The Best 52 Theresa Jokes

Following is our collection of Theresa jokes which are very funny. There are some theresa coalition jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these theresa dominican puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Theresa Jokes and Puns

Three nuns at the pearly gates with St. Peter.

St. Peter tells the nuns, "since you've all dedicated your lives to God, we will let you go back and live as anyone you'd like to."

The first nun says, "I'd like to be Mother Theresa", and Peter says, "No problem."

The second nun says, "I'd like to return as Princess Diana", and Peter says, "Sure thing."

The third nun says, "I'd like to be Sarah Pippilini." St. Peter says, "I'm sorry sister but I don't know who that is." The nun holds up a newspaper and points to the headline.

St. Peter laughs and says, "No, no sister that doesn't say 'Sarah Pippilini'; it says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days'."

Who may become a Prime Minister?

Theresa may.

What are Hillary Clinton, Elizabeth Warren, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Theresa May doing in a room together?

...playing bridge.

David Cameron didn't do much as the Prime Minister of the UK

But Theresa May.

Can a woman be the prime minister?

Not normally but Theresa May


Princess Diana and Mother Theresa are in Heaven

when Mother Theresa notices that Princess Diana has a bigger halo than she does.

She asks God, "Why does the Princess Diana get a bigger halo than me, she was a great person but I helped so many more people. I should at least have the same size halo as her"

God replies, "That's not a halo, it's a steering wheel"

Spurs should have some talks with Theresa May

They got out of Europe within 2 months

Scotland might not leave the EU...

but Theresa May.

Is this true?

Heard a Chinese guy saying today that Theresa May has called for a general erection.

Who is Theresa and why is everyone talking about what she may do?

I want to only hear about what Theresa actually does, not what Theresa MAY do.

I won't control what you do on the internet

but Theresa May

You can explore theresa jackie reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean theresa christine dad jokes. There are also theresa puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I have a recurring wet dream about Theresa May

Where I'm drowning her in the Thames.

What do Theresa May and John Malkovich have in common?

They both played themselves.

Not all UK politicians will cry tonight

but Theresa May

What is Theresa May's least favorite movie?

Minority Report

To be fair Theresa May warned of a coalition of chaos propped up by extremist terrorist sympathisers

She just didn't say she'd be leading it

Theresa May?

More like Theresa GAY! Amirite fellas.

When England had an Emperor, it was an Empire; when it had a King, it was a Kingdom; now they have Theresa May...

...and it is a Country.

We used to have kingdoms ran by kings and empires ran by emperors and now we have theresa may

And now it's mayhem


Why did the UK have to get a new Prime Minister after Brexit?

Because David Cameron wouldn't do it, but Theresa May.

Why does Theresa May not have children?

She's never wanted to be in Labour

Jose Mourinho has been brought in to help Theresa May with Brexit negotiations.

He made leaving Europe look so easy.

Friend who lives in Russia told me this joke

(English isn't my first language, sorry if the translation isn't the best)

The phone rings at 10 Downing Street.

- Hello, mister Putin would like to speak with Theresa May.

- I'm afraid she's currently sleeping.

- Very well, if she wakes up please tell her that mister Putin would like to talk to her.

- Will do.

- Thank you. *hangs up*

- Wait. What do you mean "if"?

Theresa May to put a cap on immigrants coming into the UK. I think this is unfair...

They should be allowed to wear what they like.

Punctuation is very important...

There's a Maypole dancer.

Theresa May, pole dancer.

What do Theresa May and a human trafficker have in common?

They both sell arms to Saudis

What's the difference between IKEA and Theresa May?

A cabinet designed by IKEA doesn't fall apart so easily.

What did Theresa May try to order from IKEA?

A new cabinet

"Pity about your boys coming in fourth in the world Cup!" joked Trump to Theresa May.

"Yeah..." she replied. "Pity about your boys coming second in Vietnam. Oh, you weren't there, were you?"

World Leaders

President Macron, Theresa May and Angela Merkel meet for a summit at the North Sea.

Gazing over the water, May says, "We have a submarine that can stay underwater for 10 days."  Macron responds, "That's nothing, our submarines can stay underwater for 30 days!"  Merkel looks quite ashamed and shies away, when suddenly a U-Boot surfaces, the hatch opens and the commander looks out: "Heil Hitler, we need Diesel!"

Why is it called the United Kingdom instead of the United Queendom when it's ruled by a Queen?

Because it's still ruled by a man (Theresa May)

In heaven Mother Theresa is complaining to god that Princes Diana's halo is bigger than hers...

God giggles... That's not a halo, that's a steering wheel.

What is Theresa May's favourite Tv show?

Deal or no Deal

Guess who may be out of a job tomorrow?

Theresa May....

If you're having a bad day...

Just remember that somewhere out there, Theresa May is having a worse one.

Theresa May Survive Non-confidence vote...

...or she may not.

Thank you.

Following yesterday's vote, the British PM officially changed her name

She now goes by the name of Theresa May Notbetheretomorrow

How is Theresa May Like a Catholic Teen?

She's got no Plan B after she gets screwed.

Theresa may is so bad at negotiating

she came out of DFS with a full price sofa

I heard that the Brexit may not make such a big mess after all

But Theresa May

Why can you tell that Theresa May failed physics?

She had power and time but didn't get the work done.

Creds to my friend for that one.

Teachers: Procrastination is bad!

Theresa May: Hold my government

Theresa May has asked to delay Brexit until June

It makes sense, June comes after the end of May.

In a speech two days ago, Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she plans to delay Brexit, in the hopes that the UK leaves with her deal on 22 May

May wants to leave at the end of May.

Theresa asked for June

But it seems she will only get May..

Why Did Jeremy Corbyn smile when Theresa May offered to resign?

He thought he was getting rid of something overdue-ish.

Theresa May's Brexit deal just lost for a third time in parliament.

Didn't she ever learn that no means no ?

Too soon? For me too.

What did the father tell his son to strengthen his resolve of becoming the PM of UK?

Where there's a will, Theresa May.

What does Theresa May think U.K. stands for?

Not much

How does Theresa May change a Lightbulb?

She doesn't. She says Labour already screwed it up.

Theresa May to host new game show!

Neither Deal Nor No Deal

Yesterday, UK protesters tore down monuments of Boris Johnson and Theresa May

Lawyers assume that they will be charged for a statue-tory crime

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the theresa kathleen jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working theresa windsor piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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