The Best 49 Thigh Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Thigh jokes. There are some thigh arm jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these thigh ear puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Thigh Jokes and Puns
So I dragged off this girl from the bar the other night...
She had this cool tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. Damnedest thing, though! When I put my ear to it, I could smell the ocean.
Tatoos of Elvis
A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a picture of Elvis be tattooed high up on her left thigh.
The tattoo guy complies, but when he's done, the woman looks at the result and says "That doesn't look like Elvis at all!"
The guy says, "I can't do anything to remove it, but I could try again on the other thigh".
The woman agrees, but when all is done, she thinks that the new tattoo looks nothing like Elvis, either and refuses to pay.
The tattoo artist makes a proposal, "Ma'am, I'll ask a customer in the waiting room to come in and have a look at the tattoos. If he can identify Elvis, you pay me. Otherwise, you owe me nothing."
The woman agrees. A customer is called in and the woman, dropping her pants and spreading her legs, says "Do you recognize these famous musicians?"
The guy looks, thinks for a minute, then says "I don't know about the twins, but the one in the middle with the beard and bad breath is definitely Willie Nelson."
A woman walks into a tattoo parlor.
Asking the man in charge to put a picture of a turkey saying "Happy Thanksgiving!" on one thigh and a picture of Santa saying "Merry Christmas!" on the other. The man looked confused by her odd request, so he asked her why. She calmly looked at him and replied without even a stutter. "My husband always complains that there's nothing good to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving."
A Gynecologist walks into an exam room
Gynecologist walks into an exam room. The woman on the exam table shows the doctor two strange green dots, one on each inner thigh. Puzzled at first, the doctor examines them more closely. He then asks the woman "Would you happen to be a lesbian?" The woman answers "Why, yes, but I don't see what that has to do with these dots!" The doctor replied.. "Tell your girlfriend to get some REAL gold earrings!"
My girlfriend got a tattoo of a seashell on the inside of her thigh.
If I put my ear on it I can smell the sea.
So my girlfriend got a new tattoo......
Of a seashell located on her inner thigh, and the best part is if you place your ear next to it you can smell the ocean.
M'lady, What is the most beautiful thing in the world?
Is it your right thigh, or your left? Or does the answer lie somewhere in the middle?
A seashell tattoo
A blonde is showing off her tattoo, a seashell, on the inside of her thigh. When a friend asks why she had the tattoo placed there, she answers: "When you put your ear against it, you can smell the sea!"
After experiencing weeks of pain, a man finally decides to go to the hospital...
The doctor says, "What seems to be the problem?"
The man replies, "It hurts here (touches his thigh), it hurts here (touches his wrist), it hurts here (touches his hip). It hurts everywhere!"
After a few seconds of examining the patient, the doctor realizes whats wrong with the man.
The doctor grabs his hand and says, "Sir, you have a broken finger."
My ex-girlfriend has a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh.
and if you hold your ear against it, you can smell the sea.
A lady goes to a tattoo parlor and gets a tattoo of a turkey on her left thigh.
A week later she gets a tattoo of Santa Claus on her right thigh. The artist asked what's the significance. she replies turkey is for Thanksgiving, Santa is for Christmas. My husband complains there is nothing to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, now he can't complain
You can explore thigh buttock reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean thigh aural dad jokes. There are also thigh puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A blond chick gets a new tattoo...
So later at the bar with her friends she hikes up her skirt to show off a conch shell tattooed high on her inner thigh, near her snootch.
One of her friends asks, "Why did you get it so on your thigh?"
"So that when you put your ear against it, you can smell the ocean."
What hangs at a man's thigh and is meant to be stuck into a hole all the time?
A key.
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This joke was found to have been made in *tenth century England.*
A girl I knew had an amazing tattoo of a seashell on her thigh...
When you put your ear next to it you could smell the ocean.
Oldest known British Joke from 10th century AD.
What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?
A key
Did you hear the one about the girl with a seashell tattoo on her inner thigh?
If you put your ear up next to it, you can smell the ocean.
My girlfriend got a tattoo of a shell on her thigh
Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the sea.
When an eel bites your thigh...
...as you're just swimming by that's a moray.
My wife has a shell tattood on her upper thigh..
And if you lay your ear on top of it, you can smell the sea.
My wife has a tattoo of a shell on the inside of her thigh...
It's a really weird thing, when you lay your ear on it you smell the sea.
- I hope it came off right, thats an old joke they tell in my country
My girlfriend got a tattoo of a conch shell on her inner thigh...
Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the ocean.
If I lie there long enough, I get crabs on my forehead.
What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole it has often poked before?
**A key**.
--
*Not OC. Rumored to be first joke recorded in 10th century A.D.*
What did the cannibal say as he took his spouse's thigh out of the refrigerator?
Today is the first day of the rest of my wife.
A blonde gets a tattoo...
...On her inner thigh of a conch shell.
Friend: Why did you get a conch shell tattoo on your inner thigh?
Blonde: So that when you put your ear against it you can smell the ocean.
My wife recently got a seashell tattooed on her thigh.
When you put your ear close to it, you can really smell the ocean.
A chemist, physicist, and engineer found a human thigh bone.
All three of them were cannibals.
The chemist licked it, and tried to put it into water to dissolve it.
The physicist tried to break it open to get at the marrow.
The engineer took the bone, hit the other two over the head, and ate them.
My girlfriend has a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh.
When you put your ear on it, you can smell the ocean.
A friend of mine got a seashell tattoo on her thigh...
If you put your ear up to it, you can smell the ocean
When an eel bites your thigh at the beach (at low tide)
That's a moray
The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons
What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?
Answer: A key.
What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?
A key!
This is one of the oldest jokes ever recorded. It was found in a 10th century book of Anglo Saxon poetry.
My wife has a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh.
When I place my ear on it, I can smell the ocean.
I once met a girl with a tattoo of a conch on her inner thigh
When I put my ear to it I could smell the sea
A soccer mom walked into a tattoo parlor and asked for a Christmas tree on her left thigh and a turkey on the right thigh.
When they were done the artist asked why she wanted these tattoos.
She replied, "My husband always complains that there's nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."
A man was driving across country, when suddenly he saw a hitchhiker.
He picked her up and while they were driving the two of them got talking.
"What do you do?", asked the man.
"I'm a witch", said the hitchhiker.
"One of those, spells, potions and turn people into frogs kind of witches?"
"That's the one".
"Oh yeah? Can you show me?"
She started stroking his inner thigh.
Just like that, the man turned into a hotel.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said You know you wanna . Jill said yes, pulled up her dress and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.
Use contraceptives kids.
I met this girl with a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh
She told that if I put my ear to it, I can smell the ocean.
What did the blonde's left thigh say to the right?
"Hi, I don't think we've met"
A blonde goes to a doctor
She says Doctor, my body hurts wherever I touch it! The Doctor says show me . The blonde proceeds to tap her face, elbow, thigh and knee, wincing in pain after each one. See, it's true! She says. The doctor pauses for a second, sighs and says
You have a broken finger
I was trying to pull a girl in a bar, so I asked her 'What part of my body is as long as your thigh, contains over 120 muscles, and is an anagram of "pensi"?'
It was as she pulled my pants down in the bedroom five minutes later that I revealed the answer was my spine.
My wife got a new tattoo on her inner thigh.
It's a seashell. When you put your ear on it, you can smell the ocean.
What hangs at a mans thigh and likes to poke holes?
A key
What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?
A key.
I met this girl with a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh
Cool thing about it is, if you put your ear up to it, you can really smell the ocean
What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to slide in and out of a hole its slide into before?
A key
A lady walked into a tattoo parlor and said, "Can you do a tattoo of a turkey on my right inner thigh and one of a Christmas tree on my left inner thigh?"
"Sure,* the tattoo artist said. "But if you
don't mind me asking, why did you choose
those two designs?"
The lady smiled. "My husband' she explained. "He says there's never anything to eat
between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"
A guy picked up an amazing red-head.
She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Things were getting hot and heavy and he whispered in her ear, "So, does the carpet match the drapes?"
She whispered back, "It's laminate, see for yourself."
So in anticipation he slid his hand up her thigh and past her skirt. Sure enough she had wood.
I met a girl with a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh.
If you held your ear to it, you could smell the ocean.
A Washington hooker gets a tattoo of Mike Pence on one inner thigh and one of Bill Barr on the other ...
Then when she gets a customer, she says, "If you can name both of them, I'll give you one for free."
Customer replies, "Hmm, I don't know about those two, but the one in the middle is Mitch McConnell."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the thigh breast jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working thigh gluteus piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.