The Best 71 Theory Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Theory jokes. There are some theory turing jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these theory zoology puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Theory Jokes and Puns

Einstein developed a theory about space...

...it was about time too.

Theory vs Reality

Little Billy had a homework assignment to compare theory and reality. The boy asked his father what the difference was between theory and reality. His father told him, 'Go ask your mother if she would have sex with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his mother and she says she would. Billy tells his father she would have sex with the mailman for million dollars.

The father then tells the boy, 'Now go as your sister if she would have sex with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his sister and she to says she would have sex with the mailman.

Little Billy goes and tells his father both his mom and his sister would have sex with the mailman and his father says, "Well son, in theory we're multimillionaires, but in reality we live with a couple of whores.

In Theory...

In theory, theory and practice are the same.
In practice, they never are.

Theory joke, In Theory...

An observation by Adam Hills

"I have a slight theory as to why there's such a high percentage of obesity in America as compared to the rest of the world. I think it's because in 1984, a group of English and Irish musicians got together and put out a song that told us to 'feed the world'.
And then a year later, a group of American singers told us, 'We Are the World'"

I knew a girl so ugly, she fell asleep at a frat party...

and she woke up with more clothes on.

(Stolen from Big Bang theory, I just love this joke)


So an elderly woman thinks her husband is starting to go deaf...

The woman decides to test her theory. She stands about 30 feet way and calls to her husband:
"Oh Harry!"

She gets no response. She then stands 20 feet away and calls out to him again:
"Oh Harry!"

She is surprised that he STILL doesn't hear her call so she tries again, this time from 10 feet away:
"Oh Harry!"

Harry exclaims: "For the 3rd time Bertha! What do you want!?"

I have a theory that consuming little bits of peanut butter encased in colored candy shells provokes silly rhymes.

I call it my Reeces Pieces Thesis.

.

.

.

.

I'll see myself out.

Theory joke, I have a theory that consuming little bits of peanut butter encased in colored candy shells provokes

Einstein invented a theory about space...

and it was about time too!

Movies are too violent

A lot of Critics have been saying that movies now days are way too violent.
To test this theory I took a nine year old boy to go see Gladiator, and he cried the whole movie.

Now it may be because he didn't know who I was.

I have no problem with Capital Punishment in theory....

I just have problems with its execution.

Relativity theory

In classical (Newtonian) physics, we can't solve the three-body problem. In the theory of relativity, we can't solve the two-body problem. In quantum mechanics, we can't solve the one-body problem, and with quantum electro dynamics, we don't even understand the vacuum anymore.

You can explore theory reality reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean theory quantum dad jokes. There are also theory puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Woman in a coma

Two nurses are giving a woman in a coma a sponge bath. They notice that when they get near her private areas that she starts to get a little stimulated. The theorize that oral sex will bring her out the coma. They go out into the lobby and tell her husband their theory. The husband is a little aprehensive about it at first, but he agrees to do it. The nurses leave the man with his wife and give him some privacy. They come back about 10 minutes later and the woman is dead! "What happened?" asks one of the nurses. The man replies, "I dont know...I think she choked."

Albert Einstein just finished his theory about space.

Its about time too

A woman is in a coma and her nurses are giving her a sponge bath

They notice when they get near her lower area that her vital signs improve a little. They think oral sex may bring her out of her coma. They go in the waiting room and tell her husband their theory and assure him they will have complete privacy. The nurses leave and come back 15 minutes later and the woman is flat-lined. What happened?? Yelled the nurse. Her husband replies, I don't know...I think she choked.

Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?

*noun
the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist.*

[Game of Thrones Spoiler ALL BOOKS Fan Theory] Benjen, Bran, Daario, Euron, Syrio, Jaqen, and Coldhands walk into a restaurant..

and say: "Table for one, please."

Theory joke, [Game of Thrones Spoiler ALL BOOKS Fan Theory] Benjen, Bran, Daario, Euron, Syrio, Jaqen, and Coldha

I have a theory on scoliosis

It's just a hunch though

A boy asks his dad the difference between theory and reality..

Dad: "Go ask your sister and your mom if they'd sleep with the neighbor for a million bucks".

The boy returns awhile later...

Dad: "Well, what'd they say?"

Son: "They said that they would, but I still don't understand the difference between theory and reality".

Dad: "Son, in theory we could be millionaires but in reality we live with a couple of whores".

Do you know why you should never hire a communist employee?

Because they only work in theory


Can't believe that it's been over a hundred years since Einstein proposed his theory of relativity.

Feels like it was only yesterday...

I told my friend that I disproved the theory of conservation of mass,

But he didn't understand the weight of the situation.

Scientists have a new working theory on what happened before the Big Bang.

Your mom put an ad on Craigslist.

A professor was teaching a class of hyperintelligent youngsters on Game Theory

"To get an A in the test tomorrow your score will have to be as close as possible to 2/3s of the average score of the class."

Afterwards everyone signed up for the test.

The test was the next day.

No one showed up.

Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

Reality!

11:30- I will go to bed soon.

03:30- Why am i on wikipedia reading about advanced nuclear theory.

I haven't always believed in climate change

But I'm warming up to the theory.

Some people say that The Big Bang Theory disproves God...

I mean, sure, it's not the best show, but I wouldn't go *that* far.

What's the opposite of critical thinking?

Critical theory.

I don't trust anyone with a conspiracy theory, man.

I think they are all up to something.

I want to open a gym for people with fetishes.

It's a great idea in theory, but I'm still trying to work out the kinks.

I'm pretty sure that I am related to Albert Einstein.

However despite all of my research into my family tree, I just can't prove my theory of relativity.

Miss Columbia, Hillary Clinton, and La La Land won Miss Universe, the U.S. Presidency, and Best Picture.

In theory.

My mother always told me: "If you want a job done well, do it yourself"

That theory didn't pan out too well with my last surgery.

If the big bang theory, how I met your mother and two and a half men had ever crossed over it would've been called

How I banged your mother with two and a half men

After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting...

"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"

Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time"

Hanging a Beggar is good in theory, but...

Is actually just Poor Execution

Female hormones in a beer

Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.

The String Theory might be the answer to everything...

..but then again, it might knot.

A base-12 number system is good in theory

but it dozen stand a chance in practice.

If I recall correctly, in the mid 1900s, Albert Einstein proposed a new theory on space,

and it was about time, too.

I have a new theory on inertia

But it is not gaining any momentum.

Rick and morty recently surpassed Big Bang Theory as the highest rated comedy on television...

In other news, apparently Big Bang Theory is supposed to be funny.

Little Johny asks his dad the difference between theory and reality.

Dad says: Go ask your mother if she would sleep with anyone for a million dollars. Johny runs off and asks his mom and comes back. She said yes! Dad says: Now go ask your sister. Johny comes back and says She said yes!

Dad tells Johny: In theory we have 2 million dollars. In reality we live with two whores.

The guillotine was decent in theory

But amazing in execution.

What do you get when you combine How I Met Your Mother, 2 and a Half Men, and The Big Bang Theory

How 2 and a Half Men Banged Your Mother.

I used to believe in the flat earth theory

Then it dawned on me.

Why did the political theory class think their teacher was being unfair?

He gave the whole class the same Marx

An awkward friend of mine just finished his PhD in palindrome theory..

Now he's Dr. Awkward.

A new conspiracy theory states Priness Diana was actually on the radio shortly after the supposed accident that killed her.

And the windshield, and the dashboard...

^^^I ^^^feel ^^^dirty

A lot of people believe Walt Disney is cryogenically frozen in the basement of CalArts.

# I personally love this conspiracy theory because it's a wonderful example of suspended animation.

Credit to the greatest animation professor of all time, Mr. Theo Artz of Drexel University.

There's a theory that people don't see the exact same colors

Does that mean
*color is a pigment of you imagination*

huehuehuehue

New Conspiracy Theory about 9/11

So, if you convert 9/11 into a decimal, you get 0.8181818181818181818181818181.... going on forever. What's the eighth letter of the alphabet? H. What's the first letter of the alphabet? A. That's right, ladies and germs. The Joker did 9/11.

Stephen Hawking's final theory, written just before he died, was released yesterday.

It's about time

There is a conspiracy theory that claims Princess Diana was on the radio after her reported death.

I'd like to confirm this was completely true, she WAS on the radio, and the dashboard, the steering wheel, the back of the seats and the windscreen.

Flat Earth theory debunked

We can say with certainty that the Earth is not flat because if it was cats would have tossed everything off the edge already.

I can't believe it has been more than a hundred years since Einstein published his Theory of Relativity.

It seems like only yesterday.

Today I turned in my rough draft of a paper on Darwin's theory.

The teacher said it would be decent with modification.

I have this theory about my sex life lately

Actually, it's more of a hypothesis since I have no physical evidence to suggest it even exists.

The history of boy bands proves the theory of evolution

They all descended from The Monkees.

My brother is a big believer in Flat Earth Theory

but he is starting to come around.

Was Einstein's theory good?

Relatively

My favourite conspiracy theory is ...

That everything is going to be ok.

According to the Big Bang Theory the universe began in Arizona

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state

Albert Einstein

developed a theory about space. And, boy, it was about time, too!

What's the difference between the truth and a conspiracy theory?

About 6-12 months.

I've heard a theory that the dinosaurs died out because their eggs became rotten.

It was a mass egg-stink-tion!

Socialism sounds great in theory...

But in practice, you just gonna get couped by the CIA.

Did you know that Brian May, the guitarist from British rockband Queen, has a PhD on Astrophysics?

Yeah, he started his schooling before Queen formed, and achieved his PhD in 2007. One of his dissertations is heavily criticized by the science community though, and it's because he has an odd theory of what causes the Earth's rotation.

You see, he thinks that 'Fat Bottomed Girls make the Rockin World go round.'

I have a theory as to why the Cybertruck is taking so long to get in production:

They are experiencing an Elon-gated Delay!

Why did Reddit mods take down Darwin's theory of evolution post?

The link was missing

Einstein created a theory about space

and it was about time too

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the theory theoretic jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working theory scientific piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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