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Thesaurus Jokes

101 thesaurus jokes and hilarious thesaurus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about thesaurus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Thesaurus Short Jokes

Short thesaurus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The thesaurus humour may include short synonym jokes also.

  1. I just bought a thesaurus and when I got it home, all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
  2. My girlfriend accused me of stealing her thesaurus Not only was I shocked, I was also aghast, appalled and dismayed.
  3. I received a thesaurus in the mail today, but when I opened it all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
  4. My Dad got me a thesaurus for Christmas last year But when I opened it every single page was blank.
    I didn't have the words to describe how angry I was.
  5. The first rule of thesaurus club is... You do not talk, speak, communicate, orate, or converse about thesaurus club
  6. I've been reading the thesaurus a lot lately... because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
  7. I used to be poor. Then I found a thesaurus now I am impecunious.
  8. I see your thesaurus joke and raise you mine. Did you here about the truck full of thesauruses that crashed? Onlookers were shocked, astounded, agape, flabbergasted, and taken aback.
  9. I lost my thesaurus when I was little... I couldn't find the words to describe how I felt.
  10. For lack of a better word... Buy a thesaurus

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Thesaurus One Liners

Which thesaurus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with thesaurus? I can suggest the ones about vocabulary and english dictionary.

  1. What does a Thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll.
  2. My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that, but it's also terrible.
  3. My buddy gave me a terrible thesaurus. It was terrible.
  4. I bought a cheap thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
  5. I asked my horse if he stole my thesaurus. He said nope.
  6. So I got a thesaurus for Christmas... but it is nothing to write house about.
  7. A thief broke into my house and stole my prized thesaurus. I am at a loss for words.
  8. What's another word for dinosaur? thesaurus
  9. Some one has stolen my thesaurus. I can't find the words to describe how angry i am.
  10. I own the worlds worst thesaurus Not only is it awful, but it's also awful.
  11. Which dinosaur named all the others? The Thesaurus
  12. I just lost my thesaurus. Not only am I mad, but I'm also mad.
  13. What do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words? - A Thesaurus.
  14. I once lost my thesaurus... and I couldn't find the words to describe how upset I was.
  15. Writing my own thesaurus. Not only was it terrible, it was also terrible.
Thesaurus joke, Writing my own thesaurus.

Comical Thesaurus Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about thesaurus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dictionary jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make thesaurus pranks.

A woman stopped by our customer-service desk and asked me for a copy of the book that has Jesus in it.
After much back-and-forth, I determined that she wanted the Bible.
After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science section without luck, a customer looked to me for help.
She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it: Thesaurus.

I applied for a job today and they ask for three references. I wrote, "a dictionary, a Thesaurus, and a map."

I just bought a new Thesaurus...

it's quite good, but to be honest it's nothing to write residence about

TIL Thesaurus is not a dinosaur

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I hate being used as a thesaurus.

A mate just asked another term for "monkey dung" and I went a**....

My thesaurus is great.

It's even good.

My dictionary got into an argument with my thesaurus.

They had words.

I asked my brother why he was taking a dictionary and thesaurus to his theater rehearsal.

He said it was a play on words.

I got a new thesaurus

Its pretty bad, though. Not only that, it's also bad.

*dinosaur at zoo roars at me*

"ROAR"
whoa wat kimd of dinosaur is this
"GROWL"
hmm
"SHOUT"
hmmm
"YELL"
hmmmmm
"HOLLER"
oh its a thesaurus"

"This is a terrible thesaurus!"

"How bad is it?"
"It's terrible!"
Source: AARP Magazine

You know I used to feel empty before I bought a thesaurus.

Now I'm just troglodytic and disconsolate.

Scientists recently discovered a new dinosaur that was very intelligent

They named it Thesaurus

I need another name for a dinosaur.

I should consult the Thesaurus.

A Dictionary and a Thesaurus are in a library...

A Dictionary and a Thesaurus are in a library. The librarian who has taken good care of them for years and years is retiring. Understandably, the Dictionary and Thesaurus are both sad.
The Thesaurus says to the Dictionary "I can see how distraught you are."
The Dictionary responds "You don't even know the meaning of the word."
The Thesaurus then says "But I know what it's like."

Why did the thesaurus have a creeping feeling?

He had an antonym.

My new thesaurus is truly awful!

I honestly have no words to describe how angry I am!

Girl from my high school was obsessed with dinosaurs

She asked to borrow my thesaurus for an English test

I bought a new thesaurus today.

It's very.... nice.

A dictionary and a thesaurus have a child together

They had a difficult time accepting that their child was a homophone

My Parents Just Bought Me The World's Worst Thesaurus...

It was both bad and also bad.

The first rule about Thesaurus club is

that you do not talk, speak, prattle, whisper, chatter, mumble, rant, articulate, babble, describe, divulge, drone, confer, deliberate, squeal, or converse about Thesaurus Club.

The author of what's been described as the world's worst thesaurus has dismissed the comments.

He's described the comments as unfair, unfair and unfair.

I'll give up my thesaurus...

when you pry it from my frosty, frozen, lifeless, stiff extremities.

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed as it left a New York publishing house last Thursday.

According to the Associated Press,
witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied,
confused, punchy, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered,
mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, flabbergasted,
astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, boggled, 
overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, and perplexed.

My dad bought me a terrible thesaurus today...

its terrible, its seriously terrible.

I tried using a thesaurus to find synonyms for useless.

The result was futile.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Knowledge

I swallowed a dictionary....it gave me thesaurus t**... I've ever had. -credit goes to my 80 yo grandmother

What's useless, useless and also useless?

An empty thesaurus.

What's another word for thesaurus?

Lexicon.

What do we want? A thesaurus!

When do we want it?
Straightaway, forthwith, directly, immediately, instantly, away, first off, momentarily, on the double, promptly, pronto, right away, shortly, today, nowadays, PDQ, at once, at the moment, at this time.

I used to think my vocabulary was good, but then I got a thesaurus.

Now I think my vocabulary is exemplary.

I love a good thesaurus. It's such a rewording experience.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I just swallowed a dictionary...

It gave me thesaurus t**... I've ever had,

In this day and age, keeping a paper thesaurus around the house is as useless as....

Um....as useless.....as.....um.....

Man, I hate this new thesaurus I got

I can't even find the words to describe how useless it is.

My thesaurus is so bad...

...you might even say it's bad.

I recently found a terrible thesaurus...

It was terrible.

This man does not understand the meaning of surrender, defeat, disappointment or subjugation....

So we all pitched in and bought him a thesaurus

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I read the dictionary out loud today.

It gave me thesaurus t**... ever!

A thesaurus walks into a tavern.

People keep telling me to get a thesaurus

But aren't all dinosaurs not existing forever?

Thesauruses are, for lack of a better word,

useless

I was angry at my roommate for buying a new thesaurus every week

So i told her "Enough is enough!"

I can trust the inventor of the thesaurus.

He's a man of his words.

Me: *sees good joke, upvotes*

Also Me: *pulls out thesaurus*
Time to make this my own

I went to the store today to buy a thesaurus..

They had none left. It was just terrible, and terrible.

My daughter brought home a common core thesaurus from school today!

Not only is it terrible, it's also terrible!

My brother has been writing a stage drama about a dictionary and a thesaurus. I'm really looking forward to it.

I love a play on words.

A girl just finished telling her problem to a dictionary, thesaurus and an atlas...

The dictionary replied, "I know what you mean"
The thesaurus said, "I feel the same way"
And the atlas said, "I can see where you're coming from"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What did the dictionary say when it got a cold?

I had thesaurus t**... ever.....
I'll see myself out

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Warning!

Don't eat dictionaries!
You'll get thesaurus t**...!

What is the scariest dinosaur for the illiterate?

A Thesaurus

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I think my English teacher is a dinosaur

Because he said he is a walking thesaurus

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A man walks into a bar...

... sits on the bar stool and lets out a deep sigh.
The bartender notices asks "What the problem Joe?"
The replies "My wife is upset. She told me I dont complement her enough. I told her shes a simple woman but apparently she heard that before."
"Hey Joe, I got a thesaurus over there. Maybe you could surprise her."
"All right Bob thanks!"
The next day the man is back at the bar, sits on the bar stool, and lets out a deeper sigh.
Before the bartender could ask, the man exclaims "I guess calling her a basic b**... isnt the same as a simple woman."

I read a bad thesaurus the other day.

And it wasn't just *bad*, it was *bad*.

I've lost my thesaurus.

I can't find the words to describe how I feel

It was my birthday yesterday and I got given a rubbish thesaurus

It was rubbish

Why was the man who had lost his thesaurus so quiet?

He was a man of few words

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I have trouble keeping their jobs these days...

First I was working at a potato farm, but then I was sacked.
Next it was the tuna factory, but then I was canned.
Next I tried being a lumberjack, but then I got axed.
Next I found an opening at the crematorium, but then I was fired.
Next I s**... up at the gun manufacturers, so I was quickly discharged.
Next I was printing thesauruses, but then my job was made redundant.
Now I'm growing magenta bananas, but I think I might get a pink slip.

Thesaurus joke, I have trouble keeping their jobs these days...

jokes about thesaurus