Threes Jokes

70 threes jokes and hilarious threes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about threes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Threes Short Jokes

Short threes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The threes humour may include short three people jokes also.

  1. I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise.... My boss asked what companies?
    Gas, water and electricity.
  2. How can you tell if a Redditor isn't a native English speaker? They'll inform you after three paragraphs of professional English.
  3. Why are women so bad at parking cars? Because for the last 200 years they've been told that three inches are actually six.
  4. So I put a giant map of the world up on the wall and gave my wife a dart. I told her wherever it lands is where we go on holiday. I guess we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
  5. President Biden has announced water is now only legal in three states. Solid, liquid and gas.
  6. Three logicians walk into a bar. The barkeeper asks: "Do you all want beer?"
    The first one answers: "I don't know."
    The second one answers: "I don't know."
    The third one answers: "Yes!"
  7. Whenever I'm in trouble, I ask myself what Jesus would do now. And then I play dead and disappear from the scene for three days.
  8. Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
  9. Guy runs into a bar, yells "Quick! How tall is a penguin?" Bartender says "Three feet tall."
    Guy says "Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!"
  10. After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. Who was that?

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Threes One Liners

Which threes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with threes? I can suggest the ones about triple and three guys.

  1. Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar You can't tell me that's just a coincidence .
  2. What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot? 671 Hallmark movies.
  3. Insomnia is terrible. But on the plus side... Only three more sleep till Christmas
  4. The three unwritten rules of life 1.
  5. Why do you always see teen girls in groups of three? Because they literally can't even.
  6. The three most well-known spy agencies are the CIA, KGB, and MI5. The rest are good.
  7. What's a three letter word that starts with gas? Car
  8. "You want to see a pig with three eyes?" A piiig
  9. Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder.
  10. Three Conspiracy Theorists Walk Into a Bar Don't tell me that's not a coincidence
  11. Orion's Belt is a big waist of space. Bad joke. Only three star.
  12. What did 8 say to three? Where's your other half?
  13. Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of three? Because it says "No Trespassing".
  14. PLEASE stop asking santa for the perfect woman. I was almost kidnapped three times today.
  15. The three unwritten rules! 1.

Threes joke, The three unwritten rules!

Uplifting Threes Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about threes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean trio jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make threes pranks.


Good- I've just had a t**....
Bad-It was two guys and a girl.
Ugly-The girl was a blow-up doll.

I had a t**... on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...

It was wrong on so many levels.

If a t**... is with 3 people...

If a t**... is with 3 people and a f**... is with 4 people I can see why they call you handsome.

Why do hot girls always travel in threes?

Because they can't even.


So, I finally talked my wife into having a t**...... So she said the only condition is that she pick the other girl... So I told her no... I will pick both of them..

I had a t**......

A couple of people cancelled, but I actually had a great time...

I never want to have a t**...,

If I wanted to dissappoint two people at once I'd have dinner with my parents.

I was almost in a devil's t**... once, but at the last minute the other guy backed out. So i looked at the girl and said...

"Well that's a load off your back"


No thank you. If I wanted to disappoint 2 people at once, I would go to dinner with my parents.

t**...? No thanks

If I wanted to disappoint two people in the same room, I would have dinner with my parents.


I never understood the obsession with threesomes , if I wanted to disappoint two people at once I would have lunch with my parents.

Why did KGB officers always travel in threes?

One who could read, one who could write, and the third to watch over those two dangerous intellectuals.

Almost had a threeseom.

All i needed was 2 more girls.

Having a t**... with a mom and daughter

So it was Saturday night and I had no date and decided to drop in at the bar to get drunk and hopefully a girl to get laid with. As I started downing a few shots I noticed this hot looking mature lady ( must be in her 50s) sitting all alone at a corner table getting drunk and this thought came to mind that if she looks so hot for her age then she must be having a hot looking daughter as well and wish I could have a t**... with them. So I went to her table and asked her if I could join and to my delight she said yes. I chatted her up and next thing I know we caught a taxi and proceeded to her home. In the taxi I told her about my fantasy of having a t**... with a mother daughter combo and to my delight she felt it was a great idea and so we reached her home and as we entered she let out a shout,"Mom you still awake?"

Would you rather have a t**... or dinner with your parents?

Personally, I choose dinner with parents.
I mean if I'm gonna disappoint two people at once, I at least want it to be two people I know.

I had a t**... the other night...

A few people didn't show up, but it was still a good time.

I don't think I could ever do a t**....

I can't even satisfy one girl, let alone a girl and a guy.

A t**... with an older couple

Girl: Babe come over
Guy: Can't having a t**... with an older couple
Girl: My parents are not home
Guy: I know

In the states they say famous people die in threes.

In Mexico tres passing is i**....

Just had my first t**... but it was not what I had envisioned.

The other two guys seemed to like it just fine.

If a t**... with two guys and a girl is called a "manwich", what do you call a t**... with two girls and a guy?

Vaggie burger.

I almost had a t**... last night...

Just needed two more people.

Moscow cops

Did you hear the one about why Moscow cops patrol in threes?
One who can read, one who can write, and another to keep an eye on the other two "dangerous intellectuals".

I had a t**... with two girls. They said they were 28 years old...

How was I supposed to know they meant combined? They really look like adults, especially the 20-years old

*I* actually went through with a t**....

There were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time.

I almost had a t**... today

I just needed 2 more girls

I had a t**... once...

It was with two no-shows, but I still had a good time

t**... Joke

Q: A teacher asks, "What's the difference between a problem and a challenge?"
A: A student repsonds, "3 boys + 1 girl = problem. 1 boy + 3 girls = challenge."

They say good things come in threes...

Try telling that to someone with
Down Syndrome

I had a t**... scheduled for last night.

There were a couple of noshows but I still had fun.

My friend is the Steph Curry of getting the ladies...

because all he does is score threes.

I'm not that into threesomes

If I wanted to disappoint 2 people at once, I'd just talk to my parents.


No thanks, if i want to disappoint 2 people at the same time i'll just have dinner with my parents.

A t**... involves three people. A twosome involves two.

I guess that's why everybody keeps calling me handsome.


I had brought up the idea of a t**... several times to my wife. So on my birthday, she relented and asked which of her friends I would like. I didn't know I was only supposed to name one.

I Had A t**... With My Best Friend and His Girlfriend

After the first 45 minutes I told him, "I don't think she's coming."

I had my first t**... last night!

There were a couple no-shows, but despite that it was a fun time.

Why do white girls always walk in pairs of threes?

Because they literally can't even.

I had a t**... last night.

There were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time.

They say death comes in threes...

Funny, I do the same thing on weekends.

Threesomes are weird to me.

Especially threesomes involving two women. I always picture a '*Lord of the Rings*' situation where girl 2 turns to girl 1 and says, "Share the load."

The first rule of comedy is The Rule of Threes ...

The second rule of comedy is Subvert Expectations.

had a t**... with two anorexic girls last night...

... Two birds one stone

A t**... is 3 people having s**...

I guess i know why they call me handsome

I had a t**... some days ago...

Two people didn't show up tho, so I had to take matters into my own hands.

A t**... is s**... with three people. A twosome is s**... with two people.

It makes sense why people always call me handsome.

There a a few things in life I simply cannot stand:

1. Lists
2. Speling arrers
3. The rule of threes

Why should I have a t**...?

If I want to disappoint two people at once I visit my parents.

I almost had a t**... last night!

I only needed 2 more people.


No thanks. If I want to disappoint two people at once I'll go to dinner with my parents.

Have you ever had a t**...?

No. If I wanted to disappoint 2 people at the same time, I'd have dinner with my parents.

I've never had a t**...

If I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'd have dinner with my parents.

Had my first t**... tonight.

There were two no-shows but I still had a great time

I tried to have a t**... with two Eskimo girls

But they just weren't Inuit.

Why do Russian policemen go around in threes?

One who can read.
One who can write.
And one to keep an eye on the intellectuals.

Threes joke, Why do Russian policemen go around in threes?

jokes about threes