Throwing Rocks Jokes
64 throwing rocks jokes and hilarious throwing rocks puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about throwing rocks that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Throwing Rocks Short Jokes
Short throwing rocks jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The throwing rocks humour may include short throwing stones jokes also.
- So last year I started a tradition, I carry a pebble and throw it at anyone who sings Christmas songs before December.... I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.
- I was going to participate in a competition to see how many times I could throw a rock on the water... But I skipped it.
- At the beach house, we had a major problem with sea birds. I started throwing rocks at them. I left no Tern unstoned.
- I was so poor growing up and our house was so small that. you could throw one rock through our front window and hit everyone in the house
- When I was young I would go and throw rocks at the man doing Taekwondo in the park I would always get a huge kick out of it
- I can throw rocks further than catapults. I mean, have you ever *tried* throwing a catapult?
- My wife ran inside terrified after throwing rocks and cursing at the people walking towards our house wielding chainsaws this morning... Can anyone recommend another gardening company?
- My friends dared me to throw a rock at my neighbour's window I was too nervous. I guess I'll be boulder next time.
- Bill Gates had vandals throwing rocks at his house. Not much damage but he's had to reinstall his Windows.
- Why does Cotton Hill from "King of the Hill" like to throw rocks? Because Jesus said, "Let he who is without shins cast the first stone."
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Throwing Rocks One Liners
Which throwing rocks one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with throwing rocks? I can suggest the ones about sticks and stones and rock climbing.
- What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.
- I was wondering why a guy was throwing rocks at me And then it hit me.
- You throw a red rock into the blue ocean, what does it become? Wet. The rock becomes wet.
- Why should you not throw stones at a knight? Because heavy metal is harder than rock.
- How do you know you are in Poland? People throw rocks at the ground and miss.
- A man managed to throw a rock 5280ft. Let's celebrate his milestone
- what happens when you throw a rock at a dumpster a cat comes out
- I like my women like I like my skippin' rocks Skinny and easy to throw
- Chuck norris can throw a rock at you... looking the other way.
- I got a pet rock named Bruce. Because when I throw it at someone they always bruce.
- What happens when you throw a purple rock into the Pacific Ocean? It goes *splash*
- Wanna know how to defeat Edward Scissorhands? Just throw rock.
- What do you call it when you catcall someone and throw rocks at them? s**... basalt.
- Why do l**... always lose at rock paper scissors? They keep throwing down scissors
Great Throwing Rocks Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about throwing rocks you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean digging holes jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make throwing rocks pranks.
My favorite joke since I was a kid
Two guys are walking down the side of the road in a rural area somewhere. All of a sudden, in the middle of the road, a huge hole appears. Curious, the two men peer down inside to see how deep it goes, but can't see the bottom. One saunters to the side of the road to find a pebble, throws it in, and listens; they don't hear it hit bottom. The other goes to the side to find a larger rock, throws it in, and listens; they still don't hear it hit bottom. They look at each other, and go find a log off to the side of the road, roll it in, and wait for it to hit bottom. All of a sudden, a goat runs out of the woods at high speed, and jumps down the hole. They look at each other quizzically, shrug, and keep walking. A few minutes later, an exasperated farmer steps onto the road out of the brush. He looks at the men and asks "Have either of you seen a goat around here?" The men look at the farmer and say "Yes, actually. A goat came out of the woods back there and jumped into this giant hole." The farmer replies "That couldn't have been my goat; my goat was tied to a log."
Probably my favorite joke ever.
Two guys are walking through the woods when they stumble upon an old abandoned mine shaft so deep that they can't see the bottom. Intrigued, one of them throws a rock into it to see how deep it is. After listening for quite a while, they never hear it hit the bottom. The other one grabs a bigger rock and hefts it down. They still don't hear it hit bottom. Now they are really curious how deep it is. After a minute of searching, one of them finds a huge railroad tie and signals for his buddy to come help. It takes a bit of work, but they wrestle it to the edge of the hole and push it over. Out of nowhere, a goat comes running right between them, jumping into the mineshaft!
Amazed at what just happened, they start walking away when a park ranger walks up and asks them if they have seen a goat anywhere.
"Yeah, one just ran right between us and jumped into that old mineshaft over there!"
"No, that couldn't be my goat," said the ranger, "mine was tied to a railroad tie."
Harry is taking a stroll through the woods....
...when he finds a large hole in the ground. The hole seems ridiculously deep, so Harry takes a small rock and throws it down the hole. Then he listens for the sound of the rock hitting the ground below. He doesn't hear anything, so next he tries a larger rock. Still, no sound. He looks around for something larger, and he finds an old railroad tie. He lifts up the railroad tie and chucks it down the hole. Still no sound.
Then out of NOWHERE, Harry sees a goat charging at him full speed from behind. Harry dives out of the way, then watches as the goat charges strait down the hole.
Harry is sitting there, perplexed, when a farmer approaches Harry and asks
Farmer: "Hey son, you haven't seen a goat around here have you?"
Harry: "Actually, Yes I did! It was the strangest thing, a goat just charged me full speed! I was just able to get out of the way. THEN the goat ran strait down that hole over there" as Harry points to the hole.
Farmer: "That's impossible, I tied that goat to a railroad tie"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys are walking through the woods...
...and come across this big deep hole.
"Wow...that looks deep."
"Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."
They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait. No noise.
"Jeeez. That is REALLY deep... here.. throw one of these great big rocks
down there. Those should make a noise."
They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and
wait...and wait. Nothing.
They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his face and
says, "Hey...over here in the weeds, there's a railroad tie. Help me carry
it over here. When we toss THAT s**... in, it's
GOTTA make some noise."
The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a sound
comes from the hole.
Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It
rushes toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as its legs
will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air and into the hole.
The two men are astonished with what they've just seen. Then out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over.
"Hey... you two guys seen my goat out here?"
"You bet we did!
Craziest thing I ever seen. It came running like crazy and just jumped
into this hole!"
"Nah", says the farmer, "That couldn't have been MY goat. My goat
was chained to a railroad tie."
A Senior Officer and his Recruit
Once upon a time in the army, there was an extremely unreasonable and terrifying Officer. Everyone despised him. One day, the Officer slipped on wet rocks and fell into a river. And this Officer could not swim! A young recruit walked by and spotted him. Without hesitation, he dove in and rescued the man. Out of the water, the Officer gratefully thanked the recruit," Recruit, you saved my life! I'll do anything for you, just name one thing!" The recruit thought over it, and said," Okay, how about you do not every mention this to anyone?" The Officer was puzzled, "But why? Don't you want to be a hero?" The recruit glanced around nervously," If they find out, they'll throw ME into the river next!"
Three men are fishing..
Three men are fishing on a pond and no one's catching anything, so to make things interesting one throws in a rock and says "wow did you just see that fish jump!?"
The second guy replies "Nah, how much do you think it weighed," to which the third man, who saw the rock thrown says "Musta weighed at least a stone!"
This happened, I was the third guy, but neither of my buddies got the joke so now I retell it to get the (much deserved) laughs I was supposed to get two weeks ago.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So this atheist explorer is in trouble...
...with a tribe of savage cannibals. He's cornered with no possible way out when he exclaims in his desperation 'God, I'm s**...!'
Suddenly the clouds part and a booming voice says 'No son, you are not. Take that rock near your right foot and throw it at that old cannibal with the large headdress!'
The explorer obeys, and the chief of the tribe lies dead on the ground.
The voice says 'NOW you're s**...!'
A man tries to rob a record store...
... by stealing many valuable vinyls. However, a sharp-eyed-shopper caught him in the act. He shouted out, "Hey! This guy's trying to shoplift!" to the rest of the store. The thief tried to run away, but the shopper grabbed a record and threw it at the man, knocking him over. Several other shoppers noticed, and joined in on the act, ransacking the *Hard Rock* section for vinyls to throw at the thief, beating and bruising him all over with their throws.
Eventually, the mob ran out of vinyls to throw from the *Hard Rock* section. So, they went over the neighboring section, *Folk Rock*, and grabbed even more records to throw at the thief. However, to their astonishment, the records had no effect. The discs bounced off the man like he was invulnerable to them. Astounded, the sharp-eyed shopper asked, "How are you not getting hurt?"
The thief replied, "Styx and the Stones may break my bones, but Byrds will never hurt me."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Got c**...? Pour whisky and sand down there...
They get drunk and throw rocks at each other.
There is a man drowning 100 feet from shore and is crying for help.......
A Democrat shows up and throws him 200 feet of rope. The excess rope weighs the victim down and he drowns.
A Republican shows up and throws out 50 feet of rope and demands that the victim take some responsibility for himself and swim to the rope. He can't and drowns.
A libertarian shows up and shrugs it isn't my problem and just goes away; the victim drowns.
A bunch of Tea Party types show up. One throws the victim a heavy rock; the victim drowns and all of the tea partiers cheer.
A Green Party member shows up. He yells at the victim for polluting the water. The victim drowns.
What happens when you throw 3 purple, 7 blue, and 5 orange stones into the red sea at the same time?
You get a pile of wet rocks
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A rabbit's home floods so he visits a fox.
"Could I c**... by your place a little bit." said the rabbit.
The fox smiles and throws his head against a rock.
Dumb fox.
A guy gets a call his wife is in labor...
He rushes off to the hospital, but gets stuck in traffic. By the time he gets to the hospital his wife has already had the baby. So he heads down to the nursery to see his new baby. He sees his child sleeping and a nurse walks up and ask, " is this your baby?" The nurse picks up the baby and holds the child up to the father and gently rocks him, the dad is in awe... she takes the baby and throws it against the wall. The dad freaks out and starts screaming and the nurse tells him to calm down...
" I was kidding, it was a still born."
3 Belgians are sitting next to a river
3 Belgians are sitting next to a river, A crocodile swims past and they start to throw rocks at it. The crocodile gets angry and begins to swim towards them. 2 of them run and climb in a tree. They shout to the other "Why are you staying there, you better run before the crocodile comes!"
He replies "Why I didn't throw any Rocks"
The four kids....
The four kids sat on four different chairs in front of the principal looking rather sad.
Why did you get sent here? asked the principal to the boy sitting far right.
I threw rock into the water.
Okey, that's a weird reason for your teacher to send you here responded the principal as he turned his head towards the second boy what about you?
I also threw rock into the water. answered the second boy.
The principal looked surprised and turned towards the third boy, whom also said that he threw rock into the water.
Finally the principal faced towards the last and fourth boy.
Let me guess, you also got sent here for throwing a rock?
No said the fourth boy I am Rock
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TIL that when Diogenes, the ancient Greek philosopher, noticed a p**...'s son throwing rocks at a crowd, he said, "Careful, son. Don't hit your father."
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Mary Magdalene is about to be s**... for adultry
Just as the crowd was about to start throwing rocks, Jesus walks up and says "let him who is without sin cast the first stone." Nobody moves, but then a stone comes flying out from the crowd and hits Mary right in the face. Jesus turns to see who threw the stone and says "I told you not to bother me when I'm working mother!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you get s**... in space?
Moon rocks! The lower gravity let's you throw them much better.
People in my town are so mean...
At any time, you could throw a rock and hit an angry person.
(Probably not original but just thought of it)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A p**...'s son is throwing rocks at a crowd
Someone in the crowd shouts:
"Careful, you might hit your father."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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My friend asked me if i miss him... I said ...
With every rock I throw and every bullet I shoot.
An engineer, an architect and a mathematician are trapped in a cave with nothing but a can of food each and they want to get the cans open so that they can eat.
The engineer finds a rock and taps it against the weak spot of the can. The architect throws the can against the wall in a way that doesn't collapse the cave. The mathematician then announces loudly to the other two, Let my can be open, how do we close it?
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Since we're doing translations, here's one from Mexico:
On the first day back from summer vacation, the teacher asked the students what they did over the summer and if they got any nicknames.
Juan goes first: "I spent my summer working with my dad laying bricks!"
Teacher: "did you have a nickname?
Juan: "Yes, the brick mason's son"
Maria goes next: "I spent the summer baking bread with my dad and they called me the baker's daughter"
The teacher calls on Pepito, who seemed to be day dreaming in the corner.
Pepito: "Well, I spent my summer climbing on the roof and throwing rocks at whoever passed by."
Teacher: "Oh, I see. Did you have a nickname?
Pepito: "Yeah, it was 'GET DOWN HERE YOU SON OF A b**...!'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Sherlock Holmes and Watson are out hunting. Watson has a buck in his sights, when holmes throws a rock near it, and, frightened, it runs away. "What the h**... was that?!" He asks. Holmes looks at him for a second..
It sedimentary. My deer, Watson.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Around this time of the year, I start carrying around a stone with me to throw at people who are singing Christmas songs already.
It's my jingle bell rock.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I always carry a stone with me that I use to throw at people who play Christmas music in October.
I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.