Following is our collection of funny Throat jokes. There are some throat strep jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these throat sinuses puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
My youngest son thought of this all by himself...he's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska.
And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
A little boy was playing in his yard when he swallowed a coin that became lodged in his throat. His mother picked him up and ran down the street screaming for help. Luckily, a man ran over and hit the boy hard on the back so that the coin popped out of his mouth. "Thank you so much, doctor!" the mother said.
"Oh, I'm not a doctor, ma'am," said the man. "I work for the IRS"
She had a frog in her throat.
Knowing that the minister had a very sore throat, an elderly woman presented him with a bottle of cherry brandy.
"This is quite soothing, the woman said, "but please don't tell anyone I gave you liquor. Everyone thinks I am teetotaler."
"I understand," replied the good man.
When the church magazine came out a few days later, the congregant skimmed the "With Appreciation" column. There she read: "The minister extends his thanks to Mrs. Alice Rodgers for her gift of fruit and the spirit in which it was given."
1 was making fun of 0 for being fat and how he equates to nothing. This continued for several weeks until 0 had enough. He grabs 1 by his throat and shouts "Stop boolean me!".
Doctor: "Your tonsils gotta come out."
Patient: "I want a second opinion!"
Doctor: "Okay, I don't like your haircut."
A man diagnosed with throat cancer tells his family of the bad news, he starts:
"It pains me to say this..."
A man walks into a bar, and asks:
-who owns the big dobermann outside.
-I own that dog, the meanest and ugliest of the bikers say.
-I am truly sorry, but it appears that my little Chihuahua has killed it.
-"What? How is that possible?" The biker says.
-Well, your dog got mine stuck in its throat.
He slowly but firmly grabs my throat. I try to say goodbye and I choke. I try to walk away and I stumble...'
- of Macy Gray.
There will be no coffin at his funeral.
You can explore throat vial reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean throat tonsils dad jokes. There are also throat puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Every time she got to 69, she got a little frog in her throat.
I went to the hospital today for a Gastroscopy test.
In the waiting room the doctor came through and explained the situation to the four of us sat waiting there.
He explained that I was having the Gastroscopy, which is the camera down the throat.
Whilst the other three were there for a Colonoscopy, which is the camera up the arsehole. The doctor asked if we had any questions.
I said: "Yes. Can I go first?"
So there wouldn't be any coffin.
Because when she got to 69, there was a frog in her throat.
"Hey man, how long till we get the ovaries?"
"Long way still, we just passed the throat."
But I have a sore throat.
There was no coffin at the funeral
You Ramadan her throat.
The canibals say that they will be killed and their skin will be made into a canoe, and that they can choose how they die.
The first one jumps off a rock, the second one cuts his throat.
The third one takes a fork, starts stabing himself and yelling 'NO CANOE FOR YOU!"
The other sperm said "OK, but pace yourself, we just passed the throat!"
Must have been a phlegmingo.
There was no coffin.
Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.
Everytime she made it to 69, she got a frog in her throat.
I heard there will be no coffin at his funeral.
He turns to his dad and says "So, what are we having for dinner?"
The father bird clears his throat.
"Carrion, my gay bird son. There'll be peas when you are done."
Her miscarriage.
She had a frog in her throat
Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.
...So I slit his throat while he was sleeping to ensure he didn't lay claim to my crown.
Last night when i was coming home from work a man attacked me. He silently put the knife to my throat with his hand covering my mouth.. I think that's it, I'm done. He takes out his business card, gives it to me and leaves. With a pounding heart and shortness of breath, I read it.
It said : *Self-defense courses.*
A little hoarse
The priest cleared his throat disapprovingly:
"Mister Solo, you need to say the words so we can end the ceremony."
Me: "Do you mind if I say a word?"
Widow: "Please do."
Me: *clears throat* "Plethora."
Widow: "Thank you. That means a lot."
They get a tickle in their throat
"I have a sore throat", the partner responded.
"I have the best cure", the first said. "Each time I have a sore throat I blow my husband and immediately feel better."
The next day the partner walks into work with a smile on her face.
"Did you do what I suggested?", the first asked.
"Yes, and thanks for the tip", the second said.
"Your husband couldn't believe it was your idea!"
The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse screams, "I will end you!" And bites the bartender in the throat. A priest, a nun, and a rabbi who were just approaching the entrance quietly turn and walk away as the horse shakes the bartender vigorously back and forth screaming, "why the floppy head?! Why the floppy head?!"
Because she was eating Adam's apple.
He knocks on the door and the doctor's wife opens the door "is the doctor home?" He asks whispering because of his throat. The wife looks outside, sees no one and whispers "No, he's not. Come in".
She had had a frog in her throat
He doesn't want to get a Thor throat
Unable to come up with any ideas, they decided the best course of action would be to draw random letters out of a hat.
One man pulled out a letter, cleared his throat, and read,
"C, eh."
The letter was written down. The man pulled out another letter and read,
"N, eh."
This, too, was recorded. The man drew one more letter and read,
"D, eh."
I swallowed a dictionary....it gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had. -credit goes to my 80 yo grandmother
They hack.
A man leans in to her and asks, Do you mind if I say a word? .
No, go right ahead , the woman replies.
The man stands, clears his throat, says Plethora , and sits back down.
Thanks , the woman says, that means a lot .
A man then asks "do you mind if I say a word?"
The woman replies "No, go ahead"
The man makes his way to the front at the head of the coffin, clears his throat and says "plethora" before returning to his seat.
"Thank you" says the woman. "That means a lot."
"Mind if I say a word?"
"Please do", she says.
Silence ensues...
The man clears his throat and went on
"Plethora"
Tears welled up in her eyes.
"Thank you, that means a lot"
Force a man a fish down his throat and he'll be fed for the rest of his life.
and says to the priest, 'Excuse me, Father... I knew the deceased. Would you mind if I said a quick word?'
The priest nods him on, so the man clears his throat, pauses for a moment, and says, 'Plethora', before sitting back down.
The widow goes back to the man, gives him a hug and says, 'Thank you. That means a lot.'
A man in the pew behind her leans forward to ask, "Do you mind if I say a word?".
No, not at all, she replies.
The man stands and clears his throat.
Bargain", he says, and sits back down.
"Thank you", the woman responds, "it means a great deal."
After the regular round of eulogies and speeches and well wishers, he leans over the pew and asks the widow:
"Mind if I say a word?"
No, of course not , she says. "Please do."
The man stands up, clears his throat and says:
"Abacus"
Then promptly sits down.
The widow leans back and says: "Thanks, it's the little things that count .
The woman is trying to breastfeed, but the baby refuses to suck on her breast. She warns her child, if you don't start sucking, I'm going to give it to the man next to me , but the baby still refuses.
After 20 minutes, the woman repeats the threat several times to no avail. The man finally clears his throat and says, look here lady, you need to make up your mind, I was supposed to get off 6 bus stops ago!
Wanting to know who owns the Great Dane tied up outside because his dog just killed said Great Dane.
A man at the bar stands up obviously perplexed and says what kind of dog do you have that it just killed my Great Dane?
Other man responds proudly he owns a Chiwawa.
You're saying your Chiwawa killed my Great Dane? Not really believing what he was hearing.
Yes other man responds my dog got lodged in your dogs throat
It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had,
He approaches the dead man's wife, and asks if he could say a word or two. The wife says that yes, he could. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says "Catholic Priest"
The wife smiles, and says "Thank you, we were all touched."
They seemed to lose interest after I cut the cow's throat.
... and then the giraffe brags, "Bet you are really envious of my long neck. When I'm eating, delicious food usually lingers in my throat and oh my, the taste, the scent, that feels really good!"
The rabbit swallows a mouthful real fast and then asks,
"Have you ever puked?"
She frequently had a frog in her throat.
Having a frog in her throat.
She had a frog in her throat.
A man is sitting next to a woman who is trying to breast feed her baby on the bus. The baby refuses to eat and the mother warns, "If you don't eat I'll give it to the man next to me." The baby refuses. After 20 mins the mother repeats the threat. The man clears his throat and says, "Hey woman, you better make up your mind. I was supposed to get off the bus 6 stops ago!"
you shouldn't force it down anyone's throat especially your children.
It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had
ever since then I've had thesaurus throat
"You don't look so good today, Bambi," said Barbie.
"You're right," said Bambi. "I feel like I'm coming down with something. My throat really hurts."
Barbie suggested, "You know, whenever I have a sore throat I give my husband oral sex and the next day I feel great."
Bambi carefully considered this. The next day Barbie noticed that Bambi looked better.
"You look much better today. Did you take my suggestion?"
Bambi replied, "I sure did. It worked great. And your husband just couldn't believe that it was your idea!"
*clears throat*
Excuse me...
A blessing in the skies.
It's better said than typed :/
She gets a frog in her throat at 69.
She turned to the man next to her and asked if he would say a few words.
Certainly , he says and walks up to the mic
A few words the man says before sitting back down
That's exactly what I needed to hear says the woman.
A man sitting behind her leans forward and asks, Do you mind if I say a word?
Not at all she replies
He stands, walks forward and clears his throat.
Bargain he says before returning to his seat
Thanks , says the woman, that means a great deal
Another man then takes the mic and simply says many .
Thank you, that means a lot says the woman
The man stands, clears his throat, says Plethora , and sits back down.
Thanks , the woman says, that means a lot .
Because every time she gets to 69, she gets a frog in her throat.
To hell with the barbers.
...it gave me thesaurus throat I ever had.
They're both neck romancers.
Extremely hot and capable of severely injuring my throat
He said, "It's not serious, you just need to have utensils taken out."
I had thesaurus throat ever.....
I'll see myself out
"You'll need to have utensils taken out."
... the coronavirus.
I'm so depressed, my throat is aching from crying and I'm losing my sense of taste and smell
She came to me one evening, very serious. I knew something was going on. She asked, in that tone that instantly puts a lump in your throat, I suspect you've been unfaithful. Do you have a sec to talk?
I wanted her to know she has my full attention, so I replied, I have a lot of secs!
I still can't figure out why she walked out.
A man walks into a bar and asks,
"Does anyone here own the Rottweiler outside?"
"Yeah, I do!" says a biker, standing up. "What about it?"
"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..." The man hesitated.
"What are you talking about?!" the biker says in disbelief. "How could your little runt kill my Rottweiler?"
"Well, he got stuck in your dog's throat."
But I hear it's a pretty cut throat business
He was a little hoarse
Don't eat dictionaries!
You'll get thesaurus throat!
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