He replied, "I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now."
I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense."
He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer just broke."
and says "some asshole has my pen"
As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection
"Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog," said the vet.
A Proctologist is giving an exam, and as he is nearing the end of the patient's visit, he goes to write a prescription. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out, to his surprise, a rectal thermometer.
He looks at it and, exclaims, "Damn it! Some asshole has my pen!"
Mercury is in Uranus
A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. She grabs a deposit slip, pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse, and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and, without missing a beat, says, "well, that's great...some asshole's got my pen."
"I doubt it", said the doctor, "Mercury is in Uranus right now."
The patient said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense."
Neither do I", replied the doctor, "My thermometer just broke in your ass."
Mainly, the taste.
and thinks to herself, some asshole has my pen
So I was at the doctor's office and he decided to prescribe a drug for an illness. But when he reached into his pocket to grab a pen so he could write the prescription, he instead pulled out a thermometer. He looked at it, then turned to me and said "Great, some asshole's got my pen."
He replied, "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus right now"
I said, "I don't believe in any of that astrology bullshit doc"
"Neither do I. My thermometer just broke"
He reaches into his pocket to take out his pen, but finds a rectal thermometer instead. Annoyed, he complains, "Some asshole stole my pen!"
Some asshole's got my pen.
"Ugh, some asshole's got my pen!"
So I went to the doctor and he was needed to write me a prescription. He reached into his pocket to pull out a pen..Instead he pulls out a rectal thermometer..
The doctor then yells "Damn, some asshole's got my pen!"
"Ugh, some asshole has my pen", she thought.
"Some asshole's got my pen"
she exclaims, "Some asshole's got my pen!"
and pulls out a thermometer. "Oh great, some asshole's got my pen!"
A doctor walks into a bank to make a deposit. When he goes to sign the check, he realizes he's scribbling with a thermometer.
"Oh, that's great," he says. "Some asshole's got my pen!"
A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. "Oh, damn it," he proclaims, "Some asshole has my pen!"
She sees it and says, "Oh dammit, some asshole took my pen."
So he reached in his pocket and pulled out a thermometer. "Shit," he said, "some asshole has my pen."
...when he's stopped by a passing nurse "Doctor, why do you have a rectal thermometer tucked over your ear ?" She asked "Damnit" he said grabbing the thermometer "some asshole has my pen !"
...seeking a prescription, and he can't help but notice that the doctor's writing on his clipboard with a rectal thermometer.
Not wanting to be rude, the man speaks up politely, "Uh, doc', not tryna' be impolite, but you're writing with a rectal thermometer."
The doctor pulls up his glasses, looks at the thermometer and replies, "Ah, some asshole's got my pen."
The nurse looks at the thermometer and says some asshole has my pen
Damnit, some asshole has my pen!
A nurse is doing her rounds in the hospital and has to do some paperwork.
She fumbles around her pockets looking for a pen and to her dismay she finds a rectal thermometer.
She sighs and proclaims: "Oh, some asshole has got my pen!"
He walks up to the teller and hands it to her, but she reminds him that it needs to be signed. He reaches into his pocket for a pen, but pulls out a rectal thermometer. He says, "Oh crap.." The teller asks, "Is something wrong?" and the doctor replies, "It's nothing, just that some asshole has my pen."
He pulls out a rectal thermometer instead, "Ah goddammit some asshole has my pen!"
"Dammit, some asshole's got my pen."
"Doctor," says the nurse, "you've got a rectal thermometer behind your ear."
The doctor pulls the thermometer from behind his ear and looks at it incredulously. "Nurse, do you know what this means? Some asshole's got my pencil!"
A proctologist walked into a bank. Preparing to sign a deposit slip, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to write with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great! Some asshole's got my pen!"
Patient: Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life?
Doctor: I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus right now.
Patient: I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense.
Doctor: Neither do I. My thermometer just broke in your ass.
A nurse meets him and says, "Doctor, why do you have a thermometer behind your ear?"
He reaches up, looks at the thermometer and says, "Awww dammit, some asshole has my pen!"
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Thermometer? Well, here are the best Thermometer dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Thermometer pick up lines to share with friends.