three mice Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious three mice puns

Three mice are arguing whether the holes are part of the cheese or not.

The one that thought they WERE went to the wise old owl for advice. When he got back, the cheese was gone. He asked the other two mice:

"What happened to the cheese?"

They replied:

"We decided to agree with you, so we split the cheese into thirds, and your third happened to be the holes."

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Three mice are at a bar arguing about who's the coolest.

The first one says, "When I see a mouse trap I grab the cheese with one hand and do a little workout with the other."

The second one scoffs and says, "Whenever I come across rat poison I chop it up with a razor and fucking snort it."

Suddenly the third one gets up from the table. The other two look at him and ask, "What's up? Did we leave you speechless?"

"You bore me", he answers, "I'm gonna go home and fuck the cat."

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Three tough mice.

Three mice are sitting at the bar, bragging on how tough they are.

The first one says, "I'm so tough I jump into a mouse trap, catch the bar, bench press it 10 times, then take the cheese"

The second one says, "Oh yeah, well I smash up that rat poison and sniff it to get a buzz"

The third mouse gets up and starts to walk away.

"Hey where you going?"

"I'm going home to fuck the cat"

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Hickory Dickory Dock...

Three mice ran up the clock

The clock struck one

But the rest escaped with minor injuries.

(Something my grandfather told me when I was five)

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Three mice are throwing back whiskey and talkin' tough.

The first mouse says, "I'm not saying I'm the biggest badass in the world, but lemme just tell you what I do each morning. I grab a nice big hunk of rat poison and crush it in my paws and sprinkle it in my coffee. Just for the buzz."

The second mouse says, "You think that's tough? Me, I wake up and head right for the mouse trap. I press the button and *whap!* I grab the bar, do about 20 bench presses with it, grab the cheese, and I am outta there."

The third mouse, silent until this point, pounds his shot and says, "later guys. Gotta go home and fuck the cat."

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Three mice walk into a bar...

After a few drinks, they get into a heated argument about how tough they are.

The first mouse says, When I see a mousetrap, I lay on my back and set it off with my foot. Then, I catch the bar with my teeth and bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite. Only then do I make off with the cheese!

The second mouse says, Oh yeah? Well, whenever I see rat poison, I take it all and grind it into powder. Then when morning comes, I use it to flavor my coffee! It helps me get a nice buzz going for the rest of the day!

The third mouse, checking his watch, sighs, stands up and says I've gotta go. I have a date with a cat.

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Three mice are sitting at a bar

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."
The second mouse orders up two shots of sour mash, pounds them both, slams each glass onto the bar, turns to the first mouse, and replies, "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse.

The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this. I've got a date with the cat."

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Santa's bad day

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were gone, heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had finished the cider and the liquor.

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the liquor bottle, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa stomped to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'


And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

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Three mice in a bar...

Three mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are.

The first mouse slams a shot and boasts, "I play with mouse traps for fun. I run through one, and as the bar comes down I grab it and do 20 or 30 bench presses with it." He then slams another shot.

The second mouse slams a shot and boasts, "I take those DeCon tablets, crush them up, lay them into lines and snort them just for fun." He then slams another shot.

The third mouse slams a shot, then gets up and starts walking away. The other two look at each other, then shout after him, "Hey! Where are you going?"

"I'm going home to fuck the cat."

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Three Badass Mice walk into a bar.


Three mice walk into a bar.

The first mouse takes a swig of his beer and says, "I am a badass mouse. In my neighborhood, we have these big mousetraps. I'm so tough that I walk up to them, grab the cheese, catch the bar and press it up and down with one arm while I eat the cheese. I'm a badass mouse."

The second mouse takes a couple swigs of his beer and says, "That's nothin'. In my neighborhood we have that rat-poison stuff. I grab it, throw it in my water and gargle it. It ain't nothin'. I'm a badass mouse."

The third mouse slams his beer, gets up, and starts walking away. The other two ask, "Where are you going?" The third mouse looks at them and says, "I'm going home to screw the cat."

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So a cat goes to heaven and the lord says he'll grant him one wish...

So a cat goes to heaven and the lord says he'll grant him one wish. The cat says, "Lord, I'd like a fluffy pillow to lay on." So the lord gave him a fluffy pillow.

The next day, three mice died and went to heaven. The lord said he'd grant them one wish. The mice said, "Lord, we'd like to have roller skates so we can skate in heaven." So the lord gave the mice roller skates.

The next day, the lord visited the cat and asked, "How is your fluffy pillow?"
The cat replied, "I'm loving the fluffy pillow. But you know what I love even more? Those meals on wheels."

...
An old lady stood at the check out where I work for two minutes, after I checked her out, just to tell me this. I laughed way too hard.

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Three mice

Three mice are sitting in a bar having drinks. They all order a shot of whiskey together and are thinking of something to drink to.

The first mouse says, "I'm so fucking hardcore the first thing I do when I go home every night is find a pill of rat poison, grind it up, and use it to season all my food" while showing off all of his chest hair. He slams his shot.

The second mouse says, as he flexes to show off "that's pretty hard core, but the first thing I do when I get home every night is find a mouse trap, step on it to set it off and catch the bar as it comes down. I do a few sets of ten before I eat the cheese" . He slams his shot.

The third mouse rolls his eyes, takes his shot and says "Man I don't have time for this shit. I have to go fuck my cat"

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Three mice are sitting at a bar...

Arguing about which one is the most bad ass mouse. The first one says. "You know those traps with the cheese? I can sneak the cheese out without setting them off." As he munches on a piece. The second mouse says. "Man you ain't shit! You know those poison pellets they set out to kill us? They don't do shit to me." Pulls one out and crushes it on the bar and snorts it all in one go. The third mouse shakes his head and says. "Y'all are both some little bitches, I'm Fucking the cat!"

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Hickory, Dickory, Dock ...

Three mice ran up the clock,
The clock struck one,
And the rest escaped with minor injuries

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What has six eyes but can't see?

Three blind mice.

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3 Mice in a Bar

Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says: "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times."

The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can and take it home. In the morning, I grind it up into a powder and put it in my coffee so I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and fuck the cat."

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Three Mice Are Bragging to eachother

The first mouse says: I will eat tons of mouse-poison, but it does nothing to me. The second mouse says, well for me a mouse trap is peanuts! I just pull the lever and take the cheese!

The Third says: Oh you two, stop bragging already! Wait... what time is it? Oh, I have to go home, i have to feed the cat!

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So three mice get into Heaven...

And they are greeted by St. Peter. Peter says to them "Because you lived good lives, each of you gets one wish." They say to Peter "We spent our entire lives running from predators, and our legs got very tired. Can you give us skateboards to get around?" Peter obliges, and they get three skateboards.

About a week later, Peter is checking in on everybody in Heaven. He runs into the cat that died about a month earlier, and he asks how he is doing. The cat says "Heaven is fabulous! I especially love the meals on wheels you sent me a few days ago!"

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Christmas Angel

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful Christmas tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'


And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

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Three blind ______

In Asia, its not 3 blind mice. It's 3 blind rice.

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The Three Blind Mice walked into a bar...

...they missed.

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Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock

The clock struck one, but the other two got away.

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What are the most funny Three Mice jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Three Mice? Well, here are the best Three Mice dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Three Mice pick up lines to share with friends.

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