Threatens Jokes

What are some Threatens jokes?

A woman threatens her boyfriend

A woman threatens her boyfriend :

"If you won't stop telling me that I'm fat, I'm going to leave you !"

- "Don't do this darling ! Think about our child !" says the boyfriend, trying to convince her to stay.

- "But we **don't** have any child !" eructs the woman.

- "Wait, what ? You're not 8 months pregnant ?"

On a bus one day.....

.....a man was sitting next to a woman who was trying to breast-feed her child. The child however refuses to suck on the breast.

Being frustrated, the mother threatens the child, "If you don't suck on, I will give it to the man next to us!" The child still refuses to oblige. After about 10 minutes of failed effort to get her child to breastfeed, the woman threatens her child again.

Finally the man clears his throat and says, "Look here woman, you better make up your mind. I was supposed to get off 6 stops ago!"

North Korea threatens to start nuclear war

France surrenders just in case

A White guy, a Black guy and a Mexican are out in a boat fishing

when a big storm blows up and threatens to sink them.

The men begin praying, and the storm disappears.  They look up and see Jesus walking towards them across the water.  Jesus says to the men, "Because of your faith, I will heal each of you."

Jesus turns to the White man and says, "Your arthritis is cured."  The White man rubs his hands and exclaims, "It's true, my hands don't hurt any more!"

Jesus turns to the Mexican and says, "Your vision is restored."  The Mexican blinks and says, "My cataracts, they're gone!"

Jesus turns to the Black man, who throws up his hands and says "DON'T TOUCH ME, I'M ON TOTAL DISABILITY!"

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide...

is it a hostage situation?

I'm not afraid of someone who threatens to open up a can of whoopass on me...

I'm much more afraid of the people who can the whoopass to begin with.

Hacker Group Anonymous Threatens to Release Iggy Azalea Sex Tape

How to make Threatens jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Threatens to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Threatens? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Threatens pick up lines to share with friends.

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