Thirty Jokes

Funniest Thirty Short Jokes

Short thirty jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The thirty humour may include short 30 cent jokes also.

1. I completed another lap around the Sun, but I only get half a minute to celebrate today. It's my thirty-second birthday.
2. It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a thirty five minute walk from the pub to my house.
   The difference is staggering.
3. Two deer walk out of a gay bar One turns and says to the other, "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks in there."
4. I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park. It's just really hard to find thirty two of them willing to do it .
5. One stolen joke is a coincidence. Two stolen jokes is a pattern. Thirty stolen jokes is an Amy Schumer special.
6. My girlfriend told me I'm her 32nd lover Turns out what she really meant was I'm her thirty second lover
7. And how old are you? -Well, let's say, I'm closer to my thirties than to my twenties.
   -Oh ok. 27?28?
   -No, 45.
8. My dad bought himself a new hearing aid. "It's state of the art," he boasted. "Cost me a fortune."
   "Awesome," I replied. "What kind is it?"
   "Two-thirty."
9. Jewish kid asks his father for $50 ... His father replies: "Forty dollars?! What do you need thirty dollars for?!"
10. A Jewish kid goes to his dad and says, "Dad, I need to borrow fifty bucks". The dad says, "Forty bucks? I don't have thirty bucks, what do you need twenty bucks for?"

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Thirty One Liners

Which thirty one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with thirty? I can suggest the ones about over 30 and turning 30.

1. Jesus's greatest miracle.. A dude in his thirties with 12 friends
2. 15+15 is thirty 16+16 is thirty too
3. There are thirty cows and twenty eight chickens. How many didn't? Ten of them.
4. Fifteen plus fifteen is thirty. Sixteen plus sixteen is thirty, too.
5. 15+15 is thirty, but 16+16 is... thirty too!
6. Why did the thirty Irish people drown? They were riverdancing.
7. How can you tell whether or not someone vapes? Wait thirty seconds.
8. What's the Tooth Fairy's favorite time? Two thirty
9. I was catfished once For thirty years Pluto had me convinced he was a planet...
10. I just won the local ironman competition. 41 shirts in thirty minutes!!
11. What time is Thor on in the cinema? Thor Thirty
12. What is the best time of the day? Six thirty. Hands down.
13. What kind of couch still has money even in its thirties? a pull out
14. I just want to be a thymus... Fat and useless by the time I turn thirty.
15. What's Elon Musk's favorite band? Thirty Seconds to Mars.

Being Thirty Jokes

Here is a list of funny being thirty jokes and even better being thirty puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My girlfriend is turning 32 years old...I've told her not to get her hopes up. After all..we're only going to be celebrating it for half a minute."
  
  "thirty-second birthday."
• I gave my girlfriend a birthday celebration that lasted only half a minute After all, it was her thirty second birthday.
• My brother is turning 32 tomorrow, so I told him not to get his hopes up. When he asked why, I replied:
  "Well, it'll be pretty short. It is your thirty-second birthday after all."
• I was waiting at the bus stop. A woman said, "How long will the next one be?"
  I said, "Probably about thirty feet."
• A Jewish boy asked his father to borrow fifty dollars... "Forty dollars?! What do you need thirty dollars for?!"
• What's the difference between a shooting range and an American college? About thirty thousand dollars a year.
• A Jewish son asks his father for fifty dollars.. The father responds, "forty dollars? What do you need thirty dollars for?"
• I'm turning 32 in a few months and I'm kinda depressed about it. I only get to celebrate my birthday for half a minute.... It's my thirty second birthday...
• A Jewish boy asks his father "Can I have thirty dollars?"
  His father replies "Twenty dollars? What do you need ten dollars for?"
• Two deer walked out of a gay bar One exclaims to the other
  "Man, I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!"

Two Thirty Jokes

Here is a list of funny two thirty jokes and even better two thirty puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why is three times ten same as two times sixteen? Because three times ten is thirty,
  And two times sixteen is thirty, too.
• Two deer walk into a gay bar. When walking out, one said to the other, I just blew thirty bucks.
• Two deer were leaving a gay bar... One turned to another and said, Man, I can't believe I blew thirty bucks in there!
• My dentists office is called "Two Thirty Dental" Because you go there when your tooth hurty.
• How many bacteria does it take to change a light bulb? One.
  No, two. Actually, four.
  No! Eight. No, sixteen. Oh God. Thirty-two. Nope, Sixty-four. No...
• What's the most common time to see the dentist? Two Thirty.
• Don't you hate it when... you spend thirty minutes searching for a video, only to close it two minutes later.
• Q: How many movie directors does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone thinks that his last lightbulb was much better.
• when is the best time to visit a dentist? two-thirty
• How do you know when it's time to go to the dentist? When it's two thirty

Thirty Seconds Jokes

Here is a list of funny thirty seconds jokes and even better thirty seconds puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's an occasion they you only celebrate for half a minute? Your thirty-second birthday.
• Today I'm only celebrating my birthday for half a minute! I guess you could say it's my thirty-second birthday.
• My girlfriend nicknamed me the "Microwave Meal" Thirty seconds on full power and I'm finished.
• My wife's is going to turn 32 soon... I told her not to get too excited for the celebrations... After all, it's going to be a thirty-second birthday.
• I told my son his birthday was only half a minute this year He asked what the heck am I talking about. I said, well it's his thirty second birthday...
• The World Trade Center had a Speed-Reading club they went thru fifty stories in thirty seconds
• Which 2 Birthdays go by the quickest? the twenty second ones and the thirty second ones
• I like my hot tubs like I like my women... So hot I can only stay in them for thirty seconds.
• s**... with me is like c**... It's okay for the first thirty seconds, but then you start wondering why you put this in your body.
• I don't have s**... any longer. ...than thirty seconds.

Turning Thirty Jokes

Here is a list of funny turning thirty jokes and even better turning thirty puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I saw my local theatre advertising a night of x**... Roman plays... I thought "ooo, sounds s**...," so I went along, but was disappointed.
  It turned out to just be thirty plays.

Thirty Birthday Jokes

Here is a list of funny thirty birthday jokes and even better thirty birthday puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• At my recent birthday party someone asked me when I planned to retire. I said, "Perhaps about ten or ten-thirty, but tonight I might stay up 'til eleven."

Hilarious Fun Thirty Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about thirty you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean forty jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make thirty pranks.