The Best 62 Throw Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Throw jokes. There are some throw javelin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these throw thrower puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Throw Jokes and Puns

3 guys are on a boat and they have 4 cigarettes but nothing to light them with. What do they do?

They throw one cigarette off the boat and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

What do you do with an epileptic in a bathtub?

Throw your laundry in with them.

The saddest joke I've heard

My wife ran off with my best friend...
Now, when I throw the stick, it just lays there.

Throw joke, The saddest joke I've heard

Can the ninja throw his ninja stars?

Shurikan

Three guys are on a boat with four cigarettes, but they don't have any matches or lighters. What do they do?

They throw one cigarette overboard and the entire boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

*Stolen from BuzzFeed, but I thought it was hilarious.*


I hate when I'm driving and I see people text and drive.

It makes me want to throw my beer can at them.

What do Jews throw when they riot?

Mozeltov Cocktails

Throw joke, What do Jews throw when they riot?

How do you make the best Harlem Shake video?

You throw a flashbang into a room of epileptic children.

The NFL has hired their first female referee.

She will throw the flag for penalties the team committed 5 years ago.

There are 2 people on a boat…

There are two people on a boat; they have three cigarettes. However, they don't have a lighter. What do they do?

They throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat *became a cigarette lighter!*

There are three men in a boat in the middle of the ocean with four cigarettes, no lighter or any matches. What do they do?

They throw one of the cigarettes overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

You can explore throw flung reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean throw lob dad jokes. There are also throw puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with.

So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

I met a ninja and asked if he could throw those pointy stars that ninjas have.

He said, "shuriken."

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...

After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..

"It's simple" billionaire boasts...
"I faked my age"

"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.

With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
"85 years old"

What do you do when an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw your dirty laundry in there with some detergent.

An American, a Brit and a Mexican are sitting in a helicopter.

The Brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!"

The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!"

The American proceeds to throw the Mexican out of the helicopter.

"Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the Brit.

The American turns around. "He killed my wife."

Throw joke, An American, a Brit and a Mexican are sitting in a helicopter.

Three men brought four cigarettes onto a boat, but then realized they had no lighters or matches. What do they do?

Throw one cigarette off the boat and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

How can you tell an ant's gender?

1. Get a glass full of water
2. Throw the ant into the glass
3. If it sinks, it's girl ant
4. If it floats, it's boy ant

Throwing acid is wrong...

...in some people's eyes.


The trump family is flying from New York to DC

Donald looks down on the cities below and says "I think I'll throw a 1000$ bill out of the window and make some american happy. Melanie says "Oh honey why not throw 10 100$ bills and make 10 americans happy?"
So then Ivanka says "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out of the window and make 100 americans happy?" To that the pilot says " Why dont you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

When I am tasked with sorting through a stack of rΓ©sumΓ©s, I throw about half of them in the garbage.

I do not want unlucky people working in our company

My in-laws couldn't cope when their cat unexpectedly had 9 kittens, so my wife told me to put them in a sack and throw them in the river…

I did it but it broke my heart.

I quite liked her dad…

If you ever get thrown into jail

Introduce yourself as the mitochondria...

You're the powerhouse of the cell.

Whenever I get a stack of resumes, I throw half of them in the trash

I sure don't want unlucky people on my team.

Please don't throw cigarette butts in urinals.

It makes them soggy and hard to light.

My neighbor's in the guinness book of records.

He's had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me, in fact it's just a stone's throw away.

Two guys were walking though the Sahara

They suddenly see a tiger approaching .

One guy throws sand in the tiger's eyes and he runs away.

The other guy keeps standing still.

"RUN MAN, WHY ARE YOU STANDING STILL??"

"Well I didn't throw the sand at him"

Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.

Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.

Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

A man called the hotel manager...

He said "Come up quickly, I fought with my wife and now she wants to throw herself out the window!". The manager replied "Sir this is a personal matter and we can't get involved. I can call sec..." The man interrupted "No! This is a maintenance issue. The window won't open!".

My brother and I made a $50 bet on who could throw meat the furthest into the air

I guess you could say the steaks have never been higher.

What do you do if an epileptic has a seizure in your pool?

Throw in your laundry.

My wife was cleaning the closet last week

Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing, I think I should donate them

Me: Just throw them in trash, that's much easier

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes

Me: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

BANG@#$%^&*

Wife tells her husband

Wife: "I got a bag full of clothes i don't wear anymore. I want to donate them."

Husband: "Why do you want to donate them? Just throw them away."

Wife: "There are poor starving people, who might need some clothes that weren't worn a lot."

Husband: "Women who fit in your clothes are not starving."

Leave a man on a plane and he flies for a day.

Throw a man off a plane and he flies for the rest of his life.

How do Youο»Ώ Drown a Hipster?

Throw him into the mainstream.

How many cops does it take to throw a black guy down the stairs?

None. He fell.

If there's one thing that makes me throw up

It's a dart board on a ceiling

A father has two sons named Joe and Mikey and the live on the third floor of their apartment.

One day the father goes to store, but leaves the key to his car in the apartment. He see's Joe in the window and shouts to him, "throw my key out the window!"

Sadly, Mikey didn't survive the fall

I used to have a girlfriend who, whenever she had a bad headache, would go into the cupboard, find my oats I'd normally eat for breakfast and then throw them in the garbage.

Apparently she couldn't cope with my grains.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim find a pile of coins

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim find a pile of coins.

They start arguing what they should take and what they should give to God.

The Christian draws a circle and says, We throw the coins into he air, and whatever lands in the circle, we keep.

The Muslim says, No no no. Whatever lands outside the circle we keep.

The Jew says, How about we throw it in the air, and whatever God wants, he keeps, and whatever falls to the ground we keep.

A drunk goes into a bar

A drunk goes into a bar. The bartender tosses him out as he is too drunk. The drunk walks back into the bar. Again, the bartender throws him out for being too drunk. Again the drunk walks into the bar. The bartender is just about the throw him out when the drunk looks at him and says, "How many bars do you own, anyway?"

What do you call a game where Germans throw bread at each other

Gluten tag

Can a ninja throw a star?

Sure he can.

A tourist in London was throwing bread to some ducks in a pond...

when a local woman approached him looking rather upset. She asked him how he could throw bread in the water for ducks when there were starving children in Africa? Wasn't it obvious that they could use that bread more than the ducks?

The man stood there for a short moment and responded to the woman saying, "I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't throw that far."

Three priests gathered together for a drink .

During their get together ,the host ask the other two :

- How do you split your money with the Lord ?

"I draw a line on the floor in my church ,then ,i throw the money in the air ,whatever is on my side I get to keep ,whatever falls on his side he keeps it" sais the first priest.

The second one replies "well I draw circle and then I' throw the money in the air ,whatever falls inside the circle is mine ,whatever Falls outside the circle is His" .

"How do you split your money ?" they both ask the host priest.

I' just throw the money in the air and he keeps whatever he wants.

After winning the game, I decided to throw the ball to the spectators...

Apparently that's frowned upon in bowling.

After winning the game I decided to throw my ball into the crowd

Apparently that's frowned upon in bowling

Son : Dad, how do I catch fish?

Dad : Just throw this clickbait into the water

Son : And then what?

Dad : What happens next will shock you

I was sitting on a bus with a friend and he told me this joke...

What do you do if you see an Epileptic having a fit in the bath?

Throw in your laundry.

The guy behind us leaned over and said "I think that's disgusting. My son died in the bath whilst having a fit."

We both went white and apologised. The guy got up to get off and said, "he choked on a sock."

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After hnoeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...

After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..

β€ŸIt is simple billionaire boasts....
β€ŸI faked my age

β€ŸYes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you're? A friend asks.

With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
β€Ÿ85 years old

For Christmas, I bought my wife a world map and gave her a dart. I told her to throw it and wherever it lands, we will go on vacation after this pandemic is over.

Turns out we are spending two weeks behind the fridge.

A man got arrested for having drugs in his pocket.

"Officer," he said, "I can explain."

-How? -the officer replied.

"Every time I throw those drugs in the toilet, they magicaly reappear in my pocket."

-Don't lie to me. -says the officer.

"Let me show you then."

So the officer allows him to show it. A man takes out drugs, throw it in the toilet and fushes the water.

-Let me see your pocket now. -says the officer.

"My pockets?"

-Yes, to see those drugs.

"What drugs?"

Granddad could tell a tale

He used to say that as a boy he had the strongest arm in the county. He said he could throw a stick so hard that it would take his dog an hour to retrieve it.


To me that always seemed far-fetched.

My girl said she had enough of my mansplaining. She said the next time I do it, she'll throw me into a deep hole filled with water

I know she means well.

There are three guys on a boat, and they have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with – what do they do?

They throw one cigarette overboard, and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

had to throw out my carbon monoxide detector tonight.

All that beeping was giving me a headache and making me dizzy.

A husband walks into his bedroom to find his wife pulling all her clothes out of the closet.

"What's going on here?"

The wife replies that she's just looking for stuff to donate.

"Why don't you just throw them out?" The husband asks.

"Dear! There are so many unfortunate people who could use these clothes!"

The husband replies without missing a beat, "Honey, I know you mean well but anyone who can afford to eat enough to fit in your clothes isn't exactly unfortunate!"

What happens when a vegan gets mad?

They throw a tempeh tantrum.

Two blonde builders were working on a house.

One blonde was on a ladder nailing. She'd reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, look at it, and either toss it over her shoulder or proceed to nail it into the wood.
The other blonde couldn't stand it any longer and yelled up, "Why are you throwing some of the nails away?"
The first blonde explained, "When I pull it out of my nail pouch, if it's pointed toward me I throw it away. If it's pointed toward the house, then I can use it!"
The second blonde explained, "Don't throw away those nails that are pointed toward you! They're for the other side of the house!!"

Why does a ghost throw himself off of a bridge?

Banshee jumping

My neighbor's dog keeps going in my yard

I tell my neighbor politely a few times to keep his dog in his yard, but every evening I come out to a fresh pile.

I tell him to clean it up, but he never does, so I give him an ultimatum: The next time your dog comes into my yard I am going to cook him.

The next day, sure as anything, the dog shits in my yard. So I grab the little nuisance and kennel him as I throw a big steak on my cast iron skillet set over a fire.

My neighbor comes out, horrified, and says I had an over-reaction.

I point to the crust on the steak and say No, this is just a my-yard reaction.

Why did the astronaut throw away his vegetarian burger?

He wanted something *meteor*.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the throw threw jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working throw dump piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes