The Best 78 Thyme Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Thyme jokes. There are some thyme gourmet jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these thyme cookery puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Thyme Jokes and Puns

There once was a man who used to collect spices from all over the world...

now he just doesn't have the thyme.

I spent the afternoon making a belt out of herbs;

What a waist of thyme.

I've finally finished my fresh herb cookbook

It's about thyme

Thyme joke, I've finally finished my fresh herb cookbook

Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

He was making up for lost thyme.

Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.

*Wow, thanks! I was expecting a much chilier reception, but your warm comments have kept those fears at bay (that's what you get for encouraging me :)*

I have a joke about fish and herbs.

But I don't think now is the thyme or the plaice to tell it.


Why couldn't the man open a fish and herb shop?

Because he didn't have the thyme or the plaice.

You hear about these new trains that can burn any organic matter for fuel?

They even run on thyme!

Thyme joke, You hear about these new trains that can burn any organic matter for fuel?

What do you call someone with a spice garden on Gallifrey?

A Thyme Lord.

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme.

I am getting around to writing my essay on herbs for my botany class...

It's about thyme

Which spice is the worst at keeping secrets?

Only thyme will tell.

You can explore thyme herb reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean thyme erotica dad jokes. There are also thyme puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I was alphabetising my spice rack...

when I realised I have too much spare thyme.

I once made a belt out of herbs.

It wasn't very useful and just ended up being a waist of thyme.

I lost a cooking contest.

I was so close, but I ran out of thyme.

There's a chef that doesn't bother putting gloves on before prepping his food

Now he's got a lot more thyme on his hands.

The wife and I were trying to spice things up in the bedroom...

so now I cumin her every thyme.

Thyme joke, The wife and I were trying to spice things up in the bedroom...

We should move to a herb based fuel economy

We can finally make the trains run on thyme.

What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?

"Well, this was a waste of Thyme."

I can't cook with spices right now...

...I just don't have the thyme.


What did the chef say to his assistant when he got handed the wrong ingredients?

This is neither the thyme nor the plaice.

There is a spice shortage...

There is a shortage of spices all around the world. One entrepreneur saw the shortage coming and stocked up. His advisor was pushing to sell it soon so that people could have all of their favorite dishes. The entrepreneur looked at his advisor and said "what's the rush? We've got all the thyme in the world."

A man in Victorian clothes just appeared out of thin air and handed me a fistful of herbs.

I think he might be a Thyme traveller.

A spice belt for chefs

Might be a waist of thyme

I asked a friend of mine what it was like being a herb farmer....

...He said its not so bad and that he had a lot of thyme on his hands.

Cooking is actually really easy for anyone to do

It's just that most people don't have thyme.

What basic skill do herb farmers always struggle with?

Thyme management

A chef, a clockmaker, and a thief walk into a bar, but the bartender says he doesn't get the joke.

They all say, "It's okay, these things take thyme."

Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta away
We cannoli do so much,
His legacy will become a pizza history.
Here today gone tomato.
How sad he ran out of thyme,
Sending olive my prayers to the family.
His wife is really upset, Cheese still not over it.
You never saussage a tragic thing.
Because
some people just want to watch the world burn!

I wanted to rearrange all the spices on my spice rack

But I couldn't find the thyme.

Did you hear about the Italian Chef who died?

He pasta way.
I never sausage a tragic thing.
He is now a pizza history.
Sending olive my support to his family.
We cannoli do so much though.
I feel for his wife. Cheese still not over it.
I guess he just ran out of thyme.

The herb with the most medicinal properties is Thyme...

It heals all wounds.

You know what they say about herbal medicine...

Thyme heals all wounds.

Why do gardeners hand out their herbs?

To pass the thyme.

Picking herbs is an awful job...

... It's very thyme consuming.

My girlfriend complained about her new bunny misbehaving

I said "just give her some thyme".

You can always tell when a chef is Russian.

They never put thyme into the dish!

My wife asked why the spaghetti sauce tasted odd

I told her I didn't have the thyme to make it right.

They finally released the book about my favourite seasoning

It's about thyme.

My wife told me to go to the store to get some herbs...

I said I have no thyme

I was unlucky to be sacked as a chef for using the incorrect fish and herbs

Wrong plaice, wrong thyme

What's the #1 rule of the spice trade?

Thyme is money.

My neighbor was very urgent when asking me for herbs.

He said that he was running out of thyme.

I got my fortune told by someone using herbs. I'm not sure if any of the predictions were accurate.

Only thyme will tell.

Why was the chef late to work?

He ran out of thyme

A couple of police officers taught me a valuable lesson about grocery stores.

Apparently, employees aren't supposed to have free thyme.

I was hosting a funeral for my goldfish, and my friend thought it was okay to ask "What herbs should I season which fish with?"

I told him "Come on dude, there's a thyme and plaice."

I used to know an Italian chef.

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I feel horrible, he just ran out of thyme.

I am sending olive my love to his friends. His wife is really upset too. Cheese crying. He died fusilli reasons. I never sausage a tragic situation.

it was a farfalle from grace.

I was bored, so I spent all day re-arranging my spice rack, only for one of the herb jars to exploded all over me...

I've got way too much thyme on my hands

When I do the gardening, I alphabetise my herbs, people often ask how I find the time.

I respond with "Easy, Thyme is right between the Tarragon and Turmeric"

Today my spice rack fell to the ground, making a big mess.

I finished cleaning all the rosemary and sage so now I have a lot of thyme on my hands.

I was going to make a joke about herbs and fish...

But this is neither the plaice nor the thyme to do so.

I relabeled all the jars in my mom's spice rack

I'm not in trouble yet but the thyme is cumin.

I almost completed my collection of herbs and spices today!

But i didn't have the thyme.

If a recipe calls for you to turn off the heat and begin mincing your herbs to add to the dish, that step would be called:

Stop. Hammer thyme.

I spent 2 hours gathering herbs but ended up throwing them out.

It was a waste of thyme.

A Vietnamese restaurant is offering herbed potato sticks served with a bowl of noodle soup.

Thyme fries when you're having pho.

I relabeled all the spices in my mother's kitchen

She hasn't found out yet but the thyme is cumin

Just watched a 5-minute video of some guy throwing herbs in the garbage

What a complete waste of thyme

Last night, in bed, my wife asked me to put fresh fish and herbs on her.

I said, "There's a thyme and a plaice for that sort of thing."

Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef? He pasta way.

Looks like he ran out of thyme

Did y'all hear about the Italian chef that died?

He pasta way, but his legacy will become a pizza history. I'm sending olive my thought and prayers to his family. How sad that he ran out of thyme, here today gone tomato, we cannoli do so much. I never sausage a tragedy.

I have been secretly messing with people's spice racks...

You might not know it, but your thyme is cumin.

Last week I was bored, so I decided to swap around the labels on my wifes spice rack. So far, she hasn't noticed.

Mark my words though, the thyme is cumin.

I saw a man drive through my city with a van full of herbs and spices

He was a thyme traveler

My best friend was a chef. He called last week to say that he found a hidden message in his herb and spice rack. He was quite paranoid and later that day he was found dead.

I should have believed him when he said his Thyme was running out.

I changed the tags of my mother's herb jars. She hasn't notice it yet..

But the thyme is cumin

Why cant the chef finish making his food?

He doesnt have thyme.

Why is it called Sesame Street?

They couldn't call it Thyme Square.

I spent over 3 hours making a belt out of herbs, but in hindsight...

it's just a waist of thyme.

I switched all the labels on my wife spice rack. I'm not in trouble yet....

but the thyme is cumin.

Why couldn't the chef make a tasty dish?

He never had enough thyme.
(I wish I could say my 4 year old came up with this, but I don't have kids.)

Have you noticed that some herbs taste much better at Christmas?

It's the most wonderful thyme of the year.

A man walks into a grocery store with a gunshot wound.

The grocer asks him if he needs a doctor.

The man says he just wants to know where the spice isle is.

Confused the grocer asks why and the man replies Because thyme heals all wounds.

What Does Enya Use To Season Her Food?

Only Thyme

Some worrying news for grammar Nazis, a new study shows...

that homophone misuse is at an awl thyme hi.

I've been sacked from my job as a chef after spending every shift chopping herbs instead of cooking meals.

They couldn't be dealing with thyme wasters.

I made a belt out of herbs ...

what a waist of thyme.

Did you hear Gordon Ramsay wrote a book about herbs?

It's about thyme!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the thyme spice jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working thyme chef piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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