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Three Guys Walk Into A Bar Jokes

81 three guys walk into a bar jokes and hilarious three guys walk into a bar puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about three guys walk into a bar that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Three Guys Walk Into A Bar Short Jokes

Short three guys walk into a bar jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The three guys walk into a bar humour may include short three men walk into a bar jokes also.

  1. For my cake day, I'd like to share my favorite joke of all time. Three guys were walking down the street.
    Two of them walked into a bar.
    The third guy ducked.
  2. Three men walk into a bar The fourth one asks "You guys ok? Didn't you see that low hanging bar?"
  3. Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, Do you guys think this is a repost? The first logician says, I don't know. The second replies, I'm not sure. The third one answers, Yes!
  4. A three-legged dog walks into a bar and puts a shotgun on the table.... Barman asks, *" How can I help you?*
    "I'm looking for the guy who shot my paw"
  5. So a three legged dog walks into a bar... He looks around and asks, "who's the guy that shot my paw?"
  6. Three brunettes and a redhead walk in to a bar. A guy at the bar says "Hey, what's going on?"
  7. A Jewish, Catholic, Buddhist, and an atheist each walk into a bar. You'd think the last guy would know not to hurt himself after watching three guys walk into a bar.
  8. Three guys were in a bar Three guys were in a bar, then a drunk walks in and say:
    "Aww beautiful, the Fantastic Four"
    "But man, we are only 3"
    "Because the woman is invisible".
  9. Three guys walk into a bar together... You would've thought at least one of them would have seen it!
  10. So there's a three-legged dog who walks into a saloon He sits at the bar and orders a drink, and tells the bartender,
    "I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot mah paw"

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Three Guys Walk Into A Bar One Liners

Which three guys walk into a bar one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with three guys walk into a bar? I can suggest the ones about two guys walk into a bar and three men in a bar.

  1. Three guys walk into a bar... Honestly the third guy should have seen it.
  2. Three guys walk into a bar.. The fourth one ducked.
  3. Three blind guys walk into a bar. Oof.
  4. So three guys walk into a bar... You would've thought the third one would have noticed.
  5. Three guys walk into a bar... And their families are slowly torn apart by alcoholism.
    (
  6. Three guys walk into a bar One ducks!
  7. Three guys walk in to a bar... The 4th one ducks
  8. Three guys walk into a bar... You think the third guy would have learned to duck.
  9. Three guys Three guys walked into a bar and stopped

Rib-Tickling Three Guys Walk Into A Bar Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about three guys walk into a bar you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean a woman walks into a bar jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make three guys walk into a bar pranks.

This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks, one in each hand, and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the bartender. The bartender is experienced, and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. They chat for about 30 minutes before the guy with the ducks has to go to the restroom.
The ducks are left on the bar. The bartender is alone with the ducks. There is an awkward silence. The bartender decides to try to make some conversation. "What's your name?" He says to the first duck.
"Huey" replies the first duck. "How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day."
"Oh. That's nice," says the Bartender. Then he says to the second duck "Hi, and what's your name?" "Dewey," came the answer. "So how's your day been, Dewey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance another day I would do the same again." So the bartender turns to the third duck and says, "So, you must be Louie." "No," growls the third duck, "my name is Puddles, and don't ask about my day."

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots.

"
Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now.
One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.
The bartender asks "He can drink?"
"Oh, sure. He can drink."
So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.
"That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?"
The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says,
"Hey, Jake.
Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter.
Then he runs back down and gives it to the man.
The bartender is in total shock.
"That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do?
Does he talk?"
The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor's powers!"

Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help.


One is and alcoholic, One is a chain s**... and the other is gay.
The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die.
So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist.
He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain s**... sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain s**... "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"

Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man.


o**... said he was going to bug him.
He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a s**...."
"Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that."
Puzzled, the English man walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a s**... and he didn’t care!"
"You just don’t know how to set him off, watch and learn."
The second English man walked over and tapped the Irish man on the shoulder. "I hear your St. Patrick was a t**...!"
"Oh, wow, I didn’t know that, thank you."
Shocked beyond belief, the English man went back to his buddies. "You are right, he is unshakable!"
The third English man said: "No, no, no, I will really big him, you just watch."
The English man walked over to the Irish man, tapped him on the shoulder and said: "I hear your St. Patrick was an English man!"
"Yeah, that’s what your buddies were trying to tell me."

A guy goes into this bar, sits down and orders a drink.


While waiting, he sees a guy sitting at the bar who has a very big muscular body but a little tiny head.
So, he asks the guy, "How is it that you have such a huge body and a small head?"
The guy replied, "I was walking along the beach one day and I came across this bottle buried halfway in the sand. So I picked it up, brushed away the sand, and out popped this fine female genie. She said she would grant me three wishes for releasing her."
"For my first wish, I asked for ten-million dollars, and p**... right there on the sand was $10,000,00."
"For my second wish, I asked for a luxury yacht, and p**... right there on the ocean was a 90-foot yacht."
"Finally for my third wish, I asked to have s**... with the genie, but she said that genies were not allowed to indulge in that kind of activities."
So, I said, "c'mon, how about a little head?"

A man walks into a bar and sits next to a guy with a little head.......

After having a couple drinks the man asks the other guy, "hey, I don't mean to be rude, but how is it you have such a small head."
The guy replies, "well it's a bitter sweet story. You see when I was in the war my plane got shot down in the Pacific. I parachuted out and ended up on an deserted island."
He continued, "after several months on this deserted island, a beautiful mermaid suddenly appeared and granted me three wishes."
"My first wish is that I'd like to be rescued from this island I told her."
To which the Mermaid said, "tomorrow a rescue boat will find you."
"My second wish is that I'd like to be rich for the rest of my days."
The Mermaid said, "invest early in these companies, and you will be a wealthy man...and what is your final wish?"
"Well Mermaid, you know I've been stranded on this island for so long, and seeing as you are so beautiful, I'd wish for nothing more than to sleep with you."
The Mermaid sighed and said, "I cannot grant you that wish, you see I'm a half fish, it would not work."
Frustrated, the man said, "Well how about a little head then?"

A guy walks into a bar and notices a large pile of $10 bills ....

He asks the bartender what the pile of money is about, and the bartender tells him, "We have a long-running contest here. You put in $10, and if you can complete three tasks, you get to walk away with the whole pile."
"What are the three tasks?" asks the man.
"Well, first you have to go over there in the corner, grab that large bottle of tequila, and c**...-a-lug the whole thing in one go without making a face.
"Second, you have to go out back where we keep Killer, our crazy mongrel wild dog, and extract one of his teeth using only your bare hands.
"If you get this far, you're going up to the fourth floor. There's an 80-year-old woman living there. She's a v**..., and you have to deflower her."
"Fine," says the man, "I can do this." He throws down his $10, goes over to the corner, grabs the tequila, and downs the whole thing without making a face. The bar patrons give him a light round of applause.
Already feeling tipsy, he stumbles to the back door. For the next three minutes, horrible, guttural animal sounds emanate. He stumbles back in, hair wild, clothes torn to shreds, covered in cuts, bruises, and blood, and growls, "Alright, now where's that old lady who needs her tooth pulled?"

A man walks up to a bartender...

and he says, "I bet you $2,000 that I can sit on your bar stool, spin around and pee nto that shot glass on the other side of the bar.". The bartender says, "Okay, lets see it.". Then the man starts and he pees all over the bar without a single drop landing in the shot glass. The bartender just laughs and then the man pays him the $2,000. The bartender then asks why he took the bet if he knew he couldn't do it. The man replies "I bet the three guys over there that I could pee all over your bar and all you would do is laugh for $10,000."

Three men are on an airplane...

One of them has a knife, one has a gun, and the other has a bomb. The first guy with the knife, realizes that he cannot go through with h**... the plane, so he throws the knife out the window.
The second guy, with the gun, also decides that he cannot go through with h**... the plane, and throws his gun out the window.
Alas, the third guy also makes this decision, and throws the bomb out of the window.
Their plane lands sometime later and they decide to grab a drink at the bar. Upon walking up to a bar they notice everyone is gathered around the tv, watching intently. It shows 3 children...
"what happened?" the men ask the fellow patrons.
"shh, just watch"
On TV:
Reporter: "Son, why are you crying?"
Kid 1: "My daddy got stabbed by a knife from the sky!!!"
The man that threw the knife out realizes that it was his knife and feels horrible...
Reporter: "Little girl, why are you crying?"
Kid 2: "My daddy got shot from a gun falling from the sky!!!"
The man that threw the gun out realizes that it was his gun and feels horrible...
Reporter talking to the final child: "Kid, why are you... laughing?"
Kid 3: "My daddy f**... and the house blew up!!!!"

This Joke Is A Real Lemon

A barman was very proud of the fact that he could squeeze a lemon so that no more juice would come out of it He made a standing offer of $1000 to anyone who could get more juice out of a lemon after he'd squeezed it. Every night big, burly regulars at the bar attempted to get more juice from a lemon he'd squeezed, but no one could produce so much as a drop. But one night, a little bloke walked in and said he'd heard of the standing offer and would like to try. The barman said 'How do you think you could succeed when all these blokes have failed?' And the little guy said: 'Just give me a chance and I'll show you'.
So the barman, thinking his regulars would enjoy the joke, picked up a lemon and squeezed it. After squeezing all the juice he could out of it, he handed the dried ring to the little bloke and said: 'Here you go.' The little bloke took the lemon and squeezed it and managed to get one, two, three for fix, SIX more drops of juice. Amazed, the barman said: 'Well, here's your $1000. But what do you do for a living? Are you a professional bodybuilder or what?' And the little bloke said: 'No, I work for the Tax Department.'

Genie with a flaw

A guy walks into a bar. He sets a bag onto the bar, orders three shots of whiskey, and slams them all back.
The bartender asks, "Hey buddy, what's the problem?"
The guy reaches into the bag, pulls out a little piano, then set it on the bar. He reaches back inside, pulls out a little stool, and sets it in front of the piano. He reaches in one more time, pulls out a little man, and sits him on the stool. The man then proceeds to play a wonderful sonata that fills the establishment and leaves the patrons in awe.
"Wow, that was great!" exclaimed the bartender. "Where'd you find this guy?"
The man reaches into the bag one last time and pulls out a lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says "Rub it."
The bartender rubs the lamp and a genie pops out. The genie says "I shall grant you one wish, whatever your heart desires."
"I want a million bucks!" the bartender shouts.
"It shall be done." And the genie disappears.
A minute later, a duck walks into the bar. And then another duck, and then another. Soon the bar is full of ducks.
"Hey buddy," the bartender says to the man. "I think your genie is a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."
"Yeah," said the man. "Do you think I really asked for a twelve-inch pianist?"

A guy walks into a bar...

He asks the bartender for eight shots of whiskey, doesn't matter what kind. Bartender asks "What's the special occasion?" The guy says "I'm celebrating my first b**......" The guy takes three shots quickly. The bartender says "congratulations! Have one on me, but why so many shots?" The guy says "To get the taste out of my mouth."

An old Irishman walks into a bar.

Upon seating the bartender walks down to the old fellow and asks him what he'd like to drink. "I'll have 3 Guinness, one for me and two for me sons back home in Ireland." The bartender considers his request and pours and sets 3 pints in front of the old guy. The old man slowly drinks all three Guinness and leaves. This goes on for several months. One day the Irishman orders two Guinness. The bartender has learned a little about the old man and his sons and feels he has come to respect the old man and is concerned. "I don't mean to intrude or get personal," says the bartender, "but I couldn't help but notice you only ordered two Guinness today. Are both your sons okay?"
The old man looks to the bartender with a smile and says,"That's mighty kind of ya lad. My sons are fine. I just quit drinking."

Guy walks into a bar...

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. While he sits there he notices a jar full of money on the bar. Next to the jar is a sign that reads, "complete the challenge win the prize." Curious, the guy asks the bartender about the challenge. The bartender explains there are three parts that must be completed. First: Down a gallon of tequila straight in under five minutes. Second: An alligator out back has a terrible tooth and ache and the tooth has to be pulled. Third: Have s**... with the dirtiest h**... in the place. The guy thinks it over and he accepts the challenge. He downs the tequila in no time. Then he staggers out back and everyone in the bar hears an awful commotion. Then silence. The guy stumbles back in the door his clothes torn to sheds. He yells, "Now! Where's that h**... with the tooth ache?"

Three are guys sitting around in heaven..

Three guys are in heaven, each sharing the story of their death. The first guy, propped up on his cloud recalls his ultimate demise. "Well, I had been sent home from work early one afternoon, and when I got home my wife was half n**... and obviously surprised to see me. I found a pair of men's pants in the lounge, and in my rage smashed the TV. Then I found a necktie in the bedroom, and overturned the dresser. THEN I found all the empty beer bottles on my bar, and threw the bar fridge out the window. In my rage I had a heart attack, and here I am.
The second guy frowns, and exclaims how strange that was. "Well, that is bizarre. I was taking a walk one day and was minding my own business, when out of nowhere I was struck by a falling fridge. I died instantly and here I am."
The third guy thinks for a second and says "Well, I'll tell my story but you ain't gonna like it. I was hiding in this fridge..."

WALKS INTO A BAR... MERMAID s**...

An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.
"I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"
The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have s**... with the mermaid."
"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"
"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have s**..., so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."

Three Logicians Walk into a Bar

The bartender greets them and asks, "Are any of you guys drinking beer?"
The first logician says, "I don't know."
The second logician says, "I don't know."
The third logician says, "No."

A bad night of drinking...

Three men walk into a bar and sit beside each other with their hands over their faces, obviously in distress.
Bartender - "Looks like you guys had it rough."
Man 1 - "Could we please just have some water, our wives are coming to meet us later but we drank so much last night that I can't even look at alcohol right now. I don't even want to be in here."
Bartender hands them all glasses of water, "Tell me about this big night you had, I'm bored out of my mind."
Man 1 - "Well, we all met after the game last night to celebrate and drank way too much. In fact, I got so drunk that I blew chunks!"
Man 2 - "That's nothing, I got so drunk that I stole a cab and picked people up for rides. Lucky I didn't get arrested!"
Man 3 - "Psh, I beat you all. I got so drunk that I picked up a p**... and had s**... with her in my bed, while my wife was there! Luckily she's a deep sleeper."
Man 1 - "You guys don't get it! Chunks is my dog!"

Three guys walk into a bar, an air force pilot, a marine, and a police officer...

The pilot says "I'll have a pint of your finest lager." The bartender serves him some beer. The marine says, "Line up three shots of r**...." The bartender obliges. Finally the cop says "Give me a glass of cabernet." The bartender gives the cop his wine. The three men pay, have their drinks and leave.
The bartender looks bemused as though he expected something different. He sets out some tumblers, and starts pouring gingerale into each one. He follows with some orange juice. The old wino at the end of the bar asks him what's up. He says "After all this, I felt we needed a punch line."

A man walks into a bar...

An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.
"I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"
The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have s**... with the mermaid."
"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"
"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have s**..., so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."

An alcoholic, a s**... and a gay guy go to a psychiatrist

An alcoholic, a s**... and a gay guy go to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist evaluates their addictions and warns them, "If you indulge in your bad habit ONE MORE TIME, you will drop dead."
So the three men acknowledge his warning and leave the clinic.
As they walked down the sidewalk, discussing their fate, the Alcoholic proclaims, "I don't care what happens to me! I need a drink!" He runs into a bar, takes a shot of whiskey, and drops dead.
The s**... and gay guy--shocked that the psychiatrist was telling the truth--continue walking.
A few minutes later they see a full cigarette burning on the sidewalk. The s**... starts to sweat. And looks over at the gay guy. "I just need ONE MORE drag!"
The gay guy says, "Honey, if you bend down to pick that up, we're BOTH gonna drop dead!"

Three guys walk into an exotic bar...

Three guys- Sam, Jim, and Mike- walk into an exotic bar and see something strange. Every single person in the bar is standing in four separate lines. The three guys approach the bar and asks the bartender what is going on. "If you want to get served, ya gotta get in a line. What do you boys want?"
"I'll have a beer", Sam said and the bartender pointed to the beer line.
"I'll have some bourbon", Jim said and the bartender pointed to the whiskey line.
"I'm not drinking tonight, so do you have any fruit punch?" asked Mike. The bartender stares blankly then signals over his bouncer.
"Hey Bobby, kick this man out!"
"Woah, woah, what did I do wrong?" cried Mike.
"There is no punchline!"

A Man's Three Wishes

An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can't help but noticing the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.
"I gotta ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"
The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have s**... with the mermaid."
"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"
"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have s**..., so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."

Three guys walk into a bar

Three guys walk into a bar
A mexican
A Jew
and an Irishman
the irishman says something foolish i cant remember!

A Very Short Man

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.
The bartender asks "He can drink?"
"Oh, sure. He can drink."
So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.
"That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?"
The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man.
The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?"
The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor!"

Three slabs of concrete walk into a bar

They sit down, order drinks and start bragging about how strong they are. As they're doing this a small bit of green tarmac walks in and they hide under the table as it orders its drink.
When it leaves they all get up and the barman asks them
"What's up with you guys? I thought all of you were tough."
"Oh, we're tough," they said, "but he's a cycle path."

A Little Man

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.
The bartender asks "He can drink?"
"Oh, sure. He can drink."
So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.
"That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?"
The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man.
The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?"
The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor's powers!"

There are four guys walking down the sidewalk.

The first three walk into a bar. The last one ducked.

Three guys walk into a bar: an alcoholic, a priest, and a child m**......

And that's just the first guy.

My favourite joke

So a guy goes into a pub, walks up to the bar and asks for a pint.
The barman replies: one pound please. The guy says back: only one pound?!
The barman replies: aye only a pound.
The guy takes his pint and enjoys it and after a few more pints at a pound each the guy feels cheeky.
The guy says: ill have a steak and chips mate.
The barman replies: three quid.
The guy then asked: do you own this pub?
The barman replies: no.
The guy then asked: wheres the boss then? I want to ask why the prices are so low.
The barman replies: he's upstairs with my wife.
The guy then asked: why? Whats he doing with your wife?
The barman replies: the same thing i'm doing to his business.

Three members of the k**... walk into a bar...

They sit at the back in full costume.
The first k**... thinks to himself, "If the black guy at the bar tries to pull off my hood, I'll kill him!"
The second k**... thinks to himself, "If the gay guy at the bar tries to pull off my hood, I'll kill him!"
The third k**... thinks to himself, "If someone pulls off my hood, the gay black guy at the bar will recognize me from last night, and these two will kill me!"

An old man walks into a bar...

...and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a tennis ball.
"I have to ask, sir," says the bartender. "Without sounding rude, what happened to your head?"
The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have s**... with the mermaid."
"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"
"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have s**..., so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."

Three guys are drinking at a bar.

Suddenly, a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best s**... in town!"
The guy ignores him, and eventually the drunk wanders off.
Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!"

The guy is starting to look annoyed, but once again, he just ignores him.
Once again, the drunk wanders off.
Ten more minutes pass, and once again the drunk walks in and announces, "Your mom liked it!"
Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"

A three legged dog from the wild west walks into a bar and looks around

The bar tender looks a him and says "who are you looking for?"
to witch the dog replies "I'm looking for the guy who shot my paw"

Three logicians walk into a bar

The bartender asks them, "Do all of you guys want a drink?"
The first logician says, "I don't know."
Next, the second logician turns to the bartender and also says, "I don't know."
Then the third logician, without hesitation, says "Yes!"

Can you explain this strange adoption joke?

A close friend of mine who is my eldest daughter's godmother just posted a very strange joke that references adoption. There must be something to this joke that I am completely missing. Thirty people have gone wild over this and I don't get it. My friend can't possibly be saying something offensive about adoption. My three children are adopted and they are grown up, healthy, happy, and thriving. What is the point here?
@AAPsyc hysterical!
A lawyer, a spy, a mob boss, and a money launder walk into a bar. The bartender says: "you guys must be here to talk about adoption."
TIA

So a guy walks into a bar and sees three steaks taped to the ceiling....

He then asks the bartender why are there three steaks taped to the ceiling? The bartender says well you get one shot, if you jump up and touch one of the steaks then you get free drinks for the rest of the day, however if you miss, you must buy everyone else's drinks for the next hour. The guy ponders for a minute and then says, I would do it, but the stakes are too high.

Three men are in a bar

Three men are in a bar, talking about the Red Sox. "I think they'll win it all this year," said the first man. "No way, the Yankees are too good", said the second man. "Well, I've converted to several versions of Christianity and still belong to all of them!" declared the third man, before walking off.
"That was a strange guy," said the first man. "No," said the second man, "that was just a non-sect-quitter."

There are three men who walk into a bar, one says Kachow another says Kachigga. What did the third one say? He said Are you guys s**...?

A blind man walks into a bar...

A blind man walks into a bar, without know its a lesbian bar, and says to the bartender:
"I have the world's best blonde joke. You wanna hear it?"
The bartender says "Hey, just so you know, I'm the world champion in wrestling. The girl next to you is the world champion in taekwondo and that girl over there is the world champion in kickboxing, and we're all blonde. Are you sure you still want to tell that joke?"
The guy replies "Haha, no thanks. I don't really feel like explaining the joke three times over."

Three world famous conductors walk into a bar

A fan comes up to them and asks them, What's your secret to being such a successful conductor?
Conductor 1: I just always remember to stay calm and do what I practiced
Conductor 2: I always think about doing it for my family
Conductor three stares at them with a confused look
He says, I don't know what you guys are doing, I'm usually busy making sure I'm not holding onto my electrons to tightly

A guy walks into a bar....

Asks the bar tender for a shot of whiskey, v**... and brandy.
Nails the three shots and proceeds to say "I shouldn't have done that with what I've got! "
The bar tender replies "why, what have you got?"
"One pound" the man replies....

A blind man walks into a bar. He sits down and says "Who here wan't to hear a blond joke?"

The waitress says "Oh honey, I'm blond! And my co worker is blond too. Also, the lady sitting next to you is blond as well. Are you sure you wan't to tell it?"
The blind guy says "No, I guess not. Thanks for the warning. I don't have time to explain it three times".

Blind guy walks into a bar

A blind man walks into a bar, and after getting a little tipsy he says to the bartender.
Hey, do you want to hear a blond joke
The bartender then replies well before you start your joke there is a few things you need to know ... I'm blond 6ft 3 and im also an amateur boxer, my other friend at the bar is 6ft 1 and is the national kickboxing champion who is also blond, and finally the person who I'm about to serve next is blond 6ft 4 and looks like they have lifted weights since the day they were born .... now ... do you really want to tell that blond joke !?
The blind guy sighs ... then says naaa, not if Im going to have to explain it three time!

A nun, a horse, a duck, a Mexican, a blonde, a lesbian, an Irishman, Celine Dion, a rabbi, a talking frog, a three-legged dog, a blind man, and a guy walk into a bar...

...The bartender looks up and says, "Is this a joke?"

Blind/blonde joke

A blind guy walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. After a while, he asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies, "Sure, but before you start you should know, I'm blonde. The woman on your left is a blonde, and the man on your right has a black belt in karate and is also blonde.... Are you SURE you want to tell a blonde joke in here?" The blind man replies, "Nah, not if I have to explain it three times."

Guy walks into a bar.

Guy walk into a bar and orders a pint, bartender pours pint and gives to said customer.
The man proceeds to drink the beer as fast as possible. This happens three more times, and the bartender ask everything okay? The guy replied you'll drink like this if you had what I have!
Bartender what do you have .
Guy reply's 25cents

Joke my grandpa told me.

So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bar tender for three shots. The bar tender asks why 3? The guys says he has 2 brothers. one who lives in England, one who lives in Scotland. He says he has a shot for all 3 of them, so it feels like he's with the. The bartender give the guy his three shots. The guy continued to do this for a while. One day, the guy comes in and the bartender says, three shots? The guy says only two. The bartender asks the guy what happened to his brother, or if he's ok. The guy says that his brothers are fine, he just quit drinking.

Three comedians walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll it be, guys?"

The observational comic replies, "Isn't this just typical!" The slapstick comedian slips and bangs his head on the bar. Then the absurdist comedian says, "This joke is well-structured in a formal sense but not particularly funny."

Three men walk into a bar…

They have no money, so the bartender makes a deal with them:
I hear that the punch served at that party over there is really good, go get me some, and your drinks are free.
So o**... goes over and gets the punch. When he returns, the bartender is a bit surprised.
Well that was fast
Well, yeah, the guy replies there was no punchline.

Late again

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "My boss has really been on my case lately. Today she asked me why I've already been late three times this week," the guy complains to the bartender. "What did you say?" the bartender asks. "I told her because it's only Wednesday," the guy replies.

What is marriage like?

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "My son is almost grown up now. Over the weekend he asked me what marriage is like," he tells the bartender. "So, what did you tell him?" the bartender asks. "I told him, 'It's fine.' And then I gave him the silent treatment for three days."

A duck, a deer and a giraffe walk into a bar.

They order three shots of whiskey. They drink those down and order three more. Again, they drink those down and then get up to leave.
Bartender says, "Someone has got to pay for those!"
Duck said, "I've only got a bill."
Deer says, "I've only a buck."
Giraffe goes, "Okay guys, I guess I've got the highballs."

Three logicians walk into a bar

The bartender asks- does you guys want a drink?
The first logician thinks for a moment and says I don't know.
The second logician also replies I don't know.
The third logician promptly states Yes.

jokes about three guys walk into a bar