

Tide!

Walked into a dry cleaners the other day and I was amazed.

The chap behind the counter had fluorescent blue gel like hands. To my further amazement, he was using them as detergent on the clothes.

I said, excuse me sir, may I ask you to hold my bag whilst I take a photo of your appendages?! I feel like the internet would be amazed at this

He said I can't sorry, my hands are tide

What Do Mermaids Wash Their Clothes With?

Tide.

What's the difference between a hammock and a Fortnight player.

One is a tied seat pod

The other eats tide pods

Last year, kids were eating tide pods. This year, they're getting vaccines and picking up trash.

Seems that eating tide pods makes you smart!

I don't need to inject disinfectant

I'm still protected by that Tide pod I ate two years ago.

And people were concerned about the pod challenge...

How the Tide has turned

I had sex with my best friends mother, sister and girlfriend all at the same time.

It wasn't a foursome or anything, Roll Tide.

What does a mermaid wash their fins with?

Tide

I wash my clothes in Tide

Because it's too hot out Tide

In light of the rising number of rape cases, the police is advising women to carry a Tide pod in their purses at all times.

It's supposed to deter gents.



>!Had to change up the premise a bit, since in my language detergente - > deter gente, literally "to detain/arrest people". Glad it works out almost the same!<

If you smoke seaweed on the beach...

...do you experience high tide?

Why was the tide high?

Too much seaweed

I hear that it's easier to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods

but it's harder to deter gents.

Ladies that eat Tide pods should be aware it could negatively affect their chances for a romantic relationship. Odds are likely that it will...

...detergents.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the tide wave jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working tide lifeguards piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes