The Best 22 The 85 Year Old Jokes

Following is our collection of funny The 85 Year Old jokes. There are some the 85 year old heat jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these the 85 year old pair puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest The 85 Year Old Jokes and Puns

A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York.



At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady.

What are both men thinking?

Don't look down.

A 60 year old billionaire marries a hot 24 year old...

During the wedding party, his friends ask him, How'd you land someone that young?

It's simple, said the billionaire, I faked my age!

I mean, I'm 43, and there's no way I could land her! , a friend exclaims. What age did you tell her you were?

Smiling mischievously, the billionaire responds, 85 years old.

An 85 year old man goes to his doctor...

"Doc, I got a big problem."

"I understand you were recently remarried, is that right?"

"Yes. My new wife is 23 years old, and that's exactly the problem. She just told me she's pregnant! I haven't been a father in sixty years, and I don't know what to do."

"Hmm. Let me tell you a story that I think will help explain what's going on here: A near sighted man decides to go bear hunting. On his way out the door, he accidentally picks up his umbrella instead of his rifle. Once he gets to the woods, he is instantly attacked by a ferocious 1,200 pound bear. He picks up his umbrella and shoots it dead. Does that story make sense to you?"

"No! Somebody else must have shot that bear."

"My point exactly."

The 85 Year Old joke, An 85 year old man goes to his doctor...

An 85 year old man goes to his doctor for his annual checkup...

... Doc says, Mr. Jones, I have bad news and worse news.

"Whats the worse news?"

"You have a relatively large brain tumor that is very aggressive and the treatment options are almost nonexistent, so I'm afraid you have about 6 months to live."

Mr. Jones hangs his head for a couple moments and looks up to ask, "And the bad news?"

"you have Alzheimers."

Mr. Jones frowns and says, "well, at least I don't have cancer."

In the divorce court today

In the divorce court today an 85-year old farmer divorced his 17-year old wife, claiming he could not keep his hands off her.

He has since fired all of his hands and bought a combine harvester.


An 85 year old man walks into the doctors office...

... and demands the doctor to lower his sexual potency. The doctor looking confused replies "Sir, the only sexual potency you have is in your brain". Old man replies "I KNOW! I want you to LOWER IT!!"

The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind....

The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said: Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?

Yes, I know, said the lady, I need both hands to hold onto this hat. But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed! said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!

The 85 Year Old joke, The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it woul

Im a doctor and I saw an 85 year old patient with aids the other day..

Turns out they were hearing aids

How is the 85 year old Contractor that survived lung cancer doing?

Asbestos he can.

I'm so sorry.

My 85 year old Grandfather just burned me so hard...

Me: "Hey Pup, know what I've been thinking?"

Pup: "Is that what I smell burning?"

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...

After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..

"It's simple" billionaire boasts...
"I faked my age"

"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.

With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
"85 years old"

You can explore the 85 year old thermodynamics reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean the 85 year old faked dad jokes. There are also the 85 year old puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Fidel Castro just died, Cubans can be finally happy that their country will be ruled by the young generation led by a much younger leader.

His 85 year old brother!

What do you call an 85 year old Jewish man that murdered his wife?

Ruthless

What did the pencil say to the suspicious piece of paper?

I dot my i's on you!

-Heard this from an 85 year old lady in a nursing facility. The mental image of this joke is quite funny!

My therapist said some exercises would add me several years...

and he was right. I've made 15 push-ups right now and I feel like I'm 85 years old.

An 85 year old man had to go to the doctor for a sperm count.

The 85 Year Old joke, An 85 year old man had to go to the doctor for a sperm count.

The snow in the UK is pretty bad right now

So I thought I'd check on my elderly 85 year old neighbour Valerie to see if she needed anything from the shops.

She said she did so I gave her my list too, no point us both going out in this weather.

It was really romantic to see an 85 year old man and 77 year old woman who were a couple for 65 years.

It was horrifying when I did the math.

Two nuns walking through the park were confronted by a flasher.

The 85-year-old nun immediately had a stroke. The younger one didn't touch it.


My 85 year old grandmother was complaining that her joints feel really stiff.

She must be rolling them too tight.

My 85 year old uncle woke up with a stiffy

He said "Look honey, I got a woody".

She replied, "Good, let's clean it while he got the wrinkles out!"

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After hnoeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...

After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..

β€ŸIt is simple billionaire boasts....
β€ŸI faked my age

β€ŸYes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you're? A friend asks.

With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
β€Ÿ85 years old

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the the 85 year old friend jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working the 85 year old socks piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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