Three Kings Jokes
20 three kings jokes and hilarious three kings puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about three kings that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Three Kings Short Jokes
Short three kings jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The three kings humour may include short three wise men jokes also.
- There was a king with three cups. He filled the first cup. He filled the second cup. But he left the third cup empty.
What was the kings name?
King Philip the Third.
- A teacher asked, "Johnny, can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?" Little Johnny responded, "Drin-king, smo-king, and f*c-king."
- Teacher: can anyone name three Kings that brought happiness and peace to earth? Student: Drin King, Smo King, and Fuc King!
- A road king is dying and has a meeting with his three sons Each of the sons thought
How will the land be divided?
How will our subjects fair?
When will he croooak?
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Three Kings One Liners
Which three kings one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with three kings? I can suggest the ones about kings and three brothers.
- The king splits his kingdom for his three sons... -F**k yeah, said the Fourth Son
Three Kings Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about three kings you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean three men jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make three kings pranks.
A medieval astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress would soon die.
Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman's death. He summoned the astrologer and gave him this command: "Prophet, tell me when you will die!"The astrologer realized that the king was planning to kill him, immediately, no matter what answer he gave. So he said, finally, "I do not know when I will die. I only know that whenever I die, you will die three days later."
There are 500 bricks on a plane...
- There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?
499
- What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge
- What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge
- The Lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it and why?
Giraffe. He's stuck in a refrigerator.
- Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely. Why?
The alligators are all at the birthday party.
- Sally dies anyways. Why?
She got hit in the head by a flying brick
The name and symbol for Bluetooth are based on a Danish-Norwegian king, dubbed 'Harald Bluetooth'
He had three wives, and four children between them. One then became his heir.
In other words, Bluetooth paired successfully
The old, evil, bald king had three sons.
The youngest one shared his traits but the two older sons were not of an evil nature. In order to make sure the youngest one succeeded him, the king captured a fairy and promised it freedom in exchange for a wish.
"I wish for my youngest son to be my heir" said the king.
The son disappeared and the king was no longer bald.
Timmy Learns to Count
A preschool teacher asked her students in class, "who can count from one to ten?"
Little 3-year old Timmy swiftly raised his hand, "I can!" and started counting "one, two, three four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!"
The teacher is impressed, "Well done Timmy! Who taught you that?"
"My uncle Bobby!" Timmy said.
"Can you count past ten?" The teacher asked Timmy.
"That's easy!" Timmy continued, "Jack, Queen, King..."
The CIA, The Mossad and The KGB.
A mummy was found in Egypt, and to determine its age and whatnot, three best forensic teams of the world decided to start a competition.
The CIA went first. They studied the mummy for a year, and then came up with a result: the person lived around 1000 years BC, plus or minus 200 years.
The Mossad goes next. They study the mummy for a month, and conclude: it was a pharaoh who ruled 1000 years BC, give or take 100 years.
The KGB team goes next. They hold the mummy for a week, and then come up with this: it was Pharaoh Ramenhotep the Second, born 1022 BC, became king after murdering his uncle, ruled for five years, on the third year of his reign the Nile flooded Luxor, on the fourth year the hittites attacked.
Everyone is perplexed: "How did you find all this out?"
"He confessed"
A prophet in france
There was a prophet in France during the reign of king Louis XI who predicted the death of one of his advisors eight days before the advisor died.
The king decided that the prophet was too dangerous to be left alive and called on his royal guard
"Grab this prophet and bring him to me." the king said
So they did and brought him to the king
The prophet knew what was going on of course
The king decided to ask the prophet one more question to see if he truly was what he claimed to be
"Do you know when you are going to die?" the king asked the prophet
"Yes I do" answered the prophet
"Well, when?"
"I am going to die three days before you."
A hawk, lion, and skunk are gathered in the woods...
A hawk, lion, and skunk are gathered in a forest arguing over who is the mightiest of the animals.
The hawk said "I am the mightiest for I can fly way up high and see my prey from far distances."
The lion said "No, I am the mightiest! For I can run the fastest and I am king of the jungle!"
The skunk then said "No, I'm the mightiest! I can release such a stench it would force you both to run and hide from me!"
Just then, a bear came out of nowhere and swallowed all three in one fell swoop hawk, lion, and stinker!
One day a court astrologer predicted that the Queen would die next day.
One day a court astrologer predicted that the Queen would die next day.
When she really died the next day, the King wanted to get the astrologer killed as he thought that he had purposefully conspired to kill the Queen to fulfill his prophecy.
The guards brought the astrologer to the court and the King asked him: "You seem to predict very well. Tell me, when are you going to die?"
The astrologer, with dead seriousness on his tone, said-"I shall die three days before you, Oh great king of kings!".
His life was spared.
Daddy and His Son's Three Wives.
The innocence of a 5 year old
A 5 year old son after been read the story of a king.....
Son: Mom, I also want 3 wives; one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me.
Mom: And one will put you to sleep.
Son: No mom, I will still sleep with you.
Mom's eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son, Mom said.
Mom: but who will sleep with your 3 wives?
Son: Let them sleep with Daddy.
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son, Daddy said.
Mom glaring at Daddy
Three ducks walk into a bar...
The first duck walks up to the bar and the bartender asks "What's your name, what's your drink, and how was your day?" the first duck replies "My name is Bill, I'll have a rye and coke, and I had a GREAT day! I was in and out of puddles all day! Splashing around, gettin' wet, having fun!"
The second duck walks in. The bartender asks the duck "What's your name, what's your drink, and how was your day?" The duck says, "My name's Joe, I'll have a gin and tonic, and I had a GREAT day! I was in and out of puddles all day! Splashing around, getting wet, having fun!"
The third duck walks into the bar, the barkeeper asks him "What's your name, what's your drink, and how was your day?" the duck looks him dead in the eyes and replies "My name is Puddles, I'll have three shots of tequila, and I don't want to talk about my f**king day."
There's 500 bricks in a plane. How many are there if you throw one out?
"499"
There are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator. What are they?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge.
There are four steps to putting a deer in the fridge. What are they?
Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the deer in, close the fridge.
The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals are there but one. Why is that?
The deer is in the fridge.
A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it?
She crosses normally because the alligators are at the Lion King's party.
She dies anyways. Why?
She gets hit in the head with a brick.
Lancelot!
Lancelot, the chief knight of King Arthur, wanted to spend some time with Queen Guinevere. He couldn't, however, get her away from Arthur, so he calls Merlin the wizard to help him.
"I want to be with the Queen, help me"
So Merlin pours some itchy powder in her underwear. Soon, the Queen starts to feel the effect. Arthur, desperate, calls Merlin to advise him on what to do.
"Your majesty, this is an enchantment which only the saliva of noble knight Lancelot can cure. He must apply it to the Queen for three hours"
The King concedes, and Lancelot has his wish granted. The next day, Merlin goes to Lancelot:
"I've kept my part. Pay me"
"What? I won't pay you for only three hours!"
This angers Merlin, who leaves, then puts itchy powder on the King's boxers. Arthur, in pain, calls out:
"Lancelot!"
Three homeless guys at a shelter..
Due to a shortage of beds to lay in at a homeless shelter, three men were set to be laying together in a California King sized mattress. That night, the three go to bed.
They wake up the next morning to the alarm clock going off, waking the three up.
The man on the left says "Hmm, I had the oddest dream. I had a dream that I was being given a h**...."
The man on the right says "Yeah. Me, too."
The man in the center says "Hmm, that's weird. I dreamed I was skiing."