The Best 46 Theatre Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Theatre jokes. There are some theatre booth jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these theatre thespian puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Theatre Jokes and Puns
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre
What do you call Bob Ross spinning around in circles at a theatre play?
Aphrodisiac
I remember directing a play and I thought I'd spice it up a bit by adding a lesbian shower scene...
Some say I'm the fresh and bold thing that theatre needs, others that I ruined the nativity.
Recently I felt Funny and came over Queasy...
At which point I was told to leave the local theatre adaption of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
So I was in the movie theatre...
and I was watching an incredibly sad film. So sad that the man behind me started wailing, then he hit me in the head with a harpoon.
Where did the Japanese watch their movies in WWII
The Pacific Theatre
Can someone please explain this joke to me?
How do you get the elephant out of the theatre?
You can't. It's in his blood.
Got thrown out of the theatre during the Superman movie...
... but I was able to sneak back in by putting on glasses.
I was in an operating theatre today...
...and a surgeon asked for a stool to sit on to perform the surgery. I got one, and pushed it towards him saying "stool behind you".
He replied "I'm so sorry, I thought it was only a fart".
My friend and I are going to see a movie.
As we enter the theatre, we see a sign that says "no food or drink permitted."
Quietly I say, "I have a way to get around this."
To which he says, "How? It's not like we have a purse or huge pockets to hide things in."
I replied, "I've got a couple Twix up my sleeves."
I saw my local theatre advertising a night of XXX Roman plays...
I thought "ooo, sounds sexy," so I went along, but was disappointed.
It turned out to just be thirty plays.
You can explore theatre films reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean theatre cinema dad jokes. There are also theatre puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
People love animals. There's movies where people get blown up and shot. But you kill one puppy...
They ask you to leave the theatre!
A local movie theatre was robbed of $600 worth of merchandise
The suspects stole 3 medium popcorns, 1 bag of skittles and 4 small diet cokes.
[WARNING, spoilers ahead!]
1.) Storing milk at room temperature
2.) Grandparents
3.) Black people in a movie theatre
John Wilkes Booth is one of history's greatest stand-up comedians
I heard he really killed at Ford's Theatre.
I'm in a 12 step program for musical theatre addicts.
I'm on step 5, 6, 7, and!
Breaking News: A movie theatre has just been robbed of over two thousand dollars
The theives took a large soda and two bags of popcorn
My dad always used to say "The first rule of theatre is to always leave them wanting more".
Good man, terrible anaesthetist.
My local theatre were showing some XXX Roman plays..,
I thought that it sounded pretty hot, turns out it was just 30 Roman plays.
My father taught me the first rule of theatre
"Always leave them wanting more"
A great man. Terrible anaesthetist.
Heard of a theatre company called 'Sex in Each City'
Apparently they do four plays in all cities they visit.
The importance to great sex is a big build up followed by a crashing finale.
But unfortunately we got kicked out of the theatre
The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.
Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material
A thief entered a theatre...
He stole the spotlight
The actress who played the lead role in the local theatre production of Anne Frank's Diary was so bad
That the scene where the Nazis entered the stage and said "where is she" the audience shouted "she's in the attic".
What's Long and Hard and full of seamen?
The Pacific theatre of WW2!
My grandfather predicted that the Titanic would sink.
He tried to warn everyone that it was going to sink, but the fools wouldn't listen. Being the good man that he was, he kept on urging people to heed his warning, right up until he was escorted out of the movie theatre by security.
Did hear about the thief that decided to raid the theatre?
He sure stole the spotlight.
A man walks into a Movie Theater with a bag
-"What's that in the bag"
--"An AK-47"
-"No, the thing next to it"
--"A bag of Cheetos"
-"Sorry, you can't take that to the Theatre"
My great grandfather got to see the Titanic
He told everyone it would sink, no one believed him. He said it again, they shut him up. For the last time, he warned everyone that it would sink. They have had enough and he got kicked out of the movie theatre.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
Will and Tom go to the theatre, but Will gets up to leave after the curtain closes for the first interval.
'Where are you going?' asks Tom. 'It's not worth the wait,' says Will. 'Look in the programme. Act two - one month later.'
My Granddad kept trying to tell them that the Titanic would sink.
He kept on telling them, but noone listened. They all got sick of him and eventually kicked him out of the theatre.
John Wilkes Booth
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theatre."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Friend: Did you hear about the robbery at the movie theatre the other day?
Me: No, what?
Friend: Yeah, apparently they stole more than $1000 worth of stuff
Me: Oh my god, what stuff?
Friend: 5 cokes and 10 popcorns
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
Another movie reboot
Pam and Doug were walking past a movie theatre when Doug pointed and said hey look they're remaking that old PG-13 classic, but it looks like this time they're giving it an R!
Pam looked over and, sure enough, there was a big poster for Planet Of The Rapes
My Great Uncle always used to say "The first rule of theatre is to always leave them wanting more".
Great bloke...
Terrible anaesthetist...
Years ago I won a tony for my work in the theatre, but year after year went by and my dull attempts to win another were in vain. Then, one day I wrote a play about how I changed my routine and began to lead an exciting life. For this I won another award.
You could say I've broken out of monotony
How do you steal the heart of a cute girl?
Answer: From the operation theatre!
I'm writing a piece for the theatre.
It's called "Dictionary: A Play on Words"
A man takes his place in the theatre, but his seat is too far from the stage.
He whispers to the usher "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat and I'll give you a handsome tip". The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks at the quarter in his hand, leans over and whispers "The wife did it".
My grandfather warned the people that the Titanic would sink.......
No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre.
I wrote a script about the dictionary for my local theatre
It's a play on words.
Why did the dyslexic employee at the concession stand at the movie theatre get arrested?
For bootlegging copporn !!!
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the theatre movie jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working theatre studio piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.