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Therapy Jokes

112 therapy jokes and hilarious therapy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about therapy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make the most of your therapy sessions with a bit of humor! This article will provide you with a number of entertaining therapy jokes. From jokes about therapy dogs to ones about therapy memes and group sessions, these mental and psychological jokes are sure to bring a lightheartedness to your next evaluation.

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Funniest Therapy Short Jokes

Short therapy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The therapy humour may include short therapist jokes also.

  1. I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley Thanks to months of therapy, I'm finally battling my Damons.
  2. There is a trend in psychotherapy called Anger Expression therapy where the patient is to express any anger immediately no matter how small or trivial. Its all the rage.
  3. Joke by my 6yr old. What do you call a baby that crossed the road? Flat baby
    Seeking therapy for her now lol
  4. After 5 years of therapy, my therapist finally said something that brought tears to my eyes. 'No hablo ingles'
  5. At first I thought my therapy for Stockholm syndrome was useless But now I kind of like it.
  6. How many psychoanalyst does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one. But, it takes years and years of therapy, and ultimately the lightbulb has to want to change.
  7. At my therapy session today, I suddenly remembered that as a child I was molested by a clown. I never knew I had IT in me.
  8. I got kicked out of schizophrenia group therapy yesterday. I was just trying to be polite but I guess it was wrong to say "Don't mind me, guys. Pretend I'm not here."
  9. Kevin Spacey is undergoing conversion therapy and hope to eventually have a normal marriage. He says, "I want to have kids."
  10. [Couples Therapy] Her: I am sick of him being literal all the time! Therapist: I see. And how do you feel?
    Him: With my hands.

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Therapy One Liners

Which therapy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with therapy? I can suggest the ones about theory and treatment.

  1. Why did the winter solstice go to therapy? It had a case of seasonal dis-order.
  2. Why did the sun go to therapy? It was feeling a bit burned out.
  3. I graduated top of my class at gay conversion therapy Everyone else wanted to be bottoms
  4. When is the Speech Therapy Class? It's hard to say.
  5. What do you call Mark Zuckerberg getting therapy? Tech support
  6. Why did the electron go to therapy? It couldn't be positive.
  7. I don't need therapy What I need is these squirrels to stop singing Pink Floyd.
  8. I'm halfway through my gay conversion therapy But I'm barely getting bi.
  9. Why was the cow in therapy? Because of his low moooooood
  10. What do you call a show where people laugh at you while you get your therapy? Dr.Phil
  11. A kid with a speech impediment spends his entire childhood in speech therapy. Youthless
  12. I wasn't surprised when they told me my electro therapy was free I was shocked
  13. I joined a loneliness therapy group... No one showed up.
  14. What do you call a quadriplegic in a therapy pool? Vegetable soup
  15. What's worse than a dragon speaking to you? The money that you have to pay for therapy.

Therapy Group Jokes

Here is a list of funny therapy group jokes and even better therapy group puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I tried to start a therapy group for people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder They've assured me it's me who needs the group and I'm getting enrolled next week. I'm so grateful for their help
  • My friend told me that he was sent to a therapy group for procrastinators. They haven't conducted the first session yet.
  • If your friends jumped off a bridge would you Was probably not the best way to break the ice in group therapy
  • Group therapy One psychologist asked another psychologist how his agoraphobia group therapy sessions are going.
    "Not so good."
    "Why?"
    "No one ever shows up."
  • A terrets group therapy session is a lot like nuclear fission They can both result in a chain reaction with catastrophic results
  • There is a therapy group at school for kids who are bullied. I'm helping new members join
  • The only difference between group s**... and group therapy... is that in group therapy you hear about everyone's problems, and in group s**... you see them.
  • Will Smith walks into a group therapy session for depression... So that's it, huh? We some kinda s**... squad?

Couples Therapy Jokes

Here is a list of funny couples therapy jokes and even better couples therapy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Socks are like unhappy couples in therapy always trying to leave each other, only to be brought back together by a third party
  • A couple in therapy The wife: "I'm just tired of him getting sayings wrong."
    The therapist: "Do you really do that?"
    The husband: "Oh, cry me a table!"
  • Socks are like unhappy couples in therapy... Always trying to break up, only to be reunited by a third party.
  • A mute couple go to couple therapy. They found out there was just no communication.
  • What do you do if your pants split? Send them to couples therapy.
Therapy joke, What do you do if your pants split?

Therapy Session Jokes

Here is a list of funny therapy session jokes and even better therapy session puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A Women Goes for a therapy session...

Speech Therapy Jokes

Here is a list of funny speech therapy jokes and even better speech therapy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Have to take my son to speech therapy.. Easier done than said

Therapy Dog Jokes

Here is a list of funny therapy dog jokes and even better therapy dog puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I brought my therapy dog named stains to the laundromat the other day and he started to run of So i shouted come stains!
  • how do you cheer up a dog that's lost its tail? retail therapy
  • Therapy dogs are like strippers The relationship is over once the rubbing is done
Therapy joke, Therapy dogs are like strippers

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about therapy can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of therapy puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Unearthly Funniest Therapy Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What funny jokes about therapy you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean trial jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make therapy prank.

I saw a doctor's office that does proton therapy.

I never thought that subatomic particles would need therapy, but I guess it's not easy being positive all the time.

OCD

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants
in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were
looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this
disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses
the day after the ad came out.
All from the same person.

A man told his friend: "After 12 years of...

...therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'"

Ain't therapy great?

He yawns, but doesn't seem bored,
If you think of his bill, you are poor,
If you're feeling blue,
and want to get s**...,
"The r**..." -it's there on his door.

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch,...

... the psychiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."
"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."

There were seven dwarves in a bath feeling happy

Happy needed years of intensive therapy and counselling before eventually committing s**...

I went to Art Therapy to treat my dyslexia.

I don't know why they put me in a maze, but the cheese was good.

The musical doctor

Man: Doctor Doctor I need a cure for my depression.
Doctor: Music is great therapy, here, I'll loan you my old guitar, it's broken but you should get some use out of it.
Man: Hang on, why would you lend me your guitar just like that? Is there some sort of hidden clause in this?
Doctor: Don't worry, there's no strings attached.
ba dum tss.

I was a megalomaniac, I got therapy, now I'm perfect

A married couple is in therapy

The therapist asks the husband, "When you are having s**..., what do most wish your wife would do?"
The husband answers, "She can do whatever she likes, so long as she doesn't come home without calling first."
(I just made that up.)

A 96 year old man goes to an addictions therapy meeting...

He listens as each person explains their addiction and then its his turn.
"Hello, my name is Bob and I have a s**... addiction," he says. "I have s**... at least once a day, sometimes two or three times."
"Hello Bob," says the therapist. "Glad you are here. Never too old to get help."
"Help?" says Bob, "I ain't here to get help. I just came to brag!"

Some people need therapy.

... The rest of us just know how to conceal evidence

Gene Therapy

The act of watching Gene Wilder films to cope with the loss of Gene Wilder.
This is the place for wordplay, right?

If you have r**... cancer and it's treated with radiation therapy...

Is that a Rem job?

Why did Waldo go to therapy?

To find himself.

Finally scheduled a therapy appointment to talk about my procrastination

But I rescheduled it for next week

How are cancer and pregnancy similar?

They can both be fixed with intense radiation therapy.

Love him or hate him at least President Trump is raising awareness of one of the greatest challenges facing America.....

....Mental Health. 'Cause either that dude is crazy or I am and my best guess is before all this is said and done we're all going to need a little therapy.

My parents sent me to conversion therapy.

They wanted me to go from "Pascals" to "Jewels".

Coming out as gay was a surprise for everyone,

But I thought the therapy was more shocking.

I've been so stressed that I started doing that Chinese needle therapy. You know the one...

h**....

Gunpowder therapy

A boy goes to his grandfather and says "Grandpa, how did you ever get so old?"
"Well," replies the grandfather, "every morning, I pour a teaspoon of gunpowder into my coffee, and I guess that's the reason." So the boy begins drinking coffee and doing the same.
90 years pass, and the boy dies having reached the age of 95. He left behind 3 kids, 5 grandkids, 4 great grandkids, several million dollars, and a 60 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

I don't know where I would be without my wife.

But I do know it wouldn't be in a therapy room.

I saw a sign at the hospital. It said, "Therapy Can Help t**... Victims".

I thought, "It's probably not a good idea then."

10 unbelievable therapy treatments!

Number 5 will shock you.

I opened up a s**... therapy clinic for deer.

It's called "More Bang for Your Buck"

Took my wife to therapy to fix her Tourette's syndrome

Waste of money that was. Turns out I **am** a c*nt and she **does** want me to f*c**... off..!

Ever since I started s**... reassignment therapy my son's been ignoring me...

It's like I'm transparent

I stabbed twenty people in the supermarket line with thin needles.

It's a new type of therapy I'm calling "aqueuepuncture".

I asked my cannibal friend where he gets his veggies.

He replied "the local physical therapy clinic"

What did the stingy schizophrenic finally come to realize after years of therapy?

That Sharon is Karen...

I used to have multiple personalities...

"And how are you doing after all this time in therapy?"
We are all doing just fine.

I used to have an unhealthy obsession with plumbing parts but,

after years of therapy, I finally got it out my cistern.

I started therapy the other day

My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds, physically and mentally". So I stabbed them. Now we wait.

My brother, my sister, and myself pooled our money together

We treated our dad with this fish therapy where little fish nibble on the dead skin until it is gone.
It was money well spent, because it was much cheaper than a regular f**....

A man wakes up the mental ward

Relax, sir, you've just had ECT.
What's that?
Electrical shock therapy. After a shock to the brain, you have temporary partial memory loss. Patients often forget about the things that cause them stress and tension, allowing to them to relax and get better.
Okay.
Now that you're awake, I'll call your wife in...
My what?

A man thought he was a worm.

A man thought he was a worm. And thus he was afraid of chickens, because, well, chickens eat worms. Obviously.
So he went into therapy. After 6 months the therapist managed to convince him that he no longer was a worm.
And as a final test, he needed to face chickens. Upon seeing the chickens he got scared and hid himself from the chickens.
Upon seeing this his therapist asked "Why are you hiding from the chickens, are you still thinking you are a worm?"
The man replied "No I know I'm not a worm. But do the chickens know?"

After ten years in therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes.

"You know, maybe life isn't for everyone."

I'm going into therapy to deal with my fear of escalators, but it shouldn't take long ...

It's only a one step program.

A bee landed on a girl's chest at the s**... addiction therapy course.

Apparently screaming Boo Bee at her chest was wrong...

Breakthrough in therapy

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. When I asked him a question, he said, 'No hablo ingles.'

A couple goes to therapy

A couple goes to therapy to discuss their issues.
The therapist asks. So, why are we here today?
The husband quickly try to explain.
So what happened was, that I was cleaning up in the kitchen, while putting something away I spilled a bunch of dried herbs all over the place. My wife then yells for help with folding the sheets in the bedroom and I simply replied.
"I can't right now, I have too much thyme on my hands"

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of red wine. The bartender's therapy dog leaps to his feet, races across the room, runs down the stairs to the wine cellar and within moments returns with a lovely bottle of cabernet savignon in his jaws which he drops gently at the bartender's feet. "Wow, that dog is amazing," the guy says. "What kind is it?" "Oh, he's nothing special," the bartender replies. "Just a bordeaux collie."

My husband is best

3 wives are conversing….first says my husband is best: he cooks food and takes care of kids.
Second says my husband is best: he does all the household chores and spoils me with presents every day.
Third one says shut up! I have the best husband-he goes to therapy 6days in a week and all he talks about is me.

Relapse

"Great news, Mr. Oscarson," the psychiatrist reported. "After eighteen months of therapy, I can pronounce you finally and completely cured of your kleptomania. You'll never be trapped by the desire to steal again. "Gee, that's great, Doc," the patient replied."And just to prove it, I want you to stop by Sears on the way home and walk the length of the store.
You'll see - you'll feel no temptation to shoplift whatsoever. "Oh, Doctor, whatever can I do to thank you? "Well," suggested the psychiatrist, "if you DO have a relapse, I could use a new microwave. "

So I was rubbing down this broad at my massage therapy job, and I asked if her husband was paying.

She asked if i was a misogynist.
I said "Listen honey, its pronounced masseuse."

Therapy joke, So I was rubbing down this broad at my massage therapy job, and I asked if her husband was paying.

jokes about therapy

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these therapy jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.