Thyme Jokes

153 thyme jokes and hilarious thyme puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about thyme that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Searching for some herb-related humor? Look no further than this collection of thyme jokes! From parsley puns to paprika comedy, these hilarious jokes will have your friends in stitches. Get ready to laugh with this fun and flavorful batch of thyme humor!

Funniest Thyme Short Jokes

Short thyme jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The thyme humour may include short herbs and spices jokes also.

  1. I changed the tags of my mother's herb jars. She hasn't notice it yet.. But the thyme is cumin
  2. I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up. Good thymes.
  3. My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with food. I wasn't really listening, but she said something about not making enough thyme for her.
  4. I switched all the label on my wife spice rack. I'm not in trouble yet.... but the thyme is cumin.
  5. I relabeled all the jars in my mom's spice rack I'm not in trouble yet but the thyme is cumin.
  6. The wife and I were trying to spice things up in the bedroom... so now I cumin her every thyme.
  7. I made a device that travels to the past to make sure food is properly seasoned. I call it my Thyme Machine
  8. Last week I was bored, so I decided to swap around the labels on my wifes spice rack. So far, she hasn't noticed. Mark my words though, the thyme is cumin.
  9. I found a recipe from Morocco for homemade dinner rolls. It called for fresh thyme but mine was outdated. I used it anyways. You know, as I reminisce, I really like that old thyme moroccan roll.
  10. I switched the labels on the jars in my wife's spice rack. She hasn't noticed it yet... I know the Thyme is Cumin.

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Thyme One Liners

Which thyme one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with thyme? I can suggest the ones about herb and spice and sage.

  1. Which spice is the worst at keeping secrets? Only thyme will tell.
  2. How does Jimmy season his world before eating it? It just takes some thyme
  3. I spent the afternoon making a belt out of herbs; What a waist of thyme.
  4. I was alphabetising my spice rack... when I realised I have too much spare thyme.
  5. We should move to a herb based fuel economy We can finally make the trains run on thyme.
  6. What do you call someone with a spice garden on Gallifrey? A Thyme Lord.
  7. Did I ever tell you the joke about my favorite garden herb? No? Well, it's about thyme!
  8. What's the #1 rule of the spice trade? Thyme is money.
  9. Why is it called Sesame Street? They couldn't call it Thyme Square.
  10. I was bored so I made a robot to distribute herbs It helped pass the thyme
  11. I've finally finished my fresh herb cookbook It's about thyme
  12. What's the best herbal remedy for cuts and scrapes? Thyme. It heals all wounds
  13. They finally released the book about my favourite seasoning It's about thyme.
  14. I was going to make a joke about herbs But I don't have the thyme
  15. Did you hear Gordon Ramsay wrote a book about herbs? It's about thyme!

Thyme Herb Jokes

Here is a list of funny thyme herb jokes and even better thyme herb puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I was unlucky to be sacked as a chef for using the incorrect fish and herbs Wrong plaice, wrong thyme
  • My wife says I get way too overexcited when I cook and that I always end up using too many herbs in my dishes. So she told me to take a thyme out.
  • Apparently adding herbs to your garbage can makes it smell better. But I don't have thyme for that rubbish.
  • I have a joke about fish and herbs. But I don't think now is the thyme or the plaice to tell it.
  • When I do the gardening, I alphabetise my herbs, people often ask how I find the time. I respond with "Easy, Thyme is right between the Tarragon and Turmeric"
  • I've got a really good joke about a fish and some herbs But it neither the Thyme nor the Plaice
  • I really need to plant some herbs of my own as soon as possible. I'm living on borrowed thyme.
  • What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs? "Well, this was a waste of Thyme."
  • I spent over 3 hours making a belt out of herbs, but in hindsight... it's just a waist of thyme.
  • I was going to make a joke about herbs and fish... But this is neither the plaice nor the thyme to do so.
Thyme joke, I was going to make a joke about herbs and fish...

Hilarious Thyme Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about thyme you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean herbs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make thyme pranks.

There once was a man who used to collect spices from all over the world...

now he just doesn't have the thyme.

Why was the chef mad?

He had all the money in the world, but no thyme.

Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

He was making up for lost thyme.
Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.
*Wow, thanks! I was expecting a much chilier reception, but your warm comments have kept those fears at bay (that's what you get for encouraging me :)*

Why couldn't the man open a fish and herb shop?

Because he didn't have the thyme or the plaice.

Why should you always have thyme in your first aid kit?

Because thyme heals all wounds.

You hear about these new trains that can burn any organic matter for fuel?

They even run on thyme!

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme.

I am getting around to writing my essay on herbs for my botany class...

It's about thyme

I once made a belt out of herbs.

It wasn't very useful and just ended up being a waist of thyme.

Two Chefs get in an argument,

And they split the kitchen right down the middle.
One Chef has the oven and fridge on his side, and the other has the freezer, a spice rack, and a microwave on his.
So the first Chef looks at the other and says
"What are you gonna do? You can't cook anything in a microwave, you're finished."
The second Chef looks over and tells him
"I have thyme on my side."

I lost a cooking contest.

I was so close, but I ran out of thyme.

There's a chef that doesn't bother putting gloves on before prepping his food

Now he's got a lot more thyme on his hands.

I can't cook with spices right now...

...I just don't have the thyme.

What did the chef say to his assistant when he got handed the wrong ingredients?

This is neither the thyme nor the plaice.

There is a spice shortage...

There is a shortage of spices all around the world. One entrepreneur saw the shortage coming and stocked up. His advisor was pushing to sell it soon so that people could have all of their favorite dishes. The entrepreneur looked at his advisor and said "what's the rush? We've got all the thyme in the world."

I've never really got the point of herbs and seasoning...

I just think it's a waste of thyme.

A man in Victorian clothes just appeared out of thin air and handed me a fistful of herbs.

I think he might be a Thyme traveller.

A spice belt for chefs

Might be a waist of thyme

I asked a friend of mine what it was like being a herb farmer....

...He said its not so bad and that he had a lot of thyme on his hands.

Cooking is actually really easy for anyone to do

It's just that most people don't have thyme.

What basic skill do herb farmers always struggle with?

Thyme management

A chef, a clockmaker, and a thief walk into a bar, but the bartender says he doesn't get the joke.

They all say, "It's okay, these things take thyme."

Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta away
We cannoli do so much,
His legacy will become a pizza history.
Here today gone tomato.
How sad he ran out of thyme,
Sending olive my prayers to the family.
His wife is really upset, Cheese still not over it.
You never saussage a tragic thing.
some people just want to watch the world burn!

I wanted to rearrange all the spices on my spice rack

But I couldn't find the thyme.

2 weeks building a greenhouse for my herbs only to see it blown away in freak winds

What a waste of thyme!

Did you hear about the Italian Chef who died?

He pasta way.
I never sausage a tragic thing.
He is now a pizza history.
Sending olive my support to his family.
We cannoli do so much though.
I feel for his wife. Cheese still not over it.
I guess he just ran out of thyme.

The herb with the most medicinal properties is Thyme...

It heals all wounds.

You know what they say about herbal medicine...

Thyme heals all wounds.

Why do gardeners hand out their herbs?

To pass the thyme.

Picking herbs is an awful job...

... It's very thyme consuming.

My girlfriend complained about her new bunny misbehaving

I said "just give her some thyme".

You can always tell when a chef is Russian.

They never put thyme into the dish!

My wife asked why the spaghetti sauce tasted odd

I told her I didn't have the thyme to make it right.

My wife told me to go to the store to get some herbs...

I said I have no thyme

If you break your leg... put some herbs on it.

I mean, thyme heals all wounds.

I finally got to have a conversation with an Italian chef

It was about thyme.

My neighbor was very urgent when asking me for herbs.

He said that he was running out of thyme.

I got my fortune told by someone using herbs. I'm not sure if any of the predictions were accurate.

Only thyme will tell.

Police are searching for a fugitive chef after he killed a customer who was arguing about spices used in a dish.

They are saying it's only a matter of thyme.

Why was the chef late to work?

He ran out of thyme

A couple of police officers taught me a valuable lesson about grocery stores.

Apparently, employees aren't supposed to have free thyme.

I was hosting a f**... for my goldfish, and my friend thought it was okay to ask "What herbs should I season which fish with?"

I told him "Come on dude, there's a thyme and plaice."

I used to know an Italian chef.

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I feel horrible, he just ran out of thyme.
I am sending olive my love to his friends. His wife is really upset too. Cheese crying. He died fusilli reasons. I never sausage a tragic situation.
it was a farfalle from grace.

I was bored, so I spent all day re-arranging my spice rack, only for one of the herb jars to exploded all over me...

I've got way too much thyme on my hands

Why did the chef not finish his dish?

He ran out of thyme.

The store was out of my favorite seasoning...

Clear indication of the end of thyme.

Today my spice rack fell to the ground, making a big mess.

I finished cleaning all the rosemary and sage so now I have a lot of thyme on my hands.

I almost completed my collection of herbs and spices today!

But i didn't have the thyme.

If a recipe calls for you to turn off the heat and begin mincing your herbs to add to the dish, that step would be called:

Stop. Hammer thyme.

I spent 2 hours gathering herbs but ended up throwing them out.

It was a waste of thyme.

How do you end a prayer to the noodle God?


I relabeled all the spices in my mother's kitchen

She hasn't found out yet but the thyme is cumin

Just watched a 5-minute video of some guy throwing herbs in the garbage

What a complete waste of thyme

Last night, in bed, my wife asked me to put fresh fish and herbs on her.

I said, "There's a thyme and a plaice for that sort of thing."

I'd tell you a joke about herbs

But I don't have enough thyme to do that

Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef? He pasta way.

Looks like he ran out of thyme

Did y'all hear about the Italian chef that died?

He pasta way, but his legacy will become a pizza history. I'm sending olive my thought and prayers to his family. How sad that he ran out of thyme, here today gone tomato, we cannoli do so much. I never sausage a tragedy.

I have been secretly messing with people's spice racks...

You might not know it, but your thyme is cumin.

I saw a man drive through my city with a van full of herbs and spices

He was a thyme traveler

My best friend was a chef. He called last week to say that he found a hidden message in his herb and spice rack. He was quite paranoid and later that day he was found dead.

I should have believed him when he said his Thyme was running out.

Why cant the chef finish making his food?

He doesnt have thyme.

Have you noticed that some herbs taste much better at Christmas?

It's the most wonderful thyme of the year.

Thyme joke, Have you noticed that some herbs taste much better at Christmas?

jokes about thyme