The Best 45 Three Moms Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Three Moms jokes. There are some three moms five jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these three moms seven puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Three Moms Jokes and Puns

Three brothers wanted to give their blind mom a birthday gift.

The first got her a big beautiful house. The second got her a brand new luxury vehicle with a driver. The third got her a talking parrot to keep her company. When they all got together, they wanted to know which gift she liked best. She said they were all great but she thanked her third son because she liked the chicken dinner best.

A teacher asked three students what causes war.

The first student said, "Knives." The second one said, "Guns." The third one drew a dot on the board. The teacher asked, "What's that?" The student replied, "A period." The teacher asked "How does a period cause war?" The student replied, "If my sister misses one, my mom will kill her."

Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings.

As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home.

Later that night, their mother couldn’t sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea.

On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter’s bedroom and heard her screaming.

The mother thought to herself, β€œThat’s normal, especially on her wedding night.”

She snuck by her second oldest daughter’s room and heard her laughing.

β€œThat’s normal too,” she said, smiling to herself.

Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter’s room where she didn’t hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it.

The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night’s noises.

β€œWell Mom,” she replied, β€œyou always said if it hurt I should scream.”

β€œYou’re absolutely right sweetheart,

”the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter.

β€œNow why were you laughing?” she asked.

β€œYou always said if it tickled, I could laugh,” she answered.

β€œTrue enough, honey.” The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days.

β€œNow it’s your turn, baby,” she said turning to her youngest daughter.

β€œWhy was it so quiet in your room last night?”

β€œMom, don’t you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full.”

Three Moms joke

A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while he was bathing.



"Mom", he asked, "is that my brain?"

"Not yet", she answered.

Three pregnant women are sitting in a doctors.

Three pregnant women are sitting in a doctors waiting room knitting. Mom 1 checks her watch and takes a pill "Vitamin C, good for mom, good for baby." Mom 2 takes a pill and says, "Vitamin A, good for mom, good for baby." Mom 3 takes a pill and says, "Thalidomide...I can't knit sleeves."


The first thing that landed on your head when you were born.

A mother has Three children, two girls and a boy. One girl ask her mother "Mom, why am I named Lilly?" The mom said "Because when you were born a Lilly landed on your head." The second girl ask "Mom, why am I named Rose?" the mother replied "Because when you were born a Rose landed on your head." then the boy sais "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" "SHUT UP BRICK!"

A little boy wants his toy,

A little boy wants his toy, so he walks up to his mother and says "Mom, give me my toy." His mother responds by saying, "What are the magic words?" So the little boy says the magic words and his mom gives him his toy.

The next day, the little boy starts kindergarten. At snack time, the little boy wants some juice, so he walks up to his teacher and asks for a juice box. The teacher says "What are the magic words?" So the little boy says the magic words. But the teacher gets upset, and calls the little boy's mother and asks her to come in.

When the three of them are sitting in the room together, the teacher asks the mother; "Have you been teaching your son sarcasm?"

"No," the mother says, "Why, what did he do?"

"Well, he asked for a juicebox," said the teacher, "and I asked him to say the magic words, and instead of saying please, he said 'you're thin and you're beautiful.'"

Three Moms joke, A little boy wants his toy,

Water Pistol

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.

I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, ''I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?''

Mom smiled and replied, ''Yes dear - I remember very well...''

How much does a midget stripper with three kids get paid?

Mini-mom wage.

A Weenie Contest.

Three 3rd Graders, an Irish, an Italian, and a Black are in the bathroom during recess and they decide to have a weenie contest to see who has the biggest weenie! The Irish boy pulls his out first and it's pretty small. The Italian goes next and it's about average. Then the Black Boy pulls his out and it's clearly the largest, but the other boys say "Well you won, but it's because you're black!"

So that night when the black boy goes home, his mom asks him what he did in school that day. He tells her how they did coloring, and reading, and what they learned, and how he played recess, but then he says "And mom, today me and my friends had a weenie contest, and I won! But mom, the others boys said I only won because I'm black". To which his mom replies "Tyrone, you didn't win because you're black, you won because you're 17!"

Three brothers eating soup

A mom has three sons and she's making them soup, While she's not looking a cupboard above the stove opens and a box of beebee's falls in the soup. She keeps cooking, serves them lunch and they go back outside to play. Ten minutes later the first boy comes in and says 'Mommy I was peeing and a beebee came out.' She doesn't believe him and he goes back out to play. Ten minutes later the second boy comes in and says 'Mommy I was peeing and a beebee came out.' She doesn't believe him and he goes back out to play. Ten minutes later, the oldest boy comes in and the mom says 'Let me guess, you were taking a pee and a beebee came out?' He says 'No, I was playing with myself and I shot the dog.'

You can explore three moms kids reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean three moms vulgar dad jokes. There are also three moms puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef. how about a cow with three legs? lean beef. but what do you call a cow with 2 legs?

your mom.

There are three moles at the bottom of their mole hole

The first mole, daddy mole, wakes up, climbs to the top, sticks his nose out and says, "Mmmmm...I smell bacon!"
Mommy mole wakes up. She climbs to the top, sticks her nose out and says, "Mmmmm....I smell pancakes!"
Baby mole wakes up. He climbs up, but gets stuck behind his mom and dad. He takes a big whiff and says, "All I can smell is molasses!"

And that's how people get their names.

Beth has three children.
One day, the youngest asks his mother: "Mom, why is my name Leaf?"
"You see son, when you were born, a leaf fell on your head."
The second child comes in. "Mom, why is my name feather?"
"You see, when you were born, a feather fell on your head."
The third child then comes in to his mother: "HNGHENENNENNEFSJNGDND!!!"
"Be quiet please, Refrigerator."

Cows

What do you call a cow on no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call a cow on three legs?

Tri-Tip.

What do you call a cow on two legs?

Your mom.

What do your mom and a hockey team have in common?

They both go three periods without a shower.

Three Moms joke, What do your mom and a hockey team have in common?

There were three sisters

One named Lilly, one named Rose, and the other named Cinderblock. One day Lilly went to their mother and asked, "Mom, why did you name me Lilly?"

"Well, when you were a baby, a lilly petal fell on your head," mother replied.

So then Rose went to her mother and asked, "Mom, why did you name me Rose?"

"Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head," mother replied.

So then Cinderblock went to her mother and asked, "der der duh der duh"

My mom told me this joke the first time she met my gf.

What are three 2 letter words meaning small?

Is it in?

Hispanic Joke

Three kids are in school...

A white, a black, and a hispanic kid. The teacher tells them to make a sentence with the words liver and cheese.

White kid says: "My mom made me a liver and cheese sandwich and it was sooo good."
Black kid says: "Pops told mom to go get the Government cheese And she didn't, so pops punched her in the liver."

Hispanic kid says: "Some kid was trying to look under my sister's dress and I told the cabron, "Hey!!! Liver alone, cheese my sister!!"


Three Daughters

One day a girl comes up to her mom and asks her, "Mother, why did you name me Rose?"

"Because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head."

Her second daughter comes up to her and asks, "Mother, why did you name me Daisy?"

"Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head."

The third daughter comes up to her and asks, "GHLSARGHLARGHLARG."

"What did you say Brick?"

A mom walks into her sons room to get him up for church..

She says to the son, "Get up its time for church."

The son rolls over and says so his mom, "I'm not going to church and I'll tell you three reasons why. 1) I don't like the people 2) The people don't like me and 3) I don't want to go."

The mother responds," You ARE going to church and I'll tell you three reasons why. 1) You're a Christian, you have to go even when you don't want to. 2) You're 42 years old. And 3) You're the priest."

The worst birthday present I ever got...

...was from my grandma when i turned 5. She gave me three socks. When asked why, she responded "because your mom said you grew a foot."

A woman's three daughters are going out on dates...

"What are your date plans?", the mother asks the daughters.

"I'm going out with Pete; we are going to eat" says the first daughter.

"Great! have fun" says the mom

"I'm going with Lance. We are going to dance" says the second daughter.

"Have a ball!" says the mother

"I'm going out with Chuck" says the third daughter

"NO YOU'RE NOT" yells the mother

What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with one leg?

Steak.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Your mom.

My mom always laughs three times at jokes.

Once when you tell it to her.
Once when you explain it to her.
And once when she gets it.

Three moms are talking and having lunch together...

One mom had black hair, the next was brunette, and the third was blonde.
The black haired mom says "You guys won't believe what I found in my daughters room yesterday. A cigarette! I've never even smoked."
The brunette mom says "You won't believe what I found in *my* daughters room yesterday. Whiskey! I've never even drank."
The blonde mom says "Well guess what I found in *my* daughters room yesterday. A condom! I've never even had sex before."

Back in the day, I 'member me and my mom going to the store with two dollars in her purse and coming back with a big bag of spuds, two loaves of bread, a pound of cheese, three gallons of milk, half a dozen eggs and coffee…

You can't do that anymore…too many security cameras…

A poor guy sitting in a bar

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!"

Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back,

points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!"

Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"

Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"

There was three brothers: Little Tear, Little Feather and Little Brick

One day, Little Tear asked their mom:

β€” Mommy, why I'm called 'Little Tear'?

Then Mom said:

β€” That's because when you were born, a tear dropped in your head.

......

So Little Feather asked:

β€” And why I'm called like that?

β€” That's because a feather fell on your head when you were born, son.

......

Lastly, Little Brick asked:

β€” *ANNNNNNNNNNHHHHAOAOAOOA*

Three young boys are exploring the woods near a river

One of the boys is crouched behind a rock and is looking at something.
He calls the other two over to look with him.
In the river is a beautiful naked woman bathing.
One of the boys immediately starts running in the other direction screaming.
What's wrong? Says one boy.
My mom told me if I ever saw a naked woman I would turn to stone! He says And something's already turning hard!

My mom taught me that a couple was always two or three.

That explains why dad left.

Considering the hundreds of times my breakfast came with three...

You'd think I'd be more sympathetic of this two bit operation. Mom was right.
My egg-pectations are too high.

Your mom is like a bowling ball.

She's round, heavy, gets picked up, fingered in three holes, tossed in the gutter and she still comes back for more.

A pregnant woman walks into a bank being robbed,

She tried to call the cops and got shot in the stomach three times. Luckily, all her children were safe.

15 years later, one of her daughters came up to her and said, "Mom, I was peeing and a bullet came out." So, she told her daughter the story.

Then, her other daughter walked into the room and she said, "Mom, I was peeing and a bullet came out." So, she told her daughter the story.

Finally, her son came in and she assumed she knew what he was going to say, "Let me guess, you were peeing and a bullet came out?"

The son replied, "No, what? I was masturbating and I shot the dog."

Three girls are in the back seat, their parents are in the front

Girl 1: Mom, why did you name me Violet?

Mother: Oh Violet, your grandmother dropped a violet on your head the day you were born.

Girl 2: Mom, why did you name me Daisy?

Mother: When we were walking out of the hospital the nurse put a daisy on your head.

Girl 3: Jwoandbwoqmsbonbf, whwhsbsowngk

Father: Shut up cinderblock

There were three sisters and all were wondering how they got their names

So the first one goes, mommy, why is my name rose? Mom says, because a rose fell on your head when you were born second sister says, mommy, why is my name tiara? Mom says, because a tiara fell on your head when u were born . The last sister goes, BLAHWARADURGABAAAA!! And the mom says, shut up BRICK!!

Three moms were driving and nearly ran over a Lizard.

It was car ma car ma car ma chameleon.

Three women walk into a space bar

That one is my mom say hi to my mom hi mom

The best in town!

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet!" Again, the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally, the guy interrupts. "Go home, dad, you're drunk.

There were three brothers Feather, Pillow and Brick.

One day Feather went to his mother and asked:
-Mom, why is my name Feather?
-Because when you were born and we brought you home from the hospital a feather fell on your head.
-she replied.

Next day Pillo asked the same question.
-Mom, why is my name Pillow?
-Because when you were born and we brought you home from the hospital a pillow fell on your head.

The third day Brick went up to her mom and goes:

-The Earth is flat!

A mother had three kids called Drop, Feather, and Brick

A mother had three kids called Drop, Feather, and Brick.

Perplexed, the first kid asks his mother "Mom, why did you named me Drop?"

And she says: "Because when you were born, a little drop fell in your head..."

The second kid asks: "Mom, why did you named me Feather?"

She answers: "Because when you were born, a feather fell in your head..."

Finally, the third kid says: "GUhhhGaahh \*loud noises\* HUEHUE"





Sorry guys

My aunt has three daughters

One day her three daughter run up to her mom and one of them yells
"mom!!! Why am I named rose?"
"Well sweetie, when you where born a rose pedal fell on your head"
The second daughter.
"Mommy!!!!!!!!! Why am I named violet?"
"Because when you where born a violet somehow fell on your head"
The third child.
"Djfiiiggf fiichd ajjguie fuuhsb?"
"Oh shut up brick"

Change for a $15 bill

An incompentent counterfeiter spent all day making his funny money. At the end of the day he realizes he spent all his time making $15 bills.

He figures that the only way he's going to get anything from this batch of money, is to find a place where the people aren't too bright and change his phoney money for real cash.

He travels to a small town and walks into a small Mom and Pop grocery store. He goes to the old man behind the counter and asks him, "Do you have change for a $15 bill?"

The old man replies, "I sure do...How would you like that? An eight and a seven or two sixes and a three?"

Three kids walk into a room

The first kid says to their mom mom why am I name daisy?

The mom replies because when you were born a daisy landed on your head

the second kid asks mom why am I named rose

The mom replied because when you were born I found a rose landed on your head

The third kid walks in uhh hello mumajsagshhshayayauh

The mom replies not now cinder block

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from hisgrandmother,

he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight andheaded for the nearest sink.

I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with waterguns?"

Mom smiled and then replied....."I remember."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the three moms threeway jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working three moms younger piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes