The Best 74 Therapy Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Therapy jokes. There are some therapy treatment jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these therapy sex therapy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Therapy Jokes and Puns

At first I thought my therapy for Stockholm syndrome was useless

But now I kind of like it.

I saw a doctor's office that does proton therapy.

I never thought that subatomic particles would need therapy, but I guess it's not easy being positive all the time.

OCD

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants
in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were
looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this
disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses
the day after the ad came out.

All from the same person.

Therapy joke, OCD

A man told his friend: "After 12 years of...

...therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'"

After 5 years of therapy, my therapist finally said something that brought tears to my eyes.

'No hablo ingles'


Ain't therapy great?

He yawns, but doesn't seem bored,

If you think of his bill, you are poor,

If you're feeling blue,

and want to get screwed,

"The Rapist" -it's there on his door.

A kid with a speech impediment spends his entire childhood in speech therapy.

Youthless

Therapy joke, A kid with a speech impediment spends his entire childhood in speech therapy.

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch,...

... the psychiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."
"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."

There were seven dwarves in a bath feeling happy

Happy needed years of intensive therapy and counselling before eventually committing suicide

I went to Art Therapy to treat my dyslexia.

I don't know why they put me in a maze, but the cheese was good.

The musical doctor

Man: Doctor Doctor I need a cure for my depression.

Doctor: Music is great therapy, here, I'll loan you my old guitar, it's broken but you should get some use out of it.

Man: Hang on, why would you lend me your guitar just like that? Is there some sort of hidden clause in this?

Doctor: Don't worry, there's no strings attached.

ba dum tss.

You can explore therapy evaluation reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean therapy therapeutic dad jokes. There are also therapy puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I was a megalomaniac, I got therapy, now I'm perfect

A married couple is in therapy

The therapist asks the husband, "When you are having sex, what do most wish your wife would do?"

The husband answers, "She can do whatever she likes, so long as she doesn't come home without calling first."

(I just made that up.)

A 96 year old man goes to an addictions therapy meeting...

He listens as each person explains their addiction and then its his turn.

"Hello, my name is Bob and I have a sex addiction," he says. "I have sex at least once a day, sometimes two or three times."

"Hello Bob," says the therapist. "Glad you are here. Never too old to get help."

"Help?" says Bob, "I ain't here to get help. I just came to brag!"

Some people need therapy.

... The rest of us just know how to conceal evidence

There is a trend in psychotherapy called Anger Expression therapy where the patient is to express any anger immediately no matter how small or trivial.

Its all the rage.

Therapy joke, There is a trend in psychotherapy called Anger Expression therapy where the patient is to express an

Have to take my son to speech therapy..

Easier done than said

Gene Therapy

The act of watching Gene Wilder films to cope with the loss of Gene Wilder.

This is the place for wordplay, right?

If you have rectal cancer and it's treated with radiation therapy...

Is that a Rem job?


When is the Speech Therapy Class?

It's hard to say.

Why did Waldo go to therapy?

To find himself.

Patients shocked to hear.....

.....new electro-shock therapy for the deaf.

A couple in therapy

The wife: "I'm just tired of him getting sayings wrong."

The therapist: "Do you really do that?"

The husband: "Oh, cry me a table!"

Finally scheduled a therapy appointment to talk about my procrastination

But I rescheduled it for next week

How are cancer and pregnancy similar?

They can both be fixed with intense radiation therapy.

I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley

Thanks to months of therapy, I'm finally battling my Damons.

Love him or hate him at least President Trump is raising awareness of one of the greatest challenges facing America.....

....Mental Health. 'Cause either that dude is crazy or I am and my best guess is before all this is said and done we're all going to need a little therapy.

The only difference between group sex and group therapy...

is that in group therapy you hear about everyone's problems, and in group sex you see them.

My parents sent me to conversion therapy.

They wanted me to go from "Pascals" to "Jewels".

Coming out as gay was a surprise for everyone,

But I thought the therapy was more shocking.

I joined a loneliness therapy group...

No one showed up.

What do you call a quadriplegic in a therapy pool?

Vegetable soup

I've been so stressed that I started doing that Chinese needle therapy. You know the one...

Heroin.

Socks are like unhappy couples in therapy

always trying to leave each other, only to be brought back together by a third party

Gunpowder therapy

A boy goes to his grandfather and says "Grandpa, how did you ever get so old?"

"Well," replies the grandfather, "every morning, I pour a teaspoon of gunpowder into my coffee, and I guess that's the reason." So the boy begins drinking coffee and doing the same.

90 years pass, and the boy dies having reached the age of 95. He left behind 3 kids, 5 grandkids, 4 great grandkids, several million dollars, and a 60 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

I don't know where I would be without my wife.

But I do know it wouldn't be in a therapy room.

At my therapy session today, I suddenly remembered that as a child I was molested by a clown.

I never knew I had IT in me.

Kevin Spacey is undergoing conversion therapy and hope to eventually have a normal marriage.

He says, "I want to have kids."

I don't need therapy

What I need is these squirrels to stop singing Pink Floyd.

I saw a sign at the hospital. It said, "Therapy Can Help Torture Victims".

I thought, "It's probably not a good idea then."

10 unbelievable therapy treatments!

Number 5 will shock you.

how do you cheer up a dog that's lost its tail?

retail therapy

I opened up a sex therapy clinic for deer.

It's called "More Bang for Your Buck"

I'm halfway through my gay conversion therapy

But I'm barely getting bi.

Took my wife to therapy to fix her Tourette's syndrome

Waste of money that was. Turns out I **am** a c*nt and she **does** want me to f*ck off..!

Ever since I started sex reassignment therapy my son's been ignoring me...

It's like I'm transparent

I stabbed twenty people in the supermarket line with thin needles.

It's a new type of therapy I'm calling "aqueuepuncture".

Will Smith walks into a group therapy session for depression...

So that's it, huh? We some kinda suicide squad?

What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?

The money that you have to pay for therapy.

What did the stingy schizophrenic finally come to realize after years of therapy?

That Sharon is Karen...

If your friends jumped off a bridge would you

Was probably not the best way to break the ice in group therapy

I used to have multiple personalities...

"And how are you doing after all this time in therapy?"

We are all doing just fine.

I graduated top of my class at gay conversion therapy

Everyone else wanted to be bottoms

I used to have an unhealthy obsession with plumbing parts but,

after years of therapy, I finally got it out my cistern.

My friend told me that he was sent to a therapy group for procrastinators.

They haven't conducted the first session yet.

I brought my therapy dog named stains to the laundromat the other day and he started to run of

So i shouted come stains!

What do you call a show where people laugh at you while you get your therapy?

Dr.Phil

Where are ADHD children sent for therapy?

Concentration camps.

Why did the electron go to therapy?

It couldn't be positive.

I started therapy the other day

My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds, physically and mentally". So I stabbed them. Now we wait.

My brother, my sister, and myself pooled our money together

We treated our dad with this fish therapy where little fish nibble on the dead skin until it is gone.

It was money well spent, because it was much cheaper than a regular funeral.

A man wakes up the mental ward

Relax, sir, you've just had ECT.

What's that?

Electrical shock therapy. After a shock to the brain, you have temporary partial memory loss. Patients often forget about the things that cause them stress and tension, allowing to them to relax and get better.

Okay.

Now that you're awake, I'll call your wife in...

My what?

A man thought he was a worm.

A man thought he was a worm. And thus he was afraid of chickens, because, well, chickens eat worms. Obviously.

So he went into therapy. After 6 months the therapist managed to convince him that he no longer was a worm.

And as a final test, he needed to face chickens. Upon seeing the chickens he got scared and hid himself from the chickens.

Upon seeing this his therapist asked "Why are you hiding from the chickens, are you still thinking you are a worm?"

The man replied "No I know I'm not a worm. But do the chickens know?"

After ten years in therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes.

"You know, maybe life isn't for everyone."

I wasn't surprised when they told me my electro therapy was free

I was shocked

Why was the cow in therapy?

Because of his low moooooood

I'm going into therapy to deal with my fear of escalators, but it shouldn't take long ...

It's only a one step program.

A bee landed on a girl's chest at the sex addiction therapy course.

Apparently screaming Boo Bee at her chest was wrong...

I got kicked out of schizophrenia group therapy yesterday.

I was just trying to be polite but I guess it was wrong to say "Don't mind me, guys. Pretend I'm not here."

[Couples Therapy] Her: I am sick of him being literal all the time!

Therapist: I see. And how do you feel?

Him: With my hands.

What do you call Mark Zuckerberg getting therapy?

Tech support

Breakthrough in therapy

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. When I asked him a question, he said, 'No hablo ingles.'

How many psychoanalyst does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one. But, it takes years and years of therapy, and ultimately the lightbulb has to want to change.

A couple goes to therapy

A couple goes to therapy to discuss their issues.

The therapist asks. So, why are we here today?

The husband quickly try to explain.

So what happened was, that I was cleaning up in the kitchen, while putting something away I spilled a bunch of dried herbs all over the place. My wife then yells for help with folding the sheets in the bedroom and I simply replied.

"I can't right now, I have too much thyme on my hands"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the therapy massage jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working therapy compulsion piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes