three young boys Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious three young boys puns

Three young boys are exploring the woods near a river

One of the boys is crouched behind a rock and is looking at something.
He calls the other two over to look with him.
In the river is a beautiful naked woman bathing.
One of the boys immediately starts running in the other direction screaming.
What's wrong? Says one boy.
My mom told me if I ever saw a naked woman I would turn to stone! He says And something's already turning hard!

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Psychiatrist Observations

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go

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Reggie, Joe, and Chuck

There was once a farmer who had three teenage daughters. On prom night, a young boy rang his doorbell.
**Reggie:** My name's Reggie, I'm here to pick up Betty, we're going to go eat some spaghetti, is she ready?
He told his Betty that someone was there to pick her up and they left.
A while later, there someone else rang the doorbell.
**Joe:** My name's Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo, we're going to watch a show, is she ready to go?
So he told Flo and they left.
A bit later, there was yet another boy at his door. He said:
**Chuck:** My name's Chuck...
And the farmer shot him.

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Having guests for dinner (somewhat vulgar)

A man and his wife had three children, one young boy and a teenage boy and girl. The family was having guests over for dinner one night. Before the guests arrive, the younger boy checks to see what everyone is doing. His mom was cutting carrots in the kitchen, and right as the boy walks in, cuts her hand and says "oh fuck!" The boy asks her what fuck means and she replies "oh it means to cut." The boy then goes to his dad, who is shaving in the bathroom. The dad cuts himself right as the boy walks in and says "oh shit!" The boy asks what shit means and the dad replies "oh it means to shave." The boy then goes to his older sister in the living room. She's talking on the phone with a friend and says "I love sucking cock" right as the boy walks in. The boy asks what sucking cock means and the sister replies "oh it means to talk on the phone." Then the boy goes to his older brother in his bedroom. The brother is watching TV and screams "you bitch!" right as the boy walks in. the boy asks what bitch means and the brother replies "oh it means TV." Soon after the guests arrive, and the young boy meets them at the door. One of the guests asks him what his family was doing.

The boy replied "my mom is fucking a carrot in the kitchen, my dad is shitting in the bathroom, my sister is sucking cock in the living room, and my brother is screaming at his bitch in his bedroom!"

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A Cherokee chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant...

The first squaw gave birth to a boy, and the chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of buffalo hide.

A few days later, the second squaw gave birth, and also to a boy. The chief was extremely happy; he built her a teepee made of antelope hide.

The third squaw gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details of the birth a secret.

He built the third wife a teepee out of hippopotamus hide and challenged the people of the tribe to guess the details of the birth. Whoever in the tribe could guess correctly would receive a small prize.

Several people tried, but they were unsuccessful in their guesses. Finally, a young brave came forth and declared that the third wife had delivered twin boys.

"Correct!" cried the chief. "But how did you know?"

"It's simple," replied the warrior. "The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."

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Another Soviet Joke

In a small town outside Moscow a very proud primary school teacher began the Monday the same was she began every monday: by asking the students what they did to help their fellow comrads in the glorious Soviet Union. She turned to Illya Ivanovich.

"Illya Ivanovich, what did you do today to help the Collective?"

Illya thought a moment and replied, "Well, Katerina Maximovna, I helped an old woman cross the street."

"Wonderful," his teacher replied, "you truly helped your country. And you, Alexander Michaelovich, what did you do this weekend to help the Collective?"

"Well, you see Katerina Maximovna, I was helping Illya to help the old lady cross the street."

"OK. Good work. You certainly helped your nation and your fellow comrads." Katerina then looked at Dimitri Fyodorovich.

"And you, Dimitri Fyodorovich. What did you do this weekend to benefit the Collective?"

Dimitri thought for a moment, and then said, "Katerina Maximovna, you see, I was also helping Alexander and Illya to help the old woman across the street."

Katerina Maximovna paused a moment, and then with a confused look she said, "OK, Dimitri Fyodorovich, it is always good to help others. But I am confused. Why did it take three strong young boys to help one old babushka across the street?"

Dimitri thought for a moment and answered, "Well, you see, she didn't want to cross."

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Trial in a small town.

In a trial, a southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand - a grandmotherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded "why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me." She continued "You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."


The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"


She again replied "why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."


At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both counsellors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt."

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School Punishments

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny,Pat?"

"I just saw one of your garters!"

"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"

"I just saw both of your garters!"

Again, she yells, "Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don't want to see you for three weeks!"

Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asks.

"From what I just saw, my school days are over!"

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Obama went on a run

and fell in a river.

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three young boys pulled him out of the river. Obama said my god, you saved the president of your country. name any one thing you want and you'll have it.

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The first boy said he wanted a house for his mother, they'd never had a house. Obama bought it.

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The second boy wanted to go to Disney world. Obama made it so.

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The third boy asked for a wheelchair. Perplexed, Obama said "Why do you need a wheel chair, you seem to walk fine".

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The young boy replied "well now, sure. but wait until my dad finds out i saved your life."

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The Beer-Bottle Genie

A young man is walking along the beach, when he spies a beer bottle in the sand. Picking it up, he brushes it off to see what brand it is, when a genie popped out. In a thundering voice, it proclaimed, "I am the beer bottle genie! For freeing me, I will grant you any three wishes, BUT the condition is, every lawyer in the world will get TWO of that!"
So the kid thought, and decided, "I want a briefcase filled with a million dollars!"
POOF! A briefcase instantly appeared in front if him. Meanwhile, two brief cases with a million dollars each appeared in front of every lawyer in the world.
"And for my next wish," he added, "I would like a red Porsche."
POOF! One appeared in front of him on the sand. And two Porsches appeared in the garages of every lawyer in the world.
"All right," said the genie, " for your last wish think really hard. Okay, time's up! What do you want?"
"Well," said the boy, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."

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A man gets on a train to go to Scotland for business...

When he arrives, it's raining. He stays for three whole weeks and the rain never stops. When he finally returns to the train station, he see's a young boy. He goes up to him and says "Excuse me, does it ever stop raining here?" The boy replies "I'm not sure, I'm only 5 years old."

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A farmer has three daughters.

A boy knocks on the door and says "I'm Eddie and I'm here to take Betty for spaghetti."

The farmer calls Betty and she goes on her date with the young man.

Another boy knocks on the door and says to the farmer "I'm Joe and I'm here to take Flo to the show".

The farmer calls Flo downstairs and the two go to the show.

A third boy then knocks on the front door and says "I'm Chuck..." and the farmer shoots him.

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Meaning of... 'potentially' and 'realistically'

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the
difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"

The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother
if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask
your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars,
and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?"

The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that
money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?"

The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would
sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?"

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with
Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million
bucks would buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between
'potentially' and 'realistically'?"

The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three
million dollars, but 'realistically', we're living with two hookers
and a future congressman."

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Three men line up to show off their skills at archery

They are to shoot off the apple off of a young boy's head. The first one draws his arrow back, shoots, hits the apple clean off of the boy's head, and says, "I am Robin Hood!". The second one draws his arrow back, shoots, hits the apple of the boy's head, and says, "I am William Tell!". The third one draws his arrow back, shoots, hits the poor boy in the skull, who then proceeds to drop dead. The archer looks at what he has done, takes off his hat, and whispers, "I am sorry."

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A plane is flying over the ocean ..

The pilot speaks on the intercom, "Engine one has failed, engine two is on its way out. Grab a parachute I wish you the best."
On board was a Catholic priest, a Rabbi, a lawyer and three boy scouts. As they searched for life vest and parachutes they only found three. The Adults huddled to try and figure this out this conundrum. The Rabbi suggested
"Guys, we have lived long fruitful lives I'm sure this act of letting the young boys live out their lives will surely seal our fate in the Kingdom of heaven"
The Lawyer certainly thinking of only himself said "Fuck them!"
Then the Catholic priest said "You think we have enough time?"

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A doctor a lawyer a priest, and a young boy are on a plane when the hits turbulence and is about to crash...

There are three parachutes between the four of them. The doctor says "Well I'm a doctor and I specialize in medicine and saving lives so I think I should live", the others agree and the doctor takes the first parachute and jumps out. The lawyer says "Well I'm a really smart man basically a genius so I think I should live too", so he grabs the second parachute and jumps out. Now its the last parachute between the priest and the little boy. The priest looks at the boy and says "You know what my child take the parachute, the good lord has blessed me my whole life and you still have your life ahead of you so save yourself and take the last parachute". The little boy says "No it's all right", the priest asks "Why?" and the boy replies "Because the genius just jumped out with my back pack".

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Obsessions

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

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Three young boys are walking home from school one day...

when they decide to stop and check out the new neighbors who moved in on their block. They walk over to the tall fence surrounding the yard and the first boy looks through a hole. He finds himself staring at a beautiful, naked, sunbathing woman. He wildly gestures for the second boy to look, and then the third boy. However, when the third boy looks through the hole, after a few seconds he screams, and runs down the street towards his house. The other two boys look at each other in bewilderment and go home very confused.

The next day, the boys stop by the house in hopes of seeing the same woman, and again find her sunbathing naked. Yet again, once the third boy looks through the hole he screams and runs down the street. The other two boys are still extremely confused as they walk home.

The following day, they stop by the house again, and lo and behold, the woman is out sunbathing naked again. When the third boy gets his turn and screams, the other two grab him and prevent him from running off.

The first boy says "Look! Every time you take a look at that lady, you scream and take off! What is wrong with you?!"

The third boy turns and replies "Well...my mom always told me that if I ever looked at a woman naked, I would turn to stone...and I felt a part of me getting reeeallly hard...."

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Grandmas and lawyers

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer!

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.

He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me.. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney (the opponent's lawyer)?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. ..Yes I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said: "If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to jail for contempt of court !!!"

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Realistically and Potentially . . .

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?'

The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.

Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a Million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.'

So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!'

The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt - I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?'

The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million Bucks would buy?'

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on Three million dollars .

But 'realistically', we're just living with two hookers and a queer.

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Horrible driving.

A man and his young son are out driving.

The son feels a bump and asks what it was because he's too small to see out of the windows.

Dad: 'Just a bird, son.'

After a while the car experiences another, larger bump but the dad keeps going.

Son: 'What was that, dad?'

Dad: 'A fox, son.'

More time passes, then all of a sudden the car is shook by three bumps in quick succession, one of them much

louder than the others, yet the dad drives on.

Son: 'Dad?'

Dad: 'Just a paki, son.'

The boy contemplates his dad's words for some time.

Son: 'Why was there three bumps, dad?'

Dad: 'Well, I had to go up on the pavement to get him.'

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Aboard a airplane that is about to crash is a lawyer, a priest, and three Boy Scouts....

Pilot: "There is only three parachutes on the plane. We should give them to the Boy Scouts as they are young and have their whole future ahead of them still."

Lawyer: "Fuck the Boy Scouts, give me a parachute!"

Priest: "Do we have time?"

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A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

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A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

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The Air plane

Once upon a time, there were four people on an air plane. the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. the four people on the plane are, the richest man in the world, a little boy, the smartest man in the world and the pope. the plane only has three parachutes, the richest man in the world stands up and says "I'm the richest man in the world! I need to live." he grabs a parachute and jumps out. the smartest man in the world says "I'm the smartest man in the world! I need to live." he takes a parachute and jumps out. the pope turns to the young boy and says "Child, you have so much more life then I do, take the last parachute" the boy, totally oblivious to the situation, turns to the pope and says "oh, no need to worry. the smartest man in the world took my backpack"

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A young boy is sitting in class...

A young boy is sitting in class when the teacher asks the group a question: "Five birds are sitting on a branch. A hunter shoots two. How many birds are left?". The young boy raises his hand and answers: "None. The birds heard the gun shot and all flew away". The teacher explains to the young boy: "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for; but I like the way you think!"

The next day, the young boy comes into class with a question for the teacher: "Miss, three women are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream: One licks the ice cream. Another licks the ice cream and spits it out. The last one licks the ice cream and swallows. Which woman is married?" A little embarrassed by the question, the teacher answers: "The woman who swallows?" The young boy says: "No, the one with the wedding ring; but I like the way you think!"

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Lame Irish joke

A company was celebrating it's 99th year in buisness and invite graphic designers to submit a concept they would use for promoting this milestone. Paddy submitted a artwork of a field with three trees, each tree being pissed on by a young boy. "Dirty tree an dirty tree and dirty tree - 99 you see?" He explained. The execs were amused but rejected the concept. The next year for the big One Hundredth year celebration Paddy submitted the exact same concept except each tree also had a dog taking a crap on it. "Dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd and dirty tree and a turd" he beamed :)

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Three priests and three young boys are on a boat on the ocean.

The boat starts to sink and first priest says, "Save the boys!" The second priest says, "F*ck the boys!" The third priest says, "Do you think we have time?!"

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A Shark alarm at Sydneyย’s Bondi Beach sent everyone rushing from the water ย–except for three young boys who didnย’'t hear theย siren.
Onlookers were horrified to see a dorsel fin moving fast towards them. Suddenly, a tall bloke took a deep breath, dived into theย surf, swam past the shark, and scooped up two of the boys, swiftly bringing them to the shore and safety.
He then took another deep breath and swam out again, snatching the third boy before rapidly approaching, before the monsterย could attack. Then got him back to the beach in one piece.
The heroic bloke then put a knife between his clenched teeth, swam out to the shark, and killed it in a furious battle.
As he staggered out from the surf, bleeding and battered, a journalist raced up to him and said, ย“That was the most heroic thing
Iย’'ve ever witnessed mate. This will appear on the front page of tomorrowย’s newspaper: ย“Aussie hero saves three boys from killerย shark!ย”
ย“Thanks.ย” Smiles the fella, ย“but I'ย’m not an Aussie. I'ย’m a British backpacker.ย”
ย“No worries,ย” said the journalist with a frown, ย“it'ย’ll still be front-page news.ย”
The next day, the newspaperย’s headline screamed, ย“Pommy bastard kills boy'ย’s pet fish!ย”

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A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"
The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if heโ€™d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?"

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"
The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but 'realistically', weโ€™re living with two h***s and a future congressman."

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What are the most funny Three Young Boys jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Three Young Boys? Well, here are the best Three Young Boys dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Three Young Boys pick up lines to share with friends.

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