Following is our collection of funny The Shoe jokes. There are some the shoe shoes jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these the shoe croc shoe puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I couldn't concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasn't suited to be a tailor; the muffler factory was just exhausting; couldn't cut it as barber; didn't have the patience to be a doctor; didn't fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn't see any future as a historian.
I thought I found a quarter inside one of my shoes. That would have been strange enough on its own, but it turned out to be a nickel, which made even less cents.
No one knows what it's like to not walk a mile in their shoes.
So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Now my hose, bra, and panties." I took them off. Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."
I hate Indonesian children.
So, in fear it had been stolen, I ran home to check. To my relief, mine was still there, polishing my shoes.
when I saw a black guy with a TV. I was shocked, and I rushed back home, thinking it was mine. But luckily, it was still there, shining my shoes.
... And I dunno what he laced them with but I've been trippin ever since
He yells "This is a fuck-up!"
Confused the bank teller asks "Don't you mean stick-up?"
The man scuffs his shoes on the carpet and says "No, I've left my gun at home.
White Vans.
I'll be here all week.
So I did as she said and took off her shirt.
Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I continued and took off her skirt.
"Take off my shoes." Once again, I did as she said and I took off her shoes.
"Now my hose, bra, and panties." And lastly, I took them off.
Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."
You can explore the shoe walks reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean the shoe thermal dad jokes. There are also the shoe puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Every time I walk in her room that's all she's doing.
Horcrocs
White vans
I saw a black guy running down the street with a TV and I thought "that's mine".
But then I realized mine is home, polishing my shoes.
White vans.
And I don't know what he laced them with.. But I've been tripping all day
Yesterday I was walking on the streets in my hometown Rotterdam, in the Netherlands. I was about to go to the grocery store when I saw a black man running with a TV. I was afraid of it being mine, so I ran home as quick as possible, but luckily mine was still there, polishing my shoes.
I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day
White vans.
So they can sneak across pool tables.
Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table?
Works, doesn't it?
You'll know how bad it hurts to not have a sole.
He looks at your shoes instead of his.
I have no idea what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
You would have such big shoes to fill
After all, I've walked a mile in their shoes.
I dont know what they were laced with, but I've been tripping ever since
I thought for a second, "man that looks a lot like mine' so I ran home quick and nope there was mine still shining my shoes.
A shoe.
Upon entering my house, I was relieved to see that mine was at home polishing my shoes.
Why are people with diamond shoes so bad for the environment?
They have a big carbon footprint...
sabe inglΓ©s?"
"si"
"como se dice 'un zapato' en inglΓ©s?"
"a shoe"
"salud"
"gracias
So I took off her shirt.
Then she said, "Take off my skirt."
I took off her skirt."Take off my shoes."
I took off her shoes.
"Now take off my bra and panties."
and so I took them off.
Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."
That way when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and also have their shoes.
After that who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!
"Actually, it's *orthopedic*", my doctor said.
"I stand corrected", I replied.
He instructed the boy, When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.
The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he's the new village blacksmith
White vans.
Or a pharmacy, or maybe a shoe store.
I saw her walking down the street with one shoe. I said "hey you lost a shoe". She said "na I found one"
Pumps and high heels yes, running shoes no- she will probably get away.
With little knotsies.
"Hey pervy!" she said. "I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts, isn't it?!"
"That's absolutely ridiculous!" I said. "I don't even work here!"
Then clowns are way scarier than we all thought.
Human: "So i get anything I want?"
Satan: "Absolutely."
Human: "You say all you want is my shoe?"
Satan: "Just the bottom part, but yes."
Not only will you be a mile away from them, you'll also have their shoes.
White Vans.
The friend goes upstairs and sees the paralyzed man's two sexy 17 year old daughters.
He says, Your father sent me up here to have sex with you.
One of the girls replies, That couldn't possibly be true!
The man says I'll prove it and then yells towards the stairs, Both of them?
The paralyzed man yells back Of course both of them!
I don't care how big a spider is, no-one steals my shoe...
Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."
Trust me. I did. I don't know what they were laced with but I was tripping all day.
She said she could never get shoes to match. I tried to console her so I said at least your knickers fit like a glove
As she passes her local store, the shopkeeper says, "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, Sister?"
She finds it odd, but keeps walking. On her walk, three more people pass her and say, "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, Sister?"
Still baffled as she gets to the church, she walks to another nun at the pulpit and asks, "Why does everyone keep asking me if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today?!"
The other nun looks down and says, "You're wearing the priest's shoes"
I don't care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe
I had some pretty big shoes to fill.
I don't really care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe.
Husband: No how can I think of remarrying.
Wife: Why not? You would need a partner for your bad times. Please remarry if I die.
Husband: You are so sweet... Even after death, you are worried about me.
Wife: Will you let her use my car?
Husband: Of course not
Wife: Will you give my jewellery to her
Husband: Not at all, I have some of my memories attached to it. I will keep it as your memory.
Wife: Will you give my shoes to her
Husband: No way... Her size is '5' and yours is '7'.
Man buys a talking centipede for $5000 and takes it home in a small box.
When he gets home, he opens the box and says "Would you like to go for a beer?"
The centipede doesn't answer...
Raising his voice he repeats the question, still no reply.
30 mins later and getting angry, thinking he's been ripped off, he shouts the question loudly.
At which the centipede sticks his head out of his box and says "I heard you the 1st time...I'm putting my fucken shoes on!!!"
I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
and people say we are not solemates
Honestly I'm proud of them, and what they can do. Last time I did drugs I could barely tie my shoe.
But now I stand corrected
Says the man wearing orthopedic shoes
White vans.
Now it can't get through the day without a little sake in it first.
My wife (38F) caught the dreaded virus, so it fell to me (39M) to take all the kids to get tested.
I gave them a 10 minute warning while I got my wife a coffee. After 10 minutes (okay it was probably at least 15), I called out to the kids "if you haven't already, can you please grab your shoes and get ready to head to the car..."
I grabbed my own shoes, finished my own coffee, took it to the kitchen, and as I washed it called out "is anyone not ready yet?"
_(no response)_
(louder) **"Okay, how about this then - who _IS_ ready?"**
_my eldest son (13M):_ "um, no one's ready"
#"what!? I gave you all at least 20 minutes!! What is happening!?"
_my eldest son:_ "Well, I'm David, he's John, she's Chloe"
...
and I don't know if I've been so proud to be a dad before
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the the shoe heat jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working the shoe face piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.