### A teacher was giving a math lesson...

...and she asked one of her students, "If you had two dollars, and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?"

The student replied, "Two dollars."

"Not quite," the teach responded. "Sounds like you don't know your addition.

"No," the student said, "you just don't know my father."

### Math in the real world

Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway. "You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said. "I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years."

### Maths lesson

Jimmy comes home from school and his mum asks him what he's learned

today. "I learned that if I have three apples and Jenny gives me two more apples, I'll have five apples."

"That's right," says his mum. "So if you have four bananas and I give you three more, how many will you have?"

"Dunno. We haven't done bananas yet."

### A math teacher went to school drunk...

He told the class that they were going to learn derivatives and then proceeded to pass out. He was removed from the school and fired immediately. The lesson?

Don't drink and derive

### There was once a Jewish boy who was terrible at math

...his parents had tried everything: private tutors, online lessons, and after school programs, to no avail. Finally, they gave in, and sent him to one of the best math-oriented schools in the city, which happened to be Christian.

At the end of the first semester, the boy showed his parents his report card, and they were amazed. He had gotten all A's in everything, even math!

"How'd you do it?" His dad asked him.

"What did that school teach you that made you so good at math?" Inquired his mom.

"Well, when I walked in," the boy responded, "there was a guy nailed to a plus sign, so I knew they meant business!"

### What did the mermaid forget to bring to the maths lesson?

Her algae bra.

### Today, In our first math lesson of 2017 our teacher wishes us a good year

"and did you know 2017 is a prime number?"

Please,... not already,....

### I had to go talk to my math teacher since I missed the lesson on radicals

Glad I got everything squared away.

### Why was the clown kicked out of the maths lesson?

Because he kept throwing his pi in other peoples faces!

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