Ticks Jokes

42 ticks jokes and hilarious ticks puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about ticks that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article dives into the world of ticks jokes and humor. Learn about blue ticks, vermin, pecks and other creatures that can be the butt of jokes and comic relief. Discover a delightful selection of hilarious mosquito and tick jokes sure to bring a smile to your face.

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jokes about ticks

Best Short Ticks Jokes

Short ticks puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ticks humour may include short timer jokes also.

  1. The population of the countryside were almost wiped out entirely by a rare breed of ticks that live and breed inside the mouths of Alpacas. The survivors now live in a post Alpaca lip tick wasteland.
  2. I used to hang out with a guy who crossbred insects... But I got sick of his crazy ant ticks.
  3. What did the German clockmaker say to the clock that only went "tick tick tick"? "Vee haf vays to make you tock"
  4. Why did the polar bears on noah's Ark hang out near the insects? They were looking for the ark tick.
  5. Girls hate it when I suddenly send them photographs of parasites Turns out, no one wants unsolicited tick pics
  6. Scientists have recently discovered a new bioluminescent bug that performs a strange dance any time there is a full moon. They are calling it a Raving Luna Tick.
  7. We use a very accurate term to describe our government. Politics, poly meaning many, and ticks meaning bloodsucking creatures.
  8. I once ran a podcast about bloodsucking arthropods. But then one day I got a take-down notice and that was the end of Tick Talk.
  9. I hope this virus gets cleared up before tick season... Or else we'll have Corona with Lyme
  10. Did you hear the one about the mute clock with Tourette's? It ticks a lot but never talks.
Ticks joke, Did you hear the one about the mute clock with Tourette's?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about ticks can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of ticks puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Ticks One Liners

Which ticks one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ticks? I can suggest the ones about bits and ticket.

  1. What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common? They are both Paris sites
  2. What do you call an ISIS member with Tourette's? A ticking time bomb.
  3. Why do angry clocks only tock? Because they are ticked off.
  4. The clock was bored of his tick-tock... he changed to a better tack-tick.
  5. I hope this pandemic is over before tick season starts... Then it'll be corona and lyme.
  6. What's a clock when you take the batteries out? Ticked off.
  7. Why was the clock sent to detention? It ticked-off the teacher by tock-ing in class.
  8. What do you call a depressed tick from Rome? A hopeless Roman Tick
  9. Did you hear about the guy with Lyme disease? Yeah... he's ticked.
  10. What happened when the dog swallowed a clock? It got ticks.
  11. Scientists have found crazed bugs on the moon. Lunar ticks
  12. What do you call a crazy bug on the moon? A lunar tick.
  13. A lot of guys found Princess Leia attractive... ...but for me she ticks Alderaan boxes.
  14. what do kids with tourette's and tall grass have in common? ticks
  15. Why did the man throw his clock Because he was ticked off

Blue Ticks Jokes

Here is a list of funny blue ticks jokes and even better blue ticks puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Where did the blue and green ticks meet? The aquatic centre.
Ticks joke, Where did the blue and green ticks meet?

Great Ticks Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about ticks you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean timing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make ticks prank.

A man dies and goes to heaven...

He goes up to the gates of heaven and sees a wall of clocks. He asks an angel, "what are all those clocks" the angel tells him that they are lie clocks. Everybody has one, and every time you lie it ticks one notch over. The angel points to a clock labeled "Abraham Lincoln" which has 3 lies. The man asks the angel "Where is Donald Trump's clock?" The angel replies "Its in Jesus's office, he's using it as a ceiling fan."

The word politics is derived from two words

The word poly meaning many and the word ticks meaning blood s**... parasite.

Politics Is the Most Accurate Word In English

It's made up of two other parts.
1 - Poly - meaning many
2 - Ticks - blood s**... insects.

What is the definition of politics?

Poly meaning many.
And ticks meaning blood s**... parasites.

If poly means many and ticks are blood s**... parasites,

then politics must mean...

Ambush Watch

Down at the Senior Center the other day Joe was telling a tale about his experience in the jungle during his war. It seems that he was wearing a cheap watch one night while on an ambush and it made so much noise that his buddy insisted that he douse the watch with bug spray . . . to get rid of the ticks.

The meaning of "politics"

The word "politics" derives from the Greek "poly-", meaning "many", and "ticks", meaning "blood-s**... parasites".

A health insurance company is offering a cheaper deal to anyone who ticks a box that says they promise not to eat shellfish.

They call it their No Clams Bonus.

We finally removed some ticks from the donkey today.

They were being a pain in the ass.

I recently started dating a girl in admin....

She's just great, she really ticks all the boxes

Did you know Rocky Mountain wood ticks hunt in packs? They from a queue and move back and forth before they swoop in to bite you.

They call this behaviour Lyme dancing.

What's a good way to pass time with some bugs?

Magic ticks!

A woman dies and goes to Heaven

There she is found by St Peter and is escorted to where she'll reside for the rest of her days. As they walk through Heaven,they go through a giant hallway full of clocks. "What are these clocks on the wall",she asks St Peter. "Every man and woman on earth has a personal clock and everytime he or she commits a sin,the clock ticks". "Ohhh...and where's my husband's clock?" she asks."Ahh,we've been using this one in Jesus' office as an air fan"

did you hear about the time they strapped a Timex watch on an old, flea-bitten dog to see what would happen?

The watch kept ticking, the ticks kept watching.

It ticks me off whenever A European is confused about not being charged for extra refills when the answer is so simple...

Land of the free.

A blond is asked the definition of Politics.

She says "Simple! It comes from two words. The first, poly- which is Latin for many. And ticks, which are blood s**... bugs."

What is the etymology of the word "politics"?

*Poli*, from the Greek *polloi*, meaning "Many".
And *Ticks*, from English, meaning "little bloodsucking creatures."

Ticks joke, Where did the blue and green ticks meet?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these ticks jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.