The Best 64 Throw Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Throw jokes. There are some throw javelin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these throw thrower puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Throw Jokes and Puns

3 guys are on a boat and they have 4 cigarettes but nothing to light them with. What do they do?

They throw one cigarette off the boat and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

What do you do with an epileptic in a bathtub?

Throw your laundry in with them.

The saddest joke I've heard

My wife ran off with my best friend...
Now, when I throw the stick, it just lays there.

Throw joke, The saddest joke I've heard

Can the ninja throw his ninja stars?

Shurikan

Three guys are on a boat with four cigarettes, but they don't have any matches or lighters. What do they do?

They throw one cigarette overboard and the entire boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

*Stolen from BuzzFeed, but I thought it was hilarious.*


A little girl and her mother are at Church...

...when the little girl starts to feel sick. Her mother tells her to go throw up in the bushes behind the church.

When the little girl returns, her mother asks her if she threw up.
"Yes," the girl says. "But I didn't have to go all the way around the back. There was a box near the front door that said 'For the Sick.'"

I hate when I'm driving and I see people text and drive.

It makes me want to throw my beer can at them.

Throw joke, I hate when I'm driving and I see people text and drive.

What do Jews throw when they riot?

Mozeltov Cocktails

How do you make the best Harlem Shake video?

You throw a flashbang into a room of epileptic children.

The NFL has hired their first female referee.

She will throw the flag for penalties the team committed 5 years ago.

There are 2 people on a boat…

There are two people on a boat; they have three cigarettes. However, they don't have a lighter. What do they do?

They throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat *became a cigarette lighter!*

You can explore throw flung reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean throw lob dad jokes. There are also throw puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


There are three men in a boat in the middle of the ocean with four cigarettes, no lighter or any matches. What do they do?

They throw one of the cigarettes overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with.

So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

I met a ninja and asked if he could throw those pointy stars that ninjas have.

He said, "shuriken."

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...

After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..

"It's simple" billionaire boasts...
"I faked my age"

"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.

With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
"85 years old"

I was throwing darts at wife's photo on dart board

and not even a single one hitting the target.
Wife entered, saw and asked, Honey! What are you doing?
Husband: Missing you.
And that's when the fight started…

Throw joke, I was throwing darts at wife's photo on dart board

What do you do when an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw your dirty laundry in there with some detergent.

An American, a Brit and a Mexican are sitting in a helicopter.

The Brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!"

The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!"

The American proceeds to throw the Mexican out of the helicopter.

"Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the Brit.

The American turns around. "He killed my wife."

Three men brought four cigarettes onto a boat, but then realized they had no lighters or matches. What do they do?

Throw one cigarette off the boat and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.


How can you tell an ant's gender?

1. Get a glass full of water
2. Throw the ant into the glass
3. If it sinks, it's girl ant
4. If it floats, it's boy ant

Throwing acid is wrong...

...in some people's eyes.

The trump family is flying from New York to DC

Donald looks down on the cities below and says "I think I'll throw a 1000$ bill out of the window and make some american happy. Melanie says "Oh honey why not throw 10 100$ bills and make 10 americans happy?"
So then Ivanka says "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out of the window and make 100 americans happy?" To that the pilot says " Why dont you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

When I am tasked with sorting through a stack of rΓ©sumΓ©s, I throw about half of them in the garbage.

I do not want unlucky people working in our company

My in-laws couldn't cope when their cat unexpectedly had 9 kittens, so my wife told me to put them in a sack and throw them in the river…

I did it but it broke my heart.

I quite liked her dad…

If you ever get thrown into jail

Introduce yourself as the mitochondria...

You're the powerhouse of the cell.

Whenever I get a stack of resumes, I throw half of them in the trash

I sure don't want unlucky people on my team.

Please don't throw cigarette butts in urinals.

It makes them soggy and hard to light.

My neighbor's in the guinness book of records.

He's had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me, in fact it's just a stone's throw away.

Two guys were walking though the Sahara

They suddenly see a tiger approaching .

One guy throws sand in the tiger's eyes and he runs away.

The other guy keeps standing still.

"RUN MAN, WHY ARE YOU STANDING STILL??"

"Well I didn't throw the sand at him"

Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.

Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.

Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

A man called the hotel manager...

He said "Come up quickly, I fought with my wife and now she wants to throw herself out the window!". The manager replied "Sir this is a personal matter and we can't get involved. I can call sec..." The man interrupted "No! This is a maintenance issue. The window won't open!".

My brother and I made a $50 bet on who could throw meat the furthest into the air

I guess you could say the steaks have never been higher.

What do you do if an epileptic has a seizure in your pool?

Throw in your laundry.

My wife was cleaning the closet last week

Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing, I think I should donate them

Me: Just throw them in trash, that's much easier

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes

Me: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

BANG@#$%^&*

A man was sitting on a park bench eating a hot dog.

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Almost immediately, the little dog began barking incessantly at the man while he ate.

The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"

"Not at all," the woman replied.

The man picked the dog up and tossed him over a wall.

Wife tells her husband

Wife: "I got a bag full of clothes i don't wear anymore. I want to donate them."

Husband: "Why do you want to donate them? Just throw them away."

Wife: "There are poor starving people, who might need some clothes that weren't worn a lot."

Husband: "Women who fit in your clothes are not starving."

Leave a man on a plane and he flies for a day.

Throw a man off a plane and he flies for the rest of his life.

How do Youο»Ώ Drown a Hipster?

Throw him into the mainstream.

How many cops does it take to throw a black guy down the stairs?

None. He fell.

If there's one thing that makes me throw up

It's a dart board on a ceiling

A father has two sons named Joe and Mikey and the live on the third floor of their apartment.

One day the father goes to store, but leaves the key to his car in the apartment. He see's Joe in the window and shouts to him, "throw my key out the window!"

Sadly, Mikey didn't survive the fall

I used to have a girlfriend who, whenever she had a bad headache, would go into the cupboard, find my oats I'd normally eat for breakfast and then throw them in the garbage.

Apparently she couldn't cope with my grains.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim find a pile of coins

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim find a pile of coins.

They start arguing what they should take and what they should give to God.

The Christian draws a circle and says, We throw the coins into he air, and whatever lands in the circle, we keep.

The Muslim says, No no no. Whatever lands outside the circle we keep.

The Jew says, How about we throw it in the air, and whatever God wants, he keeps, and whatever falls to the ground we keep.

A drunk goes into a bar

A drunk goes into a bar. The bartender tosses him out as he is too drunk. The drunk walks back into the bar. Again, the bartender throws him out for being too drunk. Again the drunk walks into the bar. The bartender is just about the throw him out when the drunk looks at him and says, "How many bars do you own, anyway?"

What do you call a game where Germans throw bread at each other

Gluten tag

Can a ninja throw a star?

Sure he can.

A tourist in London was throwing bread to some ducks in a pond...

when a local woman approached him looking rather upset. She asked him how he could throw bread in the water for ducks when there were starving children in Africa? Wasn't it obvious that they could use that bread more than the ducks?

The man stood there for a short moment and responded to the woman saying, "I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't throw that far."

Three priests gathered together for a drink .

During their get together ,the host ask the other two :

- How do you split your money with the Lord ?

"I draw a line on the floor in my church ,then ,i throw the money in the air ,whatever is on my side I get to keep ,whatever falls on his side he keeps it" sais the first priest.

The second one replies "well I draw circle and then I' throw the money in the air ,whatever falls inside the circle is mine ,whatever Falls outside the circle is His" .

"How do you split your money ?" they both ask the host priest.

I' just throw the money in the air and he keeps whatever he wants.

"YOU'LL SEE! THEY'LL ALL SEE!"

\- said by a very passionate eye doctor as they throw eye glasses into a crowd.



(credit goes to my mom)

After winning the game, I decided to throw the ball to the spectators...

Apparently that's frowned upon in bowling.

After winning the game I decided to throw my ball into the crowd

Apparently that's frowned upon in bowling

Son : Dad, how do I catch fish?

Dad : Just throw this clickbait into the water

Son : And then what?

Dad : What happens next will shock you

My grandpa kept telling people that the Titanic was going to sink. They ignored him.

Eventually, they needed to throw him out the cinema.

I was sitting on a bus with a friend and he told me this joke...

What do you do if you see an Epileptic having a fit in the bath?

Throw in your laundry.

The guy behind us leaned over and said "I think that's disgusting. My son died in the bath whilst having a fit."

We both went white and apologised. The guy got up to get off and said, "he choked on a sock."

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After hnoeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...

After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..

β€ŸIt is simple billionaire boasts....
β€ŸI faked my age

β€ŸYes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you're? A friend asks.

With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
β€Ÿ85 years old

For Christmas, I bought my wife a world map and gave her a dart. I told her to throw it and wherever it lands, we will go on vacation after this pandemic is over.

Turns out we are spending two weeks behind the fridge.

How do you beat Dwayne Johnson in a fight?

Throw paper at him

On the way to a teacher convention the pilot makes an announcement, before taking off I should tell you that the plane has been made by your students

All the teachers throw themselves out the door as quick as possible except one, the pilot puzzled comes closer and asks him:

- do you trust that much your students?

- Of course, the teacher answers with a peaceful voice, I'm pretty sure the plane won't even start.

Can a ninja throw a dart?

Sure-He-Can

I heard a story about a man that went insane

He bought a new boomerang and kept trying to throw the old one away

Once, i throwed a boomerang really fast

I've been living in fear since that day

I entered a competition to see who could put on the most items of clothing in a minute. I was in the lead, but right at the last second, my opponent managed to throw something around his neck and draw level.

It was a tie.

A priest, an imam and a rabbi

A priest, an imam and a rabbi are discussing how they decide how much money goes to god and how much they keep.

The priest goes first: "It's quite simple, we draw a line on the floor and throw the money. Everything beyond the line is for god, the rest is for us."

The imam: "Oh interesting. We do something similar. We put a bucket on the floor and throw the money. Everything in the bucket is for god and we keep what's left. What about you rabbi?"

Rabbi: "Us? Very simple. We throw the money in the air. If it keeps going up, it's for god, if it falls, it's for us."

My kid got sent home from school one day.

They said he was catching bees and throwing them at other kids. So I sat him down and had a chat. I said, "Son, you can't be doing that, obviously it's not ok to throw bees at people, they could get stung and what happens if someone has an allergic reaction? How would you feel if that happened?" And he replied, " Well I know it doesn't sound safe, but my principal said I could do it and the teachers said I could do it. Infact both of you even said I could do it! You all said I can bee who I want to bee!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the throw threw jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working throw dump piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes