Third Base Jokes
34 third base jokes and hilarious third base puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about third base that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Third Base Short Jokes
Short third base jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The third base humour may include short first base jokes also.
- So tim tebow just hit a home run in his first professional at bat But he had no idea what to do once he got to third base.
- In baseball, why does it take longer to get from second to third than any other bases? Because there's a short stop in between.
- I found a girl by the train tracks and got head. I would've gone to third base but I couldn't find the rest of her.
- The runner on 2nd base politely asked the pitcher if he could just walk over to third. The pitcher balked at the idea.
- Why did little Johnny hate baseball? Every time he reaches third base, his teammates tell him to go home.
- As third base coach, Oakland A's coach Ron Washington may be the only black man in America who knows how to put his hands up.
- Wanna get to third base within minutes of meeting? Wish a customs officer happy holidays today.
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Third Base One Liners
Which third base one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with third base? I can suggest the ones about baseball and baseball hitting.
- Which Halloween costume has the hardest time getting to third base? The Headless horseman
- Why was the baseball player a bad sport? He stole third base and then went home!
- You're wrong! I touched second base. I missed third… but I touched second.
- Why was the nice guy terrible at baseball? He never got to third base.
- Why was the music teacher fired? She struck a third base with a student.
- Why don't people flirt at funerals? Because the mortician already hit third base
- I was playing baseball with my wife... And I made it to third base.
- The only chance of me reaching the third base ever... ...is while playing baseball
- I fingered an alien last night It was a close encounter of the third-base kind.
- In my day a hand on my c**... was third base... now even a h**... is a foul ball!
Third Base Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about third base you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean home run jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make third base pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't they allow l**... to play baseball?
When they get to third base they think they've scored
How Canada Was Named
So the dignitaries of the associated Provinces of what we now call "Canada" got together over a game of Scrabble to determine the name of the country. They decided they would pick the name based on the first three letters they grabbed. First one: "C, eh?" Second one, "n, eh?" Third one, "d, eh?"
A guy is making out with a girl and things are going well...
When he thinks, "hey things are going my way quickly, so screw second base, I'm going for third."
He tries, but the girl backs off, and she says "wow, that's a little presumptuous don't you think?"
The man replies "Presumptuous? That's a pretty big word for an 8-year-old..."
a joke from the war
a man is flying a combat mission over Europe. He gets shot down and has to bail out. He breaks both his legs, is captured by Germans, then taken to a POW camp.
The first week they have to amputate his right leg. He asks one of them "After you're done, can you have one of your pilots fly my leg over my base in England and drop it there?", so they do it.
The next week they have to cut off his other leg. And he asks them again "Could you please have someone drop this off over my base in England?", and they do it!
The third week, the have to cut off his arm, so he asks them again. This time, the german says "Nein! Dis ve can't do anymore!" And he asks "Why not?". And the german says "Ve think yoo are trying to escape!"
Little Johnny is in math class
And the teacher asks, "If five birds are in a tree and you shoot two, how many are left?"
Ecstatic, Johnny replies, "None, the rest fly away!"
The teacher replies, "No, there are 3. But I like your thinking."
So johnny asks, "There are three women each with an ice cream cone. Thr first just licks the tip, the second licks around the base, and the third licks all over and really gets into it. Which one is married?"
"Why, the third of course."
"No, the one with the ring on her finger, but I like your thinking."
This one I heard when I was in 8th grade. it's pretty darn funny.
Three men die in a car accident and go to heaven.
They walk up to Satin Peter. Peter looks at them and says "Now,Let me explain how things around here in heaven work;
You all will have a car based on how many times you cheated on your wife."
He looks to the first man "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replies,"None sir,I was faithful til the end." "Okay,You get this car." Saint Peter gives him a brand new golden ferrari.
Peter says to the second man "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The man replies "About five times."
Saint Peter says "Okay here's your car." He gives the second man a fairly new Lexus.
Finally,Saint Peter asks the third man; "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" He replies "About 10 times."
Saint peter says "okay,Here is your car." The man gets an old beat up car that barely runs.
So after that,The men go driving around heaven. They stop at a gas station to fill up. The second and third man go to the urinals while the first man pumps gas.
The second man comes out and sees the first man crying. he walks up to him and says "What's wrong?" The first man explains "I just saw my wife hitch hiking."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It is a normal drill day at the Marine base in Virginia.
The whole regiment is lined up in formation, and the colonel is walking around inspecting people.
There are rows of marines stacked behind one another waiting to be inspected.
The colonel gets to the first squad leader, stands in front of him and punches him in the stomach the hardest he can.
After about a minute, the squad leader catches his breath.
The colonel bellows, "DID THAT HURT SOLDIER?"
Then the soldier says "NO, SIR."
The colonel shouts, "WHY NOT?"
Then the soldier says, "BECAUSE I AM A MARINE!"
The colonel gets up to the second squad leader, stands in front of him, and kicks him in the kneecap.
After about a minute when the soldier is finally standing, the colonel hollers,
"DID THAT HURT?"
The soldier responds, "NO, SIR."
And the colonel says "WHY NOT?"
Then the soldier shouts, "BECAUSE I AM A MARINE!"
The colonel gets up to the third squad leader.
He notices that there is an e**... between his legs.
The colonel takes a stick from the floor, and whacks the e**... with it.
The man barely makes a sound.
The colonel asks him "DID THAT HURT?"
And the soldier says "NO, SIR."
Then the colonel shouts, "WHY NOT?"
Then the soldier points at the man standing behind him and says, "BECASUE IT WAS HIS."