The Best 30 Thirst Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Thirst jokes. There are some thirst insatiable jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these thirst pours puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Thirst Jokes and Puns

A very thirsty man was wandering the desert ...

... when suddenly he spotted a well. With the last of his strength, he neared himself, and started pulling the bucket upwards.
*Water! Water!* he shouted in anticipation

When suddenly, from the bottom of the well, a voice exclaimed

*Where?! Where?!*

What did the thirsty weatherman say to his intern?

I need my thermos, stat!

What did the thirsty Spanish pirate say?

I need some arrrrrrrrrrrgua!

Thirst joke, What did the thirsty Spanish pirate say?

A man is very thirsty...

A man is very thirsty. As he is stumbling down the country road he sees a cow grazing in front of a cottage. "I'm saved!", he says to himself as he milks the cow and quenches his thirst.

The man knocks on the door to pay for the milk. "Your cow's milk saved me," he says. The home owner replies, "Cow? I don't own a cow, I just have a bull."

A thirsty sailor runs from his boat to the nearest bar and shouts to the bartender, "Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!"

The bartender pours out the shots, and the sailor drinks them as fast as he can.
The bartender is very impressed and exclaims, "Wow. I never saw anybody drink that fast."
The sailor replies, "Well, you'd drink that fast too, if you had what I have."
The bartender says, "Oh? What do you have?"

"Fifty cents!"

A thirsty vampire is walking along in a deserted town...

when he sees another vampire with blood all over his mouth and yells:
"Hey! where did you get that blood?!!"
The other vampire replies:
"See that traffic light over there?"
"Yes I do!" he exclaims anxiously
"Well, I didn't" says the other vampire

I'm going to attempt to dehydrate myself for the depravity contest.

I hope I win thirst prize.

Thirst joke, I'm going to attempt to dehydrate myself for the depravity contest.

Are you thirsty?

"Would you like something to drink?" She opened the fridge.

"We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper --"


"Spiders it is, then."

"No, that wasn't--"

But she was already pouring him a brimming glass of spiders.

A thirsty man from Michigan went to California to find something to drink

Because no water is better than Michigan water.

I got thirsty on the ride to the carnival

But the punch line was impossible to find.

If you eat too many salted pretzels on Halloween, what happens the next day?

November thirst.

You can explore thirst ghoul reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean thirst famine dad jokes. There are also thirst puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What tends to satisfy thirst the most?


What do you call a mirage with a lot of Instagram followers?

A thirst trap

An advertiser for coke is dispatched to Israel

When he comes back, his friend asks him how it went. He replies that it did not go well.

"What happened?" his friend asked.

"Well, since I didn't know hebrew, I decided to convey the ad through a comic. The first panel showed a guy in a desert, dying of thirst. The secone panel showed him drinking coke. And the third panel showed him completely rejuvenated."

"That sounds great! Why didn't it work?"

"Nobody told me they read right to left!"

Yo mamma' so poor...

I saw her kicking a thirst buster cup down the street the other day and asked her what she was doing. She told me she was moving.

I was thirsty one day and someone said, "Drink Canada Dry."

Man they got alot of water up there..

Thirst joke, I was thirsty one day and someone said, "Drink Canada Dry."

I was at McDonalds earlier today, just chilling when a really hot, girl walked up to me.

She grabbed me and took me to her car. She ripped my clothes off and starts sucking me as if she's dying of thirst. She sucked long and slobbery and I let out a huge load. She looked up with the face of satisfaction.

Then I realised I'm a straw.

Earlier today I really needed a drink to quench my thirst and apple juice wasn't really doing it for me

but OJ did it

a thirsty boy and his Dad

A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later.....'Da-ad....'
'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....'
'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'
' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'
Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'
'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'


An evil genie captured a blonde and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing.

The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst.

The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off.

The blonde brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window!

I heard about this little village in Africa where everybody is dying of thirst...

So I sent them a "Get Well Soon" card.

When I was Thirsty, I was forced to drink my own Urine

Now I'm hungry...

Two guys are wandering through the desert and they are about to die from thirst, when suddenly...

...they die from hunger.

In my experiance black people have been really nice to me.

When a bunch of black guys were raping me i said i was thirsty, and they promptly satiated my thirst. What a bunch of gentlemen.

It's the thirst thirstiest time of the year!!!

Wanna sprite cranberry? Uh Huh!

A man walking in a desert was about to starve to death, when he suddenly...

Died of thirst.

I went thirsty at the comedy club.

The punch lines were terrible!

What's the difference between onlyfans and onlyflans?

Onlyflans is for hunger, but onlyfans is for thirst.

Why didn't the Capitol-storming Trump supporters bring anything to quench their thirst?

Because before they got there they had already drank the 'Q'-laid.

Bird Joke

A bottle of water can't quench the thirst of a bird but Tou-can

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the thirst behead jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working thirst marketplace piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes