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Three Guys Jokes

142 three guys jokes and hilarious three guys puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about three guys that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Three Guys Short Jokes

Short three guys jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The three guys humour may include short 3 guys jokes also.

  1. Guy runs into a bar, yells "Quick! How tall is a penguin?" Bartender says "Three feet tall."
    Guy says "Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!"
  2. For my cake day, I'd like to share my favorite joke of all time. Three guys were walking down the street.
    Two of them walked into a bar.
    The third guy ducked.
  3. A Three legged dog walks into the old wild west saloon He says to the bartender, "I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot my paw."
  4. There are three guys on a boat, and they have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with – what do they do? They throw one cigarette overboard, and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
  5. A guy died and his three friends all owed him $100 each 1st and 2nd friends both put $100 on his coffin and declared repayment even in death. 3rd guy wrote a check for $300 and took the $200 change.
  6. Three guys are drinking methanol. "Quickly, let's finish the bottle, it's getting dark already," one of them observes.
  7. My grandpa would always tell me girls have two knees but guys have three You have your left knee, right knee, and your WEEknee
  8. Three old guys are sitting on a bench in the park One says, "Windy today."
    Another says, "You idiot, it's Thursday."
    The third guy says, "Me too, let's go get a beer."
  9. I was walking home when I saw two guys beating up a kid in an alley I immediately jumped in to help.
    He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
  10. I saw an old man get robbed by three guys today, so I decided to step in. He didn't stand a chance against the four of us!

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Three Guys One Liners

Which three guys one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with three guys? I can suggest the ones about three men and three people.

  1. Three guys walk into a bar... Honestly the third guy should have seen it.
  2. Three guys walk into a bar.. The fourth one ducked.
  3. A Polish guy bought a toilet brush.. three days later he went back to paper..
  4. What do you call three average white guys? A podcast
  5. Three Words to Ruin a Guy's Ego Girl: Is it in??
  6. What's got three thumbs and is bad at maths? THIS guy!
  7. How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool? Turn it over.
  8. What do they say about a guy with big hands and big feet? Two out of three ain't bad.
  9. Its not gay if its a three way The two other guys promised.
  10. I am pretty humble guy I've got my three legs on the ground
  11. Three blind guys walk into a bar. Oof.
  12. So three guys walk into a bar... You would've thought the third one would have noticed.
  13. How many ways are there to please a guy? Three way.
  14. Three guys walk into a bar... And their families are slowly torn apart by alcoholism.
    (
  15. What do you call a Five Guys Burger ran by black people? Three Guys Burger

Three Guys Walk Into A Bar Jokes

Here is a list of funny three guys walk into a bar jokes and even better three guys walk into a bar puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Three men walk into a bar The fourth one asks "You guys ok? Didn't you see that low hanging bar?"
  • Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, Do you guys think this is a repost? The first logician says, I don't know. The second replies, I'm not sure. The third one answers, Yes!
  • A three-legged dog walks into a bar and puts a shotgun on the table.... Barman asks, *" How can I help you?*
    "I'm looking for the guy who shot my paw"
  • So a three legged dog walks into a bar... He looks around and asks, "who's the guy that shot my paw?"
  • Three brunettes and a redhead walk in to a bar. A guy at the bar says "Hey, what's going on?"
  • A Jewish, Catholic, Buddhist, and an atheist each walk into a bar. You'd think the last guy would know not to hurt himself after watching three guys walk into a bar.
  • Three guys were in a bar Three guys were in a bar, then a drunk walks in and say:
    "Aww beautiful, the Fantastic Four"
    "But man, we are only 3"
    "Because the woman is invisible".
  • Three guys walk into a bar together... You would've thought at least one of them would have seen it!
  • So there's a three-legged dog who walks into a saloon He sits at the bar and orders a drink, and tells the bartender,
    "I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot mah paw"
  • Three guys walk into a bar Three guys walk into a bar
    A mexican
    A Jew
    and an Irishman
    the irishman says something foolish i cant remember!

Cheerful Three Guys Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about three guys you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean three friends jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make three guys pranks.

The best in town!

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best s**... in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet!" Again, the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally, the guy interrupts. "Go home, dad, you're drunk.

Three guys are talking about their families (likely a re-post)

Three men - Bob, Joe, and David - are bragging about their families. Bob and Joe are Catholic, and David is m**....
Joe says "I've got four athletic daughters. One more and I'll have a championship basketball team."
Bob responds "I've got eight athletic sons. One more and I'll have an all-Anerican baseball team."
David answers "I've got five beautiful wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."

Three guys are on a boat with four cigarettes, but they don't have any matches or lighters. What do they do?

They throw one cigarette overboard and the entire boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
*Stolen from BuzzFeed, but I thought it was hilarious.*

Three guys go on a ski trip...

...they arrive at the hotel only to find out that there is only one room available, and it has only one bed. They have a great day skiing and then go to sleep. The next day, they wake up. The guy on the left says "I had a dream that this beautiful woman was giving me the best h**... of my life!" The guy on the right says "I had the same dream!" The guy in the middle says "I had a dream I was skiing!"

There are three guys on a boat

There are three guys on a boat and four cigarettes, and there are no lighters or matches or anything to light them with, so what do they do?
They throw one cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

136 days!

Three guys are celebrating in a bar.
They keep high-fiving each other and yelling, " " " "
They are so excited, the bartender can't stand it any longer.
"Hey," he says, "what are you guys celebrating?"
"We finished a jigsaw puzzle!" says one of them.
"You finished a jigsaw puzzle???" says the bartender. "How come that's so exciting?"
"Well, it said on the box 'Four to six years'!"

Three guys in a bed....

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a h**...!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

Three guys show up in heaven

Three men end up at the pearly gates at the same time. St. Peter remarks that he was behind schedule and needed each to explain how they died.
The first guy said he was driving to work and he suddenly got the feeling that his wife was cheating on him. He turned around and went straight home and made a complete search of his house. His wife continually denied the affair, and with each denial he grew angrier. Finally, he pushed his refrigerator out his apartment window. His wife was suddenly scared and confessed her affair. The guy was so distraught, he jumped out the very same window to his death.
St. Peter said the death was understandable and let him in.
When the second guy steps up, St. Peter asks how he did. The second guy says, "I was just walking down the street, minding my own business when a refrigerator fell on me. St. Peter lets him in.
The third guy is asked the same question. His response: "I was just sitting in a refrigerator, minding my own business..."

Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom..

Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom.
The other three guys start talking about how succesful their sons are.
Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a cardealership and just gave his best friend a Ferarri.
Guy 2: Thats nothing, my son owns an airliner and just gave his best friend a private jet
Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a castle
Guy 4 walks out of the bathroom and walks over to the other 3 guys
Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about
Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are
Guy 4:Well, my son is a Gay stripper
Guy 2: You must be so dissappointed with what he's done with his life
Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a Ferrari, a jet, and a caste from his three boyfriends.

Three guys walk into a bar: an alcoholic, a priest, and a child m**......

And that's just the first guy.

A poor guy sitting in a bar

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best s**... in town!"
Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back,
points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!"
Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"
Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"

Three guys meet in class after a superbowl sunday, still super hungover from the night before.

The first guy pipes up and says 'Fuck. i got so drunk last night I blew chunks.' The second guy cuts him off nearly immediately screaming 'oh yeah? I was so drunk I emptied my bank account at the s**... club after. I have no money to pay rent now.' The third guy laughs at both of them and said 'that's nothing. I was so wasted last night, I sold my car to a homeless guy for 50 cents.' Finally the first guy cuts them both off. 'You guys don't understand.....Chunks is my girlfriends golden retriever.'

Three guys on a road trip.

It's late at night and they need a place to sleep. The only hotel that has a room has one double bed. So, they take it. In the night, the guy on one side wakes up, saying "I just had the most vivid dream that I was getting a h**...". The guy on the other side wakes and says "me too!" The guy in the middle wakes up and says "I just dreamed I was skiing".

Three guys are stranded on a desert island

Suddenly a good fairy appears and tells them: "I will grant each of you one wish".
The first guy says: "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, I just want to be home." His wish is granted.
The second guy says: "I've always wanted to see the world so I wish to be in Paris." His wish is granted.
The third guy says: "Oh man, now I'm all alone :(.
I wish the two other guys back!"

Three guys just met eachother and they have a conversation about different sorts of paste

The first guy says: "I know everything about tomato paste, because I own an Italian restaurant."
The second guy says: "I know everything about toothpaste, because I am a dentist."
The third guy says: "I know everything about copy-paste, because I am a Redditor."

I wish....

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

Three guys were sleeping on a single mattress

When they wake up the guy on the left whispers to the other two, "Dudes, I just had a dream I was getting a h**......It was friggin awesome."
Then the guy on the right says, "Get outta here! I had a h**... dream too!"
While they high fived and discussed the odds, the guy in the center said, "Lucky stiffs. In my dream, I was skiing."

Three guys are on a motorcycle. The guy in the middle is a stutterer.

All of a sudden the stutterer says: "F-f-f-f-f-"
Driver: Faster?
Stutterer: F-f-f-f-f-f-f
Driver: "You want me to go faster?"
Stutterer: "F-f-f-f-f-f"
Driver: I can't go any faster.
Stutterer: F-f-f-f Frank f-f-f-f-fell off.

Three guys went out camping together

One morning, when they woke up, the man sleeping on the left told his friends "I just had the best dream. I got the most amazing h**..."
The man on the right, quite surprised, told him "No way! I also got a great h**... in my dream!"
"You guys have such great dreams, it's not fair!" complained the man in the middle, "All I dreamt of was skiiing!"

Three guys are competing to see who is the best swordsman in the world.

The first guy throws an orange into the air and chops it into 10 pieces before it hits the ground.
The second guy throws a grape in the air and chops it into 20 pieces before it hits the ground.
The last guy sees a fruit fly and takes a massive swipe at him. The fly doesn't even budge and flies away.
The other two start laughing and declare him the loser
"Ah he says but that fly will never be a father"

Three guys are on a boat and they have four cigarettes, but no lighters or matches or anything to light it with. What do they do?

They throw one cigarette over board and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

A german, a french and a turkish man on a plane

The plane is about to c**... unless the passengers drop some weight. The pilot tells the three guys to drop something which they have enough of in their country.
The french man throws a baguette out of the window.
The turkish man throws a kebap out of the window.
The german throws the turkish man out of the window.

Did you hear about the girl that went fishing with the three guys?

She came back with a red snapper.

Three Guys in a Bed

Three guys had to spend the night at a hotel and share a double bed.
In the morning, the guy on the right said, "I had this great dream last night that a girl gave me a h**..."
The guy on the left replied "That's weird so did I."
Finally, the guy in the middle said "Lucky for you guys...I only dreamt I was skiing"

Three guys go on a skiing trip together.

When they get to the ski lodge there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.
In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, "Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a h**...."
The guy on the left side of the bed has also woken up, and says that he's had the same dream, too.
The guy in the middle says, "Wow that's funny, I dreamed I was skiing."

Three guys decide to go to a ski lodge...

There isn't enough rooms so they end up having to share a bed. In the middle of the night the guy on the left wakes up and says "I just had a dream and in it I was getting a h**...!" The guy on the right gets up and says "Really? I had the exact same dream." Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says "That's weird, in my dream I was skiing."

Three guys go to Heaven.

At the pearly gates, St Peter asks the first one:
"What did you do on Earth, son?"
I was a lawyer for public interest, i helped people keep their jobs"
"Come in, son!"
"And you?" to the second guy.
"I was a doctor, i helped people be healthy"
"Please come in, son"
Third guy answers: "I was a musician"
St Peter: "Oh, there's a door in the back"

Three guys go to a ski lodge but there isn't enough room so they have to share a bed...

The next morning, at breakfast, the guy who slept on the right says
_"I had a dream I got a h**... last night_"
The guy who slept on the left says
_"Wierd! I had the same dream!"_
The guy who slept in the middle says
_"I dreamt I was skiing"_

Adultery

There were three guys that died and went to heaven.
The first went up and then God said, "You have committed adultery so you shall own a bike."
The second guy comes up and God says, "You have almost committed adultery so you shall own a motorcycle."
The third guy goes up and then God says, "You have only thought about adultery so you shall get a Porsche!"
The first guy comes up to the man in the Porsche and starts Laughing and the man in the Porsche asks, "Why are you laughing? You only got a bike!"
The guy on the bike says, "I just saw your wife on a skateboard!"

Three guys on a roadtrip had to share a bed in a fleabag motel after their car broke down.

They slept side-by-side. In the morning, the guy on the left said "I had the most wonderful dream. I was getting a h**... from the most beautiful woman."
"That's weird," said the guy on the right, "I had the exact same dream."
The guy in the middle said "I had a dream that I went skiing!"

Three guys are travelling together

When they get to their hotel they find there has been a mistake and they only have one bed. They decide not to worry about it and they all go to sleep in the same bed.
The next morning the guy who slept on the right tells the other two he had a dream in which he got a h**.... The guy who slept on the left says "dude me too!" The guy who slept in the middle says "I dreamed I was skiing"

Three guys making a movie

Christopher Nolan: I'll produce
Leonardo Dicaprio: I'll act
Matthew McConaughey: I'll write I'll write I'll write

There were three guys on a boat. One of them had one last cigarette, but no lighter. He asked his friend if he had a cigarette lighter. His friend took the last cigarette and tossed it overboard.

"Hey why'd you do that?!" he yelled at his friend.
"There you go. Now the whole boat is a cigarette lighter."

Three guys are aboard a jet as it's about to c**... and there are only two parachutes...

The first guy has the parachutes and gives both of them to the others, the second guy says thank you and jumps. The third guy before jumping asks "Wow, why would you do such a thing, why not save your own life?". The first guy then looks at him and says, "What are you crazy, I gave the second guy an empty backpack".

Three guys were found trespassing in the city lake

They were put on trial and the judge called them in one by one
Judge: What were you doing in the lake after 9 pm?
Man 1: Your honor, I was blowing bubbles.
Man 1 exits, Man 2 comes in
Judge: What were you doing in the lake after 9 pm?
Man 2: Your honor, I was blowing bubbles.
Man 2 exits, Man 3 comes in
Judge: Dont tell me you were blowing bubbles too.
Man 3: No sir my name is Bubbles

ILMMIL

I told my wife I saw three guys beating up her mother.
"Did you stop to help?"
"Nah, I figured three oughta be enough."

swimming pool wishes

At a swimming pool: Three guys climb a high-dive tower and meet a good fairy who offers to fulfill a wish for each of them. One jumps and says, "Beer!" - and the pool is full of beer. The other one jumps, says, "Money!" and the pool is full of money. The last one starts to jump but slips and, falling, yells, "SHIIIIIIT!!!"

Three guys in a desert

Three guys are stranded in a desert. By a s**... of luck, they find a magic genie lamp.
The genie grants each of them one wish.
The first guy wishes to be back home. Wish granted.
The second guy wishes the same. Wish granted.
The third guy says, "It feels very lonely here now, I wish my friends were with me… Wish granted.

Three guys in a bar

Three guys sit in a bar and talk about their s**... life.
The first guy tells his friends: my wife screams so loud during s**... that the entire building can hear her.
The second guy said:my wife screams so loud during s**... that the entire neighborhood can hear her.
The third guy said: wife screams so loud during s**... that I can hear her from the bar.

Three guys are talking, the first guy says "I'm an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn."

And the second guy says, "Well, I am a p**..., so I drive a cheap e**...." And the third guy says, "I got you both beat. I'm a proctologist, so I drive a brown Probe."

Three Guys Go On a Skiing Trip...

Three guys go on a skiing trip but can only find a cabin with one bed, so they all decide to sleep together.
The next morning:
Guy on the right, I had the strangest dream last night that somebody gave me a h**....
Guy on the left, I also had the strangest dream that somebody gave me a h**....
Guy in the middle, That's crazy cause I had a dream I was skiing.

The Pope, Billy Graham, and o**... Roberts were in a three-way plane c**... over the Pacific Ocean.

They all died and went to heaven together. "Oh, this is terrible," exclaims St. Peter. "I know you guys think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those coincidences that happen. Since we weren't expecting you, your quarters just aren't ready... We can't take you in and we can't send you back..."Then he got an idea. He picked up the phone, "l**..., this is St. Peter. Hey, I got these three guys up here. They're ours, but we weren't expecting them, and we gotta fix the place up for 'em. I was hoping you could put them up for a while. It'll only be a few of days. What d'ya say?" Reluctantly, the Devil agreed. However, two days later... St. Peter got a call. "Pete, this is l**.... Hey, you gotta come get these guys. This Pope fellow is forgiving everybody, the Graham guy is saving everybody, and that Roberts has raised enough money to buy air conditioning.

Three guys go to a bar

They get really, really, really drunk.
They meet up the next day. Guy #1 says, "I got so drunk last night that I passed out right in the bar."
Guy #2 says, "That's nothing. I got so drunk last night that I went home and blew chunks."
Guy #3 says, "That's nothing. I got so drunk last night that on the way home I got pulled over by a cop and got arrested for DWI."
Guy #2 says, "That's nothing. Chunks is my dog."

A genie and an idiot

Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: 'I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here.'

Three guys were hiking took a short-cut across a farmer's field, where the found a pig stuck halfway through a fence.

"I wish that was my Nancy, my girl friend" said the guy from Florida.
" I wish that was my cousin Mary-Lou" said the guy from Georgia
"I wish it was dark out" said the guy from Alabama

Three guys are on a boat with four cigarettes, but they don't have any matches or lighters,

So they threw a cigarette down to make the boat a cigarette lighter

Ski Lodge

Three guys go to a ski lodge, unfortunately there isnt enough rooms so they have to share a bed.
In the middle of the night one of the guys wakes up and says "I just had an amazing dream that I was getting a h**...!"
The one on the opposite side responds "really? So did I!"
The guy in the middle groggily says "I was just dreaming that I was skiing."

Three Guys Are Getting Ready For Their Dates

The first guy pops a breath mint for his date so his breath smells good. Then the second guy starts chewing some gum so his breath smells good. Then the last guy starts eating onions and garlic. The others say "Don't you want to have nice smelling breath for your date?"
"Nah" he says, "The lips I'm kissing tonight already stink."

The Felony laws are rediculous...

Three guys were talking about how they ended up in an Arizona prison.
Guy 1: what are you in for?
Guy 2: selling w**... to my 23 year old cousin with anxiety.
Guy 1: I can beat that, I was playing bioshock and the radio in game played some 1950s s**.... I got a copy right strike and here I am.
Guy 3: I got you both beat. I'm in here because my a**... fall asleep in the bathtub.

Three guys enter a steakhouse

o**... orderes a sirloin. Another guy the Porterhouse. The third the New York s**....
Once the plates arrive, the three men lift their meals above their heads.
The waiter asks "What are you all doing?"
The men replied "Raising the steaks."

Three guys go on a skiing trip together and are forced to share a room with a single bed.

In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, "Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a h**...."
The guy on the left side of the bed has also woken up, and says that he's had the same dream, too.
The guy in the middle says, "Wow that's funny, I dreamed I was skiing."

Three guys were traveling on a helicopter.

Suddenly, their engine stops and the chopper falls. The first guy hangs from the leg of the chopper. The second guy hangs from the first guys leg. The third guy hangs from the second guys pants.
As they were falling they agree to sing a last song. The first guy asks to sing and the other two agreed.
"If you're happy and you know it..."

Three guys are talking about things they can't stand...

The first guy is a police officer and says "One thing i can't stand is people who speed."
The second guy is a fireman and says "One thing i can't stand is when people play with matches."
The third guy is in a wheelchair and says "One thing i can't stand is up."

Three guys were camping together

And they all had to share a tent, sleeping side by side.
They go to bed, and when they wake up, one of the guys said, I had the weirdest thing happen last night. I had my first w**... since I was a teenager.
Shocked, another one of the campers spoke up. You know what? I also had a w**... last night.
The last guy chimes in and says, you guys are lucky. In my dream, I was an Olympic skier.

I saw an autistic kid being beat up by three guys. I couldn't just stand there.

There was no way he stood a chance against all four of us.

Three guys are praying in front of the altar...

First guy: "God Please give me 5,000 $. Please just 5,000$"
Second guy: "God Please give me 10,000 $. Please just 10,000$"
Third guy: He goes to the first guy and gives him 5,000 $, then to the second guy and gives him 10,000 $. Then he looks at Jesus and tells him "God now concentrate on me. I want 1,000,000 $".

Old joke from East Germany.

Three guys work at a factory:
1st guy comes 5 minutes too late for work. Gets arrested for sabotage.
2nd guy comes 5 minutes too early for work. Gets arrested for espionage.
3rd guy comes to work on time. Gets arrested for possessing a West-Uhr. (a watch from the west)

Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?
A: She went looking for the three guys.

Three guys get trapped in an elevator overnight.

They accept their fate and decide to sleep facing up. When they wake up, the guy on the left says "I had an awesome dream I got a h**...."
The guy on the right says "I had the same dream."
The guy in the middle says "I had a dream I went skiing."

My friend seemed sad. He told me his wife cut him down to once a week

Apparently I was wrong. He didn't cheer up at all when I told him I know three guys she cut out altogether.

So, a three guys are working with imported meats

The team gets three crates. One of French steaks, but the best before was yesterday. One of English pork ribs: best before a week ago. And one of Germain snags: best before a month ago. They draw straws to work out who has to deal with which meats. The longest straw gets the steak crate, the middle gets the ribs, and geting the short straw is the wurst case scenario.

Three guys see a European man stretching across a lawn...

The First says: "That guy looks like Swede."
The Second says: "No no no, he is definitely Italian."
The Third says: "C'mon guys! He's definitely a SpanYard!"
I'll see myself out.

I think Google is drunk or something…

It keeps giving me news articles when I search for "Asian forced by three guys."

Three guys are stranded on a remote island when a native appears out of nowhere and says, "I will grant you one weapon with which to kill yourself so I can make a boat out of your skins." The first guy wishes for a p**..., shoots himself, and dies. The second guy does the same, but the third guy wishes for a fork, stabs himself everywhere, and says, "Ha! Try making a boat out of that!"

Three guys enter a bar and kill 4 people

Shortly after o**... goes on his phone, the other goes to the bathroom, the third guy sighs and says to himself: I guess they went afk

Three guys fell asleep together n**....

When they woke up the guy on the left and right said they had a dream of getting an awesome h**.... The guy in the middle said he had a dream he went skiing.

My girlfriend and I went for burgers, and she was very disappointed that there were only three guys running the whole restaurant

"The sign outside says Five Guys!"

Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night.
The first guy says, "Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks."
The second guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch."
The third guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I took a p**... home to my wife."
The first guy exclaims, "You guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"

Three guys go to h**....

One from California. One from New York. One from Louisiana. Upon arrival they are brought to a phone. The guy from California calls home and talks for an hour and the devil says That will be $150. The guy from New York calls home and talks for 3 hours and the devil says That will be $500. The guy from Louisiana calls home and talks for 5 hours and the devil says That will be $5. The other two guys asked angrily Why was his call so cheap? The devil responds, That was a local call.

One day God came down and said to three guys

One day God came down and said to three guys that the less you cheat on your wives the better the cars you'll get in heaven. So the first guy went to heaven after cheating on his wife 67 times and he got a Mercedes. The second guy went to heaven and had cheated on his wife 2 times and he got a Ferrari, then the third guy went to heaven and said that he had never cheated on his wife and he got a Bentley. Then one day the third guy was all sad and depressed and the first and second guys asked him what was wrong and the third guy said, "I saw my wife the other day" and the first guy said "yeah, so" and the third guy said " she was riding a skateboard."

jokes about three guys