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Thyme Herb Jokes

110 thyme herb jokes and hilarious thyme herb puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about thyme herb that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Thyme Herb Short Jokes

Short thyme herb jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The thyme herb humour may include short thyme jokes also.

  1. I changed the tags of my mother's herb jars. She hasn't notice it yet.. But the thyme is cumin
  2. I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up. Good thymes.
  3. I was unlucky to be sacked as a chef for using the incorrect fish and herbs Wrong plaice, wrong thyme
  4. My wife says I get way too overexcited when I cook and that I always end up using too many herbs in my dishes. So she told me to take a thyme out.
  5. Apparently adding herbs to your garbage can makes it smell better. But I don't have thyme for that rubbish.
  6. I have a joke about fish and herbs. But I don't think now is the thyme or the plaice to tell it.
  7. When I do the gardening, I alphabetise my herbs, people often ask how I find the time. I respond with "Easy, Thyme is right between the Tarragon and Turmeric"
  8. I've got a really good joke about a fish and some herbs But it neither the Thyme nor the Plaice
  9. I really need to plant some herbs of my own as soon as possible. I'm living on borrowed thyme.
  10. What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs? "Well, this was a waste of Thyme."

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Thyme Herb One Liners

Which thyme herb one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with thyme herb? I can suggest the ones about herb and spice and herbs.

  1. I spent the afternoon making a belt out of herbs; What a waist of thyme.
  2. We should move to a herb based fuel economy We can finally make the trains run on thyme.
  3. Did I ever tell you the joke about my favorite garden herb? No? Well, it's about thyme!
  4. I was bored so I made a robot to distribute herbs It helped pass the thyme
  5. I've finally finished my fresh herb cookbook It's about thyme
  6. I was going to make a joke about herbs But I don't have the thyme
  7. Did you hear Gordon Ramsay wrote a book about herbs? It's about thyme!
  8. I made a belt out of herbs ... what a waist of thyme.
  9. If you are not able to grow herbs. You should probably give it some thyme.
  10. Growing herbs can be very profitable After all, thyme is money
  11. Picking herbs is an awful job... ... It's very thyme consuming.
  12. The herb with the most medicinal properties is Thyme... It heals all wounds.
  13. I am getting around to writing my essay on herbs for my botany class... It's about thyme
  14. I almost completed my collection of herbs and spices today! But i didn't have the thyme.
  15. What basic skill do herb farmers always struggle with? Thyme management

Thyme Herb Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about thyme herb you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean herbs and spices jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make thyme herb pranks.

A chef wanted to study the benefits of adding various herbs to his dishes..

But he didn't have thyme for it.

Why couldn't the man open a fish and herb shop?

Because he didn't have the thyme or the plaice.

A cook's apprentice is throwing copious amounts of herbs into the dish

When the cook walks in and says "STOP WASTING MY THYME"

It's been five years, but I'm finally getting my book on herbs published...

It's about thyme.

When it comes to cooking herb-crusted fish...

...there's a thyme and a plaice.

I finally finished writing a book.

After procrastinating for years, I finally wrote the first instalment of what will become a series of books about herbs and spices.
It's about thyme.

Did you hear about the vegan what converted their car to run run on herbs?

They wanted to thyme travel!

Did you hear about the man who couldn't keep his herb garden under control?

He had bad thyme management.

I once made a belt out of herbs.

It wasn't very useful and just ended up being a waist of thyme.

Why do herb pickers have so many hobbies?

They've got a lot of thyme on their hands

Bought a belt of herbs today.

It was a waist of thyme.

I've never really got the point of herbs and seasoning...

I just think it's a waste of thyme.

A man in Victorian clothes just appeared out of thin air and handed me a fistful of herbs.

I think he might be a Thyme traveller.

An Italian herb seller gets a loan from the mafia.

Two weeks later, the boss walks in for his payment. Unable to pay his debt, the herb seller pleads for his life.
"Please sir, give me one more week!" he exclaims.
"No," responds the boss, "your thyme is up."

I asked a gardener which herbs were snitches...

He said only thyme would tell.

I asked a friend of mine what it was like being a herb farmer....

...He said its not so bad and that he had a lot of thyme on his hands.

Why did the guy spend the entire day throwing out his surplus of herbs?

He had too much thyme on his hands.

I've decided to start my own herb garden.

I've got a lot of extra Thyme.

I grow herbs in my bed.

Bed thyme.

What do you call a Herb grower...

...who harvests his Herbs just before they get bad?
Justin Thyme

2 weeks building a greenhouse for my herbs only to see it blown away in freak winds

What a waste of thyme!

An eagerly-awaited cook book "Cooking with Herbs" finally released!

It's about thyme.

What's Cyndi Lauper's favorite herb?

Thyme after Thyme

I was at a f**... the other day and a couple in front of me were loudly arguing about which herb goes best with which fish…

I could only think it wasn't the Thyme or Plaice…

Why do gardeners hand out their herbs?

To pass the thyme.

What did the herb say to the olive?

We're running out of thyme.

My wife told me to go to the store to get some herbs...

I said I have no thyme

Monsanto now produce every single herb, globally.

They have all the thyme in the world.

If you break your leg... put some herbs on it.

I mean, thyme heals all wounds.

What did one herb say to the other when they he was late?

It is parsley thyme, oregano go to work?

My mom asked me to throw some herbs in our dinner...

I told her I didn't have the thyme.

My neighbor was very urgent when asking me for herbs.

He said that he was running out of thyme.

I got my fortune told by someone using herbs. I'm not sure if any of the predictions were accurate.

Only thyme will tell.

TIL Italian scientists in the 1920's discovered they could power engines with common herbs and spices

Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.

Did you know that herbs are a good fuel source?

Yes, Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.

I was hosting a f**... for my goldfish, and my friend thought it was okay to ask "What herbs should I season which fish with?"

I told him "Come on dude, there's a thyme and plaice."

Did you hear about the chef who spilled his herbs on the floor?

Cleaning it up was a massive waste of thyme.

My girlfriend left me because she said I focus too much on growing and giving away herbs for really low prices

Now I don't know what to do with all this free thyme on my hands

I was thinking about doing a practical joke involving herbs

But I'm not gonna waste my thyme

I was bored, so I spent all day re-arranging my spice rack, only for one of the herb jars to exploded all over me...

I've got way too much thyme on my hands

What's the problem with manually plucking herbs all day?

You've got too much thyme on your hands.

A woman once claimed she could hit me from across the kitchen with a fancy bottle of herbs.

I told her not to threaten me with a good thyme.

I was going to make a joke about herbs and fish...

But this is neither the plaice nor the thyme to do so.

If a recipe calls for you to turn off the heat and begin mincing your herbs to add to the dish, that step would be called:

Stop. Hammer thyme.

What do you say when you finally get the book about the history of herbs you've been waiting for?

It's about thyme.

I spent 2 hours gathering herbs but ended up throwing them out.

It was a waste of thyme.

How do you end a prayer to the noodle God?

Ramen.

Just watched a 5-minute video of some guy throwing herbs in the garbage

What a complete waste of thyme

Last night, in bed, my wife asked me to put fresh fish and herbs on her.

I said, "There's a thyme and a plaice for that sort of thing."

I'd tell you a joke about herbs

But I don't have enough thyme to do that

I saw a man drive through my city with a van full of herbs and spices

He was a thyme traveler

My best friend was a chef. He called last week to say that he found a hidden message in his herb and spice rack. He was quite paranoid and later that day he was found dead.

I should have believed him when he said his Thyme was running out.

I spent over 3 hours making a belt out of herbs, but in hindsight...

it's just a waist of thyme.

Have you noticed that some herbs taste much better at Christmas?

It's the most wonderful thyme of the year.

I've been sacked from my job as a chef after spending every shift chopping herbs instead of cooking meals.

They couldn't be dealing with thyme wasters.

Too Much

My friend filled an entire swimming pool up with herbs.

He had a lot of thyme on his hands.

Sorry to anyone who felt my joke about herbs and fish was inappropriate.

I realise there's a thyme and a plaice for these things...

My wife left me because, according to her, I talk about herbs and spices too much.

Oh well.... It was probably thyme.

A couple goes to therapy

A couple goes to therapy to discuss their issues.
The therapist asks. So, why are we here today?
The husband quickly try to explain.
So what happened was, that I was cleaning up in the kitchen, while putting something away I spilled a bunch of dried herbs all over the place. My wife then yells for help with folding the sheets in the bedroom and I simply replied.
"I can't right now, I have too much thyme on my hands"

Did you hear about the guy who owned the Earth's supply of herbs?

He had all the thyme in the world

Did you see the movie about the dinosaurs that couldn't find the herbs?

It was the land before thyme.

I have a suspicion that certain herbs can talk...

Only thyme will tell.

I've always wondered why my local grocery store has trouble keeping the herbs stocked.

I guess there's just never enough thyme.