The Best 68 The Reward Jokes

Following is our collection of funny The Reward jokes. There are some the reward ages jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these the reward theories puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest The Reward Jokes and Puns

The reward for a job well done is more work.

The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you're not will lead to a sweet reward.

Becoming a parent is great. It's a beautiful and rewarding experience. It's almost as good as not becoming one.

The Reward joke

My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

Dating a blind girl is challenging yet rewarding..

It took me forever to get her husbands voice just right


Semantics really

I woke up this morning and found a bunch of missing person posters around town that said "Offering reward for any information".

I promptly ran to a phone, called them up and told them my favourite colour was blue.

Wishes

A woman was walking on the beach when she spotted a lamp almost buried in the sand. She picked it up, dusted it off, and to her surprise a genie popped out.

"Thank you for releasing me from my thousand-year imprisonment! I will grant you the traditional three wishes as a reward. And since you are married, your husband will get double of whatever you wish for."

"But I hate my husband," the woman protested. "He cheated on me and spent all our money -- I've already filed for divorce."

The genie shrugged and told her it was genie law. "OK, whatever," she said, "Give me a hundred million dollars." *Poof!* There were stacks and stacks of newly minted $100 bills piled in front of her. "So, does that mean my husband has *two* hundred million now?"

"Yep," the genie said.

"OK... for my second wish, I want a 100,000 square foot mansion." *Poof!* There was a huge mansion right up on the bluff, and the deed was in her pocket. "So, does that mean my husband gets *two* mansions?"

"Yes indeed. Now, what would you like for your final wish?"

She thought about it for a minute, then snapped her fingers and said, "Genie -- scare me half to death!"

The Reward joke, Wishes

An angel appears at a faculty meeting...

... And tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.
"Done!" says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."
The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

First Impressions

A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with sex.

Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.

Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"

How do you reward a chicken journalist?

With a poulette surprise!

The Nigerian Government is now offering a $3m reward for the safe return of the missing girls.

All you need to do is provide your name, address, date of birth, bank details and mother's maiden name.

You can explore the reward thermodynamics reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean the reward theoretic dad jokes. There are also the reward puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How does that heaven joke go?

Ages ago, I read this joke about a man dying, and as he ascends the pearly staircase, increasingly attractive women with increasingly large amounts of gold urge him a level higher for some really promising reward. Eventually, he reaches the top, and there's a man who makes Jabba the Hutt look like a sex god, and his name is some kind of sexual pun on the earlier promise.
I just can't for the life of me remember the specifics of the joke. Has anyone else heard it?

How do Emo kids reward themselves?

Gold Scars.

I'll see myself out.

How to be Productive:

1.) Make a list

2.) Cross off the first thing on your list

3.) Reward yourself with a nap

I read this joke in a 1974 Playboy magazine today.

An elderly man died and went to purgatory. There he ran into a friend his age, who is accompanied by a luscious young blonde. "I'm happy for you, Steve", said the new arrival. "At least you're getting a partial reward in this place while you expiate your sins."
"She isn't my reward", sighed Steve, "I'm her punishment!"

Son, as a reward for graduating high-school at the top of your class, we've decided to pool or money and send you abroad!

Son: Is she hot?

The Reward joke, Son, as a reward for graduating high-school at the top of your class, we've decided to pool or money

A good pun is its groan reward!

You know what's most rewarding about working at a children's hospital?

Meeting celebrities

The definition of Halloween:

Halloween: the holiday when children vandalize your yard with toilet paper, then are rewarded with candy the next day.


Capital Reward

Stoners get stoned in Saudi Arabia

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

Those reward cards aren't very good

I got too many points on one and now I'm not allowed to drive

I had a relationship with a blind girl.It was rewarding but challenging,

It took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

After Ash Ketchum catches them all

in Kanto region, they were really happy for him! So when they wanted to reward him for his mighty success, they decided to build a mall for him. They called it

Ketchum Mall.

My boss touched me inappropriately at work today.

It's quite rewarding working from home I tell ya

Why doesn't Russia reward Olympians who win medals?

They already paid for them once

As a reward for winning a race, a young stallion was put in a compound with a beautiful female zebra.

As the next day dawned, the keeper ran to see how the stallion had made out and was chagrined to see him leaning up against a tree. His mane was disheveled, his body covered in welts from angry hooves, and he had two giant black eyes. Astounded, the keeper asked what had happened.

The stallion said, "I spent the whole night trying to take off her pajamas."

Ukraine are currently third in the Paralympics table, reaping the rewards of their investment programme...

...Or as we know it, 'Chernobyl 1986'

Got a Google Opinion Rewards survey asking what solar panel companies I have heard of

*Solyndra*

Reward: Lost Dog

What kind of a reward is a lost dog?

I was teaching my dog how to play dead...

and as a reward for doing it, I gave him a chocolate bar. Now he's really good at it!

I spent my Google Rewards on a video of Caitlyn Jenner

It was definitely worth the transaction

Grandpas joke: Ellen's church recognition

Ellen was very involved with her church and community projects. So much so, the paster decided to recognize her efforts during Sunday service.

Paster Davis: I'd like to take a moment to recognize Ellen for her hard work and contributions. Ellen come up here and take a bow.

Ellen smiles and bows.

Paster Davis: to reward your efforts, why don't you pick out the next 3 hymns.

Ellen points into the crowd "I'll take him, him, and him"

What reward does a light rain get?

A precipitation trophy!

[NSFW] A knight won a jousting tournament

The princess hosting the tournament said "For winning the joust, I shall reward you according to how your name sounds"

The knight replied "Are you sure milady?"

The princess answered "Of course! The previous winner, Silvers Crowne was granted a silver crown like what his name sounds. Now, tell me your name champion."

The knight proudly announced "Milady, my name is Sir Pryce Eynil!!"

What's the difference between EA and AE?

One costs a lot of money if you want all the benefits, rewards, and perks, the other is a credit card company.

I fix ruined hospital rooms for a living.

It's a rewarding job.

Dead people reward

What do dead people get as a reward?

Atrophy

A schoolboy rescues President Trump

A schoolboy walking home from school see Donald Trump* drowning in a pond. He dives him and saves him.

The president is very grateful and offers him a gift as a reward.

"All I want is a wheelchair" says the boy.

A wheelchair? Why do you need a wheelchair? the president asks.

Well, the boy explains, when my old man finds out I rescued you from drowning, he's gonna break both my legs.

*(

I've been trying to train my dog to play dead, so I started rewarding him with chocolates.

I think it worked.

My dad says people shouldn't get rewards just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took away his father of the year award

My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took the Purple Heart that he got in Vietnam.

He was so mad he threw his prosthetic leg at me.

I dated a blind girl once

It was rewarding but challenging. It took months to really perfect her husband's voice.

Torturing French people is so rewarding

The more pain you inflict, the louder they thank you

Scientists use both positive and negative conditioning to teach cats to speak.

In a group of cats, a tutor would reward an individual cat who said "me" with the best food at feeding time. In another experiment, a researcher would apply mild electric shocks to the subject cat until it said "ow".

The lead scientist said they've had some success, however they weren't sure if the cats were using those words in the right context.

3 men walk into a bar. The first one gets naked and sells his clothes. The second one punches himself with a chair and sues the barman. The third one challenges a service dog to a dance-off for a reward. Who made the biggest profit that night?

Their drug dealer

Sometimes when you over-exert yourself to win the game

You are rewarded with atrophy.

Dad: Participation trophies are bad. It rewards people for losing and is unfair to the winners.

Me: *slowly takes down his confederate flag*

Atrophy

...it isn't as rewarding as it sounds

A man who breaks the world record for longest survived coma is rewarded with

atrophy

$90 rewards for anyone who can provide information on the culprits.

It's like looking for a needle in a strawberry.

Fishing is fun and completely natural.

.
.
.
.
.
Spending all day alone in a canoe is a lot more rewarding now that I've learned to master bait.

TIL that if you thank or reward someone for something before they do it, they feel obliged to do it

thanks for the gold, stranger!

How did the shoemaker reward his employees?

With sock options.

Why did the scarecrow receive a reward

He was outstanding in his field

My friend was wondering whether people offering rewards for finding lost kids actually pay up when the search succeeds.

I said 'I think so. I always get the money when I return the ones I kidnap.'

My grandpa was complaining about how participation trophies reward losing

So I asked him why he proudly displayed a Confederate Flag

I was talking to my friend

I was talking to my friend about my recent visit to my grandfather's ranch and was describing my experience there.

I told him that how I had helped my uncle, Jack, off a horse and was rewarded a horse ride for it.

My friend immediately looked at me in disgust and confusion.

Turns out punctuation is very very important for English grammar.

Chess is a very progressive game...

Because if the soldier gets to the enemy's territory, his reward is getting to marry the king.

An old man dies and wakes up in a strange ethereal world.

The first thing he sees is another old man with a curvaceous young lady on his lap.

'This must be heaven!' he exclaims, 'Is she your reward?'

'No,' replies the other old man, 'We're in hell and I'm her punishment!'

It's so rewarding...

...to tell children at the station that the entry to Hogwart's Rail is just a matter of speed...

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink and no one listened.

He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.

My kitten got a reward for having a fat ass

It was a catastrophe

I figured out how to control the weather.

Whenever the wind does something I want it to do, I reward it.

Whenever it does something I don't want it to do I punish it.

Eventually the wind learns to do what I want it to do.

I call it "air conditioning".

Uber driver came to return woman's lost purse

Woman : Thanks but..it is so weird because I remember it containing only a single 100$ note, but now there are ten 10$ notes inside it. How's that possible?

Man: Yeah because everytime I had gone to return someone's wallet or purse, they said they don't have any change to reward me.

My dad rewards me when I earn a good report card, but any C s are punished with unbearable dad-jokes.

He likes to call it the carrot and schtick method of parenting.

WANTED: A mysterious man keeps waking me up whenever I'm about to sleep!

25,000 dollar reward for information if it leads to a rest.

My dad says we shouldn't reward people with trophies for participation, because it's like a reward for losing.

So I took his Vietnam Veteran hat

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the the reward large jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working the reward man piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes