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Three Blondes Jokes

132 three blondes jokes and hilarious three blondes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about three blondes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Three Blondes Short Jokes

Short three blondes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The three blondes humour may include short 3 blondes jokes also.

  1. Two blondes meet at a busy chicken market A: If I can guess how many chickens you have in that bag, can I have one?
    B: You can have both
    A: Three
  2. Heard this gem in the video game L.A. Noire. Three blondes walk into a bar.
    You'd think one of them would have saw it.
  3. Three blondes were on an escalator at the shopping mall when the power suddenly went out. The were stranded for two hours.
  4. How many times does a blonde laugh at a joke? Three times - Once when you tell it, once when you explain it, and once when she gets it.
  5. Three blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would have seen it can someone explain me like im two years old this joke?
  6. What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!
  7. How many blondes do you need to bake a chocolat cake? Three. One for the dough and two are peeling the M&Ms
  8. Three blondes walk into a bar... You would have thought one of them would have seen it coming.
  9. Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?
    A: She went looking for the three guys.
  10. What goes on top of a hill with three legs and comes down with four? A monkey that gets turned on by altitude.
    My contribution to the lawyer and blonde joke.

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Three Blondes One Liners

Which three blondes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with three blondes? I can suggest the ones about working blondes and blonde redhead and brunette.

  1. Three blonds walk into a building.. you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
  2. What does Valve have in common with a blonde? Both of them can't count to three
  3. Q: What do you call three blondes standing in a row?
    A: A wind tunnel.
  4. Why did the blonde only have three kids? She heard every fourth is born Asian
  5. Blonde Joke Why are blondes dumb and s**...?
    They all think less than equals three.
  6. Blondes are dumb w**...... They all think less than equals three.

Three Blondes Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about three blondes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blondes on the road jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make three blondes pranks.

Three blondes girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks.

The first one said, "Look, it's deer tracks." The second one said, "No, it's wolf tracks" and before the third one could answer, they got hit by a train.

Three blondes had boyfriends all named John and they kept getting confused.

They decided to name them after sodas. The first girl said, "I'll call mine 7 Up, because he's seven inches and he's always up." The next girl said, "I'll call mine Mountain Dew, because he mounts me and knows exactly what to do." The last girl goes, "I'll call mine Jack Daniels." The other girls yelled at her and said, "That's not a soda! That's a hard l**...!"

Three blondes and a brunette are hanging on the wing of an airplane in flight.

The pilot tells them that they are too heavy and one of them has to get off or they will all die. After a minute, the blondes decide that the brunette should get off. "Okay, but I want these to be my last words," the brunette replies and begins to sing, "if you're happy and you know it clap your hands..."

There were three women. a brown headed a brunette and a blonde. they were talking then they started talking about s**.... The brown headed one said i'm gonna have 3 baby's. The brunette said she was gonna have twins. And the blonde started crying and the other two women asked her what was wrong. And the blonde said she was gonna have baby dogs because she had s**... d**...!

Mr. Brown was working in his garden when on the other side of the fence, he heard his neighbor crying. Mr. Brown popped his head over the fence and asked, "What's the matter Mary? What has upset you?" The blonde neighbor replied, "My dog has died and I'm going to bury it here." Mr. Brown said, "You only have one dog, so why have you dug three holes?" She answered, "The first two were too small."

Three blondes were on a hunting trip.

Suddenly they came upon some tracks. One blonde says," They're deer tracks." The other one said, "They're bear tracks." The last one said, "They're elephant tracks!" They were still there when they got ran over by the train.

What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.

There are three blondes on an island.


A genie says they can only have one wish t get themselfs off.
The first says" I wish I was smart" so she turns into a red head and swims off the island.
The second says " I wish I was smarter than her" so she turns into a brunette and swims away.
The third one says " I wish I was smarter than both of them" so she turns into a man and walks on the bridge.

A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour.
So, when would you like to start?"
"In three months."

Two blond girls are discussing:
"Yesterday during the b**.

.. I got stuck in the elevator for three whole hours!"
"Tell me about it! I got stuck too in the escalators."

Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.


The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks.
She looked down, then got run over by the train!

There are three blonds that went to the store.


After they get done in the store one of the blondes realizes that she locked her keys in her car.
The first blond tried using a screwdriver to unlock the door.
The second blond tried using a hanger.
The third blond tried using pen.
While they are trying to unlock the door the second blond says "We better hurry up guys its about to rain and the tops down!"

Three blondes are stranded on an island.


A fairy comes along and says that she will grant each person a wish.
So the first blonde says she wants to be really smart so she digs and finds a cell phone and calls the Army.
The second blonde says that she wants to be even smarter so she finds a flair and sets it off.
The third blonde says that she wants to be even smarter than both of them, so the fairy changes her hair color to black and she says,"Let's go over the bridge."

Three blondes want to cross the Nile. A Golden Fish offers each of them a wish to come true

The first one wishes to swim fast. She gets to the middle of the river and the crocodiles eat her. The second one wishes to swim faster. When she gets to the middle the crocodiles eat her. The third blonde wishes to become a man. The Gold Fish turns her into a man and she says: -Thank God there's a bridge here.

One blondes finishes a puzzle in three months and she is so happy she tells everyone.

John asks: "Why are you so happy? Three months is a long time" She answers: " Actually it's not. On the box it says 3-5 years."

Blonde genies

A guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.
Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.
The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house.
Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet. He looks down and notices the floor is covered in $100 bills.
Next, there's a knock at the door, so he answers it.
Standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux k**... outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a sturdy limb, and hang him by the neck until he's dead.
As the k**... are walking away, they remove their hoods.
It's the two blonde genies!
One blonde genie says to the other, "I can understand the first wish--having all those beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to.
I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire.
But, why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me!"

So..the wife and I were in town shopping....

..and as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. One of them, a tall blonde, had really fantastic, long, toned and tanned legs.
I gently nudged my wife and said "I bet you wish you still had legs like that!".
She got really upset with me..in fact I could still hear her sobbing as I wheeled her up the ramp into the next store.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are lost in the wilderness...

...and they become very excited when they come across tracks. As they are following the tracks, the three of them take a guess on what animal could have possibly left them.
"Obviously, it must have been a horse," said the Blonde.
"No no no, we're in the forest, it must have been a deer," said the Brunette.
"You're both idiots. Obviously it's a dog!" said the Redhead.
They debated until the train came and hit them.

Three Blondes

Three blondes were walking in the woods when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Hey guys, look at the bear tracks." The second blonde said, "Are you s**...? Those are wolf tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong! Those are fox tracks!" They were all still arguing when the train hit them.

Only three doors

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

A trucker and a blonde.

A trucker is driving down a busy highway when he is abruptly cut off by a blonde woman in her car. Tired and grumpy from driving all day, he quickly pulls along side of the woman's car and forces her to stop on the shoulder of the highway. The trucker and the woman get out of their vehicles. The trucker takes a rock and draws a circle around the blonde.
"Don't you dare set foot outside this circle," the trucker orders.
He walks over to the blondes car and keys the side of it. When he returns, the woman is standing in her circle giggling. This angers the trucker even more. He proceeds to grab a bat out of his semi and smash the mirrors off the woman's car. When the trucker returns to the woman, she is still standing in her circle laughing. Enraged, the trucker takes a gas tank out of his semi, douses the woman's car in gas, and sets it on fire. The woman bursts into hysteria.
"I just totaled your car!! What is so funny?!" The trucker shouts.
The blonde replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

The world's leading scientists build a lie-detecting machine...

...so powerful that if you are detected to be lying, it you immediately drop dead.
They bring around three test subjects. The first one, an Irishman, is hooked to the machine. He says, "I think I don't drink" and the next moment, he's dead. Next, it's the Asian's turn. She says, "I think I'm a good driver" and what do you know! She too is killed instantly. Then the blonde walks up and confidently begins,"I think—" and drops dead.

Three blondes and a brunette walk into a bar.

The blonde girls explain to the bartender that they've never ordered a shot before, and ask what he recommends. He decides on something exciting for their time with hard liquor, and pours them each a flaming shot. He then turns to the brunette, and asks what she'd like to drink.
"I'll just have a water, thanks."
"You their driver?"
"No, I'm not even with them. I just want to be able to remember this."

So there's this magical mountain...

...where people jump off, and land in a pool of whatever they yell. There are three chicks, a brown-haired girl, and brunette, and a blonde. The brown-haired girl jumps, and yells "CANDY!", and lands in a huge pool of candy. The brunette jumps off and yells "MONEY!", and lands in a pool of money. The blonde jumps and yells "CANNONBALL!".

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island that is 10 kilometers from shore...

They all agree that there is no point waiting to die on the island, so they decide to swim for shore.
The brunette goes first, swims three kilometers and drowns.

The redhead goes next, swims five kilometers and drowns.
The blonde goes last. She swims NINE miles...
...gets tired and swims back.

Three blondes stuck on a desert island.

When they find a magic lamp, after a quick rub out pops a genie.
"I shall grant you three wishes" he states.
The first blonde wished to be on a giant cruise ship.
With a click, she was gone.
The second blonde wished she was in a casino with millions to play with.
Click! She vanished.
The third blonde looked upset.
"Whats the matter" asked the genie.
"I dont want to be alone on this island, i wish my friends were back"

Three blondes are on a hike...

When they suddenly come across some tracks. The first blonde looks at the tracks and says "I've seen tracks like these before. These are fox tracks."
The second blonde looks at them and says "No, these are definitely deer tracks."
The third blonde looks at them and says "You two are both wrong. These are bear tracks.
Then they all get hit by a train.

A man walk into a room where three blondes are finally finishing a puzzle. "It's been 5 years now! Are you finally finished?" They look very pleased with themselves and answer.

"Yep, and only half the time. The box said 10 years and up".

How can you tell if a fox is blonde?

If it's stuck in a bear trap, it's bitten off three of its legs; and it's still stuck.

Three blondes went for a walk in the country...

...when they stumble upon a line of tracks in the woods.
The first blonde looks down and says, "These are definitely deer tracks!"
The second blonde replies, "No s**..., these are bear tracks!"
The third shouts, "You're both wrong these are certainly dog tracks!"
They were still arguing 5 minutes later when the train hit them.

The brunette, the redhead, and the blonde.

One day a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were set to be executed. They lined the three woman up in front of a firing squad. First, they brought the brunette up. Ready, aim. But just before they shoot she shouts "Earthquake!" and in the commotion she escapes. Once the chaos dies down they bring up the redhead. Ready, aim."Tornado!" and she escapes. Then they bring the blonde up. By that time the blonde has caught on. Ready aim, and she shouts "Fire"!

Three blondes are walking through the woods...

They come across a pair of tracks.
The first blonde says, "I think these are bear tracks!"
"No", the second blondes goes, "these are definitely deer tracks!"
The third blonde says, "I think they're rabbit tracks!!"
Then the train hit them...
This is my favorite clean joke by far.

What's the difference between a blonde and community college?

I don't have three community colleges under my basement

Three blondes walk into a building...

Three blondes walk into a building.... You'd think that one of them might have saw [seen] it.

Three Blondes

Three blondes are hiking in the woods when they see some tracks.
1st blonde: Look guys, deer tracks!
2nd blonde: No, s**..., they're wolf tracks!
3rd blonde: You guys are both dumb, they're clearly bear tracks!
Then they got hit by a train.

Just a Blonde joke from my childhood

Three girls, a blonde, brunette, and a ginger were having a competition to see who could swim the furthest across a lake.
The red head went first, she swam 1/4th of the way across and back.
The brunette went next, she swam 1/3rd of the way across and back.
Finally, it was the blondes turn, she swam half way across and back.

Three blondes stop at a pair of tracks...

The first one says, "I think they're deer tracks."
The second exclaims, "I'm pretty sure they're moose tracks."
The third argues, "No, they're definitely elephant tracks."
They all got ran over by the train before they could figure it out.

A (Smart) Blonde Offers Collateral For A Loan...

A blonde woman walks into a Manhattan bank and says she'd like to take out a $5,000 loan since she will be vacationing to Europe. When the banker asks what she will be using as collateral, she points to her brand new Bentley. The banker is surprised, but agrees. She leaves, and he laughs; who uses such an expensive car as collateral for such a small loan? But he shrugs it off and parks the car in the banks garage. Three weeks later, the woman returns to the bank. He retrieves her car and she pays back the $5,000 plus $14.00 in interest. As she goes to leave, the man decides he has to ask. "Ma'am," he says, "why in the world would you use a $100,000 as collateral for a $5,000 loan?" She smiles and replies "where else can I park for three weeks in Manhattan for $14?"

Three pregnant women, a blonde, brunette, and red head are at their obstetrician to find out the s**... of their babies.

The brunette says, "I'm going to have a boy because I was on top."
The red head says, "Well that means I'm going to have a girl because I was on bottom."
Just then the blonde starts crying her eyes out. "What's wrong?" the other two say.
"I'm going to have puppies!"

Three blondes walking by some tracks

Three blondes girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks. The first one said, "Look, it's deer tracks." The second one said, "No, it's wolf tracks" and before the third one could answer, they got hit by a train.

Ski trip [n**...]

Three friends were on a skiing trip in Aspen. After a long day of snow and mountain activity, they returned to their cabin. In an attempt to stay warm, they decided to all three sleep on the same bed.
The next morning, the man on the right side woke up extremely happy, and woke his friends. "Guys! I had the most amazing dream! I dreamed that I got a h**... from a really cute redhead! It felt so real!"
Stunned, the man on the left side said "no way! I had the same dream! And it felt so real! Except I got a h**... from a hot brunette! Ned, let me guess. You had a similar dream about a blonde giving you a h**...?"
The man in the middle says "nah I just had a dream that I was skiing."

Did you hear about the blonde woman who has three hours of footage of raw chicken on her iPhone?

The cooking instructions said remove sleeve and film.

After a really good party

After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, You wanna hear a blonde joke?
The person replies, I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?
The man thinks for a while and replies, "Not if I have to explain it three times."

Three blondes are in an elevator

Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."
The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."

Three blondes are walking through the forest

when they come upon a set of tracks. The first says "These are obviously wolf tracks." The second says "You must be high! they're cougar tracks." The third replies "You're both r**.... They are definitely bear tracks!" They're still arguing when the train hits.

Three blondes get stuck in an elevator

They start panicking and one of the blonde screams "HELP!"...after 30 seconds the second blonde screams "HELP!". Then the third blonde screams "HELP!". Suddenly,one of the blondes speaks up "Hey,what if we scream simultaneously?". Then one of the blonde screams "Simultaneously!"

Three blondes find tracks in the forest

They look down at the tracks.
The first blonde says, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde says, "No, those are bear tracks."
The third blonde says, "You're both wrong, those are monkey tracks."
They were all arguing when the train hit them.

Three blondes are out on a hike...

when they come across some tracks. The first one quickly says "Let's get out of here, those are mountain lion tracks." The second one says "Don't be silly, those are deer tracks." The third one says "I think you're both wrong, but I'm no expert" right before they all got hit by a train

Three blondes discovers animal tracks in the road

The first blond says "these are deer tracks"
The second blond says "you're wrong, these are fox tracks"
The third blond says "you're both wrong, these are clearly wolf tracks"
Then while they're arguing over what kind of tracks they are, they all get hit by a train.

Three ladies.

Three ladies went out to the flee market. A blonde, a redhead and a brunette. They found a magic mirror that told them this "each of you has to say something about herself, if it's true I'll grant you a wish but if it's false I'll kill you ". The ladies agreed, and the redhead said "i have the cutest boyfriend" and the mirror killed her. The brunette said "i have the prettiest car " and the mirror killed her. And the blonde said "wait I'm thinking " and the mirror killed her.
Fin.

Three girls are stuck on an island

They find a lamp and a genie comes out of it. He grants them each one wish. The brunette girl wishes to go home and see her family. *p**...* shes gone. The redhead wishes also go go home to see her family. *p**...* shes gone. The genie comes to the blonde girl and sees that shes crying. He asks "why are you crying?". She responds "I wish my friends were back".

Three women went to see the OB/GYN

The Brunette came out and said, "We had s**... in the m**..., and we're going to have a boy!"
The Redhead came out and said, "We had s**... in the c**... position, and we're having a girl!"
The Blonde started sobbing as she stood to go in. Between sobs, she said, "Oh no! We're having puppies!"

BLONDE FLIGHT ATTENDANT

The flight crew all showed up on time, all except for one brand-new stewardess. They called the hotel and she answered the phone, sobbing. I can't get out of my room, she cried. What... Why not? There are only three doors in this room. One is the bathroom, one is the closet, and the other way has a sign hanging on it that says, 'Do Not Disturb'.

A blonde fox gets caught in a fox trap...

After a minute the fox realizes the only way out is to chew off it's leg. Three legs later... it's still in the fox trap.

How many times does a blonde laugh at a joke?

Three times.
Once when you tell the joke. A second time when you explain it and a third time when she understands it.
Just kidding. She won't understand it.

So three blonds were walking in th woods...

When they come across a set of tracks.
"Look at these deer tracks," said the first.
"These are clearly elk tracks," corrected the second.
"You're both wrong, these are moose tracks," replied the third.
They were all still arguing when the train hit them.

Three blonde women stumble across some tracks...

The first one spots them in a large clearing and beckons her friends over. "Look! I think I've found some deer tracks!"
The second woman snorts. "Nonsense," she exclaims, "those look like bear tracks to me."
"Well they can't be both," says the third blonde impatiently. "So what kind of tracks are they?"
And then the train hits them.

Mother has four sons joke

The older three sons are blonde with light skin. The youngest is a brunette with darker skin.
The husband is laying on his deathbed. He turns to his wife and asks "honey, I need to know... is our youngest really my son?"
The wife responds: "yes dear, of course, I swear to god with all my heart!"
Reassured, the husband then passes away peacefully. The wife huffed a breath of relief and then muttered "thank god he didn't ask about the other three"

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland...

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. When they were close to the destination they saw a sign: Disneyland Left . They stopped, started to cry and finally turned around and drove back home.

A man is waiting for a bus, when he sees a blonde across the street digging a hole...

...and another blonde immediately filling the hole back in with dirt. He watches as they move up the street doing this over and over again. The first blonde digs a hole, and the second one fills the dirt right back in. After a few minutes, he decides to ask them "excuse me, what are you ladies doing?"
"We're working" the first blonde replies.
"Just the two of you?" He inquires.
"Well" the second blonde chimes in, "there's usually three of us, but the girl that plants the trees called out sick"

Overheard at the Gynecologist Office:

A blonde, a brunette & red head are waiting to be seen at the Gynecologist office. All three are pregnant. They start talking to eachother about their babies.
Brunette: I'm going to have a boy because I was on top during s**....
Redhead: Well, I was on the bottom during s**... so I'm having a girl.
Blonde: Oh my God! I'm going to have puppies!!!

Blondes and Disneyland

Three blondes were going to Disneyland. Then they saw a sign that said Disneyland Left, so they turned around and went home.

Three blondes were...

Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"
The second blonde said, "No, s**..., anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"
The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!"
They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them.

Three blondes found some tracks...

The first blonde said, "Those are bear tracks!"
The second blonde said, "No, those are deer tracks!"
The third blonde said, "No those are dog tracks!"
And that was when the train hit them.

Three Pregnant Ladies

Three Pregnant Ladies are discussing their unborn babies.
The Brunette says "I am having a girl because I was on the bottom when my partner and I conceived"
The Redhead says "I am having a boy as I was on top with my partner"
The Blonde starts crying and the other two ask what is wrong "I am going to be having ten puppies!"

Three blondes were walking in the woods...

Three blondes were walking in the woods. They found some tracks. The first said "oh its wolf tracks!" The second said, "No, its horse tracks." And the third one said "I think its pig tracks" shortly after they were all hit by a train.

Three blondes are taking a walk through the woods

Suddenly, the blondes come across a set of tracks. They were intrigued.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think these might be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said,
"No way, these have to be deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks.
"Wait a minute.... These are—"
And then they were all hit by a train.

Three business men share a hotel room but there's only one bed

When they wake in the morning the one on the left says "I had a vivid dream I had s**... with a beautiful blond." The one on the right says "I had a vivid dream I had s**... with a beautiful brunette." The one in the middle says "I had a dream I was skiing."

Three women were stranded on an island after a shipwreck

Three women were stranded on an island after a shipwreck, a redhead, brunette and a blonde. The nearest civilization was a 40 mile swim away. The redhead swam 10 miles and drowned. The brunette swam 15 miles and drowned. The blonde swam 20 miles, became exhausted and decided she wouldn't be able to make the rest of the swim; so she swam back.

Three moms are talking and having lunch together...

One mom had black hair, the next was brunette, and the third was blonde.
The black haired mom says "You guys won't believe what I found in my daughters room yesterday. A cigarette! I've never even smoked."
The brunette mom says "You won't believe what I found in *my* daughters room yesterday. Whiskey! I've never even drank."
The blonde mom says "Well guess what I found in *my* daughters room yesterday. A c**...! I've never even had s**... before."

Three blondes are walking through the forest when they come across a set of tracks.

The first blonde says, "Hey, look at that, deer tracks!"
The second blonde chimes in and responds, "No, Becky, those are moose tracks!"
The third blonde steps in and says, "You two are both wrong, those are obviously elk tracks!"
The three blondes kept arguing about what animal left the tracks until they were eventually hit by a train.