Following is our collection of Thursday jokes which are very funny. There are some thursday friday jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these thursday morning puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
The Gregorian calendar
A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!
but there are no women on the ship and being male,he had some...urges, so he asked the captain " arr its been 6 months since we've had a lass on the ship and some of the others are getting urges. what can we do about them??" and the captain responds" go down to the front of the ship and there will be a barrel, stick your privates in there and go at it." so he did as he was told and when he was done he came back. he told the captain " captain! that was great! how many times can i use it????" and the captain turned to him and said " every day except thursday." and the pirate asked " why?" the captain responded " aye, because thats your turn to be in the barrel."
One remarked, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday..."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench.
The first says to her friends "gosh, it's windy today".
The second says "no, it's Thursday".
The third says "so am I. Let's get a drink".
For people who are sad about being single: it's called Single Awareness Day
For people who are happy about being single: it's called Single Independence Day
For people who just don't care about being single: it's just called Thursday
For people like me: I call it Date With My Right Hand otherwise known as Everyday
so long as I die by noon, thursday.
One says, "Windy today."
Another says, "You idiot, it's Thursday."
The third guy says, "Me too, let's go get a beer."
Ahh, those were the days...
One of them says,
"Brr, it's windy today, ain't it?"
The second man responds,
"No, it's Thursday you idiot."
The last one says,
"Me too, let's go get a drink."
The first old man says "Hey, it's Windy"
The second old man says "No, Thursday"
The third one says "I agree, lets go get a beer"
You can explore thursday tue reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean thursday weekday dad jokes. There are also thursday puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
His funeral will be held on Thursday at 2pm.
Drinks them, and leaves.
Next week same time does the same thing: orders 4 beers, drinks them, and leaves.
The third week; same thing. The bartender is curious so he asks. "well, I moved here few weeks ago. Back home my 3 brothers and I met every Thursday after work for a beer. Since I was feeling homesick I figured I would keep up the tradition even if I had to do it alone."
This goes on for several weeks until one week the man comes in and orders three beers and a coke. Bartender says, "I hate to pry but what happened? Did one of your brothers pass away?"
The man chuckles and says, "No nothing like that. I decided to quit drinking."
Tuesday, Thursday and Today.
Now I'm nervous for my dentist appointment on Thursday.
"Hello, this is Xfinity home security. We see your alarm is going off and we can have someone respond to it next week Thursday between 8 Am and 5 pm, will that work for you?"
Three old men are walking down the street one afternoon. The first one remarks "Windy, isn't it?"
The second one says "Nah! It's Thursday."
The third one nods and replies "So am I, let's stop for a drink."
One says "Wow, it sure is windy."
Another corrects, "No, it's Thursday."
The last one says "So am I, let's go inside and drink some tea."
"How would you feel if you don't see me for next few days?" His wife said
He couldn't believe his luck. He replied at once. "Wowww.....That would be great!''
Monday passed & he didn't see her....
Tuesday he didn't see her...
and Wednesday passed too...
On Thursday the swelling was better as he caught a glimpse of her from the corner of his left eye.
If I die next Thursday
Tuesday, Thursday, today and tomorrow
Tired of racking his brain, he flat out asked her what she wanted. She replied "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds." So he bought her a bathroom scale.
Dave hasn't been heard from or seen since Thursday.
A trajeudi
... as long as I die on Thursday.
Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday, Thunday.
Almost on Sunday
Almost on Monday
Almost on Tuesday
Almost on Wednesday
Almost on Thursday
Almost on Friday
And almost on Saturday
An Irishman was killed by an assassin in his own home Thursday. Sources say the assailant was armed only with 2 porcelain figures. After beating the man to death, the assassin threw the body to several mongrel dogs that lived in a nearby wooded area.
Police claim it's the first known case of a Knick-Knack Paddy whack, give a dog a bone.
It's Alzheimers day on thursday...
Old guy 1. Boy, it sure is windy.
Old guy 2. No it's not! It's Thursday!
Old guy 1. Yeah me too. Lets go get a beer.
I replied "because it's only Thursday"
According to the Associated Press,
witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied,
confused, punchy, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered,
mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, flabbergasted,
astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, boggled,
overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, and perplexed.
Nearly on Monday,
nearly on Tuesday,
nearly on Wednesday,
nearly on Thursday,
nearly on Friday,
nearly on Saturday and
nearly on Sunday
Gregorian Calendar.
But thank God I have a few twix up my sleeve
"SURE IS WINDY TODAY!"
"IT'S THURSDAY!"
"ME TOO! I THINK THERE'S A BAR JUST UP THE ROAD!"
Monday: Greg
Tuesday: Ian
Wednesday: Greg
Thursday: Ian
Friday: Greg
Gregorian Calendar.
After a long, tough, life Mr Gunther, born on 21.06.1946 on a beautyfull suny day.
He has found his rest and peace.
The funeral of his wife will be held on Thursday.
And if you really enjoy facts about Norse Gods then today is your Loki-day!
"How's your sex life?" asked the doctor.
"Every Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday, never fail", said George.
"Why not cut out Sunday?", suggested the doctor.
"I can't do that. It's the only day I'm home."
That means my milk has a date on Valentines Day, and I still don't.
On Tuesday, he again told 1 lie.
On Wednesday, he told 2 lies.
On Thursday, 3.
On Friday, 5.
On Saturday, 8.
And on Sunday, Hitler told 13 lies.
That is the fibber-Nazi sequence.
First one says "It's windy." Second one says, "No, It's Thursday." Third one says "Me too, let's go get a beer."
Isn't it windy? the first man asks.
No, says the second, it's Thursday.
Agreed, says the third man, let's go grab a beer.
So this is how the Gregorian calendar was created.
She sees her co worker Steve & says "TGIF". Steve has a puzzled look on his face and replies "NSIT". Ever more puzzled the blonde replies "TGIF, thank God it's Friday". Steve then says "NSIT, no stupid it's Thursday"
The neighbourhood applauding me as I finish is just the confident booster I need
It will be a sadder day.
A one that died on Thursday...
„It's windy today!
„No, it's Thursday! replies the one walking in the middle, looking a bit confused.
„So am I! Let's have a beer. adds the third one
The bartender looks at him quizzically and says Mate. Why the hell do you have a pineapple on your head?! The man answers Oh, it's ok. I always wear a pineapple on my head on Tuesdays. The bartender says But it's Thursday... Upon hearing this the man's face changes to a look of abject horror and he says Oh God! I'm so embarrassed!!
The first says "Windy isn't it?"
The second replies "No it's not, it's Thursday"
The third then says "Yeah, so am I. Let's go get a drink"
It'll be sadder day then
He was as good as his word. The funeral is Thursday.
would've helped. Funeral's Thursday.
Then it would be a sadder day (Saturday)
Train all of the Amazon drivers to give it.
Everyone will have it by Saturday.
Thursday if you have Prime.
Friends: no way!
Me: yup! Almost on a Monday.. almost on a Tuesday.. almost on a Wednesday.. almost on a Thursday, almost on a Friday, almost on a Saturday and almost on a Sunday!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the thursday mon jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working thursday monday piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.