The Best 56 The Hippie Jokes

Following is our collection of The Hippie jokes which are very funny. There are some the hippie hippies jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these the hippie leave puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

I got a new SUV. My hippie friend says to me, "What about the Rainforests? What about the glaciers?"

.. I'm like "Man, it's got 4 wheel drive... We can go anywhere you want!"

-Michael Palascak

How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Hippies only screw in tents.

Just thought of this

So I was at a hippy music festival and after the show I met a few bands back stage. I saw a bassist sitting in the corner by himself so I sat next to him and asked.

"Hey man, my name is Mark. Whats your name, what you been up to?"


This used to be my Dad's favorite joke. "The End of the World"

The world is ending by nuclear warfare and there are three men riding on a plane to a fallout shelter where they would be safe and ride out the devastation. The three men are: the president, the pope, and a young hippie.

Suddenly, as they are nearing their destination, the plane malfunctions and is going down quickly. The three passengers look at each other, then realize: there are only two parachutes.
The President hastily grabs a bag and before jumping out of the hatch says," I am God's gift to you all! I rule the United States! I am the leader this world will need! I am the SMARTEST man on this planet!"

Realizing they don't have much time the pope quickly says to the hippie, "My son, you have many more years to live than I, it would only be right for you to seize this opportunity and fulfill-"

The hippie begins laughing, startling the pope into silence, and says, "Don't worry Father, the smartest man on the planet just jumped out of the plane with my backpack on!"

How do you know if hippies have been in your house?

They are still there.

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?


How do you get a hippie off your door step?

Pay for the pizza and close the door.

Why did the hippy teach the lumberjack calculus?

So he'd use natural logs!

How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Doesn't matter. All they're going to do is stand around and talk about changing it.

Whats the difference between hockey players and hippie girls?

Hockey players shower after 3 periods

Why are hippies against capitalism?

Because money doesn't grow on trees.

Top The Hippie Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore the hippie hippy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean the hippie feet dad jokes. There are also the hippie puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why couldn't the Coast Guard save the hippie?

Because he was wayyy far out man.

Why did god invent patchouli?

So blind people can hate hippies too.

Why couldn't they save the shipwrecked hippies?

They were too far out, man.

What do a hippie-chick and a hockey player have in common?

Both don't shower until after 3 periods.

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?

The hockey player takes a shower after three periods.

Why did the Hippy Drown?

he was tooooo faaaaaaar oouuuuutttt maaaaaannnn

Why do hippies wear pachouli??

So blind people can hate them to

What does the hippie on your couch say when you ask him to leave?


What do you call a bunch of wet opinionated hippies?

I think it's called Portland

What does a dirty hippie say after you ask him to get off your couch?


How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

What's the difference between a hippie girl and a can of beans?

You would still eat the beans after a month in the woods

What's red and orange and looks great on hippies?


How can you tell if a hippie has been at your house?

He's still there.

How many pot-smoking hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Does anyone know? I'm having a party and my lava lamp is burned out.

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy?

He was too far-out.

What do you call a group of paralyzed hippies?

Organic Vegetables.

How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs...they screw in dirty sleeping bags.

Why do hippies like to swim way offshore?

Cause it's far out, man

What's the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick?

You don't peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it


Had the pleasure to meet a couple of hippies today, and they hooted at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term was 'conjoined twins'.

What does a hippy say when you tell him to get off your couch?


Why are most mountain climbers hippies?

Because scalars have no direction

(OC, as far as I know)

What did the lifeguard say to the hippie?

"Hey man, you're too far out!"

Why do old hippies drink Honest Tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

How can you see if a hippie has a girlfriend?

He has one clean finger

Whats the difference between a Muslim hippie and a Jewish hippie?

One's stoned and one's baked.

I'm in Ocean Beach and a homeless man just told me this joke.

Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie?

He was too far out.

What do hippie chicks and hockey players have in common?

They usually shower after three periods.

Where do you drown a hippie?

In the mainstream (I know it was terrible)

A Hippie was walking along the beach line when he kicked a bottle.

A Hippie was walking along the beach line when he kicked a bottle. Suddenly a genie burst forth and yelled,


The Hippie looks at the genie and says, "Cool man. I want too be Uptight, Out of sight, and in the groove."

So the genie turns him into a tampon.

What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl?

The hippie girl gets stoned before sex.

What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bisexual hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek?

A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie and tie dye watching sci-fi on wifi.

Credits: my bud

Why couldn't the life guard save the drowning hippie?

He was too far out, man.

What do you call a hippies' wife?


Back in my hippie college days, a professor came up to me in the cafeteria and asked me, "Ya dig?"

I thought to myself, this guy's pretty far out. I answered, "Yeh, man. I dig!"

That's how I got hoodwinked into joining his archaeological expedition.

What do you call the wife of a hippie?


What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bi sexual Hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek?

A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie watching sci-fi on wifi.

Why couldn't the lifeguard at the beach save the hippie?

He was too far out

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

Cause he was too far out, man.

A bunch of hippies just overthrew the government, smoked weed, and read a poem.

It was a high coup.

How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Hippies dont screw in lightbulbs, they screw in tents...

Gandhi, the first hippie

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

With being a hippie, it's not that we don't take showers, it's just we don't use soap

We'd lather not

What did the one hippie llama say to the other hippie llama?

Alpaca bowl

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the the hippie theories jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working the hippie asked piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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