The Best 77 Tick Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Tick jokes. There are some tick haff jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these tick tock puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Tick Jokes and Puns
The clock makes my head itch.
First it goes tick, then there's the itch, and the tock removes it.
And it repeats on and on.
Ticket Please
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus ink
Tentickles
How much tickles do it take for an octopus to laugh?
Ten tickles.....
I'll go back to studying now
Why did the German watchmaker say to the watch that kept saying "Tick, tick, tick, tick,..."?
"Ve haff vays of meking you tock."
I'd like two tickets, please.
- Is it for The Hobbit?
- No, she's my girlfriend.
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
They only gave him one test tickle.
I tickled my little brothers foot this morning. And my mom went crazy about it.
Something about "Waiting until he's born".
Tickle me Elmo was recalled
They forgot to give him two test tickles.
Have you seen the new ticket prices for Alton Towers?
Admission now costs an arm and a leg!
How do you tell if someone is ticklish?
Testicles.
You can explore tick luna reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean tick mite dad jokes. There are also tick puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?
They were looking for the ark tick.
How do you tell if your girlfriend's ticklish?
You give her a test tickle.
How do you know tickle me Elmo is male?
Because before he leaves the factory they give him two test tickles.
How may tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
I just told my girlfriend that I was an Italian mite in a past life .
I'm a Roman tick at heart.
What do you want to do before you tickle someone?
Test-tickles
My dog had a tick once,
Someone recommended i try the "lighter fluid and match" trick, it definitely worked as my dog never got a tick again. But man, I sure do miss my dog.
If Dr. Seuss were a convict (poem)
What's this in my hand?
Behind your back?
It's soap on a a rope!
Whack whack whack!
What's this in my sock?
Tick tock, knock knock.
A large steel lock!
Chock chock chock!
What's this in my breeches?
I heard that you blab..
Snitches get stitches!
Stab stab stab!!
I started observing extremists
Wanted to find out what made them tick... tock... boom
What does every Tickle Me Elmo receive before it leaves the factory?
Two testicles.
I have two tickets to the Euro's final..
problem is it's on the same day as my wedding... So if anyones interested it's at St.Peters church in Brighton and her name is Sarah.
Did you hear about Disney's new Tick Tock Crock ride?
It's killer.
You know what they call the strategy involving freshmints while playing a game of timed tic tac toe?
The tic tac tick tick tic tac toe tactic
How many tickles...
How many tickles before a squid starts to laugh?
Ten tickles
I have two tickets to the 2017 Superbowl, but I'm getting married that day so I can't go.
If you're interested in going in my place, the wedding is at St. Peter's church and her name is Laura.
I was tickling my brothers feet last night...
...and my mum woke up and had a right go at me. It was something about waiting until he's born first.
Tickling my girlfriend and having sex with my girlfriend are kind of the same thing.
She is always laughing at me and telling me to stop
What do you call a crazy bug on the moon?
A lunar tick.
Had to remove the seconds hand from my watch..
was really starting to tick me off
How do you tell if someone is ticklish?
You give them a couple of test-tickles.
What did the German clockmaker say to the clock that only went "tick tick tick"?
"Vee haf vays to make you tock"
Mr. Tickle proposed to the girl of his dreams… But Tess was reluctant to take his surname.
…but Tess was reluctant to take his surname.
What does every Tickle Me Elmo get before leaving the Tyco factory?
A couple of test-tickles.
How many tickles does it take to make a Japanese girl cry?
10 tickles
Ticket Inspector: Sir, why do you have a child's ticket?
Me: Because I'm a child of god.
Tickets to the Kentucky derby are 1100$
If I wanted to spend 1100$ for two minutes of action, I'd hire a prostitute.
Sometimes I wonder about suicide bombers...
What makes them *tick*?
Tickets for the Indiana State Philharmonic went up dramatically after they doubled the width of the stage.
You didn't think that the ISP would give out twice the band width for free did you?
What kind of tick should you look out for on the full moon?
A lunatic
My last few relationships have drained the life from me.
I'm something of a tick magnet.
How do you tickle a rich girl?
Say Gucci Gucci Gucci!
A lady took her clock to a clock repairman.
"What seems to be the problem?" he asked.
"This clock just goes tick, tick, tick." she replied.
"Ahh, don't worry lady, we have ways to make them tock".
I tickled my little brother's foot
I tickled my little brother's foot yesterday and my mom went crazy and said,
"Wait until he is born"
What do you call a tick that lives on the moon?
A lunatic.
What did the detective say while interrogating a clock accused of murder?
"LISTEN PUNK! We know what makes you tick, and we have ways to make you tock!"
Upon arriving at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, a man saw a massive wall of clocks.
He asked St Peter what is with all the clocks?
St Peter responded, These are the clocks of lies. Each person has a clock. Every time they lied on Earth the clock moves one tick.
The man noticed a clock that wasn't moving. "Whose clock is that?" He asked.
St Peter said that was Mother Teresa. She never told a lie.
Whose is that? Abe Lincoln's. It moved two ticks. Showing he lied twice.
Understanding the system, he asked, Where's Donald Trump's clock?
St. Peter responded It's in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.
At the ticket counter: "One ticket, please."
"Yeah, right!" says the clerk to the russian doll.
Scientists have recently discovered a new bioluminescent bug that performs a strange dance any time there is a full moon.
They are calling it a Raving Luna Tick.
How do you tickle a fancy woman?
Gucci Gucci Gucci
How do you get tickets to the Tampon 100?
Pull some strings.
TICKET AGENT: "And will this be round trip?"
FLAT EARTHER: "Here we go again."
How many tickles do you need to make an octopus love?
Ten tickles
What kind of Tick is explosive?
A dyna-mite.
So my clock only went "tick tick tick"...
and I took it in to a German watchmaker. He looked at it menacingly and said "Ve have vays of making you tock."
Why do clocks swear a lot?
Because they have a tick.
I met a tiny, alien robot that looked like a small bug. He told me his friends escaped their home planet, and found a home here. He was confident that his race would be OK.
He was Optimus Tick
What do you call Optimus Prime if he gets a tick?
Optimis-tick
What do you call a depressed tick from Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
God I would hate it if this covid pandemic kept going all the way through to tick season.
I really don't like corona with Lyme.
I hope this virus gets cleared up before tick season...
Or else we'll have Corona with Lyme
I tickled my brother's feet and got in trouble
The reason was because they said I had to wait for him to be born.
I tickled my little sister's foot this morning and my mum went crazy about it...
..something about waiting until she was born
It ticks me off whenever A European is confused about not being charged for extra refills when the answer is so simple...
Land of the free.
Whats the difference between a tick and the Eifel tower?
Nothing, they are both Paris sites.
How many tickles does it take to make a Japanese girl laugh?
ten-tickles
Just got my ticket to the Fibonacci convention!
It's going to be as big as the last two years put together.
I hope this pandemic is over before tick season starts...
Then it'll be corona and lyme.
I tickled my brother the other day and got into trouble for it
My mom said that he has to be born before i can do that
Does every Tickle-Me-Elmo have to have test-tickles before they leave the factory?
No, Not every one, only the males
What's the difference between a tick, and the eiffel tower?
Well nothing, after all they are both Paris sites.
Someone tickled me today and then asked: "Did you feel that?"
It was nice to finally receive a 600 stimulus check.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Tentickles.
Why was the ticket taker fired?
For not cutting corners.
How many tickles does it take to turn on a anime girl?
Tentacles
TicketMaster was just fined $10 million for hacking into a competitor
At least they were told it would be $10 million, but when they went on the court's website to pay the fine, the site tacked on a bunch of "processing fees" and "venue charges" and the total came out to more like $15 million.
How much tickling does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the tick lice jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working tick flea piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.