Third Grade Jokes
40 third grade jokes and hilarious third grade puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about third grade that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Third Grade Short Jokes
Short third grade jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The third grade humour may include short 3rd grade jokes also.
- You know, Dwayne Johnson was always a special kid... In third grade, all the other kids drew a family tree. Little dwayne made a family quarry.
- Sitting Indian Style When I was in third grade the teacher told us to sit Indian Style. So I drank a 30 case of beer and laid in a gutter.
- TIFU by approaching a woman I thought I had as a teacher for one day in third grade, but it wasn't her Oh, my bad, wrong sub
- What do you get when you cross a Sith Lord, and a Donkey? Darth Mule!
A joke, from third grade me...
Happy Star Wars day! - My uncle is mad that he lost his job to an i**... immigrant It took him forever to find a job that neither requires a third grade education nor a background check.
Share These Third Grade Jokes With Friends
Third Grade One Liners
Which third grade one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with third grade? I can suggest the ones about first grade and second grade.
- I wet my pants in the third grade once... And it cost me my teaching career.
- What is long and hard on a black man? Third grade.
- What is long and hard for a black guy? Third grade
- What are the worst six years in a blonde's life? Third Grade!
- Believe it or not, I dated a squirrel in third grade. She drove me nuts, though.
- What's long and hard for a black person? The third grade.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Third Grade Jokes
What funny jokes about third grade you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean 2nd grade jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make third grade pranks.
My buddy just came to me all depressed and said My son flunked the third grade, and I just don't know how to break it to him.
So I said well…probably better tell him pretty slowly, so the little d**... will get it."
A guy named Bob dies and goes to h**...
Before him stands the Devil.
"Hello, Bob. Welcome to h**..." the Devil says. "Now there are seven levels of h**... and since your only sin was cheating on a science test in third grade, you'll be moved to level 1"
"Okay, that doesn't sound so bad" Says Bob
"Level 1 is the hottest level because heat rises. You would know that if you studied for your science test, Bob"
Health Class
Three boys received their grades from their s**... education instructor. One got a D+, the second a D- and the third an F.
"One day we should get her for this," said the first boy.
"I agree. But what should we do?" said the second.
"I've got it!" said the third. "We can kick her in the nuts!"
A 2nd grade class just gets in from recess...
The teacher tells the class they're going to do a spelling assignment that relates to what they did for recess. "If you can come up to the board and write the word I give you, you'll get a gold star for the day," the teacher explains. "Tommy, what'd you do for recess?" she asks the first student. "Well," Tommy begins, "I played in the sand box with Suzy!" "Okay great. If you can come to the board and spell the word 'sand' I'll give you a gold star." So Tommy goes up to the board, spells 'sand' and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks Suzy, "Suzy, what'd you do for recess today?" So Suzy answers, "like Tommy said, we played in the sand box together." "Okay," the teacher thinks, "if you can come up to the board and spell 'box' I'll give you a gold star. So Suzy spells 'box' and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks the third student, "Tyrone, what'd you do for recess today?" "Well I wanted to play in the sand box with Tommy and Suzy but they wouldn't let me," Tyrone answers. "Oh no!" says the teacher, "That's terrible! Do you know what that's called? That's called 'racial discrimination.' If you can come up to the board and spell 'racial discrimination' I'll give you a gold star."
A woman staying in a hotel was taking a shower after a long days work when she heard a knock on her door.
She went to the door, looked through the door-hole and saw it was her friend Steve. She wrapped a towel around her and opened the door.
"I finally got my racing licence!" exclaimed Steve.
"Good for you." the woman said, and closed the door, left the towel by the door and got back in the shower. A second knock came, and she saw it was John, another friend of hers. Again she wrapped the towel around her and opened the door.
"I won the lottery!" John said, and the woman congratulated him and went back to her shower. for the third time, a knock on the door came. she looked through the peephole and saw it was Tom, her blind friend. she didn't bother putting on a towel.
"What is it Tom?! This is the third time I have been interrupted while showering!"
Tom gleefully replied:
"I can see!"
s**... education
Three boys received their grades from their female s**... education instructor. One got a D+, the second a D- and the third an F.
One day we should get her for this, said the first boy.
I agree. We'll grab her... said the second.
Yeah, said the third. And then we'll kick her in the nuts!
s**... Ed
Three boys received their grades from their female s**... education instructor.
One got a D, the second a D-, and the third an F.
"One day we should get her for this," said the first boy. "
We'll grab her he continued. And we'll tie her up! said the second.
"Yeah," said the third. "And then we'll kick her in the nuts!"
Three Boys
Three boys were taking a s**... ed class. They received grades of D, D-, and F, respectively, so they plotted to get revenge.
"We should get her," said the first.
"Yeah," said the second, "let's grab her."
"Yeah," chimed in the third, "And let's kick her in the nuts."
A third-grade science teacher asks her students, "If you could have one substance in the world, what would it be?"
"I would have gold," says Harold. "Why?" asks the teacher. "Well," says Harold, "I could sell the gold and buy a fancy car."
"I would have platinum," says Susie. "Why?" asks the teacher. "Well," says Susie, "I could sell the platinum and buy two fancy cars."
"I would have hair," says Johnny. "Why?" asks the teacher. "Well," says Johnny, "my mom has a tiny s**... of hair between her legs, and you should see all the fancy cars outside our house!!!"
Popsicle
Me and Willard in the third grade got us a popsicle just as lunch was ending, We didn't have time to eat em so we just stuck em in our pocket. Later in class the history teacher ask Willard. If you're from America you are an American, what are you if you are from Europe? Willard looked confused and he didn't know the answer. To help, I whispered Willard, European, European! He looked at me and said I ain't done it, it's that d**... ole popsicle,
Mrs. Jones was giving a spelling test to her third grade class...
How do you spell the word 'straight'? asked Mrs. Jones.
Little Johnny shouts, S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T!!
Excellent job Johnny! And what does that word mean?
Without ice.
My buddy Brian had a kid a few years ago. He comes to me this summer and he goes...
"Man, my son just flunked the third grade. I don't know how to tell him he will be held back a year."
I was like, "I guess you better tell him slowly so that he will get it."
A blonde walking down the street sees a young boy smoking."You shouldn't be smoking.What grade are you in ?"asks the blonde.
The child says:"I'm in third grade,weren't you smoking when you were in third grade?" The blonde answers:" Yes, I was, but I was eighteen years old!"
The Grade 2 pupils returned to class after the long weekend. Their teacher told them to tell their classmates about the most exciting thing they did during the weekend, but to use adult words in telling their stories.
First Pupil: "I visited my Nana." Teacher: "Please use adult words, you visited your Grandmother."
Second Pupil: I had a ride on a choo-choo." Teacher: "Please, you had a ride on a train."
Third Pupil: I read a whole book by myself for the first time." Teacher: "Excellent. And what was the name of the book?" Third Pupil, with a big grin: "Winnie The s**...!"
The other day I failed my grade 10 English exam for the third year in a row
My friend called it quite a feat.
I smugly corrected him and said, "the singular is actually 'a foot.'"
How did that d**... even pass??
A man dies and goes to h**....
As he approaches the gates he is stopped by the gatekeeper who asks for his name. "Joe." he replies. "Well, joe, I've found your name on the list. There are seven levels in h**..., but since your only sin was cheating on a science test in the third grade, you will only be in the first level." "Oh, it won't be that bad then.", joe replies. "Joe, that's the hottest level because heat rises. You'd know that if you studied for your test."
Third grade teacher to her class: "Who can use the word 'beautiful' twice in the same sentence?"
Suzy raises her hand and says: "The girl has a beautiful new dress and she looks beautiful in it."
Teacher: "Very good Suzy. Okay, Billy."
Billy: "When my sister told our father that she was pregnant, he said "Beautiful, just beautiful."
A first grade teacher was giving a cookie to each student who spelt a word right
"Well little John" she said. "Can you spell Pig?"
"P-I-G" John said. "Very well. Here's your cookie!" the teacher said. She then went to the next student.
"Hi little Susan" she said. "Can you spell Cow?"
"C-O-W" Susan said. "Very well. Here's your cookie!" the teacher said. She then turned to the third student.
"Hello little Jim" she said. "How do you spell Crab?"
"C-R-A-B" John said. "Very well. Here's your cookie!" the teacher said. She then turned to the next student.
"Good day Ahmed. Can you tell me how to spell Racial Discrimination?"
Obvious, innit?
A guy was very self-conscious, because he'd been born without ears. Despite this, he'd become general manager at his company.
He was still self conscious though, so when interviewing people, he'd ask if they noticed anything about him, anything they could mention about him, and if people remarked on his lack of ears, they didn't make the grade.
His first couple of candidates had been rejected, and he was pleasantly surprised when the third candidate said he'd noticed he wears contact lenses.
"What made you realise?" he asked. "Easy," came the reply, "people with no ears don't wear glasses."
At a winery, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. The director of the winery wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink.
The drunk tried it and said, It's a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acceptable.
"That's correct", said the boss.
Another glass...
This is a Cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results.
"Correct."
A third glass...
"It's a Pinot Blanc Champagne, high grade and exclusive,'' the drunk said calmly.
The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something.
She left the room, and came back in with a glass of u**....
The alcoholic tried it. "It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and if I don't get the job I'll name the father."
A third grade teacher addresses her class
..."alright class" she says, "before I let you go for spring break I want to remind you that I'm getting married this weekend and I'm no longer going to be Ms. Stevens I'm going to be Mrs. Prussy"
She writes M R S. P R U S S Y in big cursive letters on the blackboard and says "whomever remembers my new name when we come back from break gets a gold star for the day"
The ten days comes and goes and she's standing in front of her class early Monday morning and says"good morning class, I hope you all remembered that I got married over the break and my name isn't Ms. Stevens any more it's Mrs" And she writes M R S on the blackboard, turns around to a sea of blank faces.
Then one hand shoots up in the back
"oh! oh! Mrs. Crunt"
Tell your favorite f**... joke growing up. More terrible the better.
Three men jumped out of an airplane. The first one jumped and dropped a penny. When he landed, he found a boy crying, and asked him why he was crying. He of course said, a penny fell on his head.
A second man jumped and dropped an apple. He found another kid crying, and he asked why. The boy said an apple hit him in the head.
The third man jumped and dropped a grenade. He found a boy laughing his eyes out when he landed. He asked the boy what was so funny and he said, "When I f**..., my house blew up."
Third grade forever
A 2nd grade teacher tells the class to say a sentence using the words "Liver" and "Cheese" in the same sentence....
...So the teacher picks a white kid to go first, he says: "My mom made me a Liver and Cheese sandwich, it was really good!".
Then the teacher picks a black kid to go second, he says: "My mom bought the wrong kind of Cheese, so my dad punched her in the Liver!".
Finally, the teacher picks a mexican kid to go third,he says, "2 boys were trying to look up my sister's skirt and i said 'ey putos, Liver alone, Cheese my sister!!!"
