Following is our collection of funny Ther jokes. There are some ther ful jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ther bie puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
But nothing bad has happened! How DARE you imply that it has? I'm only paying half for this session. Thanks for ruining my good mood... Okay, tell me all about it.
I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering...do I keep the letters?
Can't say that I'm surprised.
We'll see about that.
If not, it's a hole that needs to be filled.
He says to the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
Ther bartender replies, "For you, free of charge!"
After a long session with my therapist describing all my various problems, she asked if I'd ever considered suicide. When I said no, she replied "Well, you should."
We'll see about that.
I heard this at work and thought it was clever. Enjoy
we haven't slept in 36 years.
My therapist said, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
He didn't *actually* say that I but I know he was thinking it.
You can explore ther tha reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ther ock dad jokes. There are also ther puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A guy walks into a store and sees something. He asks what it is. "Why, it's a thermos." The clerk replies. "What does it do?" The man asks. "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The clerk replies. "By golly, that's amazing!" The man replies. So he buys the thermos.
The next day he's walking down the street when he sees his friends. "What's that?" They ask. "Why, it's a thermos." The man replies. "What does it do?" The friends ask. "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The man replies. "By golly that's amazing!" The friends exclaim, "what do you have in it?"
"Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."
He said at least until i left his office
How can someone who's perfect be narcissistic?
Therapist: "So your parents both blame you for the divorce"
John: "Nah, I was just a kid."
Therapist: "That wasn't a question. I see them twice a week."
I said, "I'm not sure if I'm a man or a woman."
He said, "Right. Just pull your pants down for me."
I said, "No."
He said, "You're a woman."
"Recoil", I calmly answered.
ME: I don't do it on porpoise
My therapist told me that I have a fear of confrontation.
I didn't agree with her but I held my tongue in case it caused an argument.
Now she charges me a group rate.
Clearly not as much as me.
Me: "I can't say I do."
Therapist: "That's one of them."
I lost it.
I'll figure out what procrastination means later
You sane, Bolt
Now there is blood everywhere.
We'll see about that.
I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
Hi suicide note read.
"Do as I say, not as I do."
My Therapist told me "Write letters to the people who you hate and burn them later".
I did that.... But now what should i do with the letters???
My coworker just asked me what I was doing to his clip-on.
I responded, "sixty-nine."
He therapist his pants!
I'd say 'I'm sorry I cremated you Pa, I really thought you were dead.'
I never knew I had IT in me.
I'm pretty sure she wants me
But now what do I do with all these letters?
What I need is these squirrels to stop singing Pink Floyd.
We'll see about that, won't we?
Me: sorry for cremating you, I honestly thought you were dead.
1024 gigapist
"You may have graduated, but I've got hundreds of degrees"
Mercury is in Uranus
The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!
(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)
She must think I'm crazy!!
I did, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
*Dear Diary,*
S*orry to bother you again.*
Me: Can't say that I'm surprised.
Therapist: Exactly.
therapist: what's your greatest fear
me: randomly going blind
therapist: i see
me: but for how long??
I think she wants to have sex with me.
Jokes on her I don't even have a therapist
Wow thanks I'm cured.
But my wife says I don't have a therapist.
It makes sense, June comes after the end of May.
Kelvin Klein
Not much
Neither Deal Nor No Deal
Well I did that, so now what do I do with the letters?
He told me to lie on the couch face down.
Husband: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
Which has saved me a bunch of money on condoms.
Jim and Carl are sitting up their post. Jim looks through his finder for a moment. Then he asks: "Carl, what would you do if your wife cheated on you?"
Carl: "I'd shoot her in the head."
Jim: "what would you do with her lover?"
Carl: "I'd shoot his balls off"
Jim looks at Carl: "If you hurry up you can do it with one bullet"
I did it. Now what should I do with the letters?
I said, Can't say that I do.
My therapist said, Yes, that's the main one.
Her: Yes.
Me: I knew it!!
me: that's my father yelling at me
therapist: and this one
me: you having sex with my wife
therapist: and this one
me: aren't these normally ink blots
My wife: It's impossible to live with him. He's too literal.
Me: My truck.
Therapist: I think I have dissociative identity disorder.
Therapist: Don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about.
Me: With sarcasm mostly.
Therapist: Has that been working?
Me: Yeah it's been super great.
I think he's just jealous of me
Therapist: Who said that?
"if you'd only open up, people would realize how sweet you were."
You're doing it right now
Patient: I can't say that I am surprised!
Just one, but the lightbulb really has to want to change.
But first I've got to want to help myself.
He didn't tell me what to do with those damn letters though.
Just one.
But it's essential that the lightbulb wants to change.
I think she's hitting on me.
Me: A sad lonely man wasting his life.
Therapist: [crying a little] I meant on the picture.
Piece of mind
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ther adjective jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working ther dis piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.