The Best 25 The New Priest Jokes

Following is our collection of funny The New Priest jokes. There are some the new priest theoretic jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these the new priest chin puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest The New Priest Jokes and Puns

Did you hear about the new Exorcist Movie?

They got the Devil to come in to take the Priest out of the child.

Did y'all hear about the new Exorcist movie? Apparently there's a twist.

The devil comes to take the priest out of the kid.

It's a miracle!

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.

The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says,
"Good Lord! He's done it again!"

The New Priest joke, It's a miracle!

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.

The conversation went like this:

"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......

Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye,'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.

New dating app for German Catholic Priests

Kinder


So the business man turned into a priest...

He talks alot about his new profit!

A naive young priest is sent to New York City...

... and while waking through the park is approached by a scantily-clad prostitute.

"Hey father, how about some head, only ten bucks!"

He doesn't understand but is so embarrassed he just mumbles "no thank you" and hurries Back to the church.

Thinking about the encounter later he asks one of the nuns, "hey sister what's 'head'?

"Ten bucks same as in the park."

The New Priest joke, A naive young priest is sent to New York City...

Did you guys hear about the new exorcist movie?

where the woman hires the devil to pull the priest out of her son.

Have you heard about the new Exorcist movie?

The mother calls the Devil to pull the priest out of her son.

Have you heard about the sequel to

the Exorcist ? In the new version, a woman hires the Devil
to get a priest out of her son.

What was the overzealous priest's new year's resolution?

To exorcise more.

You can explore the new priest hand reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean the new priest suggestions dad jokes. There are also the new priest puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Have you heard of the new dating app for Catholic priests?

It's called "Kinder".

Did you hear of the new Marijuana related church?

It gives new meaning to the term High Priest.

Midget priest

The new bishop is visiting local churches to meet the priests and introduce himself.

He walks in to see a midget priest.

Surprised he exclaims "wow you must be the only midget catholic priest in the whole faith, what's that like?"

The midget says "actually we prefer little people"

Bishop replies "Who doesn't"

The Baptised beer

A drunkard was baptized and dipped in water 3 times.
After the third dip, the Priest said: "You are now baptized, you are a new creation. The old one is gone, no more drinking of alcohol for you. Your new name is Gomes."
Gomes went back home and headed straight for the fridge. He took a Beer bottle, dipped it in water 3 times and said: "You are now baptized, you are a new creation. The old one is gone. Your new name is Green Tea!"

Do you remember that show they used to do called touched by an angel? Did you hear there is going to be a new spin-off?

It's called "Touched by a Priest."

The New Priest joke, Do you remember that show they used to do called touched by an angel? Did you hear there is going to

A priest took a group of kids to a new Disney movie

"Aladdin Me"

There is a plane of children along with a priest, a rabbi, and a rapper is flying to New York

Suddenly, the engine catches fire. The rabbi says, "We must save the children." The rapper yells back, "Screw the children!" The Priest responds, "Do you think we have enough time?"

9 is enough.

Shortly after having her ninth baby, an Irish Catholic woman runs into her parish priest.

He congratulates her on the new offspring and says, "Nine children is certainly a full house."

"Well," she replies, "I don't know how I get pregnant so often. It must be something in the air."

"Yes," says the priest, "your legs."


A guy was baptized and dipped in water 3 times.

After the third dip, the Priest said: "You are now baptized, you are a new creation. The old one is gone, no more drinking of alcohol for you. Your new name is Gomes."
Gomes went back home and headed straight for the fridge. He took a Kingfisher Beer, dipped it in water 3 times and said: "You are now a new creation, the old one is gone. Your new name is Green Tea!"

The Catholic church wants more people interested in priesthood.

They have got a lot of bad publicity lately so they just released a new campaign. They are offering scholarships for 100 lucky boys that can attend private school to become a priest for free.

Their slogan: "Find the priest inside of you."

Why did the Egyptian priests think the new Pharaoh was going to die young?

Because he was a too-tan commoner.

A Rabbi, a Preist, and a Monk walk into a bar

The Rabbi orders a drink and says, I'm sick of hearing the same old jokes about us recycled over and over again to which the Priest replies, I completely agree! The template is just dragged out and overused. I'd like to see someone try to make a joke about the three of us in a bar that is new. The monk sits back for a moment and then says how about this one?

Have you seen the new Exorcist movie?

This time it's the devil trying to get the priest out of the child.

A priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut

The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?""Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the the new priest heat jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working the new priest sessions piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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